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| Like My Story? |
| Yes <3 |
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92% |
[ 13 ] |
| Nope, Sorry |
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7% |
[ 1 ] |
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| Total Votes : 14 |
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 Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 11:54 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:49 pm
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Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:14 am
I like it, the rhyme really helps to give it that lonely, hopeless feeling (though the beginning of the sixth verse/paragraph is bit suspect).
I'm not sure whether this is a short story or not. I am now in a quandary.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:07 pm
Thats really awesome, I like it alot smile
Kay
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Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:06 pm
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Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 5:53 pm
I like it, but i don't really know if it's more of a poem or a story.
It's good either way, though.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:46 am
I loved that very much, despite it's suicidal dark tone.
I have one wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance wahmbulance warning to give... beware adulthood!! It's exactly the same as childhood only you have bills, your bones creak, and you'll actually ask yourself where the time of day has gone!!!
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 1:16 pm
Whoa, that's really really awesome!!
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Posted: Sat Oct 07, 2006 6:02 pm
~Nefex~ Stash away your lifestyle for the world does not approve. Throw away your dreams for never will they come true. Wipe away your tears for no one wants to see you cry. Hold your breath and count to ten. Forget your personality, it�s off to school again.
Look both ways before you cross the street. Don�t hide your face or stare at your feet. Brush back your hair it�s gone array. Smile to the friends you�ll soon betray. Kiss the lover who forgot your name. As long as you have someone there is no shame.
School bell ringing, prison wants you back. Slide into the class your failing, you�ll just continue to slack. Teachers glare for they hate this too. If only they didn�t have to put up with you.
School is over and your not going home. Get in the car, the driver�s stoned. Drive to a place where light fears to go. Pull off your clothes and forget what you know. Rough and sweaty, just close your eyes. You asked for this, your own demise.
Your home late and proud parents throw a fit. You wish they cared just a little bit. Scream and yell, tell them all to go to hell. Up to your room, your private cell. Slice the pain right off your wrists. Beat the pillow, a hit and miss. Smoke the joint mom didn�t find. It will all be okay, just give it time. Forget to sleep and don�t waste your time to eat. It�s only yourself you wish to beat.
Wake up to the hangover, you don�t know how you have. Puke in the bathroom, but all over the floor. Close the door for father doesn�t want to see anymore. Brush your teeth and take your meds. Always remember to make your bed.
Back in your room again, one last stop before you go. Pop some pills, they�ll never know. Lay down on your bed as your world begins to slow. Close your eyes and really smile. Take a moment to think awhile. Life was never your strong suit. Your existence is more or less minute.
Please comment, I'd love some feedback. Thank you very much for reading. I really really liked this and wish I could have written it first. But I marked no on your poll, because I hate it as a short story. But I uber love it as a poem ^-^
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