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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:24 pm
What's ur guys opinions on a highschool dating relationship? Do u support it or no? or what's ur view? i'm not taking any sides, cuz i'm not 100% sure myself...just wondering what u think.... ~Lilly
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:34 pm
Well, the way I see it, unless you're looking for your soulmate (the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with) I say no dating yet. Because there is no purpose behind it. If you aren't ready for marriage, you aren't ready for dating yet.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:37 pm
I personally, don't think it's a very good idea to date in high school. People rarely stay together after high school. And most people aren't fully matured. There are some great christian bands out there that encourage teen girls to wait, and to be modest. I think that's what god wants us to do too. 3nodding heart
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:39 pm
newsgirl3664 I personally, don't think it's a very good idea to date in high school. People rarely stay together after high school. And most people aren't fully matured. There are some great christian bands out there that encourage teen girls to wait, and to be modest. I think that's what god wants us to do too. 3nodding heart I believe that's what God wants too 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 10:14 am
Mako18 Well, the way I see it, unless you're looking for your soulmate (the one you are going to spend the rest of your life with) I say no dating yet. Because there is no purpose behind it. If you aren't ready for marriage, you aren't ready for dating yet. I totally agree. Dating really should be a tool for finding your permanant mate, not a temporary partner. Unfortunately the worldly nature of our society thinks otherwise and so confuses even christians sometimes.
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 10:17 am
I dont mean to bash you guys, we all friends here but i think dating is fine. as long as it doesnt go too far... (If you kno wat i mean sweatdrop )
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 10:17 am
Dating in High school....I never really saw the point figuring that why should I get involved in a guy just to be heartbroken when he goes off to one school and I to another?
Also, look at the lenght of the average High School relationship? They don't last that long. Group dating..might be a bit different. I'm not saying that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, but that, like the others have said, the purpose of dating is finding someone to marry. People will take that and say that they have to try many different people, and they don't mean just hanging out with them.
When you're hanging out, alone, with your guy or girl natural hormones and feelings will arise, especially at High School age. These feelings can lead yo into sin.
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:24 pm
I think it's essential to your growth and maturement..? ANYWAYS, I'm not saying sex, I beleive that High School relatchionship are good because they teach how to deal with relationships now so that when you are looking for that special comeone you dont screw it up.. or something else along those lines.. Just as long as the person doesn't take it too far.
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 5:36 pm
Airtia Dating in High school....I never really saw the point figuring that why should I get involved in a guy just to be heartbroken when he goes off to one school and I to another?
Also, look at the lenght of the average High School relationship? They don't last that long. Group dating..might be a bit different. I'm not saying that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, but that, like the others have said, the purpose of dating is finding someone to marry. People will take that and say that they have to try many different people, and they don't mean just hanging out with them.
When you're hanging out, alone, with your guy or girl natural hormones and feelings will arise, especially at High School age. These feelings can lead yo into sin. So your saying Tennager don't sin? stare riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight..
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 6:29 pm
Dr_Pepper_tgns I think it's essential to your growth and maturement..? ANYWAYS, I'm not saying sex, I beleive that High School relatchionship are good because they teach how to deal with relationships now so that when you are looking for that special comeone you dont screw it up.. or something else along those lines.. Just as long as the person doesn't take it too far. Like my buddy here, I think High School Dating is alright, I suppose. I think it's really a case by case basis. I KNOW I am not ready for any type of relationship like that, because firstly I am not comfortable enough with myself to even begin to think 'Yeah, people might wanna date me.' Some high school relationships work, some don't. Just to reinterate-- I think it's a case by case basis. And so long as premartial sex in any form or dry humping or brutal tonsil wars occur *shudders thinking of people she knows* I don't see anything wwrong with two people dating. My beef is with today's definition of dating. >.o I just don't get how people a re like: Girl: Wanna go out with me? Guy: Sure. Girl: Yay! Now I have a boyfriend. And then they never do anything. >.o I pity the guy (or girl) who wants to get romantically involved with me-- I'ma be putting them through the old fashioned courting deal y0. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 7:46 pm
If you asked me 7 months ago, I would have said "no dating till college!" but I have been dating this lovely lady for a while now and have found it to be a blessing. I really do think she could be my soulmate, if our relationship lasts till after I'm out of college, I will ask her to marry me. It really depends on what is right for one's maturity level. Also, pray about it. God knows what's best for you. 3nodding
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:55 pm
The Samurai If you asked me 7 months ago, I would have said "no dating till college!" but I have been dating this lovely lady for a while now and have found it to be a blessing. I really do think she could be my soulmate, if our relationship lasts till after I'm out of college, I will ask her to marry me. It really depends on what is right for one's maturity level. Also, pray about it. God knows what's best for you. 3nodding yes, sometimes the perfect person will come into your life unexpectedly, and you'll have to go after it. It really depends...
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Posted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 10:12 pm
the whole point of dating is to find the type of person you want to marry. in my opinion, if you don't date, then you'll never really know if the person you meet is the right one that God wants you to be with. Although there are some differences in people, some people are not mature enough to date in high school while others find their soulmates there. If God leads you to be with someone and get to know them, don't deny yourself that just because you're in High School.
For further reading, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND Boundries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. God Bless!
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2004 8:49 am
I think they're fine as long as you don't take things too far, i.e. having sex. People need experience dating before they get out in the "real world", they need to learn how to make the right decissions before they have no one to lean back on.
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2004 10:28 am
It's all about protecting your heart and knowing your boundaries. God doesn't want us to get unneccessarily hurt, and alot of time, High school dating does cause us all alot of pain. Also, I've heard from countless married couples that when you find that soul mate, everything you've done, even innocent kissing, seems like you cheated on your mate. Now I'm going to try to regurgitate some sermon points, so bere with me.
The person you date in high school is someone's soul mate. That person you're kissing has a husband or wife in God's eyes, and that most likely isn't you. If you remember this, that you have a mate in God's eyes already, and this may not be them, it will give you alot more strength in purity.
My youth pastor illustates it by drawing a large circle and placing a dot in the center. the circle is God's intention for sex: A man and a woman in marriage. Anything like that (kissing etc as well) fits in the circle. This is God's ideal purity for us, but the problem is that most kids today are going: "okay, how close to the line (edge of the circle) can I get without going over it?" What we should be asking is: "how can I stay well within that circle?"
Another illutration: Draw a line on the floor, and run full speed at that line until right before you get there, and then try to stop. You go over the line, don't you? You have to have a predetermined boundary, yes, but it is almost more important to have a plan that doesn't rock you on the edge of temptation but keeps you miles away from temptation.
Okay, back to my own ideas now: They were completely right. I mean, on prom night, are you going to be thinking about how to further the kingdom of heaven when your date offers to get a room? Solution: Get a date that wouldn't offer. The one thing I strive for in all of my relationships is that they would be Christ-centered (My friend calls it cross-centric). People (teenagers especially) have the tendency to focus all of their energy on their boyfriend or girlfriend, which takes from God. I try to be very open about living for Chirst.
Here are the rules I set for myself in High School dating. Keep in mind, I'm sweet sixteen, never been kissed, never had a serious boyfriend, but I think God is protecting my heart and saving someone spectacular for me.
1) Have standards in who you date. Not looks wise or anything like that, but in who they are. My three rules are this: A: he HAS to be a Christian. I struggle with temptation, and having someone with the same views as me helps alot. B: He has to respect me. I deserve to be treated well, and if a person can't treat me in a respectable manner, they aren't worth my time. A person should be willing to listen to what you think, etc. C: My friends like him. Like it or not, friends see things you can't. Trust them when they find a serious flaw....if they care enough to bring it up to you, it's likely an important issue.
2) Have a plan. And I don't mean a contraception plan. I mean to have a set limit to what you do with them. If we are truly after God's heart, we want to stay as pure as we can. Have scripture to back you up....memorize it, so that you can recall it when temptation knocks. And it WILL knock.
3) Be willing to talk about it and on like, the first date. Just be very matter-of-fact. Tell them what you believe, why you believe it, and be sure they know that you won't be changing your mind on it. This convo is still needed when dating Christians too, though it likely will be taken much beter.
__________
I'm not condemning high school dating guys! All I'm saying is that it is a personal choice, and the challenges of purity and temptation are great. It can be very godly and very good....my parents met in high school and married at 18, two of my dearest friends have been dating since their sophomore year and will be getting married after graduation. Just pray about it and realise your own level of maturity. Some are ready to date in high school and some aren't. I wasn't a year ago, but as my faith stablized, I matured, and now I love to date.
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