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 Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2025 7:59 am
There was so much to do and so much to think about. The end of the school year seemed like such a strange concept when the world could potentially be ending. But Atticus went through the motions, just like everyone else. He said goodbye to his Dad, went to school with his Papa, met up with his friends and classmates and talked about homework and what they were doing that summer.
His teachers noticed his far off gaze and inability to pay attention, of course. He claimed he was fine, just tired and worried about doing well in his classes. His other friends who knew what was going on also walked around more sullen or reserved than usual. Just going through the motions of trying to make it through the day. Thinking about what could be done to make sure they did everything they could to prepare for what was coming.
What would the end of the world be like? Would it be fast? One minute they were there and then the next they weren’t? Would it be slower, with everything catching fire, unable to escape. The memory of being trapped in Elliot’s old house with the roof coming down and fire around them and calling his name--
Atticus jumped with a gasp when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and it took him a moment to realize where he was and what he was doing.
He was home, standing in front of the toaster oven as he warmed up a piece of bread--
Which had now turned black from being cooked for too long.
“Oh--” he winced as he stared at it, before quickly fumbling for the plate and fork he was going to use to scoop it out without burning his hands. He could barely see more than blurs anyway. He felt like he was walking around in a perpetual state of near tears, which absolutely didn’t help his excuses of just being tired.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2025 12:50 pm
Devyn smiled kindly at Atticus, unfazed by tears or the smell of burned bread. He placed his hand over Atticus’ and gently glided it to the bread, pulling it out and onto the plate. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Atticus! He just didn’t want him to hurt himself by frantically trying to get control of the situation.
“A new recipe?” Devyn asked, but as soon as the burnt toast was on the plate, he moved it out of reach of Atticus and began preparing a new slice for him.
His hand stayed on Atticus’ shoulder, gentle but not without weight.
“Do you just want toast? I was thinking about making a grilled cheese sandwich for myself, I could make one for you, too.
He’d been in the garage for a while; he’d tied his hair up so it was off his neck and would stay out of his face, and his sleeves were rolled up so he didn’t have to worry about them, either. He must have planned to take a break anyway; he smelled faintly of the fragranced soap Myles had made for him. He had a few fresh cuts on his hand, a testament only to how much time he’d spent working with Lucien on the shields slowly taking over their workspace.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2025 6:51 pm
Atticus visibly wilted. Not because of anything Devyn did or said, but because he was trying and able to accomplish anything. He wasn’t useful on the Moon, he couldn’t build intricate satellites that were supposed to protect the Earth and their family and friends, he couldn’t even make toast right.
“I was going to make you a sandwich,” he admitted as his voice wavered barely above a whisper. “I’m not that hungry.”
He hadn’t been hungry for weeks now. He ate, because he needed to. Because if he didn’t, then he would be even more useless. It was bad enough that he needed Elliot to stay the night with him more often than not, just to make sure he didn’t wake up from nightmares. He knew it was a strain on Elliot. It was a strain on his parents, too. Lucien managed to keep him relatively calm, usually.
The worst part was that he knew they would so kindly and compassionately tell him everything would be okay, and that it was okay that he was feeling upset, and that he could cry when he wanted, and that they would be there for him no matter what. He knew that. Which was why he was desperately trying to suck it up and not cry. To show them that he was okay.
Everything would be fine. He was just getting worked up over nothing. No one else seemed to be as upset as he was, so it was clearly all in his head.
“I’m sorry… I should have asked what you wanted.” As if he hadn’t already forgotten half of what was needed for a toasted sandwich since he’d only put in one slice. At least it was just one slice that was ruined.
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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2025 7:41 pm
“Ah, Atticus. What are you apologizing for? This is perfect. And it’ll taste all the better because you made it with love.”
As if Devyn would find a piece of burned bread intimidating; he’d have eaten anything.
“A sandwich sounds just as good. I was only trying to think of something delicious enough to entice you into a few bites.”
Gently, he squeezed Atticus’ shoulder. Without moving away, he continued to gather the ingredients that were within reach.
“You skipped breakfast this morning. When was the last time you ate something and kept it down?”
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 8:56 am
“Please don’t eat that!” Atticus gasped, looking up at Devyn with wide, horrified eyes. “It’s not perfect! You don’t have to pretend like it is, for me!”
He didn’t want anyone to pretend anything for him. He knew he was emotional. He knew his family and friends had to tiptoe around him to make sure he didn’t get upset. He hated that they couldn’t be honest with him because they knew how he could react to things.
Frustrated with himself, he bit down on his bottom lip, hoping it would keep it from visibly trembling. He knew this was why people worried about talking to him. He was just too emotional.
“Elliot had crackers for me at lunch. Julian shared some of his apple slices,” he mumbled as he lowered his eyes to the floor. He’d brought his own lunch that had been packed for him. And it was all delicious looking food. But he just couldn’t stomach it.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 8:59 am
Devyn paused. “Ah,” he said after a moment. “I won’t eat it if you don’t want me to. I’m sorry. But I wasn’t pretending.”
Atticus was a bundle of nerves. He looked like a spring ready to snap to life. Devyn had noticed it a while ago but it was only getting worse.
For a time, he’d respected Atticus’ attempts to keep everything bottled up, even if he was still heavily leaning on Elliot and Lucien. A hands off approach might not have been for the best.
“...Why don’t we go sit down together for a moment? I feel like I haven’t gotten to spend any time with you. I’ve missed you.”
And he could see that Atticus was having a hard time and trying very hard to keep it under wraps.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 10:07 am
Atticus didn’t know what to think. Sure, Devyn was probably used to eating some pretty weird things when he was trying to survive, but he’d been living with Michael for a few years now. In an even shorter time, Atticus hadn’t worried about what to eat. He definitely didn’t have to worry about trying to find bagels in dumpsters.
He knew Devyn was worried about him. He knew he’d been giving him space. Atticus had been trying to prove that he was fine, because in the end, they would all save the world just like they’ve been saying they would, and he would be left having worried over nothing.
“I’ve missed you, too,” he quietly choked on the emotion in his voice. He didn’t move, but he didn’t look like he was rebelling against the suggestion, either. He really just didn’t know where to go, so he stayed in place.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 12:22 pm
“Come on,” Devyn said, barely resisting the urge to just pick Atticus up and–no, he didn’t resist. He tried, he failed. He was going to give him a hug but he scooped him up instead so he could give him a full-body squeeze.
“You want to go to your room? I wouldn’t mind getting off my feet for a while. And you’ve got such nice pillows.”
Atticus had grown a bit since coming to live with Michael and Devyn but he probably wouldn’t get much bigger than this. He fit just as well now as he had the first time Devyn had scooped him up.
“I’d like to take you up to Alastor but that might require a bit of walking before we can get far enough away. Not off the table, though. Maybe in a little bit, if you’re up to it. How are you doing, Atticus? I know you’ve got a lot on your mind. Share with me?”
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 12:27 pm
Atticus would never get tired of being scooped up. He wrapped his arms around Devyn and rested his head against his shoulder. Like this, he could just close his eyes and feel safe. He liked it when Elliot did it, too, even if Elliot was still growing.
“We can go to my room,” he agreed. He would have liked to go to Alastor, but he was already taking up so much of Devyn’s time. He could have been working more on the satellites, but instead he was taking time to make sure he was okay.
He didn’t know if he wanted to share what was on his mind. He knew it was dumb. He knew he was worrying for nothing. He was supposed to be the optimist. They all trusted him to look on the positive side of things. But he was so scared that they wouldn’t have enough to defeat this monster. And everyone was acting so casual about it.
“I’ll be okay when this trouble passes,” he promised, because that was all he could do. Wait for things to be fixed and then move on like the world wasn’t in danger.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 1:04 pm
“I know,” Devyn answered, “But you’re not okay now. That’s what I’m worried about.”
Atticus was weightless in his arms so he carried him effortlessly to his room, maneuvering easily and without bumping him on anything. He laid Atticus down on the far side of his bed and then sat down next to him.
He’d made sure to angle Atticus so he was comfortable on his pillows, and he propped himself up on one too so he could turn and face him. When Devyn wasn’t feeling well, or when he was stressed, he’d always liked when someone played with his hair. So, without much thought, he combed his fingers lightly through Atticus’.
“It’s a lot of pressure, yeah? On a scale from one to ten, how are you holding up?”
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 1:11 pm
He wanted to just wilt and cling and cry, but he knew it would be a waste of time and energy for everyone. Soon, everything would go back to normal. He just had to make it until then.
Once he was on the bed, Atticus reached for a stuffed bear that Elliot got him. He gave it a squeeze, and it was almost like having Elliot there with him. Sometimes he worried he was too clingy, but Elliot always insisted that he didn’t mind. Atticus hoped he would never change his mind, because if he did, Atticus would probably be devastated.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled, not trying to be defiant or stubborn, but how was he supposed to decide how he was holding up? He could fake it, probably. “Three I guess.” Or less, he wasn’t sure. Compared to everyone else, he was sure it was a zero. At least Julian seemed somewhat freaked out about things, but then again… Julian usually seemed a bit scared of everything, even if he was trying to pretend like he wasn’t. He hated that, for his friend.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 2:40 pm
“Three? Okay.” Devyn considered this for a moment. He took his time to process it, and just scooted closer to Atticus while stroking his hair.
“I think I was a one the first time I faced something pretty scary. It wasn’t anything this big, I think, but it felt like it back then. I don’t know if I can imagine what I’d be on that scale if I were in your shoes, today. Probably still pretty low. "
Laying down, it was easy to melt into the bed a bit. Devyn had been pushing himself harder lately and it showed, some. He seemed to have a near infinite stockpile of energy but he appreciated a few slow moments of reprieve.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 4:44 pm
As Devyn moved closer, Atticus shifted a bit as well. He wanted to stay close where he felt safe. Devyn made him feel safe, even with everything going on.
He squeezed the bear again, but didn’t move away from Devyn playing with his hair.
“What happened?” he asked, unable to stop his curiosity. He was scared for Devyn, even though it obviously happened a long time ago.
“I wish I didn’t feel this way. I don’t know why I do, when it seems like everyone thinks things will just be okay. I feel like I’m overreacting. Or maybe not understanding something.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 6:18 pm
“You’re not overreacting. I think it’s very normal to be scared. Everyone’s probably just trying to force it into fuel. Nobody wants to think about what will happen if things don’t work out how they want. It’s a coping mechanism, I think. And then, some people think, with absolute certainty, that things will be okay. I’ve got a foot in each boat, to be honest.”
Devyn had made himself comfortable but he was more concerned with making sure Atticus could find some peace or logic in all of this.
“If we’re being completely honest, I can’t say I’ve ever faced anything quite like this before. So it’s a bit intimidating. I don’t like going into any fight without knowing my enemy. But, I’ve also never left a fight in worse condition than my opponent. And it’s not just me going into this, it’s everyone. Senshi, Knights. The Vanguardians, the Dark Mirror Senshi, the Negaverse. Saving Earth is important to everyone. And I bet there’s never been a world that had this many people like us ready to defend it.
“But just because there’s a lot of us doesn’t mean it’s wrong to worry. I’ve been thinking about ways this could all go wrong, too. I like to be prepared. I used to just rush into fights because I had to. It was expected of me. Sometimes you don’t have the benefit of planning, you’ve just got to follow your gut. I’ve had a lot of time to develop my instincts. But, once, a long time ago, I didn’t have that experience. I saw a lot of problems that felt hopeless. But, you can’t give up. If you stop fighting, that’s that. I learned to keep pushing, even when everything felt lost. And, credit to my world, but I’m still here. My world gave me the strength to keep fighting on. Who’s to say Earth won’t do the same for everyone trying to protect it? Or the Moon? I think we’ve got more people rooting for us than we know. We’ve got support from places we can’t even imagine. But. That doesn’t mean you can’t still be anxious. There’s a lot going on. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling bad. Would you feel better if I told you the story about the first time I faced something truly terrifying on my own? I cried afterwards. I had so many emotions, I didn’t know what to do with them.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2025 7:05 pm
It was difficult to not think he was overreacting when everyone else seemed like they were ready to face the threat head on. He was scared. Because it wasn’t just Earth he worried about, but his family and friends and everyone else, too. They were all going to fight, and they would all be putting themselves at risk.
What if his magic wasn’t enough to help? What if someone desperately needed healing, but he couldn’t get to them? There were others, of course. Dering had shield magic, and Stirling did, too. And there were others with healing magic, so it wasn’t like they would all be stuck relying on him.
But he still worried. And he knew it was a burden on others to know he was worrying.
“I would like to know, yes,” he quietly agreed to listen to the story about the first time Devyn faced something truly terrifying. He was a little worried that he would be scared to hear about it, but he knew Devyn was at least safe now.
Although, before Devyn could even start, Atticus squeezed his bear tightly and looked up at him with tear filled eyes.
“Do you think I’m giving up?”
If his behavior and actions made it seem that way… oh… he would be really upset with himself. Did everyone think he was giving up because he was worried?
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