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 Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:17 pm
Takes place late-October 2024. Follows When the Flame Grows Dim
I’ll be back soon, he said in a voice that he didn’t recognize as himself. He wasn’t even sure if it was said out loud, or if he was just imagining it, anyway. Below him, he could see water flowing. Was he floating in air? How was he not falling into the water?
No… it was glass he was standing on. Below was the water. And there were flowers. And another voice calling to him. And the stone flickered with flame, but it didn’t seem as though it was anything he was concerned about.
Just the eyes watching him. And the voice behind him--
Riker felt the warmth of the water around him even before he opened his eyes. He heard the babbling of it flowing around him. He didn’t have to look around to know he must have been placed in the springs at Sessrumnir, set into the water in such a way that he wasn’t at risk of slipping under and drowning.
He groaned as he reached out his arms to try and find something to help prop himself up. It was difficult to remember what happened, but the amber eyes from his dream still burned an image into the back of his ********,” he hissed, finally prying his eyes open to look down at himself. He was shirtless, but the warmth of the springs made it so he wasn’t uncomfortable. He just didn’t like the way he looked. He was pale, and there was a bandage over his abdomen, and he could see similar dressing over his shoulder.
What happened?
He and Yvoire had been fighting a Captain. He’d been stabbed with Yvoire’s broken parasol. He thought he saw Ganymede--
His eyes opened wider in sudden panic as he tried looking around to see if Yvoire was there, and if he was okay. He couldn’t feel any auras but-- was he even powered up? No… so he wouldn’t be able to feel anyway.
“Evie?” he choked as he tried to call his name. His throat felt like it was on fire. But he needed to make sure Yvoire wasn’t injured.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:20 pm
Énna stirred. He sat in a chair pulled near the water’s edge, curled sideways with his legs drawn up. Pale lashes fluttered sluggishly—uncertain at first what had drawn him further into consciousness. He thought he’d heard a soft groan and a low hiss beneath the babbling water, but couldn’t be sure if he hadn’t imagined it, or if it were only whispering voices carrying in from elsewhere.
Then he saw Riker move.
“I’m here,” Énna said, nearly falling out of his chair in his rush to make sure Riker didn’t hurt himself. He recovered quickly and froze in place, suddenly unsure of himself.
He hadn’t thought much about what he’d say when Riker woke up. For a while he hadn’t even known if Riker would wake up. Everything seemed so precarious even now. Énna was afraid he’d do the wrong thing or say something he’d regret, or that Riker might slip again toward death the moment all seemed well.
“Don’t move, you’ll hurt yourself,” Énna cautioned him. Then, perhaps needlessly, “You’re at Sessrumnir. In the springs. You were in bad shape, but… you should be alright now.”
Énna’s voice was quiet. He had to swallow several times to clear his throat.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:21 pm
“Yeah…” Riker winced in agreement. Moving and hurting himself seemed like it was definitely likely. So he did his best to ease himself back against the edge of the pool. A pillow had been set up for him, so at least he had that instead of just resting against the stone.
But he was more focused on Énna than himself. He looked up at him, and observed the way he’d pulled a chair close to the water, and how he’d clearly been dozing off there. Riker felt like he’d been hit by a truck, but it obviously wasn’t as dramatic as that.
“Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” he asked, although he was already making a face as his eyes adjusted to the light. He could see what looked like a bruise on Énna’s face, but maybe it was just a shadow. Then again, he knew how hard that Captain could hit.
His voice was rough, even to his own ears. He thought he could see someone else moving just out of sight, like they were peeking in to check on them, but decided to leave them to be alone for the moment.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:21 pm
“I’m fine,” Énna said.
Mostly he was sore, but he didn’t know if that was from the fight or from all the tension after. He hadn’t had the chance to take a look at his face. He remembered the Captain’s fist against his jaw, but whatever bruising resulted from that was nothing compared to Riker’s injuries.
Énna hesitated. He didn’t draw closer, but he didn’t slink back either. The chair he sat on was old; the wood creaked every time he shifted. Maybe it’d been more comfortable once, with nicer upholstery than years of neglect had afforded it—not that the state of it had stopped him from nearly falling asleep. Nervous fingers moved over the old fabric, snagging on loose threads.
What was he supposed to say now?
“You almost died,” he said, voice so low it almost got lost beneath the sound of the water.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:22 pm
It felt so strange talking to Énna. Maybe because Riker knew his secrets had been revealed. They no longer had the same relationship as Reims and Yvoire as before. Riker knew he’d been the one to ruin things. He knew there was so much he needed to make up for. He was trying. He wanted to do better.
Everything felt numb and hurt at the same time. Like a cold fire was burning. It was painful to move, but he wanted to prove that he was okay.
Hearing Énna tell him he’d almost died kept him silent for several long moments. He barely remembered what happened. A part of him wanted to ask if it would have been better if he had.
Yes, said the memories of people who were supposed to care about him, but instead were annoyed that they had to take time out of their day to get him from the hospital. A waste of money, time, and energy.
It felt disgusting to think of any of his friends saying something like that, though. His friends were closer to family than he’d ever had. What really was family, anyway? He much preferred to be with the people who cared about him as much as he cared about them.
Yvoire had cared about him. Riker wasn’t sure if he’d ruined things so much that Énna was only there out of obligation now.
“You stayed with me,” he said gently back, or at least as gently as his hoarse voice allowed. He didn’t say that was more than what his family would have done. Everything already felt too much about him that it made him uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry… for scaring you. I’ll be okay,” he promised, not wanting to minimize Énna’s concern, but not wanting him to worry. Mostly because he didn’t know what to do about people worrying over him. Just fidget awkwardly.
“What happened? It’s, uh… a bit of a blur.” He hated that his voice sounded so bad, but he didn’t want the silence to swallow Énna up.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:23 pm
Énna shrugged. He couldn’t not stay, not after what Reims had told him about his family. Not after what Reims had meant to him. He was conflicted, still, even after everything. How could he forgive Riker? How could he not? Did it even matter what Riker had done? Maybe he was blowing it all out of proportion because he was sensitive and prone to expecting the worst from people. Riker had been mean to him already, which meant Riker could be meaner. If Riker said mean things to his face, he probably said worse things behind his back.
The apologies hung heavy between them. Riker kept making them and Énna didn’t know how to accept them.
Shifting in the chair again, Énna glanced down at his nails for something to occupy himself with. The polish was beyond saving at this point. He’d have to redo them when he got home. If he could muster up the energy. He scraped at one, chipping a few small pieces of color off.
“Ganymede saved us,” he said. “She called Sessrumnir and Alastor. They brought you here. Effie used his magic. Ganymede gave you some of her energy. Mary, um…” Here his voice went thick. Énna swallowed and blinked until the sheen of tears over his eyes eased away. “You had to be revived so Mary started CPR. And you needed blood, so Alastor and I…”
Énna swallowed again. He licked his lips, which he’d already bitten to soreness over the last few hours of nervous waiting.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:24 pm
Riker was quiet as he listened, trying to piece together everything that was said and unsaid. He remembered Ganymede being there. He didn’t remember the others. He knew there must have been others.
He grimaced a little at the thought of crybaby Ephesus seeing him in bad shape, and then again at the thought of Amarynthos doing CPR. That was probably why his chest was so sore. It felt like his whole torso was broken, but there was only bruising when he glanced down at his chest in the water.
But he needed blood…
A glance down at his arm confirmed there was indeed a bandage there, right where he would have been hooked up for receiving any. How they managed to do that in a cave -- albeit a fancy looking cave -- he had no idea, but he was grateful regardless.
“You gave me your blood,” he finished what Énna didn’t. Or couldn’t. Looking at him, Riker could tell that Énna was a bit paler than usual, but he was always pale.
He frowned thoughtfully then, not really sure if he was making things up in his own head but--
“Maybe it’s nothing… maybe it’s because I have your blood in me now, but…”
He paused and glanced up at Énna again from where he was in the pool, his lips pressed together as though debating on telling him or not.
“I think I had a dream about Yvoire… Somewhere like in your sanctuary, but I’m not sure if it was the same place, but there was glass you could walk on to see below, but… there was fire. I couldn’t see where. It might have been, uh… maybe just my imagination.”
Another pause, and he watched Énna with sorrowful, guilty eyes. “Thank you. For what you’ve done for me. You didn’t have to.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:24 pm
Another shrug, followed by a shake of the head. Énna didn’t know how else to respond. He could never find the words on most occasions. Stress made it worse. He hadn’t wanted to see Riker die, so he’d done what he could to help keep him alive. That, at least, hadn’t required much thought. It had been instinctive.
Énna swallowed again. He licked his lips again. He scraped at one thumb nail with the other, over and over, peeling polish away in small flakes.
His heart lurched so hard he thought he might be sick. To hear Riker talk about Yvoire, to know he was Reims, to think they might share dreams and memories… The part of him that wished to go back to the way things were mourned what would never be.
“Maybe it was a memory,” Énna said. He hated how quiet his voice had become but didn't have the strength to make himself louder. “Ganymede has them sometimes when she's in other places. I haven’t—even at Yvoire—I haven’t remembered anything. Not since we found the Code piece. There was fire… Like the castle was under attack. Sometimes I hear a song, but… that’s it.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:24 pm
He could barely hear Énna over the sound of gently flowing water. Inside the little carved out room it was more difficult to hear the sound of waterfalls into the larger pools, but every so often he could feel the rumble of thunder in the distance. Or rather, from much farther up, even though he had no idea how deep they actually were from the surface.
Riker wasn’t convinced he’d had any kind of memory. It was too fleeting. But it felt like something was calling to him. He just didn’t know what.
And he didn’t want Énna to feel even more awkward than he probably already felt. Riker knew it was his fault. Everything had been going just fine until he confessed to who he was. But he’d also been lying to Yvoire every time he saw him.
“I think--...” he started and then paused again, knowing how rude it was for him to even suggest what he wanted to suggest, but…
“Could we visit sometime…? Please? I think there’s something there I’m supposed to find…”
He braced himself for rejection, of course. He’d already taken so much from Yvoire, why would he want to give Riker more?
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:25 pm
A part of Énna wanted to refuse him. The night’s events hadn’t erased the pain of betrayal. If anything, the pit in his stomach had deepened. The emotions crashed into him like waves. Anger. Resentment. Grief. How dare Riker ask him that? How dare he think he could ever set foot in Yvoire again?
But the longing always crept back in, seeping through the tarnished sheen that’d been cast over his memories—all those long hours toiling away at their Wonders. He wanted Reims with him again, but wanting Reims meant wanting Riker. Énna still hadn’t been able to reconcile it. He hadn’t had the chance. The opportunity had been taken from them.
Énna’s eyes burned. His throat ached. He blinked the tears away again, too stubborn to let them fall while Riker was conscious.
“If you think you have to,” he said.
Not a “yes.” Not a “no.” It was as much as Énna felt comfortable committing to. He didn’t think returning to Yvoire together would change anything about what had happened between them. The pain would probably be worse. Énna felt sick just thinking of it, but nothing would ever be as bad as the thought that Riker might die before either of them had the chance to come to an understanding.
To do that, he had to try.
“I’m still mad at you,” he continued. “When we were—When you were Reims and we were together… It was the only time I could be happy. After—” Énna stopped. If he mentioned Daddy right now he’d break, so he forced it back down. Instead, tremulously, he said, “Now I don’t have that anymore.”
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:25 pm
Énna hadn’t said ‘no’ but he hadn’t said ‘yes,’ either. It was better than Riker could have asked for, at least. Anything other than straight rejection meant that he had a chance.
He deflated with Énna’s clarification that he was still mad at him. It was fair. It was valid. Énna had every reason to be mad. Riker wasn’t trying to force him to not be mad.
But his heart felt like it was breaking to know that together, as Reims and Yvoire, it was the only time Yvoire could be happy…?
He didn’t have any right to be upset, he knew that. He knew that almost dying and now being in pain with every movement wasn’t enough to give him a free pass. He didn’t want a free pass.
So why did his eyes burn?
Hastily, Riker lifted a hand from the water to cover what he could of his face to block it from easy view. Énna already sounded like he was going to start crying. The last thing he needed was for Riker to do the same. He could use the excuse that he was in pain, probably, but it was something more than just physical stabbing into him.
He’d ruined things. He’d had such a good friendship with Yvoire, and because of his actions as Riker, he would never have that again.
“You deserve better,” he said, his voice thick with emotion that he was desperately trying to keep in check. “Someone who treats you with respect and kindness. I’m sorry, Énna, I--...”
He stopped and shook his head. He was working himself up. His chest was burning and he felt lightheaded, so he leaned his head back against the side of the pool. Maybe closing his eyes would give Énna the excuse he needed to escape.
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Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2024 6:25 pm
Énna didn’t escape. He sank back in his chair and brought his legs back up to curl as comfortably as he could. Dislodging the lump in his throat proved futile with each convulsive swallow, so he stopped trying to talk. Nothing they said to one another now would change anything. Everything was too fresh.
The apology went without a response. Énna breathed deeply and put his forehead against his knees. His hair swung into his face, concealing most of it from view. Silent tears slipped down his cheeks.
He told himself it was enough that Reims was still alive. Maybe they could rebuild something between them the same way they tried to rebuild their Wonders. The chance was there. All they had to do was take it. Even if it was awkward. Even if it hurt. Even if things would never quite be the same.
But he still felt the loss like a piece of himself was gone.
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