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 Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:10 am
Monika flopped onto the couch and looked at the tree that was simply twinkling. It was lovely, and even though the night had been…sidetracked by that…creature...she was happy.
“Dylan, I think it looks perfect, don’t you?” The whole apartment did. It was their own little holiday…home.
Leaning back in the cushions, she gave a sigh and chewed on her bottom lip for a few moments. “...You said that your magic has given you issues…how often has that happened to you? Can you tell me about it?”
A question that might throw off the excitement of the finished decorations, but one that had been burning in her mind the whole time they had been doing the decorating.
“I won’t lie, I already feel a little self conscious of my magic, I can do nothing but support others, but when it didn’t work…I felt like an utter failure…”
It wasn’t easy, talking about this but…with Dylan, it wasn’t difficult either. He was a very good friend.
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:22 am
Dylan flopped onto the couch beside her, a wide, almost goofy grin on his face as he looked on at the results of their hard work. Clearly a disturbingly disgusting youma wasn’t enough to sidetrack them from their goal for the evening, which was to get their home decorated and lit up like the rest of the city.
“It does, doesn’t it?” he said, gaze steady on the tree for a moment before moving through the rest of the apartment. He was about to compliment her on a job well done when she suddenly changed the trajectory of the conversation, and he looked over, a quiet concern hidden behind a small smile.
“Yes,” he answered with a nod to start, then shifted on the couch so he was facing her. “It’s…random, but I’d say maybe half the time? It either doesn’t work or is stronger than it should be and saps the strength out of me.”
Her admission about feeling like a failure had him frowning, and instinctively he reached for her hand. “You know, support is an amazing thing to have in a fight. It can potentially turn the tides in favor of whoever has it. Offense can be trained. Hand to hand combat is a skill that you can learn, but you can’t just learn a healing or restorative ability.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:23 am
Her eyes flickered to his hand on hers, and Monika gave a small smile, a warmth trickling from his fingers to hers. It was strange.
“I simply need to get stronger. But…I’m not a physically…impressive person. I never have been. I’m…short and thin and…I’ve been called fragile before. Which isn’t the best thing to be known for as a Senshi…”
Her fingers slowly curled around his hand and she looked back at the tree, sighing. “Do you think…I have been looking at some fighting classes…would you do them with me? Maybe we can get physically stronger together?”
It might make up for them both having…fickle magic. Though.
“...I feel bad saying this but I’m very glad that yours is messing up too…it makes me feel less of a failure.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:26 am
He glanced down at their hands as she took hold of his, noting the warmth of her touch, and the comfort it brought. There was a small part of him that wanted to withdraw, wanted to stay as disconnected as was possible from anyone and anything to avoid the possibility of experiencing loss for the umpteenth time in his life, but her voice kept his hand steady.
Dylan looked up when she mentioned being a failure again, and he squeezed her hand gently.
"You're not a failure just because your magic has been faltering," he said, voice soft but stern. "And yes, I'll do the classes with you. Learning can only be a benefit, right?" He offered her a smile at that, and again squeezed her hand.
"Maybe we ought to ask Julienne, maybe she's heard of others having the same issue?"
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:27 am
That…was honestly a great idea. Monika chuckled and shook her head. “I should have thought of that. Look at you being smart here, as I just wallow in…”
Hesitating, she shrugged. “Despair isn’t the right word, but I’m not sure what other word to use…self pity, maybe. That might encompass what I’m feeling.”
She didn’t pull her hand away, and in fact was quite enjoying the feeling of their hands connecting.
“It’s. Difficult. I know you understand. But…I feel a failure for a lot of things. The loss of my world, is a big one…and the faltering magic just seems like it’s fate taunting me. Reminding me that I will never get back what I’ve lost.” Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest thing to say, she knew he was…sensitive about their worlds…but…
Monika also knew that she didn’t have to pretend around Dylan…and that was…
Something special.
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:29 am
Dylan's smile softened at the chuckle, and he shook his head but didn't comment. Instead, he listened as she explained a bit more what was going through her mind. It certainly was bigger than just the magic, and it was a feeling he related to and understood. It'd been a while since he last really sat and thought about his past, though. His dreams were plagued with such things, but when he was awake he did his best to keep his mind occupied so he didn't have time to look back.
He wallowed while he was there, alone amidst the ruins of his homeworld for hundreds of years, and after finally escaping it didn't feel right to keep wallowing.
He wanted to keep moving forward, whatever that looked like.
"It is...impossible to bring back what's been lost, whether to time or to Chaos," he said, eyes again falling to their joined hands. He felt an ache in his chest at the reminder of his own losses, and he ran his thumb over the back of her hand as he shoved the thoughts away.
"That doesn't mean we can't forge ahead, though. Try to maintain what's left, maybe even restore it...someday..."
It was the first time he'd actually shared his thoughts on it with anyone, and it was...nice. To have someone to talk about such things.
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 11:32 am
After a moment of thought, Monika moved her hand, lacing her fingers through Dylan’s and squeezing gently. “I agree. And I hope that you’ll be there when I decide to start trying to forge ahead with Jishui, I know I would be honored to be by your side when you start working on Haik.”
It was something she fully intended to do, and she did hope that he would give the same support. Honestly, Monika had no reason not to trust him. And if Julienne could give answers, that would be wonderful, but at the very least, neither of them would have to figure things out completely on their own.
“I’m so very happy that I found you, you know. I think we make a good pair.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 12:42 pm
“I will always be here for you,” he said, smiling softly as he focused first on their hands, and then shifted his gaze to meet her eye. There was sincerity there, a quiet, unspoken promise that he had every intention to follow through with his words no matter what. “Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to help. As for Haik…someday, I hope.”
It was an idea he hadn’t visited in quite some time. Restoring his world seemed impossible. He’d gone over countless scenarios in his mind over the years, trying to figure out what caused it, where to start looking for answers…or what questions he even ought to be asking, not to mention finding who to ask these questions in the first place.
Alone, he’d more or less abandoned the idea, but now…
He gave her hand a gentle squeeze in turn. “Me, too,” he replied, his smile broadening and brightening at the discovery of a shared sentiment. “An amazing pair, even.”
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 5:07 pm
Monika chuckled and leaned back against the couch, closing her eyes and giving a sigh before opening them halfway and just enjoying the unfocused, blurry lights from their tree. “Yeah. An amazing pair. I’ll agree with that.”
This…was perhaps the best she had felt since arriving on Earth. Perhaps the best she had felt since everything had gone awry. For once, Monika felt safe. Protected. And she felt as though she were also providing safety and protection. It…was difficult to put a name to, the emotions but…
She enjoyed them.
“What shall we do now? Any suggestions?” Truthfully, she was more than content to remain here and just gaze at their work.
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Posted: Mon Dec 16, 2024 8:56 pm
He fell sideways into the back of the sofa, wondering on her question for a long moment as he watched her. It was a curious thing, to feel…settled…somehow. As if he had found a place of belonging once more, perhaps a true home away from home. Now whether that was a place or a person, he couldn’t quite say, but whatever emotions he was feeling now…he found he rather liked them.
“Well,” he started, turning his head first to the kitchen, then to the TV. “How about some cocoa and a movie? I think after all this decorating we deserve a little break and a little treat. What do you think?”
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Posted: Tue Dec 17, 2024 9:57 am
Monika looked at Dylan for a moment and nodded, unable to stop a soft smile from spreading across her face. “Honestly? That sounds absolutely perfect. And we do, deserve a break and a treat.”
They deserved a lot. They were doing their best, navigating in a changed world but.
Moments like this? It made surviving worth it...and truthfully, that wasn’t something she had ever hoped to feel again. Happy. Contented. Relaxed.
“You go and make the drinks. I’m just going to lay here.” There was a teasing note in her voice, and she knew full well she would get up if he asked her, but…
Monika was allowed to be lazy.
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