|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:06 pm
I am a 16-year old female....
My mom got married to this man about 5 years ago....
It all started with him saying he was trying to get my dog away from me at night.... when in fact he was grabbing my a**.... I was only 11!
Before I realized it.... He was sneaking into my bedroom at night and grabbing my boobs and I was petrifyed....
I couldn't move at all......
I know it sounds sooooo stupid of me.... and I kinda feel like it was my fault that it went on for so long....
But I also told my mom and she would ask him.... And what do you expect he did? HE CALLED ME A LIAR! He swore up and down that I was making it all up.....
So this all went on from the time I was 11 to the time I turned 16..... I suppose that about a year ago....
I know I could have done something else... I could have screamed.... I could have done SOMETHING to stop him... At least that's what I tell myself.... I think if I had tried to fight him off.... he would have became agrresive and raped me....
I hate him so much.... and He stresses my mom out so much. She finally believes me and doesn't love him any more...
But she has a back problem and has a very low self-esteem.... so she thinks that she wouldn't be able to support the both of us by herself.
And he still lives in my house.
He lives here.
So now I have to watch where I get undressed.... and I constanly feel him looking me up and down.... I was teaching my mom to dance... and he was watching me.... not her..... she noticed that before I did....
But I have no proof that he's done anything.... so If I went to the authority figures around my area.... It'd be useless....
I told my bf... and I was expecting him to storm into my house and beat the crap out of my step-dad...... Truth is..... I really wanted him to.... But I told him not to..... You see... my step-dad makes it look like he's the perfect guy..... and like he treats me and my mom like he's supposed to.
He adopted two twin boys that I call my little brothers...
I suppose I didn't want him to get in trouble with the law because they would send my little brothers to some other family....
Was it my fault that it went on for so long?
Is it wrong that I want to see him hurting?
Is it wrong that I want my bf to hurt him?
The only reason I never turned him in is because of those boys he adopted..... I love them ike they were my own little brothers... Like my flesh and blood....
Wanna hear something else? My step-dad says he loves me like his own flesh and blood. As if I were his own daughter.
My bio-logical father lives in Alabama and knows nothing of this....
My dad doesn't know!!!
And I'm not moving in with my dad because I am madly in love with my boy friend....
He'd already lost one girlfriend..... and He isn't going to lose me.... not if I can help it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:06 pm
Its NOT your fault, don't blame yourself.
Your step dad has to be stopped, please you can't let this go on. Tell your mum to get rid of him, he is no good for either of you.
Please first its rape then it could be violence, help yourself, help your mother, and help your brothers. They shouldn't grow up thinking these kind of things are right, if they don't know right now, they will find out and it will affect them.
So get help, get him done, be safe.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:28 pm
I haven't been raped.....
I was molested.....
I just said I think if I had fought back I might have been raped....
My little brothers don't know....
They don't know anything about it....
I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes if they did.
And I wouldn't be able to stand their looks of blame.... Because I know they would blame me...
And it's been a real long time since he's done it...
So there's no proof.....
I just don't think I can stand the sight of him any longer.....
I just want to hit him so badly...
I want him to feel guilty for what he did....
Instead of feeling happy.....
Is that wrong?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:57 pm
It's not wrong to feel that way until you actually act upon it (except in self-defence. and that's just my way of thinking about it)...
It isn't your fault, and they shouldn't blame you. I'm sure if it was explained to them they wouldn't. And... this is probably a bad thing to say, but how do you know he hasn't done anything to them...? .__.;
Really really, you should find someone who can help...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:57 pm
crying I don't know if he's done anyhting to them.....
I don't think he has.....
They live in a different city with his parents.... (their 'grandparents' )
I just can't stand that thought.....
I'm not saying the thought hasn't occured to me....
But I just can't see him doing it to them.....
I think he did it to me and only me....
But there were times where I would sleep next to my brothers (when they stayed over) and he would even touch me then!
When I told my mom he said I was lying and even asked, 'Why would I do such a stupid thing next to my sons? When there is a chance they would wake up?'. I told him I didn't know why he was so stupid... crying
I want to add to the fact that he didn't stop at grabbing my boobs......
This will sound kinda disgusting.... and it's hard to admit..... but he tried fingering me too.... crying
And I couldn't move I was sooo scared......
I just don't understand why I couldn't move....
I told my self to roll over... to do anything.... I wanted to bolt from there.... I wanted to run-away..... stressed
I wanted an explanation..... and I still do.... But I haven't got one yet....
And I don't think I ever will..... crying
I just can't understand why it happened.....
I think that's what people ask themselves after a thing like this....
But most of all..... I want to know why I never moved.... gonk
Of why I was unable to move and just stop it....
When I actually was able to make myself move.... he'd wait.....
and then he'd start it all over again.... crying crying
That's when I tried to ignore the fact of what he was doing.... But I couldn't ignore it....
And whenever it stopped.... I would cry myself to sleep..... crying
It scares me...... you know.... what if it happens to me again? question
Will I have the strength to make it stop? question
That's what scares me the most.......
What if it happens again and I can't move.... what if it turns into rape instead of molestation? question
I mean.... there's a chance it can happen again...... right??? question
I don't know anyone who can help....
I DON'T HAVE ANY PROOF......
NONE WHAT-SO-EVER.....
sweatdrop stressed I mean.... they can't check for virginity..... I found the person I love and gave it to him.... my bf... heart ... Mike. And even he knows about what happened to me... sweatdrop stressed
question question question How would I prove this if I have NO proof? question question question
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:26 pm
I think i understand... I think back on things like this that have happened to me and i wonder why i did what i did too. I don't know... I think... maybe it's hard to understand or accept what's happening, maybe? Like, "wait, this can't be happening to me..." sort of thing...? Also, yeah, it's really, really scary, like you said...
It's not useless to tell an authority figure. At least, i don't think it is... I didn't have any proof about things that happened to me when my friend called the school for me, and they didn't do any tests. There hasn't been an investigation, yet i no longer have to visit my father. As far as i know, saying something about it is enough, because it's not something that most people would make up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:33 am
STOP BLAMING YOURSELF
It wasn't your fault. You were scared. You were worried for your brothers' safety and your own. I think it would be best if you told the authorities what ahppened. I know, easier said than done, but I think it seems like it might be better for everyone.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 11:23 am
It's not your falt at all. I'm glad that your mom is starting to believe you. You really need to really tell someone other than that. You also need to get some kind of help. As in a therapist. It really does help. I was in it for 4 years.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 12:12 pm
I just dunno if I can say anything.....
I'm not trying to give a sob story or something.....
I'm actually quite fine.....
I just dunno if I can stand his sight anymore....
I think I may end up hurting him one of these days....
I don' have 100% control of my emotions.....
So I think it would be easy for me to just blow up and hit him....
I know the difference between good and bad....
But would I get punished for just hauling off and hitting him???
crying
I hate him so f***ing much.....
I'm a nervous wreck whenever I'm somewhere he is....
I don' trust him at all.....
And there are times when he is alone in the house with me.....
But I avoid him or give him evil glares anytime he comes near me...
You know what's bad?.....
The only male I can allow myself to trust now is my little brothers and mf bf.... I love all three of them....
Especially my bf.... We have been going out for over half a year now....
heart He is the only one I don' wanna make mad... 3nodding heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 4:21 am
black azria I just dunno if I can say anything.....
I'm not trying to give a sob story or something.....
I'm actually quite fine.....
I just dunno if I can stand his sight anymore....
I think I may end up hurting him one of these days....
I don' have 100% control of my emotions.....
So I think it would be easy for me to just blow up and hit him....
I know the difference between good and bad....
But would I get punished for just hauling off and hitting him???
crying
I hate him so f***ing much.....
I'm a nervous wreck whenever I'm somewhere he is....
I don' trust him at all.....
And there are times when he is alone in the house with me.....
But I avoid him or give him evil glares anytime he comes near me...
You know what's bad?.....
The only male I can allow myself to trust now is my little brothers and mf bf.... I love all three of them....
Especially my bf.... We have been going out for over half a year now....
heart He is the only one I don' wanna make mad... 3nodding heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:14 pm
Was it my fault that it went on for so long?
No, he shouldn't have done it. he should have stopped. you told your mother and that should have stopped it.
Is it wrong that I want to see him hurting?
no, if i were you i would want to see the bas***d hung, drawn and quatered but violence is not the answer, call the police (hopefully your police whever you live aren't as pathetic as the ones here) and report it. so its not rape, and you have no proof, start complaining now and you will have a better case.
Is it wrong that I want my bf to hurt him?
again, no. but viloence is not the answer. when i was sexually assualted by senior student my boyfriend beat the crap outta him and got in a heck of a lot of trouble.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:28 pm
my advice..this is the advice i gave my fiance when she had gotten raped...carry a knife..if that b*****d does anything again,chop his d**k off...that will keep him from you...heh..he will never mess with you again,fearing that you would finish the job...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 11:49 am
black azria I am a 16-year old female....
My mom got married to this man about 5 years ago....
It all started with him saying he was trying to get my dog away from me at night.... when in fact he was grabbing my a**.... I was only 11!
Before I realized it.... He was sneaking into my bedroom at night and grabbing my boobs and I was petrifyed....
I couldn't move at all......
I know it sounds sooooo stupid of me.... and I kinda feel like it was my fault that it went on for so long....
But I also told my mom and she would ask him.... And what do you expect he did? HE CALLED ME A LIAR! He swore up and down that I was making it all up.....
So this all went on from the time I was 11 to the time I turned 16..... I suppose that about a year ago....
I know I could have done something else... I could have screamed.... I could have done SOMETHING to stop him... At least that's what I tell myself.... I think if I had tried to fight him off.... he would have became agrresive and raped me....
I hate him so much.... and He stresses my mom out so much. She finally believes me and doesn't love him any more...
But she has a back problem and has a very low self-esteem.... so she thinks that she wouldn't be able to support the both of us by herself.
And he still lives in my house.
He lives here.
So now I have to watch where I get undressed.... and I constanly feel him looking me up and down.... I was teaching my mom to dance... and he was watching me.... not her..... she noticed that before I did....
But I have no proof that he's done anything.... so If I went to the authority figures around my area.... It'd be useless....
I told my bf... and I was expecting him to storm into my house and beat the crap out of my step-dad...... Truth is..... I really wanted him to.... But I told him not to..... You see... my step-dad makes it look like he's the perfect guy..... and like he treats me and my mom like he's supposed to.
He adopted two twin boys that I call my little brothers...
I suppose I didn't want him to get in trouble with the law because they would send my little brothers to some other family....
Was it my fault that it went on for so long?
Is it wrong that I want to see him hurting?
Is it wrong that I want my bf to hurt him?
The only reason I never turned him in is because of those boys he adopted..... I love them ike they were my own little brothers... Like my flesh and blood....
Wanna hear something else? My step-dad says he loves me like his own flesh and blood. As if I were his own daughter.
My bio-logical father lives in Alabama and knows nothing of this....
My dad doesn't know!!!
And I'm not moving in with my dad because I am madly in love with my boy friend....
He'd already lost one girlfriend..... and He isn't going to lose me.... not if I can help it. Hey the police may not be able to arrest him or charge him now, but report it all the same. My uncle raped me when I was 7 years old, I didn't tell someone until I was 12 - I'm now 15 (16 on Wednesday) they couldn't charge him but now there is a restraining order on him. He's not allowed to come near any children in my family. Report it, and get help. Going to see a counsellor or therapist can REALLY help. I still have nightmares, but they aren't as bad as they were 2 years ago. Get help...Please!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 7:51 pm
wow its deep but i can tell you from experience .. sadly the law cannot do anything for you... the only thing they can go by is eye witnesses and rape cases are most of the time dismiss because of poor evidence... as far as your feelings toward your stepfather my heart goes out to you... DO NOT BLAME yourself for what happened... hes a ******** a*****e .. you are a heroine because you are willing to sacrifice yourself for your adopted brothers and your boyfriend... it is JUSTIFIED to want to see that animal get hurt ... as far as your mother ... no disrespect but that is no excuse to have a animal in the house! they're different ways to support a family single-handedly but the best thing i can tell you is stay as far away from him as possible... find excuses to be away from him and if he happens to follow you... all i can say is have a cell phone with you always so you can call the police... if he tries anything STUPID fight him off even if it leads to something horrible but ill tell you this if it gets that far you WILL have ENOUGH EVIDENCE to get him behind bars .... im in a similar situation so hearing something like this build fury within me because i never wish the things ive been through on my worst enemy and to hear someone going through it makes me wanna do whatever it takes to punish the person hurting them... i dont know why ive become like this ever since it happened to me....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 12:03 pm
The same thing happened to my cousin it went on for 10 years since she was 8, it just stopped last month, its never too late put a video in your room and catch everything, she wouldnt do it so i secretly did, i got this litter webcam and put it in a teddy and aimed it right at the bed i caught him having sex with her and beating her when she tried to scream do everything you can to stop him this guy is a pedphile and you dont have to live with this guilt anymore. im here for you if you neeed my support heart
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
![[Substance]abuse's avatar](https://a1cdn.gaiaonline.com/dress-up/avatar/ava/82/69/d74eb21336982_flip.png?t=1174347402_3.00_10)