Jishui was happy to get away from the Chaos woman…happy and unhappy at the same time, really. She had meant what she said…she thought that the woman would be a good friend if she could get away from Chaos but…

As she drew closer to home, she powered down into Monika, and as the cold winter air swirled around her, she began to tremble.

Going out had been a mistake. Going out so late had been a mistake. It would have been better if Monika had just…laid on the couch and turned the television on or…or woken Dylan up and just…tried to talk or…find another way to go to sleep. Warm milk or…whatever people on Earth did…

The closer she got to the apartment, the more Monika seemed to fall apart. The adrenaline which had been sustaining her throughout the end of the talks with the Chaos woman Spectrolite…it was wearing off swiftly, and now, the terror of the…the whatever that had happened…it felt as though it were beginning to suffocate her. How did she know that things really had gone back to normal? What if she was still there. Still stuck. What if…what if none of this was real? If the past year and more was…nothing? If…if…

What if she wasn’t actually here. What if this was simply a dream? If she was still up on Jishui. Still in stasis. What if this was some trick from Chaos? What if…

Her vision was growing dark as the thoughts raced through her mind, and she fumbled as she attempted to open the door to the apartment. Fear, anxiety and a slew of other emotions were bombarding her and it was growing more and more difficult to even breathe.

After what felt like an eternity, the key finally slid into the lock and Monika was able to force the door open. She closed it behind her and twisted the lock before sinking to the floor, gasping for breath as her chest felt as though something was squeezing. Squeezing far too hard for her to deal with. What was going on? Was she dying? Was this what dying felt like? Was this something that Spectrolite had done? Was this…a trick of Chaos? Was she infected? Was she dying?

Her vision was still blurring. Fading to black, and then white. There were strange spots dancing in front of her eyes when the darkness cleared but still. She couldn’t get enough air.

This. Something was truly wrong and Monika couldn’t handle this alone.

With all of the strength she could muster, she forced herself to stand, legs shaking like crazy as she slowly, carefully began to feel her way to the door of Dylan’s room. What if he wasn’t real either? What if this was all truly in her head? It…she…

If this wasn’t real…he wouldn’t be here…if…

Monika stumbled and then caught herself against the wall, breath coming in quick, short gasps as she tried to focus, tried to get herself under control but…

But if none of this was real…