It had been a long night already, with the sudden herald of an incoming blizzard interrupting the herd's preparations for the Yule festival. Kalani flicked an ear in irritation as his thoughts turned inward, even as the bobcat shrugged the thick rabbit pelt cloak higher onto his shoulders before settling himself on a raised stone, turning his attention to the sky. Icy blue eyes watched as the slow but steady gathering storm began to eat the stars from the sky, knowing he needed to return to the safety of the grove before the blizzard struck, but for the moment, he needed the space.
"Kal?"
Kalani started a bit as he hadn't heard anyone approaching his perch, but upon recognizing the voice, he relaxed again, turning his head to the young mare who padded from the darkness to stand beside him. "What are you doing out here, Little Star?"
Ciara didn't hesitate to drop her head and nuzzle the bobcat affectionately, making a soft little noise of comfort and affection, "Looking for you, of course. What are you doing out here? There is a storm coming, Kal. We needed to return to the grove before it hits."
He couldn't help but chuckle, even as a rough purr filled his chest as he rubbed his face along hers, marking her with his scent. Oh, she was such a sweet little filly, kind and gentle with all, an open heart and dreaming mind that loved to make beautiful things for those around her. She reminded him of another young kitsune, or rather, how he had been before he learned the truth of his sire, before anger took his boy's sweetness.
Sighing, he looked back up at the sky before answering, "I know Little Star and I will. I just...this Yule has been harder on me than those past. I..." The words stuck in his throat, making him swallow several times before he could go on, ears pressed out flat in misery.
Crooning softly in comfort, Ciara nuzzled Kalani again, nudging the bobcat to come down off the rock before she lay down, making space for him in the curve of her body before she curled her tails around him, creating a shield between him and the outside world, something that made the older male sob faintly as he pressed himself against her as he finally broke down, giving into the grief that had lived in his heart for so long now. His tears and soft cries alarmed her, but Ciara made no move to try and stop him, only kept him close as she sang softly the lullabies her da and daddy had sung over her basket and in the den when she and Sheridan were foals.
After what seemed like hours, but in truth was only a few minutes, Kalani shuddered with a soft, hiccupping groan, feeling wrung out but at the same time oddly lighter. "Sorry about that, I..."
"Shh, there is no need for apologies between us, Kal." Ciara's smile was soft and loving as she gazed at him. "You have been my most loyal friend and teacher. If I can provide you with even a bit of comfort, then what's a little slobber between us?" She teasingly licked his ear, making him laugh as she had often done so as a foal, leaving his fur stuck up at odd angles.
"Alright, sweetheart, thank you."
"Can you tell me what caused you such distress? If you are not able to speak of it, then that is fine, but if you wish, I am here to listen."
Taking a deep shuddering breath, Kal nodded, "I don't want to, but it is Yule. If there is any day that I should, it is today." Settling more into the warmth provided by her thick tails, the bobcat began his tale.
"Long before, when you were still a wish in your father's hearts, I was bonded."
Ciara's ears went straight up in alarm as she knew that the bond between a caraidean and their companion was soul deep, yet she had never seen anyone with Kalani. To be separated from them must...oh... It hit her who he must mean even as Kalani nodded.
"His name was Aodhfin, clan Potter, son of Moina and Harri. He was one of the first foals born to the herd. Such a silly cub he was, all paws and tails." He chuckled sadly, thinking about the goofy colt he had known and loved. "He was such a sweet boy, loving to all he met. At least when he was a colt."
"What...what happened?" Where was he, she wanted to ask, but given what Kal had said about Yule being the right time to talk about him, it gave her heart a painful squeeze. Yule was a time to celebrate the end of one year and the start of another, to honor those who had left this life.
"Aod and his siblings' true sire is a monster, and when they found out the truth of their birth, well, it changed all of them. Aod became angry at the world, obsessed with ending the stallion that sired them...he went in search of Bolton and never returned. All we ever found was a bloody glade and the tracks of wolves and a shifter." Kal couldn't help but whine softly. His boy, his beloved bonded, had likely died a violent and painful death so close to home, to help.
"Oh, Kal, I am so sorry." Ciara pressed her nose to Kalani's side, holding him close as best she could as the tears came again.
"I haven't wanted to admit it, but it's been so long...He's gone," Kalani sobbed again, breaking down once more. "Our bond is gone." It hurt almost as much as the emptiness that had once filled him with purpose.
"I would make the pledge with you, Kalani."
That startled him enough that his head snapped up to look at her in shock his jaw hanging open. Ciara smiled at him, her expression both sad and loving, "I would never assume I could replace Aod in your heart, but if you would be willing, I would gladly make the pledge with you, Kal. You have been my friend and my teacher my whole life. To bond with you would bring me great joy."
For a long moment, he was speechless before a soft look came over his face, pressing his forehead back to her side, "Oh, Little Star, your heart is too good for this old man."
Laughing, Ciara nuzzled him, "Nonsense, it just means you are now stuck with me!" She knew it wouldn't be an instant or easy change for the bobcat, but she hoped he would be willing to try.
"Let me think about it, alright, little one?"
"Of course, but come, we must go back. I can feel the storm." Her breath was starting to fog in the air around them while he was still tucked in the protective warmth of her tails.
Nodding, Kalani moved so she could get to her feet, and the two headed back to the grove. He paused for only a moment to look back into the darkness, murmuring one last time, "Goodbye Aod...may the ancestors hold you until we meet in the ever after."
(FWC: 1.219)
