|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:31 am
I split up with my husband in November. For the last couple of months we have been working things out and had said we were getting back together. even talked about moving back in together and what we wanted from the future. I have totally fallen in love with him all over again.
Now the messy bit.
He has had this 'friend' and I have always felt that there was more oing on there than he was letting on. We are in the UK and on friday I took him to the airport to go to America to visit this friend. I'm not proud of raiding his emails but I had to find out what was going on. In there was streams of stuff about how in love they were and how he had never loved me. He was telling lies to her about what was going on with us and saying he wanted to spend his life with her.
Obviously I then sent him some very carefully worded emails!
He has said something is going on but it isn't what I think and that he isn't actually in love with her but she thinks he is and he can't talk to me about it while she is around.
I know that i should tell him in no uncertain words that I want nothing to do with him but I can feel myself considering being with him still - and that is so stupid!
Does anyone have any advice because right now I am a mess and have no idea what to do. It will be another 2 weeks before I even get to talk to him properly to find out what is going on. But he has been lying to me for so long I don't know if I will be able to believe what he says when he gets back anyway.
ARGH!!!!
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:41 pm
Something to keep in mind is that cheaters love themselves the most out of anyone else and will do anything they can to keep themselves happy. It's not about whether he loves you or this other woman the most or if at all, it's all about him.
So if you want a man who is obviously lying to you and lying to this other woman so he can have his cake and eat it too, well, that's really up to you to decide if that's what you want and deserve out of life.
Now if it were me, he wouldn't get a chance to come back and try to manipulate his way back in. Because I know I deserve better and would not tolerate being treated that way. We teach others how to treat us and by accepting things like being lied to and cheated on, we teach them it's OK to do it.
I know you love him and it's hard, but you have to decide just how much you love and respect yourself and if getting back with him is consistent with that. He's said he doesn't love you and he doesn't act like he does: he definitely doesn't respect you. You can do way better then what you're getting.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:19 pm
Oh, bad situation hun. He certainly doesn't respect ya'll's potential rlationship enough or you for that matter to tell the truth, not to mentiont to stay away from his "friend" and devote his energies to you two.
I've been in the position of being cheated on, and there's no way I've ever forgiven it. I know how I should be treated, and how every woman should be treated; if nothing with respect. And he obviously doesn't respect you.
He'll just keep lying to you as long as he thinks you'll accept it and he can get away with it. He's lying about everything to cover up his lies with you and his "friend".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:29 pm
Pirate Dirge Something to keep in mind is that cheaters love themselves the most out of anyone else and will do anything they can to keep themselves happy. It's not about whether he loves you or this other woman the most or if at all, it's all about him.
So if you want a man who is obviously lying to you and lying to this other woman so he can have his cake and eat it too, well, that's really up to you to decide if that's what you want and deserve out of life.
Now if it were me, he wouldn't get a chance to come back and try to manipulate his way back in. Because I know I deserve better and would not tolerate being treated that way. We teach others how to treat us and by accepting things like being lied to and cheated on, we teach them it's OK to do it.
I know you love him and it's hard, but you have to decide just how much you love and respect yourself and if getting back with him is consistent with that. He's said he doesn't love you and he doesn't act like he does: he definitely doesn't respect you. You can do way better then what you're getting. Agreed. The thing about cheaters as well, is that they'll say and justify just about anything to turn the attention off of themselves. He said he can't even talk to you while ANOTHER woman he is CHEATING with is around? That tells me that he obviously doesn't care about you or the relationship, just himself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 1:35 am
Thank you everyone...
I think you have helped to clarify what I already knew deep down I ought to do.
Just needed an outside perspective so I would stop making excuses for what he has been doing.
sad
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
