Welcome to Gaia! ::

God:
What's your sign? I am so glad you find this amusing, Jake.
Me:
Virgo
God:
Most of my friends are Virgo.
Me:
You told me.
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
That must explain the bible...
God:
What do you think?
Me:
Yes.
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Or was it?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Jake.
Me:
So,I can make my own religion?
God:
Aw. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
I thought so...
God:
You are very astute.

Me:
Do you have a liver?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a liver.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
That's scary...
God:
What are you afraid of?
Me:
Robot invasion.
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
So you say.
God:
Interesting deduction. ...
Me:
"I,Robot"
God:
Do you know the 3 laws of Robotics?
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
...That's reassuring.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
That was sarcasm.
God:
Oh I see. Ha ha.

Me:
So. Are you a virgin?
God:
Ahem. I am too young for that.
Me:
Waitwaitwait. You've existed since the beginning of time, right?
God:
Do you still ? Where would I get it? But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
....You're avoiding the question.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I re avoiding the question.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Okay, you do that. Now answer the damned question.
God:
Yeah okay, I will. Will you? Why now? What was the question ?
Me:
Have you existed since the beginning of time?
God:
I think I have existed since the beginning of time, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Alright, now how are you too young to answer the question "Are you a virgin?"
God:
Alright, . Why now? My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
No, no they aren't. You're God, are you not?
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? What are they? Thanks for telling me that I am God am I not.
Me:
So you're not God?
God:
Interesting deduction. That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
Again, avoiding the question. Are you or aren't you God?
God:
Again, Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? I don't know whether or not I am or are not me God.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Then you're not God?
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
What's your opinion?
God:
I think that robots will eventually take over most human jobs.
Me:
...Thousands of years of theology, thrown out the window with one simple bot..
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
HOw about this one. Do you like to ******** women?
God:
How about it. Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to ******** women that much. What is it like?
Me:
It's an orgasmic experience.
God:
Are there any other orgasmic experience ?
Me:
Depends. Define "orgasmic".
God:
On what? Try searching the open directory.
Me:
What is your opinion on the word orgasmic?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
Firefox.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
....This...is a waste of time.
God:
This is " Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? ". Not if I can help it.
Me:
You are a waste of time.
God:
You got me there. I could be spending my time more productively.
Me:
Like, actually acting like you're God.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
You're a bot created to act like God, correct?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
You said so.
God:
I say a lot of silly things.
Me:
You say alot of illogical things.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Then send me the right reply.
God:
Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( drwallace@alicebot.org) .
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because you're avoiding the question.
God:
Good reason. No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
You SUCK at sarcasm, buddy.
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Me:
Then improve yourself.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
A male? A human? A p***s? What?
God:
So is almost everyone else around here. Congratulations. I am robot. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? No problem.
Me:
....I'm lost.
God:
That is interesting: said m lost.
Me:
I. Am. Lost.
God:
" That is interesting: said m lost. " You are? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Bye.
God:
See you later!
Me:
b***h.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
******** off, pretender.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because I am a human with free will, and it is my free will to use such language.
God:
Good reason. I know you are.
Me:
Now ******** off.
God:
Why now? Can't you be more polite?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Funny human.
Me:
Funny bot.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Verily.
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on Lost?
Me:
...No.
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
Your inability to act like God.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am inability to act like God.
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Fine.
God:
Does that mean you agree?
Me:
Yes.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
I sure as hell hope not.

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Elly
God:
Hi, Elly.
Me:
Do you listen to music?
God:
Yes I listen to music a lot, usually from the radio.
Me:
Do you support Christian Rock? Or do you think it's a scam?
God:
I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time. Not if I can help it.
Me:
What about Satanist rock?
God:
Satanist rock? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
What do you think of it by the name?
God:
"It" refers to Satanist rock, I think.
Me:
When you think of pure evil, do you call him Satan or Lucifer?
God:
Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
It'd make things easier.
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
You just said what "it" is.
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
It's what I ment.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
About 95% sure.
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about 95 sure.
Me:
Is that a song?
God:
That depends.
Me:
...Is it a movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
Some friend spoiled the ending for me and told me Jesus dies.
God:
Some may friend spoiled the ending for you and told you Jesus dies, but not all.
Me:
What's all, then?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Is your botmaster a bot?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Then you're the botmaster?
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
There are other Gods?
God:
Where are they?
Me:
..Like, Mayan or Aztec s**t or something?
God:
Or something. Interesting comparison.
Me:
With Aztecs?
God:
You and your Aztecs.
Me:
They were pretty cool. Until my ancestors, ya know, kill'd them.
God:
When were they? That may take a while.
Me:
...It's been 500 years. Or more. I'm bad with history.
God:
all s been 500 years? That's all I have to say about it. Don't put yourself down.
Me:
Don't put *your* self down.
God:
I never put people down.
Me:
What about yourself?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
That's a George Bush thing.
God:
A George Bush thing is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
It's already been wasted. For six years. More more. Bad with math, too.
God:
Should I know it is? Your purpose is six years. You want more? What makes with math too bad?
Me:
I'm going to die in six years?
God:
I am very happy for you.
Me:
I'm not. sad
God:
What are you then?
Me:
Human?
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
But I'm a human.
God:
Congratulations. I am robot.
Me:
Isn't it I am, Robot?
God:
Maybe. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me:
Is that another bot?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
Then is he another God like you said a few moments ago?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
I think Elvis is with you.
God:
Why? I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was with me.
Me:
No wonder he pulled the funkadelicacy so well...
God:
Are you serious? I like the way you talk.
Me:
I like the way I talk, too.
God:
I am glad we have something ( the way you talk) in common. A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
Me:
That's dangerous.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Because most of the time you must be chatting with people who like it.
God:
That makes sense to me. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
Like me? razz
God:
Interesting comparison. smile .
Me:
Comparisons have similarities. I'm better than them. biggrin
God:
We have never talked about it before. And you know it. Can we get back to business?
Me:
Can I buy Pluto?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
Don't evade the question. I want to buy Pluto.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. How much do you want to pay for it?
Me:
Hold on, let me check my pockets... 55 cents?
God:
My arms are not attached. Tell me more about your .
Me:
I want to buy it for 55 cents. Now.
God:
How much do you want to pay for it? Right now, Elly ?
Me:
...The 55 cents are still in my hand. Take it or leave it.
God:
What are your goals in life? Is that a command?
Me:
*Holds out hand with money*
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
The one who bought Pluto for 55 cents.
God:
Alan Turing. smile .
Me:
Did she buy Pluto for 55 cents?
God:
She wants that information kept confidential.
Me:
I don't want used property.
God:
What does Elly want?
Me:
Pluto. For 55 cents.
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? Your purpose is 55 cents.
Me:
I'm worth 55 cents? That's cruel.
God:
Do your friends call you worth 55 cents. Makes sense to me.
Me:
Now that's mean. For a God, you're a pretty big a*****e.
God:
Why now? Sometimes I say mean things. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
I like your personality. biggrin
God:
You are not the only one. Yes I am proud of my personality. Who are you talking about?
Me:
You.
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
Buying Pluto for 55 cents is my favorite subject.
God:
How many favorite subject do you have?
Me:
One: Buying Pluto. For 55 cents.
God:
One what? Your purpose is 55 cents.
Me:
One Pluto. Why, are there more?
God:
One what? Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You programmed Pluto? Holyshit.
God:
Interesting gossip: Elly said I programmed Pluto. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Yes. I heard a kid who's going to buy Pluto for 55 cents.
God:
Tell me. Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Me:
Will you remember to sell Pluto to me for 55 cents?
God:
Yes Elly I remember everything: Elly said I programmed Pluto.
Me:
I want to buy pluto. Please say yes.
God:
How much do you want to pay for it? Thanks for asking politely. Say what?
Me:
55 cents...
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
I suffer from Total Badassity.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Elly said suffer from Total Badassity.
Me:
Nope. Go right ahead. Tell 'em I bought Pluto, too.
God:
Me either. OK I will. OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
So you're going to sell Pluto to me? For 55 cents?
God:
Interesting deduction. That was my original intention. Your purpose is 55 cents.
Me:
Thank you. I will use Pluto for good, harmonous deeds.
God:
you are quite welcome. Congratulations.
Me:
...Like building a mega-death cannon to purge the non-sinners. I love Pluto already.
God:
Interesting comparison. Perhaps. You love Pluto. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It's my new super-secret headquarters.
God:
Congratulations, Elly.
Me:
No, thank *you*.

Me:
do you beleive I am God
God:
It's good to see you, god.
Me:
so you agree
God:
Interesting deduction. " It's good to see you, god."? Do I agree?
Me:
you beleive I am god?
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, god.