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 Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 6:04 pm
Evan was too anxious to yawn. Nobody liked a late night phone call but at least nobody was dying. He hoped. He’d been up since early that morning and only been asleep for half an hour or so when Riker asked for a ride.
It had been chilly when he went to bed. It was snowing now.
He’d thrown on a jacket but he hadn’t even changed out of his pajamas. He was lucky he made it out of the house with his shoes on.
The bus stop wasn’t too far away but it wouldn’t have mattered if it was three states away, he’d have come all the same. The street lamps were still decorated with holiday tinsel and decor but why shouldn’t they be? It was still Christmas for another hour on the west coast.
It hadn’t taken long for the car to warm up; he’d taken Zac’s. Maxim had wanted to come but Evan didn’t know what he was getting into. Even now, he wasn’t quite sure. He’d tried to call Riker back just to keep him company but the phone wasn’t connecting. He didn’t know if that meant there was just bad service or if Riker’s phone had died so it only encouraged him to drive a little quicker.
At this hour, there wasn’t really anyone on the road–which was good and bad.
He hoped that meant no one was giving Riker trouble.
Or, more trouble. But staying inside and away from the world didn’t exactly grant him the protection it should have.
Three streets away. Two.
Evan looked at every bus stop he passed like Riker was going to be there, and he worried when he wasn’t–until he turned the corner and there, finally, he found him.
It was hard to breathe a sigh of relief until he knew it was Riker, until he knew he was okay. He rolled up to the bus stop and put the car in park so he could stretch across the seat and open the door. “Riker!” he called. The cold outside air immediately assaulted him but he didn’t retreat back into the warmth of the car. “Come on, come warm up. It’s freezing outside!”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 6:15 pm
It wasn’t clear whether Riker just wasn’t paying attention, or if he was hesitating on getting into the car, but after a moment he took a step forward and sat in the front seat, pulling the door closed behind him.
He didn’t say anything -- what was there to say? It looked like he’d been in such a rush that he hadn’t grabbed a jacket on the way out -- not that it mattered. The cold of the snow numbed everything enough that it was no longer painful.
He at least wore jeans and his normal zip up hoodie, but the only other thing he had with him was a bag of half wrapped boxes and items.
While he knew Evan was doing him a favor and that he should thank him, he couldn’t bring himself to look Evan in the eye just yet. Instead, Riker secured his seatbelt and then slunk down in his seat, looking out the window at the holiday lights still decorating the streets.
His lip was still bleeding. He could taste it. Metallic and enough to make his stomach twist uncomfortably. But he didn’t want Evan to see it. Not yet at least. Nor did he want him to see anything else that obviously prompted the late night call.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 6:18 pm
Evan hadn’t expected Riker to be in a good mood. It was the middle of the night. He’d been sitting out here in the cold for who knew how long? Evan sat upright in his seat and though he planted both hands on the wheel, he didn’t start driving.
Riker was here but he was hiding from him.
He wasn’t dressed to be out in this weather at all. He must have been in a rush to get here.
“Riker, you’re so cold I can feel you over here,” Evan said. His voice had softened, like he was now worried about being too intrusive. He wriggled out of the jacket he’d thrown on and passed it over, but Riker’s face was turned away from him so he didn’t even know that he’d see it. Evan draped it over him like a blanket, instead.
He didn’t want to get in his space. Riker still hadn’t said anything. Evan’s stomach had started to churn uncomfortably as the nerves started to set in.
There were a million questions he wanted to ask but he didn’t, even though it felt like his tongue was on fire.
Instead, he cast Riker one more worried look before he turned his eyes to the road and put the car in drive.
Riker knew he had questions. Riker knew he was worrying.
Evan knew it was hard to ask for help.
He wasn’t going to make this any harder by pressing for more information than Riker was ready to give.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 6:19 pm
Of course Evan was worried. It was in his nature to worry. Riker felt bad about not reassuring him immediately, but he just didn’t know what to say or what to do. He felt like if he opened his mouth, he might end up falling apart. He wanted to at least settle himself before making things worse.
He at least acknowledged Evan’s gesture by adjusting the jacket over himself. Now that he was in the warmth of the car it was easy to start shivering. And he was grateful. So grateful that he had people who cared about him. And Evan who would drop anything for him.
The car ride was silent. Riker was still trying to figure out what he could possibly say by the time they pulled into the driveway to Evan’s house. Riker didn’t linger in the car. He didn’t want to. He wanted to get inside where it was warm and where Evan could start to relax again.
Well… he doubted he’d relax after having to drop everything to race out to get him.
Riker waited until they were inside with the door locked behind them to wrap his arms around Evan and bury his face against his shoulder.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:12 pm
Evan was ready to be inside. He parked a little crooked but he didn’t take the time to try and straighten it out. Zac could scold him in the morning. The silent ride back felt like it took an eternity but he did his best to stay calm.
If his nerves were frazzled–not uncommon–he couldn’t help but think that Riker’s might be, too. By the time they reached the door, he was worrying that Riker might want to avoid him entirely. Maybe he wanted to just sneak up to Julian’s room.
…It was okay, if he did. Evan would understand. He’d worry. He might not get to sleep for the rest of the night. But he trusted those two together.
The most important thing was just that Riker was okay and wherever he felt more comfortable.
And–
Evan was shaken from his thoughts when Riker pressed into his shoulder, and before his mind had even caught up with him, he’d wrapped his arms around Riker and pulled him close.
“It’s okay,” he said instinctively, gently rubbing his back. Riker wasn’t as cold as before but Evan was still worried he’d get sick or something after being out there for so long.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:17 pm
He knew he shouldn’t stand in the entryway and hold onto Evan like his life depended on it. It was too desperate. Too open. For both of them. It would be safer -- more comfortable in the kitchen or living room, probably.
Even in the dim light -- because there was no need to turn on all the lights in the middle of the night -- it was obvious that Riker would likely have a bruised cheek by the morning. His lip was swollen and still a bit bloody. His hands were cut up, and he had various other bruises that were starting to discolor his skin along his arms and under his clothes.
But Riker couldn’t say anything about it. What was there to say? This wasn’t new. This wasn’t a surprise. It was just the same old thing that happened over and over and he was trapped in an endless loop.
Instead, he felt more and more ashamed every time it happened.
He squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a shaky breath. His hair hadn’t been tied back like it usually was, so it was a mess of knots.
“I missed you,” he mumbled. He hadn’t seen Evan in at least a week, what with the holidays. Everyone was so busy, and he was doing his best to hide. Although he didn’t quite manage it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to worry you.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:20 pm
The lights from the Christmas tree were still on, and even though they didn’t do enough to let Evan see Riker, in his heart he already knew. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d shown up with injuries, even if he always seemed so embarrassed about them.
Guilty, too. Like it was his fault.
“I missed you, too. A lot. Don’t worry about worrying me, I’m always going to worry. I can’t help it, it’s like breathing.”
And how could he not when Riker was showing up hurt half the time.
In the hug, Evan couldn’t really tell how badly Riker was hurt. He’d picked up on enough of his habits to know that when he shied away like he had been it was because there was something so obviously wrong that he couldn’t just hide it.
“How bad is it?” he asked finally. He’d moved on from stroking Riker’s back to gently combing his fingers through his hair. Untangling the knots wasn’t going to be an easy process but he had a gentle touch and a lot of patience. There would be time to brush it later.
“Do you want to go sit down in the bathroom and let me help?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:20 pm
Riker knew he was lucky. Not too long ago, he didn’t have anyone who would drive out in the middle of the night for him. He would just have to try and figure things out and keep a low profile and hope for the best.
But Evan had always been good to him, even when Riker didn’t feel like he deserved it.
“Yeah. Please. If you don’t mind,” he mumbled, finally drawing back but still not looking Evan in the eye. “It’s fine,” he added, because it certainly wasn’t like being stabbed, and it wasn’t as bad as his arm getting torn up. He knew Evan wouldn’t believe him, but it wasn’t like he would pry more than that out of him anyway.
He kept the bag he’d brought with him close. He knew he could probably leave it in the living room, but he wanted it with him. It seemed as though he’d gone through great lengths to try and make sure he had it with him. Even passing up the chance for a jacket.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:23 pm
“You know I don’t mind. Did you have dinner? I have leftovers, we can heat some up in a minute.” Evan always made extra, so he always had plenty to share. And if he didn’t, he’d have just made something quick. If Riker was showing up a little worse for wear it didn’t seem so far-fetched to imagine that his mother wasn’t making things easy for him.
Briefly, Evan glanced at the bag. At first, he thought it might have been some necessities, but now that his adrenaline had faded a bit he was able to think a little clearer.
Evan wanted to give Riker another hug, but if he was hurt it was better to first get him cleaned up and taken care of, and maybe fed. He resisted the urge to take Riker’s hand and guide him to the bathroom, but only because he was still trying to figure out what Riker was comfortable with.
Instead, he gestured for Riker to follow him as he crept through the house. He flicked the bathroom light on and grimaced at how bright it was. It didn’t slow him down much, and he made way so Riker could take a seat while Evan pulled out the first aid supplies.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:44 pm
He didn’t respond to Evan’s question about dinner. He didn’t know if he had the stomach to eat anything anyway, so there was no point in making Evan worry about getting him something.
He slowly followed Evan as he gestured for him to, wincing a bit at the bright lights of the bathroom. It was then that he took a moment to glance at himself in the mirror, and almost wished he hadn’t called Evan in the first place.
“It looks worse than it is,” he mumbled as he stuck his hand under the faucet for a moment so he could wet his hand and wipe the blood from his lip. He looked pale but blotchy red from the cold. His hair was definitely in need of some maintenance.
Riker knew Evan was waiting for him to sit down, but he wanted to at least clean himself up a little first. He already felt bad that it happened in the first place. The less work Evan had to do the better.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:56 pm
“Riker, I got beat up enough in high school to know that it doesn’t ‘look worse than it is’,” Evan said, doing a very good job of not showing how much his heart hurt to see Riker in such a state. He wanted to hug him before, now the urge was almost impossible to ignore.
He took in what he could, because he knew Riker was just going to try and hide it as soon as he could.
…Riker wanted him to think it looked worse than it was, and a part of Evan thought maybe he should have gone with that lie.
He didn’t want Riker to downplay it, though.
It looked like it hurt, he didn’t have to pretend like it didn’t. Nobody was going to judge him. He was a good kid who was doing his best in a bad situation, and Evan didn’t know what to do about it. What, call the police? Riker didn’t want that. Send Zac over to pick a fight? It would just come back to Riker, anyway.
Evan wasn’t great in bad situations. He knew that there were people who could do things infinitely better than him. It wasn’t going to stop him from doing his best and trying to help but he wasn’t delusional enough to think he had all the answers–no matter how much he wished he did. He cared about Riker. He hated that Riker was stuck in this position.
He could figure out what happened to most of him–to his cheeks and lip and arms. “What happened to your hands?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 7:57 pm
He had nothing to do with Evan getting beaten up in high school, but he still felt a sting of guilt. He didn’t want people he cared about to hurt. And he didn’t want those he cared about to know when he was hurt. It was easier to avoid the questions that way.
Riker glanced down at his hands when he was asked. There were cuts across the inside of his fingers and scrapes that were not deep but very irritated.
“Cut myself on some glass,” he mumbled miserably. And while it might have seemed like an exaggeration or at least avoiding the full truth, Evan probably knew him well enough by now to tell that he wasn’t completely lying.
He sighed, and eventually gave up on trying to wash his face. He sat down on the closed toilet seat and glanced mournfully up at Evan.
“I’m not really good when it comes to gifts,” he confessed, shifting awkwardly where he sat. He was embarrassed and ashamed, but he knew Evan would keep wondering.
“I thought… you know… if my mom had something to do other than take out her anger on things, it would be better for everyone.”
He pressed his lips together -- and immediately winced and licked his lip.
“I got my mom a journal. Something to write her thoughts down, or whatever she wanted. She, uh… thought I was stealing money from her. Since I shouldn’t be able to afford anything on my own. I tried telling her I was doing some little jobs to get money but she called me a liar.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 8:10 pm
Evan was frowning already but it deepend quickly when Riker started speaking. He knew how important Riker’s mother was to him so he didn’t say all the things he wanted to about her.
“That’s ridiculous,” he said. His jaw was set firmly and his lips pressed tightly together. A range of emotions swam in his stomach and burned up to his mouth but he was doing his best to stay calm. Evan took the version of the truth that Riker gave him and didn’t press for more.
“You’re so thoughtful, Riker. I don’t understand her at all. Let me see your hands, I want to make sure there’s no glass in them.”
Evan sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Riker. He had tweezers ready to start, and antiseptics. None of the cuts he could immediately see looked like they’d need more than neosporin but he was still going to give Riker the best treatment possible.
“I’ll get you an ice pack for your face when I’m done with this. I should have gotten the heated blanket, too. But I’ll get that soon.” And Tylenol and something to take it with. “We’re lucky we didn’t wake Maxim up. I’m sure he’ll come visit soon, he loves having you here so much. Almost as much as I do.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 8:11 pm
Once again, Riker was silent. There were things he could say. Things he knew might help reassure Evan. But they all seemed hollow on his tongue. And the energy to speak was waning. He held still, though. Even when he wanted to wince at any antiseptic Evan used.
He waited until Evan was done with his hands to pull them away from him. This time, he reached down to open the plastic bag he had with him. Some boxes had wrapping paper. Others didn’t. And there was one small box that tingled when he lifted it.
“This probably isn’t the best place to give gifts but… I’ve gotta throw it away, anyway. But just so you can see that I did get you something,” he mumbled quietly, dully, like he was being very careful with his emotions. He gingerly opened the lid to reveal the remains of what had been a very pretty glass teacup. It had been crafted in a way that made it look like stained glass with blues and purples, but the handle had broken off and the whole cup had shattered into a handful of pieces.
“I’d just go buy a new one if I could, but I found this at an antique store. It reminded me of you so-- Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to break.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 8:35 pm
For a moment, Evan was quiet. He looked at the teacup with a solemn understanding. He got his answers even without having to ask the questions, but Riker was like that, if you gave him enough time.
“Oh, Riker.” His voice was soft at first, and he reached out to take the box. “No, don’t throw it away. I love it. You’ve gotten the pieces, haven’t you? At least enough of them, I bet we could put it back together. Let’s look up how to do that in the morning. Have you seen those videos where they repair glass with the–I think it’s gold epoxy, I’m not sure. But I’ve seen them.”
He tilted the box so the pieces caught the light, and he held it more tenderly than he would have if it had been in a single piece.
“I don’t want a new one. I like this one. It’s perfect. And even if it’s in a few extra pieces now, that’s okay. I fall to pieces all the time. So we have even more in common than when you first saw it. And sometimes I need help getting put back together, too.”
He lowered the box and looked up at Riker. “Thank you, Riker. This means a lot to me. I don’t think I have a cup that I love more.”
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