[to a room full of dead corpses, after Holly Gribbs was frightened into hysterics]
Gil Grissom: You assholes!
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Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was MY line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
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Catherine Willows: You're right, you know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?
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[upon finding an insect on the victim's clothes]
Gil Grissom: It's a carpet beetle. It shouldn't be here.
Catherine Willows: The vic seem more like a hardwood floors kind of guy to you?
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Gil Grissom: A girl... in a culvert pipe... at a highway construction site... in the middle of an alfalfa field...
[turns to Brass]
Gil Grissom: You got anything to add?
Captain Jim Brass: Nothing as poetic.
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[to Grissom upon seeing a bug]
Catherine Willows: Hey, look at that. Your six-legged soul mate.
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[Later in the lab]
Sara Sidle: You made my pickle into a light bulb?
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[after Gil Grissom lights up a pickle in the lab]
Gil Grissom: You know this is how I cooked my hot dogs in college.
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[after witnessing a child ignoring her mother]
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine] My mother may have been deaf but she was still the boss
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Gil Grissom: You wanted to work solo.
Nick Stokes: Yeah, but it's like Night of the Pifflings out there and I'm on a smash and grab.
Gil Grissom: Pifflings?
Nick Stokes: Puffin offspring. First time out of the nest every year they crash land in this town near Iceland because they are attracted to the lights of human civilization. It's the same way people flock to Vegas for a fight.
[For a moment, GRISSOM stares a NICK. Then his face lights up as though he's finally figured it out]
Gil Grissom: Animal Planet.
[GRISSOM turns and walks down the hallway]
Nick Stokes: [calls out] How come when you talk about bugs everyone says you're a genius but when I talk about birds everyone says I watch too much television?
Gil Grissom: I don't know. Look, the next night of the pifflings you get the first dead body.
Sorry it's so long...there are so many that I like. Left out most of them. Here's a sight for more if you want them:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0247082/quotes 
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