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Posted: Sun May 07, 2006 10:12 pm
( xp Okay..Um this is the first chapter for my new story and I want some feedback.. sweatdrop )
Transfixed By A Stanza By:Kori_Jin Chapter One
The scrit-scratch of a pencil on paper furiously making a image was lost to him as well as the lecture of Iruka-Sensai. The blonde was in his own world as his expresseion changed to fit the people he was drawing, It was common for him to be ignored so he didn't feel self conscious about his art, little did he know three pairs of eyes were watch him.
Green.
Black.
A pink haired girl wrinkled her nose and raised her hand. " Iruka-Senai, Naruto is drawing in class again!" She tattled in a whinny voice."
Iruka frowned and dropped a book. "NARUTO!!"
Naruto jumped as everyone laughed.
"Since you believe that you have nothing else to learn about poetry," Iruka began. "Why don't you share last nights homework with the class."
Everyone waited before Naruto stood up holding his Poetry Journal in his hands, reluctantly. He coughed before he began in a quiet voice, getting stronger every second.
" Pain, deception is commonly known, Into every waking minute it is sewn. Worse for one better for you, You do not believe it is true. In your cold eyes I am a whinner and have nothing to regret, Never meeting the bar you set. Yet you'll never know what is inside, What secrets this grinning face will hide. Eyes blue because of the tears I do not cry, I'll be hollow before I die. There will be nothing left of me then, I will be forever lost around the bend. "
The class was silent until the pink haired girl rolled her eyes and snapped testily. " He probably stole it from somebody. We all know Naruto's a complete idiot."
The bell rang and Naruto didn't move until he thought everyone was gone, it was lunch so he didn't have to worry about his next class. As he packed up and walked toward the door, a deep purr stopped him.
" Meaningful. I'll be waiting for you after school to discuss it. Don't be late."
The redheaded goth walked past him, leaving a stunned Naruto. The blonde shook his head and ran after him. "Wait! Who are you?"
"Gaara." Was the response.
Naruto let out a sigh and headed to his locker to find a black haired boy leaning on it.
" Um. Could you please move?" he asked.
"Hn." The boy did so and Naruto quickly punched it, startling the other boy. Naruto pulled open the locker and got out his books. He turned to leave when he noticed that mysterious punk didn't leave. Naruto open to question him but he was cut off.
" Dark."
"What?"
" Your poem."
"Oh.." Sasuke smirked and grabbed Naruto's arm, leading him to the cafeteria. "Dobe."
Naruto twitched but nonetheless let himself he led. The second they were inside the fangirls attacked.
"Hey Sasuke-koi! I've missed you so.." Said the pink haired girl from before, latching onto the raven haired boy called Sasuke.
She pushed Naruto away, causing him to fall on his back.
Sasuke glared at her, giving her a hard shove. " Back off Sakura."
Sakura pouted. "Aww. But Sasuke-"
Sasuke grunted and pulled Naruto up, wrapping an arm protectively around the blonde's waist.
Sakua gasped and glared at Naruto hatefully as he turned pink and let his bangs cover his blue eyes.
The two made their way to an empty table, Sasuke sitting and pulling Naruto into his lap.
" You okay, Dobe?"
"Don't call me that!" Naruto snapped as he moved off of Sasuke's lap, earning him a chuckle from the usually cold boy.
Sasuke gave his neck a n** before walking away. " Your mine, Dobe."
Naruto shivered as he watched him walk out of sight.
What have I gotten myself into? he asked himself in annoyance.
TBC...
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:47 am
OMG! that was good! The poem was really sad and sweet too! ^_^ Please add more i can't wait to see what Garra says/does to our poor blonde! Oh and thank you for adding a reply to my story Longing ^_^
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Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 2:31 pm
Nice. Naruto reminds me of myself sometimes. biggrin
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Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 9:10 pm
Thank you and your very welcome. ^^
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Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 1:44 pm
Nice!
It's interesting and creative...good job!
-//- cool -//-
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Posted: Thu May 25, 2006 6:43 pm
Wicked!! I love that story! I hope you add more soon!!! 3nodding
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:14 pm
Lovely. The story is cute.
I heart Gaara. I am happy that you have him in here. Sometimes writers just forget him. crying
I will be watching.
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Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:34 pm
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 5:38 am
I loved it!!!I wanna read more to! ^^
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 7:36 am
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2006 9:49 pm
(Thank you for all your sweet words!! ^^ Here is the long overdue Chapter 2 [Wow, I rhymed unintentinally..lol..] )
Tranfixed By A Stanza By:Kori_Jin Chapter Two
After agonizing classes fulled with angry fangirl attacks, teachers lecturing him AND the nervewreaking feeling of being watched and undressed with someone's eyes, the school day was over.
Naruto let out a sigh as he made his way outside to look for Gaara. He spotted the red head walking toward him.
He yelped as he was pulled away from his left, watching as Gaara's beautiful green eyes surrounded by what looked to natural to be eyeliner widdened then narrow with rage.
The blonde looked behind him to see the black haired and eyed teen from before, Sasuke, leading him to his car.
"Dobe."
"Hey, what are you-"
He was yanked with great force, not enough to hurt him into the taller, green eyed teens chest.
He opened his eyes to see Sasuke on the ground holding his nose and glaring and yelling at Gaara.
"Leave him a alone you freak. He is mine."
" Really then why is he with me and your on the ground, Uchiha."
Naruto blinked and pulled himself away from the so called 'freak'.
"The hell is going on?!"
Gaara blinked at him before answering in a emotionless voice." He doesn't want you around me Uzamaki-san. Choose."
" Stay away from this freak Naruto!" Sasuke demanded grabbing a hold of naruto again and tried to pull him away.
Naruto pulled his arm away and glared. " You can't control me, I barely even know you two. I just want to talk to Gaara to chill out. And he's not a freak. And what do you mean i have to choose!?"
The two goths stood with wide eyes as the foxboy ranted on, leaving them speechless when he went on for about an hour with taking a breathe.
Naruto finally calmed down, panting as he glared weakly. "Now, can I just talk to you two later? I'm late for work."
They both nodded, not wanting to upset the blonde again. "May I come with you Uzamaki-san?"
"I would also like to, Dobe." Sasuke said with a completative gleam in his eye.
"Fine. But DON'T cause anymore trouble or I'm murder you both with my bare hands, rip your flesh of your bones,mix it in the blender, feed it to the stray cats around my neighborhood, burn your bones and dump your ashes in the ocean!!!"
The two gulped nervously and nodded quickly.
"Good" With that Naruto jumped behind some bushes and changed into his work uniform and headed toward the resturant called Paisible Lune.
Sasuke and Gaara followed him closely like two lost puppies, shooting glares at each oth along the way.
They were surprised at how far work was after about three of fast walking threw town but gasped at the well designed building they entered..
TBC
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Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 9:17 pm
OMG!!!! I love it and that video on youtube. The story is so good and the video is kinda sad. But, its all good. xp
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Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:20 pm
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Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 3:27 pm
I liked it too i cant wait for the update! Woot go sasuke go and get your dobe! Gaara, i love you but really you should go and date Lee...or Neji ^_^;;
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Posted: Wed May 31, 2006 5:30 pm
"Fine. But DON'T cause anymore trouble or I'm murder you both with my bare hands, rip your flesh of your bones,mix it in the blender, feed it to the stray cats around my neighborhood, burn your bones and dump your ashes in the ocean!!!" wow..... scary.... GO GAARA! GET NARU-CHAN! HES ALL YOURS!!!
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