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 Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:19 am
Takes place early July 2025. It was a Saturday, which meant Riker was helping Evan with the food truck. He was technically employed, but the money Evan gave him always ended up back in the same place. Evan paid for everything, fed him, gave him a place to stay, looked after him in ways Riker had never really known how to accept. So when he got paid, Riker used it on things he felt he should be handling himself. Toiletries, socks, small necessities… just enough so it didn’t feel like he was relying completely on someone else.
The lunch rush had just died down, and they had the window closed and were cleaning up to go home. He was a little flustered with himself, because he’d stepped back to grab more to-go boxes from the shelf and accidentally bumped into Evan. Evan ended up fumbling the food he was prepping, and Riker immediately felt his stomach twist with guilt.
Of course, Evan brushed it off in a very Evan way. He told Riker it was fine, that accidents happened, that Riker was doing a good job, that he was proud of him. But Riker still felt like he should’ve been more careful. Should’ve noticed where Evan was. Should’ve just done better.
The customer earlier hadn’t helped, either. They’d mumbled their order over the food truck’s generator and their tiny dog’s nonstop barking, and when Riker politely asked them to repeat themselves, they snapped. His anxiety had already been fraying, and it felt like a string at the edge had just been yanked, tearing the seam open wider. He tried to stay calm, but the panic had already bubbled up from his stomach. He knew he was going to mess things up. He did mess things up.
Evan stepped in, of course. He yelled back, defended him. He told the customer they were doing their best, that it was just the two of them, that Riker had been polite. That if the customer didn’t want to repeat themselves, then that was on them.
Riker appreciated it -- he did! But he hated that Evan had to do it. That he’d put Evan in that position in the first place. He knew Evan got anxious after confrontations like that. That he preferred to make the food rather than handle customers, so Riker had been trying really hard to learn the ‘in’s and ‘out’s of customer service so he could get some of that weight off of Evan. So now, on top of everything else, Riker felt like he’d made the whole day worse.
By the time they’d cleaned up and packed everything away, he could barely hold himself together. He sank into one of the seats in the back of the truck, head tipped back against the wall, with his eyes squeezed shut while Evan started shutting down the generator.
He felt ridiculous for being on the verge of tears. But he’d made such stupid mistakes that day, and he knew he was letting Evan down. He was supposed to be helping, but all he could think was that he was just getting in the way.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:20 am
“Riker,” Evan said after a moment, carefully monitoring his tone so it didn’t sound too serious. He knew he wouldn’t have to sound angry for Riker to be sensitive. “You haven’t had anything to drink in a while, have you? Here,” he said, pressing a cold soda from the fridge into his hand.
There was a fan in the truck, helpful for keeping it cool near the stove, but Evan climbed atop the little stool he had and angled it towards where Riker was sitting. He got a face full of cool air so hurried away from it so it would reach Riker.
When he sat down next to him, it wasn’t to crowd him. Usually, he wouldn’t have rushed into conversation; he would have given it space to breathe. Given Riker space to breathe.
It was too easy to see the tension he carried. To see the strained, uneven breathing. The lines on his face.
His whole posture screamed that he was ready to explode.
“...Today sucked, huh? Thank you for sharing it with me. I don’t think I could have done it on my own. How are you holding up?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:21 am
Riker let out a scoffing breath before he could stop himself. It wasn’t meant for Evan, and he was sure that Evan knew that, but the frustration slipped out anyway, sharp and bitter. He was always doing that. Making things worse without trying.
“I’m fine,” he said too quickly. The words sounded too clipped. Too dismissive. He knew that Evan would see straight through him.
He cracked his eyes open just enough to see the drink being handed to him. He took it with a mumbled thanks and pressed the cold can against his cheek.
He hadn’t had anything to drink in a while, just as Evan had guessed. Not since they first started working, at least. He just hadn’t thought about it. Or maybe he had, and chose not to. Maybe there was a part of him that thought he didn’t deserve to be comfortable after how things had gone.
The cold air of the fan hitting his face made him flinch a little, but he didn’t move. He needed something to give him a little relief. A slight softening of the edge he felt like he was balancing on.
“Today only sucked because of me,” he grumbled after a few moments. It wasn’t accusatory, just… fact. And he felt stupid for saying it. He felt childish and immature.
Evan was the one who had to fix everything. Had to smooth things over, step in, make up for his mistakes. And now he was still being kind and gentle, still sitting next to him like Riker wasn’t just dead weight dragging him and his business down.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:22 am
“You weren’t there when I spilled oil down my pants,” Evan pointed out. “And I’m the one who hit the curb pulling in. And you didn’t control the four hundred degree weather outside. The heat’s got me all messed up. I’m afraid to check and see if I lost a hubcap, Zac’ll be so mad.”
No, Zac would huff and puff and be dramatic and fix it and tell Evan to slow down.
Evan lifted the soda he’d gotten for himself and sipped at it.
“...Sometimes bad days are just bad days. And it’s okay. It sucks. But it doesn’t make it your fault. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong, or that you could have done anything better. Sometimes things just happen that way. But…”
He chewed on the inside of his lip and glanced at Riker. “...Is today just a bad day because of what happened at work, or do you have other stuff going on too?”
Riker was so secretive. He was good at keeping secrets. So good at hiding his hurts and his worries.
Maybe it was just a bad day.
Maybe it was something he’d been hiding for a while.
Evan just wanted him to have a safe place to talk about any of it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:22 am
Riker sat in the silence for a little while, listening to the whirl of the fan as it blew in his face. He tried to use the time to piece his thoughts together, but it was like trying to hold onto water. They kept slipping through his fingers.
“I don’t know,” he said at last, his grip tightening slightly on the soda can, but he still hadn’t opened it. His voice was quieter now, less clipped. “It’s not just today.”
He tried keeping his troubles to himself. He didn’t want to put that weight on anyone else, especially when they had their own to carry. He rubbed his face with his hand, like it might kickstart his brain into figuring out what feelings were putting the most pressure on him. He didn’t want to let Evan down by just avoiding his questions and concerns.
“I just… I don’t know. I keep thinking I need to figure stuff out. Like school. Or work. Or where I’m supposed to be in a year. I know you’ve been doing so much for me -- I’m not ungrateful! I just…” he hesitated, his jaw clenching tightly. “I don’t want to take too much. I don’t want to… mess up what I have here.”
Evan had been so good to him. He knew he would have a place there, he knew Evan wanted him there. But even he couldn’t ignore the whisperings among the adults who lived there how it was a bit crammed. How there wasn’t really much room for Zac to make another addition. And he couldn’t help but wonder if his presence there was just making things more difficult for everyone who was there before him, even if he tried to keep to himself and stay in his and Julian’s room.
“I think about… that woman sometimes,” he admitted, almost like an afterthought. “Even though I shouldn’t. I have no reason to. I know what she did… I know I’m better off without being around her. But there’s still this part of me that wonders if she’ll show up again. To a ballgame maybe, just out of habit, or to harass me, I don’t know. And if she does…”
Riker paused again, absently staring down at his wrist where he could see the worst scar she’d left on him peeking out from under his long sleeve, despite the heat.
“I don’t know if I have the strength to tell her no,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion that he desperately tried to swallow back. He knew it was the most he’d said on the subject in a while. He didn’t look at Evan while he said it. How could he? He loved Evan as the mom he’d never actually had. It felt cruel to him to bring her up at all.
“She always made me feel like I was a mistake. Like I ruined everything. I know it sounds stupid, but I keep thinking… if I don’t get this right, or if I ask for too much, or if I’m too much… you’ll change your mind too.”
He felt guilty for saying it. How many times had Evan reassured him? How many more times would it take for it to get too old to bother? Was he just sabotaging himself at this point? Probably… Which was why he tried to not talk about himself or his feelings.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:22 am
“Oh,” Evan said, and held onto the thought for a few seconds.
Of course it hurt. He wanted to think that he’d earned himself a place in a separate category–a ‘safe adult’, away from Riker’s mother and all the damage she’d done. He wanted to think he’d proven he wasn’t like her but–
Riker was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just because things were good now didn’t mean they’d always be good, and–
Well, Evan remembered being a teenager. Things didn’t make sense all the time. Sometimes emotions just got too big, and his thoughts could run away from him.
Sometimes having a bad thought didn’t mean thinking someone was a bad person.
Could Riker ask for too much? Was there a limit? Even now, Evan couldn’t imagine where he’d draw the line. Couldn’t even think about where he’d start to draw the line. He sucked in a breath, held it. Released it slowly.
“Well,” he tried, eyes briefly falling to the scar on Riker’s wrist before he faced the fan. It wasn’t much to look at but he was worried if he watched Riker, he might see him start to mask his problems or try to bury things again. “I don’t think you’re too much. Or not enough, either. I was actually hoping to talk to you about…Oh, I don’t know.”
His voice softened but the words had been spoken into existence so he couldn’t just let them taper off. He knew how easy it was for a half finished sentence to grow into something worse in your mind.
“I want to adopt you,” he blurted, finally. “Like, legally. Like, I have the paperwork. I have a lawyer. I have Michael, who will pay for everything, and–I didn’t want to keep it a secret from you. I wasn’t trying to do it behind your back. I just. Wanted to know if I could do it, if it was a possibility. I didn’t want to get your hopes up if there were going to be road blocks. But there aren’t. Anymore. And.”
He had to set the can of soda on the ground because his hands kept twitching.
“I thought–I don’t know. You’ve been hurt, a lot. I know I can’t undo any of what she did. But. I don’t want this to be about her, just you. I’m sorry, I’m talking a lot. I’m nervous. And it’s hot.” So he squirmed again but tried to take a deep breath and focus.
“In a year, I hope you’re still with me. I mean–I don’t know what that’ll look like, but I don’t want you to turn eighteen and think ‘that’s it, I’m on my own’–becuase you won’t be. Well, I don’t want you to be. I want you to be my son. Who always has a home to come back to. Who always has someone if he needs them. I thought, if I just made a promise, maybe it wouldn’t feel real. I wanted to get paperwork. I wanted to make it legal. A commitment. A promise that you could–you know, could see. I’m sorry I might–am I overstepping? I need to backtrack. I’m not trying to talk over you. I was going to talk to you about it this weekend. Not now, I didn’t mean to say it right now. But–I do mean it. You couldn’t ever ask for too much. You couldn’t be too much. You couldn’t want or take too much. I don’t even think you ask for enough! I–no, I’m sorry. I just dumped so much on you. I’m sorry, Riker. But–”
He looked at him helplessly, apologetically. “Sorry, I’m all over the place. I just care about you a lot. I want to make sure you’re okay. I don’t want you to keep trying to minimize what you need and who you are because you think I’m ever going to think it’s bad. I want you to know that I love you and want you to be part of my family. I think, is what I’m trying to say. I’m sorry it took me so many words to say it. But I want to listen to what you have to say. I want to talk through it. Is that okay?”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:23 am
Riker stared, his eyes widening in surprise and momentary confusion and too much hope all at the same time. He wasn’t able to speak, even if he tried. He wasn’t even sure if he’d heard him right. His thoughts had suddenly disappeared, like hitting pause. The fan hummed in the background, blowing cool air over his face still, but he barely noticed it now.
Except he did notice something… Evan was flustered and fidgeting, his face flushed from heat and anxiety. Without a word, Riker leaned over and adjusted the fan slightly, letting it rotate toward Evan too. It was the least he could do, even if it wasn’t much.
When he finally looked at Evan, his eyes were already glassy with emotion. His grip on the soda can flexed, his fingers trembling a little, so he lowered it down to his lap so he wouldn’t drop it.
“You… you want to adopt me?” he asked, stunned, like he needed to hear it again. Not because he doubted Evan! He knew he meant it! But because he needed help believing it was real, and maybe saying it out loud would help.
Unfortunately, that was enough to start the waterfall of tears, hot and embarrassing. He turned his face away, trying to press his shoulder into them, like maybe he could hide with enough effort.
“I didn’t even know I wanted that,” he admitted, his voice breaking as he tried to wipe the tears away, feeling even more ridiculous about it. “But I do. I want to stay. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be on my own.”
There wasn’t much of a pause between speaking and him setting the can down beside him. And then he reached for Evan, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tight, but gently enough not to hurt him. He pressed his face into Evan’s shoulder, heart racing in his chest.
“I love you,” he whispered, trying to get himself to settle. “I don’t want to mess this up. I’ve been trying so hard not to--... I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be dramatic. I just… yeah. I want that. I want to be your son. If--... if you’re sure you want me.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:23 am
Evan was glad he put the can down because he might have just thrown it to accommodate Riker in his arms. It didn’t matter how hot it was, he wrapped his arms around him. At least the fan was pointed in their direction. He gathered Riker into his arms with a bit of alarm, eager to offer him any comfort.
Riker had spent so many years of his life only knowing a hateful, violent touch, so he was careful not to squeeze too tightly even if he just wanted to press all his love into him. “Of course I want you! I already decided you’re my son, with or without a paper. But I want the paper. I want you to have the paper.”
Because, even if that woman tried to weasel her way back into his life, for whatever reason, Evan wanted to be able to slam the door shut in her face. He wanted to be able to protect Riker from her, from everything.
“You’re not going to mess anything up, not like that. You don’t have to be perfect–you’re not going to be perfect. Nobody is. You’re allowed to make mistakes–in fact! You should! Now is the best time to make them! Because you’re safe and you’re home, and no matter what happens, I’ll look after you.” And if a problem ever got too big, there was always Zac to deal with it.
“Take up space, Riker. Ask me for things. Make mistakes. Be a kid. Don’t worry about the future, not yet. Michael’s helping me with school stuff, nothing’s changing. Except some paperwork, hopefully. Don’t worry about work–am I giving you too many hours? Not enough? We can figure that out. And a year from now–five, ten, fifteen–I don’t care, you’ll always have a home with me. You don’t ever even have to move out if you don’t want to! You don’t ever have to be on your own!”
He smothered Riker’s back but didn’t release his grip, like if he lessened the hug he thought Riker might fall to pieces. “None of those things are dramatic. Or are wrong to worry about. But you don’t have to worry about them alone. We’ll figure those things out together. I’m not a very good parent, I know I don’t have a ton of experience. Or even a lot of answers. And I don’t know a lot of stuff. But I’m really good at worrying, so let me worry about you. And let me care about you, and let me take care of you. Like a parent’s supposed to. Because you’re a really good son. And you deserve that. Even if you didn’t want to be my son, you’d deserve it. But. I want you to be my son.”
Even if he felt silly saying it, like the words came out clunky or cheesy or awkward. He wasn’t a poet. He didn’t know how to make things sound smart or clever.
He just knew how he felt and what he wanted, so he was doing his best to say it, and to make sure Riker knew how much he meant it.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:23 am
Riker didn’t pull away, clinging tighter to Evan as he spoke, fingers gripping lightly to the fabric of his shirt like he was afraid of letting go too soon. The tears came faster now, and he couldn’t stop them, but he wasn’t trying to hide them anymore. He wasn’t trying to be quiet about it.
He sniffled, his breathing shaky and uneven, and he let out a small, wet laugh at Evan’s rambling.
“You sound pretty good at the whole parent thing to me,” he said, muffled against Evan’s shoulder. “Way better than anyone else I’ve ever had. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
He squeezed him just a little tighter. Not enough to hurt him, just in love and gratitude. Evan knew he didn’t have a dad, and well… he knew all about his brother and that woman. Evan had always accepted him, anyway. Protected him when others would have looked the other way.
Evan saw him, flaws and all, and still chose him. Riker pulled back enough to look at him, his face flushed and wet with tears that kept coming no matter how hard he tried to blink them away. He sniffled and scrubbed his face with his sleeve again. He was trying to be casual about it and definitely not like he was falling apart, overwhelmed with emotion.
“Sorry,” he let out a shaky breath and tried to smile, even though it wibbled a bit. He knew he looked like a mess, but he was happy.
“I want to be your son,” he clarified, decisive, even if his voice was still a bit uneven. “I already am. I don’t want to waste what you’ve given me. I want to be someone you’re proud of. I love you. You’re the best parent I could ever have hoped for. Thank you for giving me a chance.”
Evan said he shouldn’t worry about the future, that they had things worked out. He would take his word for it. Evan had never let him down before, and Riker doubted he would start now.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:24 am
Oh, if Riker was crying, Evan was going to cry. It was as like as soon as he saw the wetness in his eyes, they were reflected in Evan’s. He whispered a quick, embarrassed sorry. Evan had a lot of emotions, he always had. He could function through them! He just couldn’t help but feel things very deeply.
“Don’t be sorry, Riker,” Evan said quickly, and he didn’t even bother to try wiping his eyes. What, was he supposed to be ashamed of it? That his son, his son, thought Evan was the best parent? Evan was a mess, but–
Well, maybe that wasn’t even the worst thing in the world. He could be a good mess.
A safe mess.
“Of course I’m proud of you. For this and all things.” How could he not be? He knew what Riker had been through–some of it, at least. He doubted Riker would have been so quick to tell him everything. Maybe he was afraid of being too much. Evan didn’t think he could be. Wouldn’t let him think he could be.
Riker called himself lucky to have Evan–even after everything he’d been through.
Of course Evan was going to be emotional about it. Of course he’d be ready to move Heaven and Earth. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do for your child?
…You were supposed to give them a better chance at life than you had, at the very least.
Evan had learned his fair share of how not to parent from his own. He could do better than that, and better than Riker’s mother certainly.
…And even if he didn’t know how to do the rest, they’d have time to figure it out.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:24 am
Riker wasn’t sure how long they sat there, holding each other like that. They could have probably been home by now, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to leave Evan’s arms.
There were still tears on his face, stubbornly clinging to his eyelashes, but the overwhelming weight in his chest didn’t feel so horrible anymore. He let out a shaky breath and gave Evan another squeeze. He no longer felt like he might disappear if he let go. Of course he wouldn’t. Not when Evan had chosen him.
He’d chosen him a while ago, of course. They’d already talked about how Evan loved Riker as his son, and while Riker believed him, and loved him in return, there was something strangely solidifying -- permanent about adoption. Now, he wouldn’t have to worry about that woman showing up and taking him back. He wouldn’t have to worry about police being sent after Evan for kidnapping him. As much as he loved Evan as his parent and guardian, nothing except those very official, legal papers could grant him an unquestionable place in his life.
And now, his chest ached but in a different way. It wasn’t weighed down with fear or shame or the sinking guilt that he always carried, but something… gentler. Brighter. Like a light trying to warm the coldest parts of him. Just one more gentle reminder that he was loved. He was wanted.
“...Okay,” he finally breathed out, using his sleeve once more to scrub at his face. “Okay. We’ll get everything figured out. I want to officially be your son as soon as possible. Just remember that you said I can make mistakes and be a kid and ask for things. Can we get ice cream?”
It was just a gentle tease, of course. He pulled back a little and grabbed a couple napkins to pass over to Evan, but as he stood up, he pressed a kiss to the top of Evan’s head. Just something warm and affectionate and full of a love that he didn’t know how to express.
But that was okay, because he had Evan, and Evan had him.
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:24 am
At first, Evan just seemed confused. He accepted the napkins and looked around like he thought he’d find a mess, until–
Oh, right. Him, the mess.
Quickly, he mopped at his face and rose from where he’d been sitting. The soda was only temporarily forgotten but he knelt to lift that, too.
“We’ll get ice cream on the way home,” he decided, because even if Riker had been teasing–good! Let him ask for something! Let him know it was safe to ask! Let him want to do something simple and silly.
He didn’t let Riker get too far before he grabbed him for one more quick hug, except he had to use the stool he kept in the back of the truck to stand on it just to kiss atop his head, too.
“I’ll get the paperwork out tonight, we can go over it together. We’ll get it done as soon as possible, okay? I want it done fast, too,” he admitted. “...I’ll sleep better when I know the paperwork’s all done. When I know I can’t lose you.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2025 11:24 am
Riker’s lips twitched into a smile as Evan stepped up on the stool to give him another hug and kiss on his head. He let himself melt into the embrace, holding Evan there for a moment longer, just soaking in everything being offered to him.
“Okay,” he echoed, sniffling again. His head hurt a little, but he felt a lot better about everything. Even after a horrible day at work. “We’ll do it together.”
He wanted to reassure Evan that he wouldn’t lose him, but he didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t want to call that into this world, to give it life. It would only mean it was more likely to be taken away from them. Maybe he was just being paranoid. Maybe it was silly. But he didn’t want to risk it.
Instead, he gave Evan another hug, pressing his face against his chest. And for the first time in a long time, the future didn’t seem so scary. He had his friends. He had his Wonder. But having an adult who officially wanted to claim guardianship over him? To stand between him and everything that had ever hurt him? It was a relief so deep that he didn’t dare look too closely at it.
Because if he did, he’d start crying again.
Once he was certain Evan had a long enough hug, he reached over to pick up the not forgotten soda and cracked it open to take a drink. He had to make sure he took care of himself so he could take care of Evan in return.
Fin!
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