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 Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 6:49 pm
He always slept more peacefully in Julian’s bed than he ever had in his own. Maybe it was because he wasn’t alone. Or maybe because he knew he could trust Julian. He was allowed a certain calm and safety there, but sometimes he didn’t think he deserved it. Maybe things were as they were because it was karma for everything he’d done.
There was some light coming through the curtains by the time he finally woke up enough to open his eyes. Julian’s arm was still over him, and he could appreciate the warmth of him against his back.
He knew he would worry him. He was sure the bruises were worse that morning than they had been the night before. His hands had been patched up, but Julian hadn’t seen them in the dark.
Not knowing if Julian was just pretending to be asleep, or if him being there just lulled him into enough comfortable rest that he didn’t stir yet, Riker carefully turned himself over so he could wrap his arm in return around Julian under the blankets, and tuck his head under his chin.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 6:50 pm
Truthfully, Julian had been awake twice before Riker woke up. Once, he was able to go back to sleep. Now, he was just enjoying the warm bed and the quiet of the early morning. He was sure if he moved he’d wake up Riker. Maxim had left already, which made Julian think that someone was up making breakfast already.
By the time Riker had tucked Julian under his chin, he was already trying to figure out if Riker was awake, too. There were subtle changes, mostly in his breathing. Julian had stayed extra quiet when he noticed, only because he knew Riker was up so late. If Julian was awake, Riker would force himself to wake up even if he was exhausted. If Riker thought Julian was sleeping, he might try to go back to sleep.
He’d probably been caught. Julian smiled into the hug, and then laughed as he folded into Riker.
“Good morning,” he whispered, “Are you trying to go back to sleep or trying to wake up?”
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:06 pm
“Good morning. I haven’t decided yet,” Riker hummed thoughtfully as he gave Julian a squeeze and let out a long sigh. He could probably sleep longer, but--
“I think I smell bacon,” he mumbled sleepily. “I hope Evan spoils you as much as he spoils us when I’m here.” He smiled a little to himself as he thought about it. He hoped Evan didn’t play favorites when it came to treatment, but if he did, well… Riker would be flattered, although would feel a little guilty about it.
He knew it would be just a matter of time before Julian pulled back to get a look at him. So he sighed once more and mumbled against Julian’s hair.
“It’s not as bad as it looks, I promise. I’m okay. I just don’t want you to be upset.”
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:08 pm
Julian hummed softly but didn’t try to move. “I already saw,” he admitted. “When I heard the back door this morning, I woke up for a little while. I’m not upset, but I did worry about you. You just looked so tired so I went back to bed, too.”
He didn’t ask what happened. Maybe, in his heart, he knew. But he didn’t want to put Riker on the spot. He said he was okay, and Julian wasn’t going to try and pry more information out of him.
There was a trust between them. He didn’t need to know everything about what happened, or didn’t happen. Iit didn’t change that he cared, or that he’d worried. Enough people would badger Riker with questions later, especially with bruises like those all over his face.
“It looks like it hurts a lot, are you sure it’s not as bad as it looks?”
…Had Riker even seen how bad it looked?
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:13 pm
“Evan gave me some medicine. I’ll take some more when we go downstairs,” he promised, rubbing Julian’s back to try and reassure him. He felt a little guilty that Julian already saw, but… at least he wasn’t making a big deal about it.
It wasn’t the first and it wouldn’t be the last.
“You think I should, I don’t know… put a bag over my head? Would that make it less embarrassing to be seen with me?” he snickered, knowing that Julian wouldn’t agree to something like that. Julian was so sweet, though. And Riker was willing to say anything to get Julian’s mind off things.
“You’ll have to show me what you got for Christmas. I brought some stuff over. Ah, but some of it got a little broken, so Evan was going to take me shopping. If you don’t have any plans, would you like to come, too?”
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:27 pm
“I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you! Don’t put a bag over your head.” He was probably just being silly to make Julian more comfortable but it did help.
“I don’t have anything I need to do today, I’d like to come with you. Your things got broken?” he sounded worried still, heart heavy. He was glad Evan had already offered to take Riker out, of course Julian would want to tag along. Maybe he could even help find whatever Riker was looking for.
In the light of a new day, there was an array of unpacked boxes in Julian’s room–gifts that he hadn’t quite figured out what to do with or where to put. But, more interesting, next to the cardboard boxes that had been carefully sorted already was one large box, still wrapped.
And a red stocking, a little more than a foot long, stuffed to the brim and hanging from the wall.
Riker’s name had been piped onto it with glitter paint.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:31 pm
Riker was pleased to hear that Julian would like to go with him. Sure, there was some stationary that he would have liked to give him, but now he could just pick some out for himself. He had another small box wrapped up that hadn’t been damaged, at least.
“Yeah, it’s okay. I just hope I can replace everything.”
Finally, Riker pushed himself up. But it wasn’t without a groan. He’d been warm and comfortable, but he knew Evan was probably pacing downstairs. It didn’t take much for him to see the stocking with his name on it.
He paused, staring at it for a long moment. His chest felt tight and strange. It was always weird to see people thinking about him.
“You got me a stocking?” he asked a little meekly, like he wasn’t entirely sure if it was just a prank, or if it was just for show. It wouldn’t be the first stocking that he couldn’t have the things inside.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:42 pm
“Oh, I did,” Julian said, sitting up after Riker did. He wiped at his eyes and rubbed at his cheeks and then quickly corrected, “I mean, no! I didn’t! That one’s from Santa, I just forgot.”
He offered a shy smile, because even when being playful, he wasn't very good at lying. He wasn’t really trying to be deceptive, though.
“Most of it isn’t very exciting,” he admitted, “So don’t think I went–Santa went–overboard. He put a lot of thought into it but, um, I think he realized that he doesn’t know much about what’s–no, that doesn’t work. Santa would know how to stuff a stocking. Okay, it was me,” he said, because the charade was neither convincing nor easy to keep up.
“This was the first time I made a stocking. Um, and the first time I’m really celebrating Christmas.” He’d had shades of Christmas but never the real thing. Not like this, not like how they celebrated here. Like a real family.
“So I might not be really good at it yet. But I did my best! You don’t have to open anything now, but they’re there for you when you’re ready. It could be before or after dinner. When I’m here, or not. But the stocking is yours, and the big box next to it.”
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 7:57 pm
His lip twitched into a grin as he listened to Julian try and explain how the stocking got there. How could he not turn to watch Julian with interest as he fumbled over his story about whether it was Santa or not? It was incredibly endearing, and just like Julian.
“Oh, is that so?” Riker hummed thoughtfully, before leaning close to wrap his arms around Julian’s waist to pull him close--
So he could lightly dig his fingers into Julian’s ribs to tickle him.
“I didn’t realize Santa was so cute! If I had to pick seeing you at the mall or some old guy in a red suit, I’d definitely pick you,” he snickered as he tickled him. Lightly! He didn’t want to hurt Julian or make him unable to breathe! But he was being silly, so of course Riker was going to be silly in return. Sure, some of his wounds on his hands hurt as he pressed them against Julian, but it was fine. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
“You’re so sweet,” he said as he let Julian have a chance to fully breathe.
“Thank you. This is probably my first real stocking. My mother would fill up a stocking and take pictures but nothing was actually for me. It was just to look nice. So… thank you. I wish I’d thought about doing one for you, too. Evan said I can spend Christmas with you all next year, though,” he shared as he eyed the big box as well. He was a little nervous about opening it. He didn’t want to get something really awesome and then disappoint Julian with the gift he got for him!
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:01 pm
Julian didn’t always let down his guard enough to let himself be tickled, but he’d just woken up and he was safe in bed and he was with Riker. He didn’t feel the piercing anxiety of someone being too close, of being in his space. Tickling was its own kind of torment but it summoned a laughter he usually buried too deeply to come out.
It wasn’t enough to burn, or to make his skin crawl. Julian didn’t lose the ability to breathe and it wasn’t even enough to make him cry.
He could just laugh.
“Please be here for next Christmas! If you can,” he added, because he knew it was already a great deal of pressure to try and manage his mother’s agenda. Julian placed his hands gently over Riker’s, not to deter him from more tickling, but just because in the light he could see how scratched up they were, too.
“I got a stocking,” he promised. “I was worried you wouldn’t. So I wanted to make sure. I already have ideas for next year, but I might not wait that long. We’ll see what holidays happen between now and then, if I can sneak something in. Oh, um–those are both for you. It’s–well, you’ll see why I got the stocking, the big one is–well, no, I’ll let you open it. You’ll understand when you see it. Oh, sorry. I’m not trying to talk in riddles, it’s just that I don’t want to ruin the surprise. But also surprises make me anxious. Ah,” it was too early for this, he rubbed his face and then returned his hands to Riker.
“Do you want to open them now or after breakfast? Or I can just bring breakfast up here and we can do both at the same time!” Julian had leaned forward a bit in his enthusiasm but was quick to reel himself back in. “Sorry, I think I’m excited. But whatever you choose is the right answer!”
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:07 pm
“Your nervous excitement is making me nervous! And excited,” Riker laughed, even as he still warily eyed the big box. He drew in a breath -- after giving Julian one more dig of his fingers into his sides -- and slid off the bed to pick up first the box, and once it was set on the bed near Julian’s feet, he went back to get the stocking as well.
He could open both with Julian. So… he went over to get the wrapped box from his own plastic bag. One of the few things he’d managed to wrap. It was in whatever generic holiday paper he could get his hands on. Which he’d been accused of stealing, despite the fact that he’d purchased it with his own money.
“Sorry, I hope it’s not too boring,” he said as he sat back down on the bed and handed the box to Julian. It wasn’t too small, but it wasn’t big either. “Let’s open them now,” he suggested.
He knew Julian had noticed his hands, but he was doing his best to ignore them. Maybe if he pretended he didn’t know what was going on with them, then he wouldn’t worry Julian as much.
Inside Julian’s box, he would find a matching set. First, a white mug with kitty ears and a face and tail for the handle. It came with a spoon with a handle shaped like a paw. And with it was a warming pad that the mug (or other things, according to the box) could be set on and Julian wouldn’t have to worry about his drink getting cold.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:12 pm
Julian’s eyes lit up when Riker presented him with a gift, and though it was clear that he hadn’t expected anything in exchange he was still delighted with the prospect. He was careful to accept it, and his fingers brushed gently across the back of Riker’s hands even as he gave soft thanks.
Typically patient, Julian suddenly found it surprisingly difficult to restrain himself. The fact that Riker had thought about him was more than enough but he did want to see what Riker had wanted to share with him. Instead of tearing the paper, he peeled back the tape as if he were afraid to damage Riker’s hard work.
He kept glancing at Riker to make sure he was opening his presents, too.
Julian finished opening his first, despite his best efforts to delay it. “Riker, this isn’t boring at all! This is perfect. I forgot about my hot chocolate for so long it got cold, just last night. I love it, this was really thoughtful. Thank you. Oh, and Soleiyu will love it, too.”
A smile etched onto his face and he was alternating between admiring the gift and looking over so he could watch Riker open his, too.
Julian had spent a lot of time trying to make sure it was perfect. Or, at least, as perfect as he could get it. He wasn’t particularly experienced with wrapping gifts, and no one would claim he was a professional but it was clear that despite the imperfections in his technique he had still done his best.
Inside the snowflake printed paper was a nondescript cardboard box, notable only for its easy to remove lid. Inside that, a guitar. Or, an instrument that was close enough to pass for one. It was made of black wood with a slightly pearlescent lustre, visible only when the light caught it just right. More noticeable were the bright, pearlescent flowers inlaid on the instrument. Each piece was a tiny mosaic, made up of what looked like bright, beautiful mother-of-pearl pieces.
“Um, you were talking about playing for a while, I know we were trying to find you an instrument,” Julian explained. His own lute had the same pastel mother-of-pearl front so it probably wasn’t surprising when he continued, “I found this on my Wonder, a little while ago. It was a little more beat up, and it made a weird sound when you tried to play it. It wasn’t just the strings. But I thought of you, and how you mentioned wanting to learn, so–I brought it back and, um, well I asked Mr. Reid–um, Asher,” as if it really needed to be explained, “if he could help me figure out what was wrong with it. He fixed it up so it sounds right, now. Atticus and his dad repaired some of the broken pieces on the flowers and made new tuning pegs to match. Mr. Reid says if you want lessons you can come by, but–well, I understand if you might want to get a different guitar! But he said this one could be a good starter. He said, um, that it ‘had spirit’. I don’t really know what that means but he made it sound good.”
The stocking, while less exciting, was stuffed with thoughtful necessities. He’d gotten Riker’s usuals–refills on soaps and toothpaste and shampoos, all carefully selected to match what he already knew Riker liked–and what wouldn’t poison him. There was chapstick and sunscreen, bandaids and socks, some gum and candy–carefully selected and properly vetted to be safe for Riker’s consumption, some school supplies. A pack of guitar picks, a box of strings, and a comfortable strap.
A few more little things were tucked in the stocking but Julian had done his best to account for a wide variety of things Riker would need. It wasn’t exciting! But they were things that would be used, and most of them were things Julian was always stressed about when he was running low.
Riker had enough stress to deal with, he just wanted to take a little off of his plate.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:13 pm
Riker watched, of course. He liked the way Julian’s eyes lit up. The way he smiled. The way Julian was so gentle with his injured hands. The touch, Riker knew, didn’t mean anything. Julian was sweet and caring, but Riker could feel his ears burn.
And when it was his turn, already pleased that Julian sounded so happy about his silly little present, he couldn’t help but smile at Julian’s enthusiasm as he very carefully unwrapped the box, making sure to fold up any large pieces of paper for easy disposal.
He hadn’t expected a guitar. Much less a guitar from Dering.
Riker stared at it for a long moment, fingers reaching out to very delicately touch the inlaid floral patterns, then over the strings, before finally lifting it from the box.
“This is beautiful, Jules. Are you sure? I mean-- thank you.” The words came out somewhat breathlessly. He was already flustered by Julian’s kindness and gentle consideration for his well being -- Riker easily noticed how nothing had coconut on the label -- but this gift was more than he could have imagined. Even with the stocking emptied and spread out on the bed, he couldn’t help but almost reverently trace his fingers over the instrument.
But just saying thank you wasn’t good enough. So he gently set the guitar aside, and scooted over to sit beside Julian and wrapped his arms around him. This way, Julian wouldn’t be able to see the way his eyes were suddenly a little misty.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:19 pm
Eagerly, Julian nodded. Of course he was sure! He’d spent a lot of time thinking about it and weighing his options. The biggest quest was if he was allowed to give away something that didn’t belong to him, and he’d spent a lot of time on Dering wondering, meditating, looking for an answer.
The room he’d found it in had many instruments, all in varying condition. The guitar, on its own, hadn’t stood out much. There were a few others, with different designs and in different conditions.
This one was the one that made him think about Riker.
So, over the span of a few more trips, he’d weighed his options and he’d always come back to it.
Thanks would have been more than enough, but Julian opened his arms to return Riker’s embrace. He tucked his chin close and smiled. “I bet it’ll be happy to have someone who wants to play it. I read a legend a while ago, how instruments have, um, souls?”
Julian spoke quietly as he stroked down Riker’s back. The mug was balanced in his lap and he was posed to make sure it didn’t tumble away. “I don’t know if it’s true. But I think of my violin as an extension of myself, so maybe it is, in a way. And I just thought, there are so many pieces down there that haven’t been played in so long. I thought they might be lonely. I don’t think I could get them all fixed and cleaned up but I knew I could trust you with one of them. I knew you’d take good care of it. I don’t have a case for it yet, but soon. And you can keep it here if you want, um, just in case.”
He knew Riker’s family was unkind to him; there was a reason all of his gifts were things that didn’t need to be taken somewhere else. He wouldn’t have forced Riker to keep anything here if he didn’t want to but he always made sure he had plenty of space for them, just in case.
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Posted: Fri Jan 24, 2025 8:19 pm
“Yeah, I’d like to keep it here, if you don’t mind.” He knew Julian wouldn’t. It was getting more and more difficult to leave. But he knew the cops might get involved if his mother put up enough of a fuss. She didn’t even care if he was there at her home. She just didn’t want him enjoying himself.
“And I’d like to learn. Maybe you can show me the basics? Or we could learn together.” After all, a lute was kind of like a guitar. And this wasn’t exactly like a guitar, but close enough.
“I’ll definitely take good care of it. I’ll have to learn enough songs so we can play together. You think Zac would get mad at us if he didn’t soundproof your room well enough?” he gently teased.
He gave Julian another squeeze, and when he was sure he had his emotions under control, he turned his head to press a kiss against Julian’s temple.
“I hope you know how special you are to me. Thank you for giving me a chance,” he whispered.
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