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 Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 3:19 pm
Ariel arrived at the park less than a minute after the takeout did. He’d passed the delivery driver on his way in and hadn’t thought much of it. His mind was elsewhere, anyway. He clutched the straps of his bag closely as he hurried to the station. There had only been two cars in the parking lot, and one he recognized as Morgan’s.
Of course he worried that something was wrong when Morgan asked if he could send a car to pick him up instead of letting him take the bus. Morgan had assured him everything was fine, and for all the words he didn’t speak, he made sure that Ariel couldn’t worry himself sick imagining what horrible thing had happened. He’d told him that it would mean a lot if he could come out and spend the rest of their shift together. Of course Morgan would drive them home, or wherever they needed to go. Especially in this weather. Ariel trusted his driving more than anyone else’s. And he wanted to spend time with him! And Casey? It felt like the three of them never got to spend any time together.
How could Ariel have said no?
He knocked on the door but before his knuckles could leave the wood, Morgan had opened it. “Come in, the snow’s picking up.”
And Harrison was there, wagging her tail!
“There was no one on the road, I got here so quickly. It smells so good, what did you order?” Ariel asked, shuffling in immediately. He dropped his bag to the ground and crouched so he could hold Harrison’s face in his hands and rub her face.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:33 pm
Harrison was, of course, ecstatic as always to see Ariel. Ariel was one of the important people in Casey’s life, and while she was happy to see anyone, her tail wagged with much more enthusiasm than usual.
Casey had just finished washing his hands so he could handle the food from the takeout bags when he heard Ariel’s barely knock. His heart was already racing, and he took deep, settling breaths so he wouldn’t immediately break down into tears. Again.
“Nothing too fancy, I hope you don’t mind,” he said quietly, his voice already thick with emotion but trying not to make his overly bright eyes too obvious. They were still red, but he’d splashed water on his face, as if that would help the blotchiness.
He offered a small smile, clearly happy to see not just Ariel, but how happy Harrison was to see him too.
“Um, just some sandwiches from a local deli. They make their own bread! But, um. We have some different options depending on what you feel like. We got some soup, too. Tomato, broccoli cheddar, and chicken noodle. They sent big rolls in case we wanted to use them as bread bowls,” he explained, shyly standing off to the side near the little kitchen. Just to give them space! And to give Ariel a chance to get inside before being bothered.
“Did you have a good day at work? Um… it’s good to see you.”
More than just that. He’d missed him dearly. He was desperate to see him, but also didn’t want to seem desperate.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:42 pm
Ariel’s eyes raised immediately. He heard the tears in Casey’s voice even before he saw them in his eyes. Morgan wasn’t giving him any secret clues that he wasn’t expecting this so Ariel did his best not to draw attention to it.
“Mind? No, that sounds so good,” Ariel said, trying not to look between the two suspiciously. Morgan had closed the door and was docking his radio to recharge when Ariel decided to stand. He gave Harrison one last kiss on the forehead as he rose and crossed the room with open arms to invite Casey into a hug.
“It was work,” he lamented, hoping the dark circles under his eyes weren’t as obvious as they felt. “I’m much happier to be out and here with both of you. It’s good to see you too, Casey. So what is this, what’s the occasion? Just an early dinner together? I like that, if that’s all it is,” he assured, because Casey looked so unsure of himself. “This is much nicer than being home alone.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:43 pm
Casey immediately took a step forward to melt into Ariel’s welcoming embrace. He buried his face against Ariel’s shoulder and held on to him as tightly as he could without it being too awkwardly desperate.
Although he knew Ariel didn’t mean it to hurt him, the reminder that Ariel was often alone at the apartment felt like daggers driving into Casey’s heart. His breath hitched and he clung tighter. Just for a moment. He didn’t want to hurt Ariel or make him worry more than he already did.
He wasn’t oblivious to the dark circles. Ariel looked like he hadn’t slept well in months. And while Casey wanted to do anything he could to ease his burdens, he was often pulled away with pleas for company from Mason. He tried to stay in contact, but was always doing stupid things like letting his battery die or lose his charger. He hoped that maybe Ariel would stop caring after a while.
Of course, Casey knew that wasn’t possible.
Being in Ariel’s arms felt like a piece of Casey had been restored. A piece that he’d broken off and carelessly discarded with the delusion that it would be for the best.
“We wanted to see you,” he quietly confirmed. It was nothing special. But to Casey, knowing that Morgan was there for both of them no matter what, he wondered how he could have ever stepped away from this in the first place.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:43 pm
As Casey was in Ariel’s arms, Ariel was in his. He sighed softly, savoring the warmth. Casey’s hug chased away the chill that clung to him and Ariel defrosted quickly.
“Oh, I’m glad to hear that. Actually,” Ariel was quiet for a few seconds, and then squeezed a little tighter. “I really needed to hear that.” He rubbed Casey’s back reassuringly, appreciatively.
“I’ve been getting into my head a lot lately. I was worried this was going to be some sort of intervention. It’s not, is it?” he asked, craning his head over his shoulder to look at Morgan.
“It’s not,” Morgan confirmed. “It’s dinner. Park’s slow, neither of you two are sleeping well. Thought a nice meal and a safe space might encourage you to catch a wink.”
Ariel’s lips pressed together and he looked at Casey. He hid his worry somewhat but gently placed a hand on Casey’s cheek. “You aren’t sleeping well?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:43 pm
Casey glanced up with concern at the suggestion that it could have been some sort of intervention. Was there something else he was missing? Did they need to help Ariel more than he was aware? The very thought was like another knife in his chest, but the proximity to Ariel helped ease the pain.
The touch of Ariel’s palm to his face was like a much needed balm. It was soothing and calmed him more than he thought was fair. Especially after everything he knew he’d likely put Ariel through.
“No, not really… Ma-- um… I usually drink some decaffeinated tea before bed to help calm me down but. I don’t think it works very well. I’ve tried some other things. Melatonin, I mean. And that used to work for me, but…”
None of that seemed to work either.
“And, I mean… sometimes Penny gets restless so I stay with her. Harrison keeps me company, of course.”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:43 pm
“Oh,” Ariel sighed softly and brushed his thumb over Casey’s cheek again. “I’m sorry to hear that. Well, let’s eat now and then we can rest.” Even if it seemed like that was a bit of a waste. He wanted to talk to Casey! He wanted to catch up, to know how he was doing!
“Penny must be getting so big now, I haven’t seen a picture of her in weeks! Oh–but what type of tea are you drinking before bed?” he asked, so quickly that it was almost as if he had to work up the nerve to even say it. He shook his head almost immediately afterwards and forced a laugh. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that. I suppose that’s a weird question. I was thinking, I used to drink Mariage Frères,” he said, with a faux French accent, and maybe a little bit of bitterness to it. “I used to have a problem with that brand. Or, I suppose, not the brand. Mm.”
He shook his head but flashed a smile before giving Casey one more squeeze and drawing back. This time, Ariel scrubbed at his face with both hands and when he lowered them it looked like he’d freshened up from that alone. At the very least, it woke him up a bit.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:43 pm
Casey stared up at Ariel, surprise and confusion maybe a little too obvious in his expression. Followed by something more fearful. He looked from Ariel to Morgan, as if wanting him to verify that he wasn’t going crazy or… or maybe everything Morgan said was starting to both make sense and make less sense at the same time.
Maybe the tea wasn’t helping him sleep, but how was it possible that it was the same tea Ariel didn’t drink?
“Um… that’s the brand, yeah,” he said after a moment of watching Ariel scrub at his face. He looked so tired. More tired than Casey. It broke his heart and Casey wanted nothing more than to reassure him.
“Mason doesn’t like me taking pictures,” he mumbled. “He’s, I mean… I’ve tried sneaking a few pictures of her, but he is worried about being on camera, so asked me not to take any. And then I, uh… he didn’t like that I took pictures anyway. Not of him! Just Penny, but he was so upset that I deleted them. Sorry…”
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
Ariel, briefly, looked a little green. Then grey, and then he rubbed his face again, enough to make it red, but smiled. His brows seemed like they had permanently knotted together.
“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I know some people are private.” He’d have been hypocritical to criticize someone else for cultivating their own safe space when he worked so hard to keep his own.
“Maybe you mentioned the tea before.” Except, Ariel still looked like he might throw up. He wanted to believe that was the case! Every fiber in his body knew he was just trying to lie to himself.
Morgan watched the two solemnly, like he’d already figured out something they hadn’t and was waiting for them to catch up. He lingered by the chargers, reading what he could of both of them without intruding. In many ways, they were like deer–skittish and ready to run when they felt the slightest danger.
He didn’t want to set either of them off while they were both coiled and ready to spring.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
Casey didn’t know what to do. Ariel was obviously upset about something, but he couldn’t quite figure it out. It was the tea, right? Being the same brand as… what…? Probably the same brand he associated his ex with. Casey might not know all of the details, but he knew that Ariel had been terrorized by the creep. So much so that he had to dye his hair and keep a low profile to avoid him.
Ariel hadn’t said anything about Mason being the name of his ex. So maybe it was just a coincidence.
But… he hadn’t mentioned the tea before… And it wasn’t exactly something found at the local grocery store.
Worried and confused, Casey looked up at Morgan for help. He didn’t know what any of them could do, but he was worried about Ariel. And he felt even more guilty now that he could see just how tired Ariel was.
Gently, Casey reached out to take Ariel’s hand and brought him over to the couch. He already set up the bag with sandwiches and had the soup out and ready to eat, so maybe a little of that would be enough to distract him.
“I miss you,” Casey quietly choked on the words, looking up at Ariel once they sat down. “I don’t--... I don’t think Mason is good for me.”
Morgan told him to think about himself. He was going to try and do that, even if it was painful.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
Ariel sank onto the couch with Casey with no resistance. It took all his effort not to just collapse upon it when he was sitting down but he didn’t want to hurt Casey or risk spilling any of the food. For a brief second, he thought he’d misheard Casey, but as soon as the words processed he was looking at him with worry.
“Are you okay, Casey? What’s happened?” he asked. His voice was soft, not quite panicked but certainly on high alert.
Morgan was watching the two of them. He’d had his time with Casey and Ariel and he knew they’d been apart for so long.
They were figuring things out, sorting thoughts and feelings. He didn’t offer his own because even if he’d made up his mind, it was important for them to draw their own conclusions, too. He caught Casey’s eye and nodded, like he was encouraging him.
He supported Casey. Ariel would, too.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
The encouraging nod from Morgan gave Casey a bit more confidence, even as he fidgeted and ran his fingers over Ariel’s fingers as he held his hand between both of his. He felt anxious. He knew his friends would be there for him, but everything Mason put him through had him second guessing himself.
“I just--” he tried to start, already feeling the pressure to come to the same conclusion as he had with Morgan. “He-- I mean, he hasn’t, like. Physically hurt me. But I’m always afraid of making him upset. He always makes me feel so stupid. And careless. And maybe I am, but-- but you and Morgan have never made me feel that way.”
He was doing his best to explain while not bursting into tears. He could feel the heat in his eyes, but he quickly blinked it away as best he could.
“And--”
Now his breath hitched, and he shifted where he sat so he could look more fully at Ariel.
“I want to be with you. I was wrong. I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. I thought you and Morgan could get together without me being in the way. But! Ariel, I want to be with you. And Morgan--”
He didn’t know if he was making sense, or if he fully understood what Morgan was suggesting. Maybe he was wrong and he was meant to be alone, but he at least wanted to try, first.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
When Casey took Ariel’s hand, he held it like it was a lifeline. Not too hard, but with a dedication that it seemed like he’d never let it go. His eyes were firm on Casey, unwilling to miss a single twitch on his face. He raised his hand to hold one of Casey’s between his own, too.
He was still reeling from being told that Casey was afraid of Mason. His heart hurt to hear what Casey was going through, but then to spring into the completely opposite direction–
Ariel didn’t seem like he understood. He blinked at Casey and his eyes darted across his face quickly. “With…”
His voice didn’t sound quite right; it was too distant. Too breathless.
Ariel kept the same desperate grip as he held Casey’s hands.
“What…” No, that wasn’t his voice, either. “How does that…”
“Are you worried about the mechanics of it?” Morgan asked, finally choosing to speak. “You don’t have to be. I’ll show you.”
“I don’t know,” Ariel said, anxious. He was making himself worry. He didn’t let go of Casey, he didn’t want to be away from him. “What if–”
“What if,” Morgan agreed, but he wasn’t thinking about all the ways things could go wrong. He’d interrupted only so Ariel couldn’t talk himself into a spiral. “What if you let yourselves be happy and with people who make you feel good about yourselves. And let me look after you two. I’m good at it. Nothing drastic has to change, not immediately. You’ve both been having a hard time. Just think about it.”
“Think about–what?” Ariel asked. His breathing had evened only slightly. His hands were shaking. His eyes flicked to Casey’s again, and though Ariel was mired with doubt and worry there was hope there. He didn’t have to say it for it to be obvious on his face. He wanted to think of a future where he could be happy. With someone he cared about. And with Casey–and with Morgan–with Casey and Morgan, that was a thing? Is that what they were saying? Was he hearing wrong?
“When things calm down, when you’ve both rested up, let me take you on a date. Both of you, together. If you don’t like it, nothing changes. We stay the way we are.. And if you do like it, I take you on another date. And we see how that one goes.”
Morgan spoke so calmly, so confidently, that Ariel found himself looking at him like he just made so much sense. He seemed like it wasn’t anything strange, like it wasn’t complicated. Like it wasn’t dangerous.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:44 pm
Casey would have been lying if he said he wasn’t afraid of what Ariel might say. He knew Ariel had closed himself off, especially after his experience with his ex. But Casey could just look at Ariel and Morgan and see how happy they were when they were together. It was already more than just friendship. They were comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed, even if it was completely platonic. He and Ariel felt safe around Morgan, and Casey liked to think that Morgan was happier when he was around them.
He was eager to nod to Morgan, to agree to a date. With people who he cared deeply for, and people who made him feel like he wasn’t just some dumb kid.
“I was wrong,” Casey said again, holding just as tightly to Ariel’s hand as Ariel held his. “I was afraid one of us would be left behind. I-- I couldn’t risk either of you being unhappy,” he confessed, looking from Ariel to Morgan and back with some desperation in his eyes.
“So when Mason--...” he paused and cleared his throat. A nudge against his back where Harrison had climbed up onto the couch behind him was enough to settle him again.
“I wanted to make sure I stepped aside to leave room for the both of you. I didn’t think you would need-- or want-- a third person around when you had each other.”
He was desperate to get Ariel to understand. Casey was still working on understanding everything, himself.
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Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2025 4:45 pm
For a long moment, Ariel didn’t answer. He wasn’t stunned in thought and his brows knitted together. His eyes moved, like he was sorting his thoughts just by looking around the room.
Finally, he nodded. It wasn't confident by any means but there was no doubt that he wasn’t just agreeing because he felt pressured. He was timid. Afraid of making the wrong move. Afraid of destroying the only thing holding him together.
“I never wanted to lose you. I didn’t even know–I mean, that you thought–that Morgan and I–”
He faltered and leaned in close, so it was only a whisper. “I thought you were going to be with Morgan. I never thought–I like spending time with him, but without you, I–”
Ariel swallowed. “I never thought–”
He pressed his forehead against Casey’s and rested there for a few more seconds. “...Don’t ever do that again. Don’t ever ‘step aside’ for anything. I don’t ever want to lose you. I’ve been so miserable without you. I thought I was just being selfish and dramatic. I just. I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t want to tell you how much my heart hurt when you told me you were dating him. I wanted to be happy for you. I just feel like I’ve been losing it this whole time though. I’m sorry.”
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