He gave up trying to get to Reims.

Already exhausted, Riker let go of his Knight form, and sank into the cold grass. Above him, strange purple clouds and lightning seemed to fizzle through the sky.

He knew he should call Evan for help. But Evan already did so much for him. And he would just worry Julian. He could try hiding out at the Celestial Theatre again, but the last time he did, the Code brought help that he didn’t want, although he’d been reluctantly grateful in the end. He had other friends that he knew would help him.

But he didn’t want their pity. Didn’t want to burden them.

He was seventeen, and he couldn’t even think about celebrating any more.

Maybe that was what he got for thinking he could be happy that day, anyway.

It had been a good day. His friends had surprised him with an invite to Evan’s house for cake and presents after school. He was happy. He wished Énna had been there, but he understood why it wasn’t fair of him to even hope for that.

But his other friends were there, and Evan made so much food. It was nice to hang out with them for a few hours and talk and laugh and blow out candles and open presents and try not to cry about it. For a long time, it had only been Dawn who gave him presents for his birthday and Christmas. Then with his baseball team it was Elliot and Cassidy. It wasn’t until now that he realized how important they’d all been to him for so many years even if he didn’t realize it.

Which was why he knew they would help him if he asked. But he felt too guilty and shameful and prideful to ask. Somehow this was his fault.

He hadn’t wanted to leave Evan’s house, but explained that his mom liked to do her little show and tell with his birthday. It was mostly just dressing up the house and having a nice cake for pictures and posting on social media.

But to Riker, this was the closest he’d get to her. Even if it was just long enough for her to take pictures, he could also pretend that her smiles were genuine, and that everything she did was actually for him and not just for show.

He knew better. He thought he knew better. After seventeen years, one would think he’d realize that she would never change. That he was only there because she couldn’t legally get rid of him.

Or so he thought.

She was furious when he’d arrived home. Said he ruined everything. That wasn’t unusual, of course. He swore he could smell the alcohol from the front door. He braced himself, hoping to calm her down, to let her take out her frustration on him for every heartbreak he’d caused her. He’d ruined their family by being born, he knew that. By not having the right color hair or eyes. Maybe if he had blond and with blue eyes like his mother and brother, things would have been different.

Objectively, he knew that was ridiculous. He knew it wasn’t his fault. But how was he supposed to just accept that the woman whom he’d only ever wanted love from… would only ever hate him?

Riker pressed his hands over his eyes, as if doing so would stop the tears from falling. She didn’t even know how old he was. At some point in the fight, she’d said something about how she didn’t have any use for him any more. Right before shoving him out of the house.

And all he could do was stare speechlessly at the closed door, watching as his breath puffed out in front of him. She didn’t let him get his coat before locking him out. He didn’t have his keys, his phone. He tried to get in through his bedroom window, but it had been locked. He never locked it for this very reason. <********>” he hissed, knowing that he couldn’t stay out in the cold. He couldn’t get to Reims. He didn’t want to go to the Moon to get harassed by the Code. He didn’t want to worry Evan. Dawn lived on the other side of town. Same with Maisie. Elliot and Atticus had already done so much for him.

He didn’t even know where Énna lived, but part of him expected Énna to just shrug and tell him it was what he deserved. And he would have accepted that.

Cassidy didn’t live too far away, but his dad was likely home, and Riker really didn’t want to show up looking like… well, he wasn’t sure what he looked like. He hadn’t had a chance to really look himself over. He just knew he was cold and ached. There was a chance that Cassidy wasn’t even home yet…

Scrubbing his face with his palms, Riker finally pushed himself up. He didn’t know what was going to happen to him now, but he didn’t have the energy to figure things out now.

Now if only the strange weather phenomena would clear up, because he was going to start thinking something else bad would happen.