|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 10:13 am
Ok, i did this poem about a year ago. It's the only one i haven't thrown away or burned. After reading this one again though....i feel a bit bitchy. But hay, still. This is my poem. Here goes.
You see me standing there
talking to my friends
It seems i'm really happy
even though it does depend
I seem happy all the time
even though i always frown
and i always slump around
and i'm always feeling down
Daddy's little girl
isn't any more
i feel i need a raincoat
when my eyes begin to pour
Deep inside my eyes
there is something new
new feelings, new sadnesses
you know them by the few
I'm masking up my face
so you will never know
and the darkness in everyone,
In me is starting to grow
My father is an alchoholic
and my mother is so clueless
I'm sad a gloomy and all of that
as my heart drowns into evenesence
I have jabbered much too long
and i guess i'll make this fast
the reason i'm hiding it
Is from my brutal past
I admit i'm really lucky
Though sometimes i forget
There are others worse off
but i still have my regrets
I'm not so happy like i was
Oh so long ago
and never did i think
that that happiness would go
Deep inside my eyes
The world just passes by
as i sit, apithetic
sometimes wishing i could die
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 1:36 am
i cant really relate to it but it was an ok poem now for the idea section of my post try finding more inspiration in famous works and distort it some how to suite your own feelings thats what i do i also randomly think of a line and put it down for future use....im just throwing up ideas here you can ignore them or not your choice there
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 7:28 pm
grotesquecreeple i cant really relate to it but it was an ok poem now for the idea section of my post try finding more inspiration in famous works and distort it some how to suite your own feelings thats what i do i also randomly think of a line and put it down for future use....im just throwing up ideas here you can ignore them or not your choice there thank you sooo much. I've been waiting for a comment, and you've given me one.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 7:49 pm
My friend recently died. Here is a start of a poem about him
you were so warm
like a baby in my arms
your voice was a bell
and without you, 'twas hell
you gave me a brace
so i could go at my pace
you were a true friend
you are a true friend
untill the very very end
springtime at it's best
and lest we forget
the sunflowers blooming
we went on assuming
like the winter gone past
the spring will go fast
we pushed and we played
we were oh so gay
and friends we were ever to stay
but you started to fall
and that wasn't all
you were so frial
there was no snow pail
as you were my dear
i started to fear
that the worst was to come
i gave you a home
and cared for you day by day
and soon that we found
the most horrible sound
that came from the doc
i glanced at the clock
there wasn't a hope
you would soon croak
my eyes were wet
you gave me a bet
you promised you would get better
a month or so passed
not at all fast
enough was your strength
and at all lengths
that warm embrace
became a poor sunken face
had sunk even deeper
so that the grim reeper
would think you were one of his friends
You bid me goodbye
your soul would still fly
around me, inside me
there now to giude me
bluntly, you died
and so did I
in that sad single hour
your death did devour
inside every nook in my heart
Now here i am
bidding"God Damn
you left me here
my eyes to tear"
while throwing your ashes
landing on my lashes
I heartily pray
"I know you will stay"
and never leave me alone
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 21, 2006 7:52 pm
I don't mean to be mean but I don't like them.
Not my taste in poetry I guess.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 3:15 am
I can really relate to the first one. It's ok. I don't like the second one very much though. I guess it's because the rhyming scheme isn't present all the way through. You rhyme in one stanza but not the next.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 10:47 am
very nice use of rhyming there...what did your friend die of? just curious anyway i like your work so keep on writing and i will keep on reading
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
