Starfell Prompt : (3) meteor shower

He didn’t know what possessed him enough to not find a date for this festival. Every year, Hanako would have an arm around this year’s date, go through the festival briefly, and if the date is nice enough, they can extend their time together for the night. But there was always some sort of timer. An hourglass turned, waiting for the last grain of sand to drop to the bottom. Then before Hanako knew it, things were back to normal. Like a dream he woke up from it. The magic of the festival exists only briefly. Something that feels so good, can’t last afterall. That was his reasoning in finding not just anyone to the festival. They had to be charming, funny, easy on the eyes - of course- , and more importantly share the same thoughts as him. That temporary was what made the moment better.

But really, he knew that it wasn’t a magical dream he was waking up from. It was him that ran away from it. The potential future he was unwilling to face. The memories, conversations, and interactions that could come with shattering the hourglass timer he placed in the first place. People often mistake his casual carelessness and constant reminders that ‘he’s here for a fun time, not a long time’, for being in the moment. Present and merely concerned with what he could get right now to have fun. Often severely underestimating how every present decision he makes, was still future oriented. In fact, sometimes he obsesses over it.

He wouldn’t want to be hurt in the future, so he has to do everything he can now to ensure he will have safe moments. Is essentially where his thoughts always end up leading to. Fun is all good and all, in moderation. Maybe sometimes even excessively. But he usually would never compromise safely just for that.

But something felt a little different about this year’s festival. He woke up, washed, dressed, and ate breakfast while looking through his contacts list. Making a list of pros and cons of every name he sees on the list, until he stops. The oatmeal tasted suddenly extra bitter on his tongue as he blankly stared at the screen.

At first he didn’t even entertain the thought of attending alone. Using all sorts of excuses as to why he didn’t ‘feel like it’ today. The air would make his skin dry, the kids screeching and constant chatter would give him a headache, he forgot to wash his favourite shoes and he can’t go out in just any regular shoe. Endless streams of excuses, followed by thoughts that he really should stay at home. And the thought repeated in his head all the way until he found himself in the area where most people gathered to get a good sight of the meteor showers.

Seeing the first stars shooting didn’t spark anything special in him. He had seen them enough times already. It was the fact that he realised it had been literal years since he saw the showers from start to finish. Just as people dispersed and the crowd moved on to different activities, Hanako stayed. Somewhat overwhelmed that the mere gentle permission he gave to himself to stay felt so foreign. For this temporary moment, he lets himself ask silent answers, drowned too much by fear to expect an answer. When had he learned that staying was dangerous? How much longer should he turn the hourglass every time he meets someone new? Is there really a possibility that he could stay for someone from start to finish, the way he stayed for the meteor showers?

Just as he glanced away from the sky, the spell was broken. He was back to reality, letting a dry laugh as he brushed the front of his hair back. Wake up. He shrugged, exiting the area. Ignoring the unexplainable sudden thump in his heart. Even with slow steps as he walked, his heart seemed to be mistaken thinking he was running. That was the excuse he liked to use, anyway.

w.c: 677