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 Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:49 am
Yay!
No really, I think I am. A few months before Arie and I broke up, I started to wondering about my mental gender.
I like the thought of being a guy.. When Im with a woman, I feel submissive. When Im with a man I feel dominate. I like the feeling of being submissive and I think that all men should be submissive to women, not the other way around (sorry if that sounds sexist.. but seriously, I catagorize myself with the men when it comes to this view).
I like the thought of loving a woman, and making her feel like a goodess, and making her feel loved and taken care of. Dont get me wrong, I like the thought of being taken care of too.. but I feel like I should be the knight in shining armor, saving my princess from the dragon.
Again, before Arie and I broke up (I know this is going to be too much info but I have to give my reasons, right?), I would get off on the idea of having sex with me as a man having sex with her. Hentai doesn't make me horny that much, Yaoi doesn't, Yuri does... but after I look at Yuri I always end up fantasizing about being a man with a woman.
Yesterday, I got my hair cut really really short.. and I feel like a man even more. I dunno.. Im just kinda confused right now, with all thats been going on. The good news is is that yesterday was one of my happier days, so Im not really in a 'omg..!!!' kinda mood. Just need to get some stuff out of me.
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 5:30 am
O_o A little TMI there with the yuri thing, But I can understand why you put that in.( Damn my perveted mind at that last comment! ) Anyway... I carn't realy help, i'm sure the others on here will know more... Sorry akurei. *Hugs*
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 5:33 am
It's ok. Getting a hug from you was good enough (hugs) whee
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 6:44 am
*hug* Well here's my two cnts- Gender is a continuum, you could be trans, you might not be, you could be bigendered like the pink blueberry (sorry for the namedrop, just an example) or you could be a very butch lesbian? There's nothing wrong with any of that.
Also you should learn that fantasies do not always muck up reality. I've had dreams where I was a man having sex with a woman, I've also fantasized about being a gay man.
Also I wanna cut my hair really short like one of my other lesbian friends but my girlfriend doesn't want me too. But I completely identify with women.
TMI Alert:
Ever thought about (in the future) getting a strap on? I know that some lesbians go around with one on all the time... the whole boi culture thing.
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:04 am
(giggles at the Boi thing and hugs you back) I dunno if I could do that though. I'd rather be a real man if it came to that..
And I dunno.. Im not THAT butch. Well I look butch now with the way my hair is cut and I dont wear makeup but.. I dunno. I just feel like I should have been a man. I dont have my period.. I like women..
I guess it's just one of those times where you go with the flow, huh?
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:37 pm
AkureiKnight (giggles at the Boi thing and hugs you back) I dunno if I could do that though. I'd rather be a real man if it came to that.. And I dunno.. Im not THAT butch. Well I look butch now with the way my hair is cut and I dont wear makeup but.. I dunno. I just feel like I should have been a man. I dont have my period.. I like women.. I guess it's just one of those times where you go with the flow, huh? That sounds best.
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 10:21 am
i feel the same way as you, akurei, completely. except vice versa on how i feel mentally. you eventually settle on it (I wanna be a girl sooooooooo much) and accept it, but expect to be ******** up for a while if you're thinking about ittoo much. men should be submissive
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Posted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:19 pm
Vaan Mortier i feel the same way as you, akurei, completely. except vice versa on how i feel mentally. you eventually settle on it (I wanna be a girl sooooooooo much) and accept it, but expect to be ******** up for a while if you're thinking about ittoo much. men should be submissive Well it's not really a big problem at the moment. It's just something that's been going thru my mind alot lately. So you dont have to worry about this bothering me too much. whee
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Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:37 pm
I have been going though gender probelms for years now.. As a biogirl, I have tried to identify fully with women, but I do not. I tried identifying with men which I do relate to more, but I realized I don't identify with either. 3nodding
I also apear androgenous too, nobody knows what I am anyway.
If you want you can join one of the TG guilds here to ask questions. Hope this helps.
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Posted: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:02 am
Gah. I know exactly how you feel...
I've been thinking a ton about stuff like that lately.
Sometimes, I love being girly...
Wearing mini skirts, make-up, acting really giggly, and all the other stereotypical stuff.
And then other times...
I wonder what it would be like, being a guy....
I'm sure it's totally normal to think about it sometimes...
But, still, yeah....
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I mean, I'm sure you knew that but, erm...Yeah...
-huggles- Don't worry. Everything will become clear someday. ^_^
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Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 3:10 pm
Dream Raven - Thanks, I'll see if I can take a look at some of those guilds. I think it would be something that could help me out.
A Dream - Yeah.. I like the thought of being a girl but at this time I just feel like a man completely minus the parts. I dunno why.. it's weird but you're right. Everything will work out.
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