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 Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 6:07 pm
Heylo! I'll start off first by saying, This may be a bit long and I might repeat my self once or twice. I tend to do that. And For a 13 year old, does being Loli sound strange? Since I can't really be one in real life, I thought Gaia could allow me to really beo ne. But there is barely anything Loli-ish or What-not.
N'kay then- I need to debate on whether to be a loli or not. Where I go to school and live, Different is bad. Only people in the 9th grade, a maximum of 4 of them, dress strange. And it's not even Loli! People call me 'poser' and 'freak'. I don't care and usually get back up from my friends. <3
My School has 4 main social groups- Preps, Dorks, Punks, And 'The Others'. My friends and I, We are 'The Others.' Preps rule the school and 8 of us are the kids who don't belong. But on to the point of my conversation.
My mother thinks that I should not act like such a 'rude little girl'. But I can't help it that she doesn't understand me! She buys me all these preppy clothes and such and it nearly kills me. My little sister is a prep and she tries to pose as a punk. It's not working. Argh! I'm sidetracking again!!! My mother would never in a million years accept that a thirteen year old girl like my self should be walking around like a glass doll. She hates the idea.
I want to Loli up some of my jeans and pinstripes. I have two skirts that are Loli-ish. One is a peticoat skirt much like the Dollie skirt here on gaia. But it's compleatly white. The other is right above the knees, peticoat style too, and has a blue layer underneath. Theres a HUGE rip in it and I can'tfix it, I tried safety pins. My mom almost slapped me because they're vintage..
To sum things up, My world rejects people like me and tries to alter our way of life. I think that Sucks. I also have a somewhat low self-esteem so I don't know how I would take the remarks. I just feel like I should flow into being just another face in the crowd..Help me ><;; I have long since gotten over that crap right above me. So..Yeah. xD Oh if you can't read it, it says a whole bunch of crap like how the world hates me, etc. I was emo that day. x]
Stupid Shakespere refrence. Makes it all sound exciting. Pah. I was so naive ( I have no idea if I even spelled that right. XD ) Further more, My mom also accepted it. I'm a loser and I should rant in my journal. I need to shut up now. Wait..
I LUBB JOO. <3
If one is unnoticed in the world, how will one change it? xD Don't mind that. My friend came up with that little thing. Sound like is could be something from AiW.
Summary: I have since learned that I shouldn't care and that was a stupid thing to post anyway. Prepare for world domination! <33
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:09 pm
[color=green]No meaning to be rude, but if you want to dress lolita that badly why would you care what anybody says anyway?
It's just stupid.
It's not a matter of not belonging it's being you. Just because you dont 'belong' doesn't mean you have to always be upset and not be able to be you and have to look and dress different.
You're mother may not like it but no matter what you're you anyway. Instead of figthing with her why dont you sit and talk to her.
You're "world" doesn't reject you, you let yourself and help it be rejected. It doesn't suck, you just need to realize that you're not going to look like everybody else and just because you dont prance around with a huge handbag doesn't mean all of a sudden you're rejected. Do what you want, it's your body and in the end it's just YOU
Ps: You're not the others. If you are and think about it some, then you are just another face in some sort of crowd
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Posted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:43 pm
If I were you, I'd just say to mom 'well, at least I'm not dressing in some skimpy, barely there, trailer trash, hooker on a corner outfit with my butt cleavage showing to the whole world and looking like I've been with at least fifty guys in the past four days." But... That's just me... As for your mom being pissed about the skirt getting riped.. Well.. I'd be pissed too if a vinatge skirt got ripped. But not that pissed. And I'm sure you can find some way to fix it. If you pm me a pic of the tear I might be able to help you.
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:47 am
Well ... I'm not sure how accurate my advice will be, since my personality is almost opposite of yours, but here goes.
Firstly, no one really wants to be just another part of the crowd. Being a sheep is boring and pathetic. And actually, we are all different, so being like everyone else is just impossible.
Secondly, you shouldn't listen to people. Half the time, they're talking crap, and the other half, they don't care if you live or die. But that's just the general population. I say, once your friends get it somewhat, and still support you, then okay. Why should you need the approval of people who aren't your friends?
Thirdly, explain to your mother how you feel. And if that doesn't work, and you really want to be loli, go on doing it. About the dress thing, perhaps learn how to sew a bit? I'm not a master at it [Jesus no] but I can do like patch jobs and stuff.
Finally ... ******** Society. Ah. I should have censored that a bit, but that's how I feel. I come off as strange to many many people. But I don't care. It's my body and my style. I know people judge me, and I'm probably going to called a poser all my life but I don't care. [when's the last time you've seen a black girl who likes to dress loli and somewhat punk-ish? It's weird, even for me sometimes]
And you know, eventually you'll change schools. You'll even move away. Don't let people define the rest of your life, especially since most of your life happens after school has ended.
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:12 pm
Thanks you guys, I guess it's just the way I've been treated my whole life. My family doesn't really understand my way of life and last time I tried to say somthing about it I got grounded! I thought that was dumb as hell. I feel like an outsider and such. But, then again, I have been a bit strange for most of my life. -_-
On occasion I do dress somewhat Loli and I get alot of remarks and stuff. Since kindergarten, people thought I was weird and never really talked to me because even then I was all about the Anime and Difference..
Then After my 'Halloween Party Incident' [Let's just say I was invited and the only one therei n a costume, it was okay untill all the 10th grade boys decided to dump the punch bowl on me, tripped me and then ripped the skirt off of my Ultra expensive Loli dress I had saved up to buy..Then everything went sorta bad.] Everyone started calling me horrible things and I guess I never really got over it. I should though, It'd probably make things a s**t load better.
Atleast I'm the only original person in my city..>>;; That makes me feel a bit better. And why the hell am I still going on about this?! Dammit, that felt good. ^__^ xD Some one kill my noobish posts. <3
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:01 pm
=O
First of all...
your "world" consists of labels, and you should let that go. =)
It's a very sad way to look at things, to me. >.<
My sister always talks like that and I don't understand what she means half the time. =x "Blah, Blah, Blah...Preppies this, Preppies that...
So-and-so is kind of starting to be popular...blah blah blah...
she has popular friend..."
Ahah. =O Pardon me.
Anyway, like stalebreadcrums said, why would you care what anybodt says, or thinks, or anything. If you wanted to dress lolita so badly it wouldn't bother you what other people think. =) I say...just do it. xD
Yes, and please excuse me for not being so helpful. )=
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 7:53 pm
I have a similar situation with my mother, and that I still haven't solved, but I will get to that later.
If someone throws a rude comment your way, I find the best thing to do is laugh at them. Yes, it sounds a bit odd, but point and laugh at them. They will get confused. I don't know if it will work for you, but try it.
Then if people lable you, as a freak or a weirdo, take pride in it! You are diffrent than them, thank goodness!
As for the problem with your mother, I'm also struggling with mine, but here are some helpful hints, I hope.
-Introduce a little loli into everyday wear. A little lace here, a little lace there. Bring up the subject of loli whenever possible. Get your family use to it.
- Talking with my parents never worked for me, my mother has no open mind what-so-ever! I don't know about your family though, so try it. It never hurts to try.
- Don't give in! Keep fighting! You may get grounded for years, but keep fighting, it depends on how much you love lolita!
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Posted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:12 pm
First of all, you are certainly not alone in this. Feeling different, like an outcast, misunderstood, this has been common with humanity in general as not everyone is open minded and usually have difficulty readily accepting what isn't the established norm in the community. (I hope my words aren't getting too complicated to understand)
I really feel for you that you were treated so badly by your peers, but as they say, what doesn't break you only makes you stronger. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being interested in things that aren't "popular" or common with the average masses that live in your city. To be so simple minded and restrict yourself to labels is to be ignorant for the rest of your life. There are an infinite amount of things to see and do in this world, why box yourself in under one mold pre-set by those around you?
You are only 13. You have a lot more years filled with diverse experiences that await you. Don't get too discouraged about the way things are right now. The early teen years are a confusing time for everyone where most people start finding their identities and questioning what makes you you. It's an awkward time to say the least.
Just make sure that no matter what happens, you won't take it too seriously. You don't necessarily need to laugh out loud when rude remarks come your way, and definitely don't act hostile in return, just take it and let it slide. Rude words are such trivial things. They only prove that people are idiotic, and you do not have to be one of them. You can be a much better person as long as you stay true to your heart.
I've babbled enough and I'm not sure any of it makes any sense whatsoever. I hope I've been at least some help. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:35 am
Honey, I agree a lot with what Yuki said, it's good advice. in addition to that I would like to give you the best advice that I can offer:
While you may think it's completely unfair that people talk smack and your mother doesn't approve, it's really not something you should worry about at your age.
Really the most productive thing that you can do with your time right now is SAVE YOUR MONEY! Just accept the clothes your mother gives you with a smile, adjust them a bit to your liking if you must. Seriously if you really want to avoid any headaches then spend your adolesence defining the inner you and not the outer. There are plenty of loli things you can do besides dressing all out lolita.
I've found that it's best to stay in the good graces of those you are forced to live with until you can move out. That is why I say to let your mom think she's won this one.
We get threads like this all the time, mom doesn't understand and the kids at school don't accept it. So this time I'm gonna skip the babble of trying to reason with your mother, because chances are you already tried it and it didn't work. Kids are cruel, that's all there is to that.
I was blessed to have a mother that let me express myself through clothing but at the same time I have had a very unforgiving mother. But not living at home has enabled me to do as I please. School I would wear whatever I wanted and if someone had something to say about it I would ignore it. now I walk the busy streets without a care in the world.
So yea, my best advice to you is to just go with the flow minding your own while reading wonderful victorian books, improve on your embriodery skills, refining your lolita mind until you can move out and totally splurge on Lolita clothes with some of that money I told you to save up! cause seriously, you're only 13, you may grow out of this and that would be such a waste.
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Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:38 am
Also you should read the book Kamikaze Girls. It'll give you a nice perspective on living lolita.
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Posted: Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:53 pm
EGL Goddess Also you should read the book Kamikaze Girls. It'll give you a nice perspective on living lolita. There's a book? I'm guessing you've heard of the movie, Kamikaze Girls. Is the book based off the movie or vise versa? The movie was good...but not really based on the life of a lolita... Just wondering... sweatdrop heart domokun
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 3:20 am
Ryukyu~Bath EGL Goddess Also you should read the book Kamikaze Girls. It'll give you a nice perspective on living lolita. There's a book? I'm guessing you've heard of the movie, Kamikaze Girls. Is the book based off the movie or vise versa? The movie was good...but not really based on the life of a lolita... Just wondering... sweatdrop heart domokun Movie is based on the book. The author of the book, Novala Takemoto, is a lolita lifestyle icon in the same sense as Mana is the icon for lolita clothing and beauty. Novala-sensei has posed in the bibles many times and he has also designed clothes for Baby, the Stars Shine Bright.
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:30 pm
First off, no your age is not strange. I am only 12 years old, and I have been a Lolita for almost a year.
I have worn my outfits to school, and sure, I get rude remarks about them, but to my surprise, many people find them fascinating.
And why exactly should I care what they think? I worked hard to make my clothes and save up for them as well, their American Eagle camisole has nothing on my Baby, The Stars Shine Bright jumper skirt.
Sometimes parents have a hard time comprehending that their children wish to be an individual. You shouldn't wear the so-called "preppy" clothes your mother buys for you if you do not like them. That is just letting her control you more.
If you are out with your friends, buy some fabric or something and make something Lolita-esque. If you don't know how to sew, buy a book! It is simple and the basics are easy to learn.
I hope everthing works well...
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 7:15 pm
Agreeing with .Le Petit Ecolier. you should let the labeling thing go. Just think of them as people. That's what they are. And who knows, they may be in the same boat as you. Desperately wanting to be the way they want to but unable to because of social steriotypes or the "higher power" in their life. And maybe, if you step out and be yourself they will do the same.
Who cares what other people think. The only person who's opinion matters is yours because it is yourself who we are talking about. Only you has the right to say who you are.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 11:36 pm
hui_lai_lee Ryukyu~Bath EGL Goddess Also you should read the book Kamikaze Girls. It'll give you a nice perspective on living lolita. There's a book? I'm guessing you've heard of the movie, Kamikaze Girls. Is the book based off the movie or vise versa? The movie was good...but not really based on the life of a lolita... Just wondering... sweatdrop heart domokun Movie is based on the book. The author of the book, Novala Takemoto, is a lolita lifestyle icon in the same sense as Mana is the icon for lolita clothing and beauty. Novala-sensei has posed in the bibles many times and he has also designed clothes for Baby, the Stars Shine Bright. Also while the story is fictional, Mr. Takemoto has lived the life and put many of his own experiences into his writing. There is a book the the movie and manga are based on. The book goes deeper into the lifestyle while the manga goes more with the movie which isn't so far off from the book.
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