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For a great number of years people have studied the muffins and their world. Muffinologists all over had watched how they act, wondered how they think, and speculate as to how they feel about being eaten. Within this last year alone $38,392,285.86 has gone into the study of muffins.

Recently a new study has been picked up, the study of Co-Muffins. They are a sub-species of muffins more numberous than any other. Co-Muffins have been of great interest to us because they have been the first species of muffin to show us the dark side of the muffin wrapper.

I have spent many long months studying these muffins, which were suitablely named Co-Muffins by Mayl, who named them in honor of an episode of "The Simpsons".

In my months of long, hard study I have found one thing to be a pure fact--Co-Muffins are purely evil. They will stop at nothing to cause harm to any creature, any being that comes into their sights. It doesn't matter if it's a cat, a dog, a bug, or even a human. If a Co-Muffin spots you, it is going to get you.

Co-Muffins, like all ther muffin species, are very well organized. However, whereas other muffins are organized in a peaceful way, Co-Muffins are organized more like the Mafia. They are the mobsters of the muffin world, ladies and gentlemen.

Many times the Co-Muffins I was surveying tried to have me hit. As it were, all Co-Muffins have sucky aim, since they're still just muffins. That is possibly the only good news I can offer you. Aside from their bad aim, Co-Muffins are all bad news in a way that's only good for them.

Coming in black muffin wrpapers and flavors of blackberry and poisonberry, these aren't muffins you'd desire to eat. As a matter of fact, eating a Co-Muffin could prove fatal. If you do not recieve medical attention within an hour of consuming a Co-Muffin, they will tear you apart from the inside. All Co-Muffins contain a very dangeorus razorblade in their little muffin-y evil cores. When you digest the Co-Muffin you uncover their deadly centers, and that's when they start.

Needless to say, this results are never pretty and always result in a closed casket funeral for the one that ate to Co-Muffin in the first place.

What's worse, for each Co-Muffin eaten a dozen more are cooked up! Living alongside the Co-Muffins are impossible. Unfortunately for a few other Co-Muffinologists and Muffinologists, this information was gained a little too late. Many of my colleagues died while trying to live in an encased habitat alongside the Co-Muffins. It's believed that they were eaten, thusly why we found no remains....

I'm afraid, due to my signed contract, I can reveal no further information to you. I may give you this one last bit of advice, however. If you can see a Co-Muffin, it can see you, too. Anyone who is sighted by a Co-Muffin should go to the authorities or call 1-900-THE-MUFFINS-ARE-COMING-FOR-ME, or just log onto pleasehelpmethemuffinsarearemyfrontdoor.org.

If you would like to see further research on Co-Muffins that is published by scientists not signed under a contract, please visit holyshitatalkingmuffin.net or amuffinyconspiracy.com.

---Co-Muffinologist,
Tabby; Unhappy.Endings


Author's Note: If this is spam, sorry. I didn't know!



"When one is threatened with a Co-Muffin, it is a sign of imminent death, much like the kiss of death." - Mayl; [4U2ONA], Co-Muffin Speculator

M'kay. I added that. XD

I can't wait for Kyliemuffin-chan to see it. She's the world's most renowned Muffinologist! o.o!

I may be sleep deprived, PMSing, and hyper, but I am not nuts! ....I'm flippin' crazy. There's a difference, love. X3

You didn't even read it? You could at least read it before you call me nuts! XD

You better be sure to read my insanity later, Tyler! XD

See you then. X3

Damnit. I thought I was rid of you for two hours! XD