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We now begin the trial of Ian. Will the prosecution please start his opening statement.

Thank you, your honor.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury...

Imagine that you have been invited to the biggest party in all of the world. Everyone who's anyone is going to be there. It is going to be the biggest party ever celebrated in your lifetime.

You arrive and everything is great until you notice the smoke. There is a fire engulfing the roof of the mansion. Everyone scatters. People are trapped inside. It is a nightmare. However, in this case, this is a reality.

For on the night of October 30th, 2005, the defendant IAN set fire to the Gambino mansion in a premeditated crime of hate that had festering inside of his sick mind for years.

Throughout the course of this trial, we will establish that Ian has a long history of resentment and jealousy against the Gambino family. In particular, Ian had a clear motive of jealousy against Gino Gambino. We will also show you ironclad evidence that there was no mistake that Ian was, in fact, on the premises at the time of the arson. We will also show that Ian is a man who is prone to acts of violence.

At the end of this trial, there will be no doubt that IAN was responsible for the act of arson at the Gambino mansion.

]The prosecution may call its first witness.

The prosecution calls Ruby to the stand.
Please state your name and occupation for the court record.

My name is Ruby and I run the Gambino Hat Rack with my son, Peyo.

The Gambino Hat Rack. I see. That's a very successful business you have there wouldn't you say?

Why yes, the Gambino Hat Rack has the widest assortment of headgear and hats in all of Gaia. We are very fortunate to have gotten such prime real estate in the heart of the Marketplace in the Isle De Gambino.

Yes, that IS very fortunate. And exactly how did you get such a prime location?

It was actually given to me as a present. It used to be the location of the Gambino Boutique.

The Gambino Boutique? You mean the shop now known as the Barton Boutique?

Yes, the very same.

Doesn't Ian run the Barton Boutique?

Yes, he does. Well, not now, that is... his cat Rufus is running the store while he is in jail.

Do you know Ian well?

Why, yes, I grew up with Ian.

Then you would know how Ian felt about losing his store on Gambino Isle?

Yes. Ian was very upset by this. His family had entrusted the store to him only a month before it was taken away by the Island authorities.

I see. And why was it that the store was taken away from him?

I'm not too sure of the specifics, but apparently when the deed was signed over, some incongruities in the paperwork exposed that the plot of land belonged to the Island and not an individual.

And who was in charge of this acquisition?

Johnny K. Gambino.

THE Johnny K. Gambino? Of the Gambino family? Of the Isle De Gambino?

Yes.

And you say that Ian was upset by this?

Yes.

Would you say that Ian resented the Gambino family for taking his store away from him?

OBJECTION! *clang clang* The witness cannot speculate on this matter.

Let me rephrase the question. In your opinion, is it possible that Ian held some resentment against the Gambino family because of this incident?

I suppose he could have. Ian's always been pretty quiet about the Gambino's ever since then. Especially when I mention Johnny. God bless his soul.

Thank you, Ruby. I have no further questions.

[ Message temporarily off-line ]

[ Message temporarily off-line ]

Day 2

Cindy Donovinh here at the Durem Courthouse.

Yesterday, we saw some pretty damning testimony from the prosecution witnesses. But so far, none of that testimony showed any real evidence.

Defensebot513A seems definitely out of his league here, but will his adaptive programming step up to the plate in court today?

Let's find out! The proceedings are about to begin!

Defensebot, your witness.
Your designation is Bucho. You claim to be in charge of security for the Gambino family?
Affirmative. For over a decade.
Do you possess any visual information pertaining to the actual act of the incendiary process?
... I do not comprehend the question.
Pardon me. *clang clang* Let me rephrase the question. Do you "have any actual footage of the defendant starting the fire?"
Negative. But him fleeing the crime is pretty suspicious, no?
I understand that you were also in charge of security for 2k4's Halloween Bash at the Gambino mansion?
Affirmative.
Is it not true that that event also ended in a disaster?
Nothing that could not be contained.
A low yield nuclear blast is not exactly something someone would do if something could be contained, sir.
Why I--
Can you explain to the court how come a trusted head of security is able to screw up the simple process of "security" year after year resulting in thousands of deaths?
You need to stop little bot if you don't want to get hurt.
ORDER! ORDER!!
How is it that you are still head of security after FAILING to do your job year after year?
I will KILL you little bot.
ORDER! ORDER!! That's it, security, take Bucho off of the stand!
I'll be BACK.

Defensebot, you may begin the cross examination.
Your designation is Geebus, the head butler of the Gambino Estate.
If you ask Geebus, I'd say you were correct, sir.
*clang clang* Excuse me, but isn't your designation, Geebus?
Yes, and I'm telling you that you are correct, sir, if you ask Geebus.
*clang clang* ask ... Geebus ... *clang clang*
I said, I am Geebus, sir.
*clang clang* Redundant Memory Error ...
ORDER! ORDER!!