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Backdated to June


Sleet Tempest Snape
Liam liked to keep up with Aloysius’ team because they were his partner's team, and they meant something to him, never mind the fact Liam cared far too much. It was why he’d noticed the lack of communication from Sakura, now that things had calmed down and his spouse could see again, Liam had noticed the distinct lack of…anything from Sakura. She didn’t reach out or return calls or anything. That in mind he’d decided to take matters into his own hands by mirror walking his way right into her home, with food in hand, as he called out for her.

Powering down as he stood by the front door, a stack of tupperwares in his hands, the blond was hoping she was home so he could check on her - make sure she was ok. He also wanted to make sure she was eating, but figured it might be rude to go snooping about the fridge on her.


Sakura had been ignoring her phone, having outright turned it off after a while. She lay curled up pathetically on her bed, staring blankly into nothingness. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her hair was down and splayed everywhere, and she looked like a wreck. A heartbroken wreck.

She heard Liam call out to her but didn't respond, holding her pillow just a little tighter. Maybe if she was quiet enough, he would go away? Then again, he did know what room was hers, and the door was open, so she doubted he would leave without actively checking on her. Still, she did not answer him. Everything hurt too much.

Sleet Tempest Snape
Liam also wasn’t the sort to back down from things, to leave people who were in need, he was rather like a dog in how loyal he was. So without a response he went to set the tupperware down on the kitchen table before he went to search for Skuara, assuming she was likely home seeing as she wasn’t active in any way.

“Sakura.” Finally spotting the lump of a person on the bed, in her room. “Something happened…” He didn’t ask, he didn’t think he needed to, it was obvious something had happened. She looked a wreck and he didn’t even need to see her face. Something had happened, it was just a matter of what. Running his fingers through his hair the blond made his way into the bedroom, because she needed him and that came before asking permission to just enter her room. Seating himself on the edge of the bed he reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder.


Sakura moved slowly, only enough to just lift her head and look up at him. When she spoke, her voice sounded raw, as if she had been crying for days. “Hi….”

The vibrant spark within her eyes was gone, looking much the same as she did when she first was brought into the family. She looked as if she had given up on everything, as if the world could be consumed by another Calamitous Hollow and she would not care. “I worried you…..sorry….”


Sleet Tempest Snape
“Don’t be sorry, I worry over everyone on Aloysius’ team.” And he worried about him the most, had cared for him the longest and always would. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just concerned and would like to make sure you’re ok. If not, is there anything I can help with, I brought food.” Pre-made meals she’d just need to heat up. He’d made a few options,so she wouldn’t be eating the same thing for every meal. He’d taken his time and made sure she’d have a full and properly balanced meal.

“Why don’t you get up and take a shower, I’ll sit on the toilet seat while you tell me what’s going on. Then, once you’re dressed in something comfortable you can get something to eat and I’ll make some tea, or hot chocolate.”


“I'm not……I'm not okay at all….” Sakura curled in on herself as a few years rolled down her face. Liam was so sweet, so kind, she didn't want to burden him with this. But at the same time, she knew she needed someone.

Taking a deep breath, Sakura nodded and forced herself to sit up as she rubbed at her face. She knew she looked like a wreck, knew her hair and face were a mess, but she also knew that Liam wouldn't judge her. “You're so sweet….you really really are. Aloy is so lucky to have someone like you.” The smile she gave him was the most heartbreaking expression she had ever made, both loving and devastated all at once.

“Right then….bathroom.” She wasn't entirely sure she would be able to stand on her own, but she forced herself to her feet anyways, swaying a little once she was standing.

Sleet Tempest Snape
“I think he once said I’m like a puppy dog.” He stated with a rolling of his blue eyes, and maybe Aloysius was right, did it matter if he was though? It wasn’t a bad thing, not in Liam’s opinion at any rate, he was perfectly fine with how he was. He knew he was too damn loyal, he’d known that for a long time, but he had been learning to watch who he let himself get close to…who he let in, because he knew if he got attached to the wrong people he’d wind up loyal to the wrong sort. It was just how he was - loyal.

Standing as well he moved to help her. “Yeah, bathroom and I’ll stay incase you need help staying on your feet, plus you can tell me everything then.” Because she needn’t worry about him. He wasn’t interested. Actually he was fairly certain he wouldn’t find anyone else interesting really, at least he didn’t think so. He’d never thought of dating, much less anything else, till Aloysius. He’d spent his high school years avoiding people, he didn’t want people knowing his situation and he didn’t want their pity, but then Aloysius had come along…sort of anyway.

He’d never looked or thought of anyone else before or after….so he really didn’t know, he didn’t think so though. He figured he was safe.


“Mm. You are. Like a golden retriever in the best of ways.” Her smile was still sad, and she rested a hand on his shoulder to keep herself steady as she walked. She didn't mind his presence as she stripped down, having thought of him as a brother and nothing beyond. Her skin was smooth and unmarked, save for a fairly recent addition of a branch of Cherry blossoms on her shoulder blade, though it could only be seen here and there from under her loose hair.

Carefully turning the water on, Sakura stepped into the shower and sighed, letting the water just run down her body. “I really am sorry for worrying you…..this is the first time I've left that room all week…” Her voice sounded despondent and she didn't look at him as she spoke, feeling ashamed.

Sleet Tempest Snape
“So I’ve been told.” Shrugging as he spoke, not at all bothered by it. It was simply a way of someone saying he was loyal, and he knew he was, he knew he was too loyal…but she didn’t know that. Others did, Melody and Aloysius, they knew it was a flaw of his and he knew it too…but he also couldn’t fight it. He was best to avoid connecting to people but this, this right here, was unavoidable. She was a part of his spouses team and so he was close to her and she needed help - he’d be here for her.

“So you haven’t left to get food…at all? What about water or anything to drink?” Already thinking of how unhealthy that all was, and ways to help her recover from that. “It’s a good thing I have food in your fridge now. But I can make you some tea and we can get some liquid iv into a water bottle for you as well. You could likely benefit from some extra hydration.” Thinking over anything else, vitamins and powders, he could get her to take in to help Liam sat on the toilet seat as she washed up.

“We can go out for food if you want as well.”


Stepping under the spray of water, Sakura let it wash over her for a moment before she started on her hair. “No….I haven't really bothered. Didn't really care, I guess.” Her voice sounded hollow as she spoke quietly.

Her movements as she washed herself were mechanical, going through the motions without caring or thinking. When she spoke again, it sounded hollow and broken. “Ei and I broke up……and…..it hit me so much harder than I ever thought it could….” Her arms wrapped around herself, as if she was desperately trying to hold herself together. “I never wanted to ever feel pain like this….it feels like someone ripped my heart right from my chest….” Because to her, Ei had been everything, her reason to keep going. And now? Now she felt empty and lifeless. Like it was all for nothing.

Sleet Tempest Snape
Keeping his eyes diverted, giving her the privacy she deserved, Liam shook his head more to himself than to her. That wasn’t good to hear, none of that was, she needed to take better care of herself. He understood being upset over something, over the loss of things, but it was still good to think of yourself and not let other outside things ruin your own life and health.

“Ei, was that the one you wanted me to meet…right?” He questioned, taking into account her voice. He’d let Aloysius know about this when he got home, and perhaps Desiree, it would be best if they both knew what was going on with Ako. She wasn’t just part of the team but he knew they both cared about her. It was best they knew, especially so they could keep an eye on her and make sure she was safer if and when she went out at night.


A bitter, hollow laugh escaped her and she wiped at tears that had started rolling down her cheeks again, mixing with the shower water on her face. “Yeah…. it's almost funny. I had been so so goddamn scared to tell her I loved her. So terrified that if I did, it would all go wrong. And it looks like I was right. I said it and then everything went wrong after…..”

Her shoulders shook with a quiet sob and she wiped at her face more. “Why did I think it would work? Why did I think I could be happy with her? What the hell is wrong with me, Liam?” She looked over at him, pain written as clear as neon lights.

Sleet Tempest Snape
“Nothing is wrong, you’re allowed to think things will work out. But you told her that, those few words, and she freaked out and left you?” He knew those words could be a lot for someone to take in, strong words with a lot of meaning to them, they could scare a person and he knew it. He’d never been scared of them himself but he had worried when using them with Aloysius in the beginning. He understood how some people might not handle them well.

“This just means you need time to heal, to focus on yourself, and get back on your feet.”


“No. No, it wasn't because of that. But…..maybe if I had never said it, I wouldn't have ruined it all. Maybe if I hadn't let my guard down, if I'd been better, kept all the ugliness inside, she would still be here…” She sounded so broken, so much like she had that first night Liam had met her, so broken and empty inside. “I feel like maybe I'm not capable of being loved….”

As the last of the soap rinsed down the drain, she reached over and turned the water off before just sitting on the edge of the tub. “I don't remember what happened to me prior to meeting Aloysius, prior to coming here. All I have is a journal that helps fill in the gaps. But ….if the journal is to be believed, then this isn't the first time I've been hurt like this. And maybe that's why it hurts so much worse….and why this pain feels so familiar…”

Sleet Tempest Snape
“Maybe, or maybe it was not meant to last. If it ended now….perhaps it would have ended eventually anyway, something said…or done. Hiding yourself can only last so long, it’s not something you do in relationships.” And so things were bound to come out and he figured it might as well be sooner rather than later, when you were too attached to the other person. He’d not mentioned his birth mother, and her family, right away to Aloysius but Melody had known and had helped him. He’d told his partner later, of course he had, but the other had known about his life and how he’d grown up. He hadn’t hidden it from the musician, even though he was good at hiding things and keeping secrets, he didn’t believe in hiding things when in a relationship.

“I never thought I was either, that or I just didn’t want to be loved, I didn’t want anyone knowing how I was living - I didn’t want pity.” He didn’t want a lot of things back then, he still didn’t want pity from anyone. He’d survived and done well, he was thriving even.

“That may be. But perhaps it’s time to heal yourself, properly, and work on yourself and learn to put yourself first. Then try again…once you’ve learned to have a good relationship with yourself. After all, you’re still finding who you are now that you’ve changed sides - that takes time.” It took time to become a new person, to learn who you now were, perhaps she needed the time for herself first…then someone else could come into the picture. She’d have a better sense of self which would mean more confidence and more. It sounded right to him anyway.


“Maybe…” She sighed and stared at the bottom of the tub. “I just…..I feel like there's something wrong with me, Liam. Like no matter how hard I try to be happy, it'll just crumble again.” She rubbed her face and looked over her shoulder at him, dark circles sitting heavily beneath the once vibrant caramel of her eyes.

Sighing again, she grabbed a towel and made herself get up, swaying on her feet a little as she stepped over the edge of the tub. When was the last time she actually properly ate something? She couldn't remember, truthfully.

“Regardless…. I'm sorry for worrying you. I never meant to. I know you've got enough going on as it is without me adding to it.” Liam was sweet. Always so sweet and caring. She hated knowing that she added any sort of stress or worry to his life.

Sleet Tempest Snape
“I never even wanted to try and date, I never did in high school, I avoided everyone infact. I didn’t want pity or to have people know anything about me.” He’d wanted to avoid certain conversations, to avoid them rejecting him once they knew he was an orphan. “Sometimes you need to risk it though, I found that out.” Because Aloysius had accepted him, despite it all, it hadn’t made the other leave him, or think less of him. It had all worked out. “Sometimes the risk is worth it…even if it doesn’t work it might the next time.”

Moving to help her, just incase, as he’d noticed how she seemed off balance. “Easy, I got you. Let’s get you some food.” Because she needed to eat, and to drink, she just needed to take care of herself.


Hesitating for a moment, Sakura allowed herself to lean against Liam, murmuring a quiet thank you as he helped her back to her room with the towel around her. “I…. I hate that I'm learning how to be a basic human being all over again. I hate it so much… There's this empty feeling inside me, like I should know how to do all of this but it's all just gone. It's so frustrating….” She mindlessly grabbed for clean clothes, opting just for a t shirt and shorts without much care for what ones she put on.

“I feel like when I first moved here… raw and ugly and full of grief I don't understand. And guilt for worrying people…” She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her feet. “I don't want to worry anyone. I don't want to cause trouble or stress for anyone. But…. I also don't want to hurt like this. It feels awful…I wish I could forget everything all over again…. Or maybe just forget her.” She knew, however, that it didn't work that way, no matter how much she wished. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and she bitterly wiped them away. “When is it going to stop hurting?”

Sleet Tempest Snape
“I can’t imagine what that’s like. I never had to learn to be human again…though I did have to learn how to live a normal life, to be a little less shut in, to explore things I couldn’t before.” And to indulge in some things, like fresh fruits, he’d had to learn how to do a whole lot of things. Melody had been on the receiving end of his curiosity when it came to food, often being around when he ordered food from various places, as she was subjected to all manner of food that he wanted to try.

“It sounds like I imagine changing sides does…perhaps you should find others who changed sides and talk to them.” Reaching out he laid his hand on her shoulder. “You are allowed to worry people, it means they care, and you are allowed to hurt - it’s part of being human. And trust me…memories are important…to give them up. It takes a lot.” To willingly give them up, and then to mention wanting to do it again, it was a lot to take in because it was a heavy topic.

“I don’t know, I wish I could help you with that. I’ve never been in a relationship till Aloysius. If you want to talk to someone, help, we can arrange it. Or see if Aloysius can find another officer who changes sides…who went through the memory thing and the rebuilding.” He was sure Aloysius would help find someone, anyone, she needed in order to help her. He knew his partner.


Sakura leaned into his hand just a little, not realizing just how desperately she craved the comfort and reassurance of human touch. “Learning everything all over again is…frustrating. Sometimes there's this little itch of nostalgia that makes me wonder if I'd been in a situation before, but then it passes and I flounder all over again. I….might not remember it all, but I know that pain drove me to cast it all aside before. That I hurt so deeply that the only way out I could see was to forget.” She sighed softly and shook her head. “I can't do that this time though…I just have to deal with it.”

She ran a hand through her wet hair and sighed. “I can look into things, see if anyone would be friendly about talking. You don't need to go out of your way though. I promise I'll be okay. I just...need time I guess.” Despite her assurances, she looked like she would be anything but fine for a good long while. “I…don't like making people worry. I feel guilty for it…but…I'll try to lean on others more.”

Sleet Tempest Snape
“I’m sure it is, I can’t even imagine how it must be.” To know there had been things before, a past, and to try and piece things together…it had to be frustrating to say the least. He’d had to build from nothing, or very little, it wasn’t the same. He didn’t know that there had been things there in the past…but not be able to remember, to have help from the past. “No, to do it again would set you back again and potentially put you back into the same spot you’d left.” Because she might just run into the person, or persons, that had caused the issue to start with. With her memories gone she might just fall right into the same issue as well, get close to the same people again, it would be far too dangerous for her to return to order.

“I get that, more than most I assure you, but sometimes you need to lean on others and let them worry and comfort. Let them be people and let yourself be a bit needy and a bit greedy as well…it’s human and sometimes it’s just what a person needs. I’ve been learning to take, to ask for things, to just take things even. It’s been slow going, it’s not in my nature, but sometimes I need to do something for myself and it just happens.” Buying something he wanted, clothing he wanted but didn’t need, or even the expensive gym equipment he wanted.

“I’ll have him find a list of those who have changed sides, you can reach out to them, you do the talking part and let Aloysius and me do the research for you.” Because he secretly didn’t think she’d look into it, look for help for herself, but she needed someone in a similar position or someone who had been there, someone she could talk to and get help from.