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 Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:21 pm
Takes place in June, several hours after Drowning, screaming for air. Vyn returned to the Vanguard house as the first light of day broke over the horizon.
He avoided any sign of alert voices or shuffling feet and limped up to the room he shared with Aliez, passing the nearest bathroom as he went. A shower might have done him some good; he hadn’t had the chance to do more than hastily wipe at his face and pour water over his hands since his fight with the Eternal Senshi, but he couldn’t muster the energy to remain upright long enough to take care of the rest now. He was nearing forty-eight hours with no sleep—certainly doable, if only he’d slept more consistently before.
Though he had nothing to show for his troubles other than various bumps, cuts, and bruises—and a single earring, joined now by several other piercings he’d talked Surtur into with plans to fill as soon as he had the energy to visit the nearest store—Vyn nonetheless approached his room with less unease than he had for some time.
The door opened quietly and shut back into its frame with a soft thud. Vyn kicked off his filthy running shoes and nudged them aside, then flopped face down onto the lower bunk—a double—without slipping beneath the blankets. His feet hung over the end and his most comfortable pillow remained out of reach, but Vyn couldn’t be bothered to correct his positioning.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:23 pm
Aliez has been pretending to sleep for over an hour. He wasn’t really sure why he kept doing that. Why he kept his eyes shut when the door creaked, or kept his breathing as even as possible, hoping against any logic that the next sound might just be Vyn, finally returning home to get some rest.
So when the door opened just past dawn, something painful tightened in Aliez’s chest. He stayed still. He didn’t move. Just listened.
The door shut quietly. Shoes thudded. Then there was the sound of someone collapsing -- no… crumpling onto the lower bunk.
With that, Aliez finally opened his eyes. He quietly slid down from the top bunk, barely breathing. As if making too much noise would scare Vyn away.
Vyn hadn’t even pulled the blankets over himself. And his clothes were filthy. Skin was cut and bruised. His knuckles looked raw and he smelled like dirt and sweat.
Aliez’s throat tightened. But for a moment, he didn’t do anything. He just knelt beside the bed and stared, his heart pounding in his ears. He closed his eyes briefly, fighting back the emotion that welled inside him. He knew better than to crowd. He knew Vyn didn’t want to be smothered but--
But Vyn looked terrible. He was hurt. Alone. He hadn’t even bathed-- what happened?
Hesitantly, Aliez reached out and let his fingers brush lightly over Vyn’s forearm. His skin was too warm, pulse too fast. The bruises were still fresh. Something new glinted in his ears -- a piercing? Or several…
“I should call someone,” he whispered, but it wasn’t really to Vyn. “I should tell Andreiya. Or Lyndin… I should’ve gone after you.”
He hated the way his voice shook, and quickly placed his hand against his eyes, making himself breathe through his nose. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to be selfish. He wasn’t the one who was bleeding.
He didn’t ask where Vyn had been. He didn’t demand an explanation. He just curled his hand gently around Vyn’s wrist and lowered his forehead to the edge of the mattress.
“You can sleep,” he said quietly, trying not to choke on his words. “I’ll stay. I’m not calling anyone unless you tell me to. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I’m here.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:24 pm
Vyn hadn’t looked onto the top bunk. He hadn’t even looked onto the bottom to see if Aliez was there instead before crashing onto it. Whether or not he was alone hadn’t mattered this time. Aliez knew he’d been out. Aliez knew he would be back, though he couldn’t have known when. Aliez seemed to be making an effort to be around as much as he could to catch Vyn in the act of returning, like he needed to see for himself that Vyn was getting some rest. Vyn was too tired to pretend he wasn’t. He was hurt, but his injuries would heal easily enough. Aliez had nothing to worry about and Vyn had nothing to hide.
“What are you talking about?” he mumbled. His arm twitched beneath Aliez’s hand, responding to the contact rather than shifting away.
Vyn lifted his head and peered at his friend with half-closed eyes, puffy from too much crying. The room was dim even as the sun rose outside, shielded by thick curtains over each window. In the shadows, Aliez looked miserable. Probably the way Vyn had looked, actually, when he’d been in the thick of mourning things that hadn’t yet come to pass.
Maybe he was mourning still, even if he’d found a reprieve from the frenzied state he’d been in before.
“Did something happen?” Vyn asked, pushing himself up on arms that felt like jelly. He was too fuzzy in the head to understand what Aliez had meant about Andreiya and Lyndin.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:24 pm
Aliez startled a little when Vyn shifted, his breath catching in a little gasp that flushed his cheeks with embarrassment.
Vyn’s voice sounded rough. His eyes were swollen, red, exhausted. He looked like someone who had cried until they just couldn’t anymore.
Aliez shifted from where he was sitting so he could help support him, one hand on Vyn’s back, the other reaching up to brush a clump of hair from his eyes, but caught himself and pulled away again. He didn’t want to smother him. He didn’t want to chase him away.
“No-- nothing happened,” he said quickly, his voice quiet. “I mean… not here. Not to me.” He felt flustered, like he was not supposed to see Vyn. See the state he was in.
He shifted back, sitting on his heels, moving his hands into his lap, twisting the hem of his nightshirt.
“I just--” Aliez hesitated, floundering for a response that didn’t make it seem like he was making things out to be bigger of a deal than Vyn thought they were. “You were gone, Vyn. You’ve been going out. Not saying anything. You come back at strange hours. You don’t talk to anyone. No one knew where you were-- your GPS is off…”
He paused and shook his head. Swallowed back the emotion that threatened to bubble up. Blink away the tears that filled his eyes, grateful for the dim light of the morning.
“I didn’t know if you wanted me to call someone. Lyndin would want to know. Andreiya’s been worried. You looked so out of it the last time I saw you, so--”
His voice cracked, but he didn’t try to hide it this time. He let his emotions break through for just a moment, blinking quickly as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.
“I wasn’t trying to smother you. I just-- I don’t know what else to do except wait. I didn’t know if you wanted anyone to find you or-- or if you were running.”
He placed a hand flat over his chest, as if the pressure would help keep his heart from racing.
“You’re here now. That’s all I care about,” he said finally, looking at Vyn, desperately wanting him to know he was sincere. “But if you’re in trouble or--... or if something happened that you can’t fix alone… please don’t try to carry it by yourself…”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:24 pm
Too tired to stay propped up for long, Vyn rolled onto his side so he could look at Aliez properly. His sore ear against the bedding wasn’t the most pleasant sensation; his knee hurt worse, twinging with the movement. Vyn grimaced until he settled, then ignored it all. Ultimately, the various aches and pains scattered over his body were immaterial. They could all be fixed.
“What would Lyndin want to know?” Vyn said, still trying to piece together what Aliez was talking about.
Of course he’d known Aliez had been worried. Aliez wasn’t as good at hiding it as he probably wished he was. Vyn had assumed Andreiya would be worried, too, if Aliez had been confiding in him. Vyn had more success in avoiding everyone else, scurrying through the house without making eye contact with anyone if they happened to be awake and puttering around whenever he came home. He’d thought it would be better, dealing with everything alone, that Aliez and Andreiya would worry more if he let them hear or see how he felt. He’d thought he’d been saving them the trouble of having to deal with his misery on top of their own.
And maybe, in his selfish pessimism, he hadn’t expected either of them to understand.
“I’m not in trouble,” Vyn reassured Aliez. “I’ve been looking for Caedus. I haven’t found him, so there’s nothing to report. I haven’t involved you or Andreiya because it’s not—obviously it’s a delicate subject. The rest of you—maybe you care too much. Maybe you can’t stomach it. I can. You heard the Commodore. We could’ve been halfway to reclaiming Velenia by now—”
Vyn forced himself to a stop and sighed. He closed his eyes before they could fill with tears again.
He was so sick of crying.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:25 pm
“Maybe you care too much.”
Aliez flinched, just barely, and lowered his eyes. Of course he cared too much. But until that moment, it didn’t occur to him that it might be something he should apologize for.
His fingers curled around the fabric, twisting tighter as his breath caught somewhere in his chest. He didn’t say anything for a long moment. He couldn’t. Not until the pressure building in his chest eased enough so he could speak without breaking into pieces.
“I know what the Commodore said,” Aliez eventually mumbled, his voice soft and mournful. “I was there. I know what’s at stake. I know how many people are counting on us. If there was anything else we could do--... If it was my starseed that would bring Velenia back and restore Velencya, then I’d do it. I don’t care if I die, Vyn. I never have.”
There were worse things than death. And he really did believe that their people were never truly gone, even if they were no longer with them.
But Caedus was still one of them. He wasn’t a number. He wasn’t a tool. But he didn’t dare speak that out loud.
Aliez could feel his hands shaking, so he pressed them together a bit tighter, hoping to still them.
“I don’t want you to have to carry the burden of hunting him alone. That’s not fair to you,” he said quietly, looking up at Vyn, observing all of the bruises, the exhaustion, the way he curled in on himself, as though he was barely keeping it together. He was someone who tried to protect everyone by walling everything up and keeping it inside of him, bleeding quietly where no one could see.
“I know you’re trying to protect us, Vyn,” he whispered, a quiet understanding in his voice as he looked at his friend. “I get it… please don’t think I wouldn’t understand. Please don’t push me away because I care. You’re not the only one willing to do something hard.”
He paused, steadying himself. Steeling himself. Because he didn’t want Vyn to look at him like he was made of glass or that he couldn’t fight just because he was a healer.
“... I just want to help.” Even if Vyn didn’t believe him yet, Aliez meant it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:25 pm
“Maybe I’m trying to protect myself,” Vyn argued. His voice didn’t rise with heat or lower with a cold edge. He spoke listlessly, but matter of factly. “I don’t need the rest of you pleading his case when he’s the only option we have right now.”
It wasn’t up for debate. None of them had to like it; Vyn didn’t, if he let himself think about it long enough, but it was their only option. In four years, no one had presented a suitable alternative. Vyn wasn’t willing to wait four more. The lives of their families and friends back home were worth more than one man’s hope.
“There’s nothing else we can do. Caedus’ starseed is the only one that matters,” Vyn continued. He opened his eyes again only when he was sure he would shed no more tears. How could he possibly have any left to begin with? “You shouldn’t need me to tell you how to help. It’s not up to me to let you, it’s up to you to do it. Find out where he is. If the Commodore was right and some of the others have found him without reporting it, find out who, when, and where. They’re endangering everyone by covering for him.”
If Caedus had any honor, he would give himself up. He might act as if he cared for them, he might have saved them from the Hollow, but he still valued his own life more.
Vyn would never understand it.
“If you can’t do that,” he said, “then I’ll do it on my own. Like I have been. It doesn’t matter if it’s fair. The universe doesn’t care what’s fair. If it did, our people wouldn’t have been put in this position in the first place.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:25 pm
Aliez froze.
His mouth opened for a moment, like he might say something-- but nothing came out. His breath felt like it caught in his chest again, and this time it stayed there, sharp and unmoving. He stared at Vyn. The words he couldn’t say caught like thorns in his mouth.
Find him. Turn him in. Be the one to betray the man who still trusted you. Be the reason he dies.
His hands were clenched tightly in his lap. His chest ached. He wanted to help -- desperately wanted to help more than anything. But not like this. Not by becoming the sword that would strike Caedus down. Not when there might still be some other way. Anything. He was a healer. He wasn’t meant to hurt people, to watch as their starseed is ripped out. He was meant to save them.
“I--” he tried, but his voice was barely a whisper. He glanced away from Vyn. Looked down at his hands instead. At the sleeve covering the faint scarring on his arm from the Hollow. He could have healed it, but like Lyndin, he hadn’t wanted to waste the resources. Maybe he wanted a reminder.
Vyn’s words burned in his ears.
They’re endangering everyone by covering for him.
Maybe he was. Maybe he had been this whole time. It broke his heart knowing that if the inevitable happened -- if Velencya core failed, if Lyndin died -- he would have no one to blame but himself.
“I don’t know if I can,” he whispered, barely able to even breathe the words out loud. “I-- I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking.”
It wasn’t that he was saying that he wouldn’t. He wasn’t brave enough to say that outright. Vyn was his best friend, but right now he didn’t feel like he knew him. He didn’t know what he would do if he found out--
Or maybe it was the guilt that weighed heavy on him, crushing him. As though he’d already confessed. His eyes burned with tears that he quickly blinked away. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Vyn.
“I want to help. But I’m not-- I’m not like you, Vyn. I’m not… not built for this,” he choked, but shook his head and quickly continued. “I want to save lives, not trade one for thousands. I know what the numbers mean. I know the math doesn’t work. But it’s still a life--”
The rest of the words got caught in his throat. He curled up into himself a little, arms wrapped around his stomach. He took a breath to settle himself, and then nodded.
“I’ll try…” he said, his chest aching. “But I don’t know what I’ll do.”
Because he did know where Caedus was. And the thought of betraying him made him feel like he was crumbling inside.
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:25 pm
“It must be nice to have an excuse if we fail.” In an airy, lifeless voice, Vyn said, “I couldn’t because I’m a healer.”
Aliez hadn’t said it in so many words, but it was what he must have meant. I want to save lives. It wasn’t because Aliez didn’t care. It wasn’t even because he was soft. It was because his work in life and death led him to choose life when life could still be chosen. He would choose it until the very end, until all other options proved ineffective. Hopefully by then it wouldn’t be too late.
Pale lashes fell over an exhausted gaze, then lifted again with some effort. Vyn stared at Aliez without malice. In the face of his dearest friend, Vyn felt only sadness and regret—that he couldn’t give him something easy; that he couldn’t make their choices palatable; that there might come a day when Vyn would have to disappoint him.
“I’m tired of the moral debates,” he said. “You and that Senshi who saved him, you get to be good people no matter what happens.”
Vyn didn’t have that luxury. He wasn’t a healer. He had no research to present, no brilliant epiphanies to share. He had only an increasingly terrible situation and the one solution currently available to them.
“It doesn’t matter,” he continued before Aliez could issue another tearful response. “This is the mission until someone presents another solution. It’s not up for discussion, so if you’ve got anything else to say about it I’ll ask you to keep it to yourself. All you’re doing is reminding me how alone I am right after a very kind man succeeded in putting me in a better mood. Please don’t ruin his efforts.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:26 pm
The words -- It must be nice to have an excuse -- hit harder than Vyn probably intended. Or maybe he had meant them to, and that hurt even worse. Aliez had seen the way Vyn’s gaze seemed to dull from exhaustion, how his expression shifted into something emotionless and unreadable. It wasn’t anger -- that would’ve been easier to take.
No… it was disappointment. And that was what shattered him.
Aliez’s expression faltered, but he didn’t look away. Vyn’s words stung more than he wanted them to. He hadn’t meant to argue. Hadn’t even wanted to make this moment about himself. But it was hard not to feel like he’d failed somehow. Like Vyn had needed something from him, but Aliez hadn’t been strong enough to give it.
And now Vyn looked more distant than ever.
Aliez’s hands were still in his lap, but they trembled visibly now. He pressed them hard against his knees to keep them still. His breath was unsteady, soft and fluttery like the tail end of a panic attack. But he didn’t cry. Not yet.
He’d already cried so much. And it was so unbecoming of a Velencian -- a Commander.
“I’m not trying to ruin anything,” he finally whispered, his voice tight in his throat. “I’m just--”
He clamped his mouth shut.
Just trying to be honest… Just trying to do the right thing… Just trying not to crumble into pieces…
None of that mattered now. Because Vyn was alone. That’s what he said. What he felt. Even though Aliez was right there.
He wanted to tell Vyn that he wasn’t alone. That he never had been. That he would always be there for him -- even now, despite drowning in guilt.
“I wasn’t trying to make this harder for you,” Aliez said softly. “I just… didn’t want you to think you were alone.”
There was no accusation in his voice. No push or demand. There was only the quiet ache of someone who still cared. Maybe more than he should.
Aliez’s eyes flicked to the bruises, to the scabbed knuckles. The way Vyn had winced when moving his knee. Something had happened… even if Vyn tried to brush it off.
“What are you talking about? Did something happen?”
Vyn hadn’t seemed like he wanted to talk about it then. Had told Aliez to not mention Caedus, and whatever happened was likely associated to Caedus, so Aliez felt stuck and didn’t want to push, but…
“If it helps, I won’t bring it up again. I meant it when I said I just wanted to help you,” he said quietly, hesitantly, eyes scanning Vyn’s face for any hint of whether he should stay or go.
“You don’t have to tell me everything… but I could clean your cuts,” he offered, trying not to be too obvious as he glanced again at the bruises… and the faintly red, still healing holes in Vyn’s ears.
“Or… you could tell me what you were thinking when you decided to do that to your ears.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:26 pm
Vyn inhaled deeply, held the breath until his lungs protested, then released it on a long exhale and rolled onto his back. He gazed up at the underside of the bunk above him because it was easier than looking at Aliez, knowing no matter how much Aliez wanted to soothe and reassure him there would always be a disconnect.
Suppressing one’s emotions was beginning to seem like the worst societal feature to have when one’s world was dying. When the emotions inevitably broke through, none of them had any idea how to effectively offer comfort.
“I was thinking the pain couldn’t be any worse,” Vyn said of his ears. “I was thinking I liked the way it looked. I received one as a gift so I wanted to wear it. That General who came to speak with the Commodore when we first learned of the Hollow, he had so many, and he was as fearsome and imposing as the General King. The man I was with, he has them, too. He’s brave and resilient. I’d like to be those things, instead of pitiful and foolish.”
Four years hadn’t changed him for the better. Vyn didn’t like who he used to be, but he didn’t like who he’d become either.
He was so tired of sadness yet he couldn’t seem to escape it.
“I fought the Senshi I mentioned. The one who—” Vyn cut himself off. He swallowed heavily. If he didn’t want Aliez to mention Caedus he should lead by example. “The one I shot when we were in the Hollow’s domain. I found him sneaking through the woods, so I shot him again. He wasn’t pleased. He looks worse than I do, at least. Surtur stopped us. I’ve told you about him. He isn’t like the others. He doesn’t care about what happened when we first came here.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:26 pm
Aliez blinked slowly, as though absorbing Vyn’s words one at a time. He hadn’t expected him to answer. At least not like that. For a moment, he just… let it sit between them, quiet and heavy, but honest. Vyn hadn’t just answered a question, he’d offered something of himself. Aliez felt the weight of that.
He shifted slightly, lifting his knees and crossing his arms over them as he curled forward a little. He wanted to move closer, to maybe climb up on the bed with Vyn, but he didn’t want to crowd him.
“You don’t look pitiful,” he whispered, almost like sharing a secret. “You look tired. And hurt. But not pitiful.”
Once again, his eyes flicked to the earring with the green gem, and to the raw skin around the other new piercings. They weren’t something he’d expected to see on many Velencians, especially not Vyn. It wasn’t that it was necessarily frowned upon, but it seemed almost too self indulgent.
But… maybe they meant something different, here. And maybe Vyn was trying to claim back a piece of himself.
“I think they suit you,” he added gently, letting his thoughts settle around them. “I didn’t understand at first… maybe I still don’t understand but…”
He didn’t say he thought Vyn was brave and resilient already. That felt like something Vyn had to believe for himself, not something that would really sink in if offered now.
He didn’t like thinking about the General or General King who came to speak to Lyndin. He didn’t like thinking about the Negaverse at all. But he knew they had no choice but to stay in their favor, for now.
But still, Aliez could feel his heart ache.
When Vyn spoke about the Senshi, about fighting him again, and shooting him, Aliez’s chest twisted uncomfortably, but he kept still. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that Vyn changed his wording, avoiding names, avoiding what he’d asked Aliez not to bring up. Aliez appreciated that it wasn’t just a request meant for him, but something Vyn held to as well.
“I don’t think you’re foolish, either. Even if I don’t always understand what you’re doing. Whatever happened… you’re here now. You don’t have to do everything alone, even if you feel like you do,” he said quietly, reaching for the familiar shape of his medical bag that usually stayed next to his desk. He didn’t open it right away, but he made sure Vyn could at least guess what he was reaching for by the sound of the buckle being unhooked.
“I could clean the wounds, if you want,” he offered, softer now. “I have some ointment from Andreiya’s plants. It should speed up healing the bruising. You could sleep while it works.”
His hand shifted a little, his other palm brushing the hidden pocket where he kept his Source Stone. He wasn’t sure if Vyn would want to be touched… but he had it, if it was needed.
“I’m glad Surtur was there,” he added. “I hope he’s someone who makes things feel a little less heavy.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:27 pm
“Nothing ever feels less heavy,” Vyn said. Exhaustion kept his voice low, kept emotion from rushing to the fore. “Everything’s still as awful as it was, but at least for a little while I didn’t feel like there was something wrong with me for feeling, or for wanting.”
Emotion was an inconvenience. Vyn knew that. It was incompatible with their way of life, and often irrelevant—for himself, and for others. He did himself no favors by allowing his emotions to get the better of him. The open displays when he was around the rest of the Vanguard were little more than selfish spectacles. Emotion was a distraction none of them could afford. Their mission was more important than anything he might feel in the process of completing it. To be angry was to be at a disadvantage. To be fearful was to show weakness.
Wanting was worse. Wanting was greed. Wanting was self-centered and tawdry. Allowing himself to revel in it had been self-indulgence at its worst, yet Vyn couldn’t find it in himself to regret.
“I felt good about myself,” he confessed. “I felt attractive for the first time in my life.”
Surtur hadn’t wanted him out of boredom or convenience, at least if he was to be believed. Vyn saw no reason for him to lie when he knew Surtur had other options. Surtur had seen something in him, and Vyn, wanting to be seen for who he was rather than who he should be, had allowed himself to indulge. For a short while Vyn hadn’t felt like a nuisance. He hadn’t felt extraneous. He hadn’t felt as if his presence served any purpose but to live.
Vyn didn’t look at Aliez. He kept his eyes trained on the bunk above him. If Aliez thought him reckless or irrational, Vyn didn’t want to see it.
“Anyway, my knee took the worst damage, I think,” Vyn offered. Maybe giving Aliez something to fix would help them both feel better. Aliez could do what he was best at and Vyn could pretend things were normal, even if it was anything but. “I sprained it when we fought the Hollow and didn’t heal it well enough. It’s worse now. I wasn’t fast enough to avoid being kicked.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:27 pm
Aliez moved without speaking at first. Not because he didn’t have anything to say, but because Vyn had given him something, and that was more than he expected. Aliez wasn’t going to waste that chance.
He reached for the medical bag and unhooked it, his fingers moving with a quiet familiarity as he reached in and drew out the ointment he’d mentioned earlier. The plants Andreiya had cultivated carried a sharp, earthy scent that filled the air as Aliez untwisted the cap. But as it settled, it turned more floral -- something like fresh rain.
“Okay,” he said gently, easing onto the bed beside Vyn, careful not to crowd him. “I need to look at your knee. I’ll try not to jostle you too much. Can you sit up a little? I’ll help support you if you need it.”
He slid one arm behind Vyn’s back, the other under his knee to guide and lift. His movements were slow, careful. Once Vyn was more upright, Aliez moved a pillow behind his back, against the wall, then bent over to gently inspect his knee.
The bruising was worse than he expected. Discoloration spread around swollen tissue, heat still rising from the joint. Aliez let out a breath through his nose and set to work with the ointment, warming a small amount between his hands before carefully pressing his fingers to the skin. It wasn’t the first time he’d treated Vyn, but something about it felt different now. Like it was more fragile this time. Not just the injury, but Vyn himself.
No… Vyn was strong. He just didn’t have the support that he needed. Some of the things he said had made Aliez’s heart twist painfully in his chest. He could feel the ache of vulnerability from Vyn just beneath the surface, but he knew better than to poke at it.
“You shouldn’t feel ashamed for wanting to be seen,” he said eventually, his voice soft. “You’re not pitiful. You’re not foolish.”
Aliez adjusted his touch, gentler over a tender spot, his Source Stone glowing faintly now from where it sat in his palm.
“If someone made you feel good about yourself… If they made you feel attractive, or strong, or wanted… then I’m glad they did. Because you should feel good about yourself. You are attractive. You’re allowed to want things, Vyn. You don’t have to feel guilty for that.”
He kept his eyes on his work as he wrapped the knee with firm but careful pressure. He didn’t need Vyn to respond. He didn’t need to be looked at or thanked.
“Tell me if it’s too tight,” he added after a moment, almost as an afterthought. “I can stay until the pain starts to fade.”
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Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2025 5:27 pm
Vyn issued no complaint as Aliez helped him up. He grimaced as his various aches and pains made themselves more apparent but settled back against the pillow comfortably enough. With another sigh, Vyn tipped his head and closed his eyes.
His clothes were filthy, his shirt torn. The bedding would have to be changed when he woke up.
“None of us are here to be seen,” Vyn argued, as gentle with his voice as Aliez was with his hands. Contradiction didn’t have to come with hostility. Vyn saved his spite for the ones who deserved it. “We’re here to serve a purpose. It was selfish of me to overlook that, but… I can’t imagine a single instance will do much harm.”
No one had to know. To the rest, it could be as if it never happened. Vyn would go about his business as the others went about theirs. Socializing didn’t require a confession. He wasn’t sure he’d be around long enough anyway. As soon as his knee was better, Vyn would be out searching again. He would only bring the mood down by staying. Let the others conduct their research in peace. If a Commander was needed, there were three more to choose from.
“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Vyn said, holding still as Aliez wrapped his knee. “You can stay longer, if you need. I know you haven’t slept.”
Aliez was transparent. Vyn knew his friend had been waiting, hoping he’d come back safe. He knew Aliez had been coming by the flower shop to reassure himself. He knew when Aliez tried to keep his distance out of respect and when he couldn’t make himself do so any longer. He knew, if things got worse, Aliez would tell Lyndin.
Maybe if he let himself be seen more often, if he offered a little honesty, Vyn could delay that inevitability.
“I don’t know that I want to sleep, even if I should,” he said. “I don’t want to dream. Sometimes the good ones are worse than the nightmares.”
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