Kaelan decorated for Christmas. Better than last year, too. They’d swapped out the mini tree for half of a six foot tall tree, which really, Kaelan had already practiced his spiel about how he was going to insist it was even better than the full thing! They didn’t have that much space, after all–and Jett was just going to throw it away. Such was the case with much of what they owned–broken or heavily discounted.

It still felt like home.

They didn’t need to scrimp and save like they did–they could have bought things.

The future was just so uncertain and Kaelan was just so nervous, it made more sense to put every penny they could into saving. Orien didn’t seem to mind; he let Kaelan take care of most of the finances. The bills got paid on time. They were fed. They had warm clothes and good shoes.

The Christmas tree was missing a few pieces, and Jett didn’t think it was worth the investment to scout for what he needed to make a full set. Kaelan was glad to take it off his hands because he didn’t mind a little duct tape in his Christmas tree. The ornaments and lights had been thrown away but Kaelan took a risk and grabbed them. Some of the ornaments were missing and some had green spray paint, most certainly to deter people from picking them out of the dumpster (or, in his case, from the cart they’d left by the dumpster and just hadn’t gotten to throwing away yet). He still had enough good ornaments to fill the whole tree. The lights weren’t even broken, they just needed a few bulbs and the fuse replaced. He didn’t have a tree topper so he’d cut out a yellow star and taped it to the wall for now.

Kaelan was frugal in nearly all aspects of his life. Everything had to be on a budget in case something went wrong. Orien was seeing doctors now, and Jett made sure they had good insurance to cover it all, but as soon as they could figure out something to help him they were probably going to need money, and Kaelan wasn’t going to let anything stop Orien from getting everything he needed.

Their apartment was a little crowded but the tree was out of the way as much as possible. It didn’t have to be up for long. The rest of the decorations were cheap, trash and pennies, but he put his heart into decorating anyway. Cleaning out one of the storage units meant there were unsellable sentimental items, but instead of throwing away the vintage Christmas cards that meant enough to someone to keep, he used the fronts of the nicer looking ones and taped them to the wall, or put them on the fridge.

Not too much, he didn’t want it to be overwhelming. They had sticky notes everywhere, and a big calendar so he could make sure Orien always knew what was going on.

Today was Kaelan’s first day ‘off’ in a few weeks, between school and finals and work, and the only reason he hadn’t gone to work with Orien was because he had a scheduled meeting with his probation office and even if things had been going well, he always expected some sudden 180. He’d been assured that these meetings would end one day but until then he was always so anxious. What if he slipped up and told them he was a Dark Mirror Senshi or something? What if he looked at them the wrong way and they decided he should be in jail?

He was sick thinking about it now, even though the conversation had taken a total of twenty minutes and they’d just asked about school, about work, about if he was doing anything for the holidays.

He panicked and exaggerated how much he had going on for the holidays, because they always liked to hear about those community ties. Even though it seemed to make her happy to hear, Kaelan was still paranoid that there would be officers banging on his door tonight to verify that, yes, he had decorated already, and their apartment was full of Christmas magic.

So he’d gone into overdrive as soon as he’d gotten home, and now he was cooking dinner. He wasn’t recording the process this time; it was a meal they’d had plenty of times before so there was no need to document it. What had started as a school product had turned into something bigger; he had to record himself giving a lesson on how to do something. So, he’d chosen to do a cooking video–because he was short on time and they needed to eat.

He’d chosen chickpea alfredo with spring veggies so his teacher couldn’t accuse him of trying to do something easy, and he’d made two versions of the video–the first, to do a real time tutorial, and a shorter one that he properly edited.

He hadn’t planned to make any more after that point in time, until his nutrition class wanted a project where he was demonstrating what he’d learned.

Instead of using the first video, he made a second one–stuffed poblanos, this time where he also included more nutritional info.

That one had gone over well, too.

And then he’d started thinking–what if he was in the hospital, or got thrown in jail, or if he was too sick to cook? They couldn’t just order out, that was so much money–and he’d taken over the kitchen so much, what if Orien needed to cook?

So, he started recording himself as he made more meals, and then he uploaded them online, and for a while nobody watched them. But that was okay, because he made them for Orien.

And then somebody liked a video, and then a few more trickled in. Then there were comments. Kaelan didn’t want to pay attention to them, he was afraid of social media and was terrified someone might recognize him and try to sabotage everything he and Orien had worked on, or even just that they might say something mean.

He was lucky, in that most of the comments were kind. Some of them asked questions, which he was always quick to answer. Some of them asked if he could make a certain recipe.

Kaelan had always had a hard time saying no. So, he made more videos–long form and short form, where he discussed the nutrition and balance of each ingredient, and only ever chose low cost and affordable ingredients.

Because those were things that would have meant a lot to him when he needed someone to teach him. He wasn’t the most educated, or the best cook, or the best teacher, but he was trying. This was supposed to help Orien but if it could help anyone else along the way, who was it hurting? Anyway, he’d learned a few new recipes and even made a few of his own, so things were going well.

He’d passed all his classes, too. So far. He knew it was only going to get harder, but he’d already gotten his books for next semester–sort of. He was borrowing them and was halfway through scanning the two books he couldn’t access for free online. It was a lot of work but he was going to save almost two hundred dollars in rental fees, he just had to have them back before the semester started.

Jett was letting him use the scanner in the office for free, so he was coming in a little early for his shifts, and making good use of his breaks. So that was another few dollars they could save.

There were rumors that rent was going to be raising soon, and even though they’d opted for the longest lease available to them, they were still going to have to renew next year. Prices were going up everywhere and he didn’t want to be caught unawares. Even though they’d been lucky without any major expenses recently, they still had plenty to worry about. How long before Orien's car gave out? Or before something went wrong with their phones? No, he wasn't allowed to think about that; he didn't want to jinx it. They'd have minor expenses, they always did–food, clothes, school–they should really get health check ups, and–

It was a lot to keep in mind. They were doing well so far, but it was only a matter of time before luck balanced out. Traditionally, neither of them had very good luck but Kaelan was afraid that if they got too used to things going well that they'd be totally unprepared for when things came crashing down.

But he'd spent enough time worrying about things today! He'd nearly made himself sick with worry this morning and it had taken all day to calm down, and countless hours of self-soothing to 'make Christmas'.

He was more than ready for Orien to be home already but he knew he still had a bit of time before he got home.

Hopefully, just enough time to finish dinner.