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 Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 9:45 am
There were times when Stirling realized she was a fool. This was one of those times, and she sat at the writing desk up on her Wonder and just, felt as though she would faceplant into the old, faded wood.
It was no wonder that Effie and Mary hadn’t answered her letters.
Their names weren’t Effie…or Mary.
All of the letters she had sent had been marked with those names. The names she spoke so fondly, had thought so fondly of. She.
She had made the worst case scenario, and she had done it all on her own. Because she was an idiot.
With a sigh, Stirling wiped at her face, feeling annoyed with herself but, wanting to make things right.
It was no wonder things had seemed so…off. She had thought she was ignored and in all honesty, they must have been feeling the same way. So now? Now she was going to fix this. Or…attempt to fix this? Work on fixing it.
Spell their damn names right.
The letters were both sent, this time with Ephesus and Amarynthos...instead of Effie and Mary.
They were both sent apologies, brief explanations of having put their nicknames on the other letters she had sent, and an invitation to meet her at the park, either as civilians or powered. It didn’t matter…she just wanted to see them.
She missed them.
After the letters had vanished, she hoped that they had finally gone to the right people, and with half a thought, she made her way back to the city, settling herself on a park bench, powering down just to make sure nothing could feel her. All she could do now was wait.
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:02 am
Amarynthos and Ephesus got the letters almost immediately, and it was with great surprise that they learned that they were actually only about two minutes away. Amarynthos wrote back immediately, ‘We’re on the way!’ to Stirling, not Sterling, but the handwriting was sloppy, like he’d written it on a rounded surface while moving.
Which, he had. He used his palm as a table and was moving towards the rendezvous point with Ephesus.
Though he’d expected to find a Lysithea Knight, it was a little harder when she wasn’t powered up.
She was by the fountain she described though, but he and Ephesus approached from behind her and didn’t immediately see her.
“Oh, there you are,” Amarynthos breathed a sigh of relief. She was powered down, so he did too. “We just got your letters. We felt a Knight and were on our way over here to say hi when we got them. Did you send those letters and power down right afterwards?”
Maybe he was talking to fill the silence; he flashed her a quick smile because she looked halfway miserable right now.
“Sorry, I mean–I hope this isn’t awkward or anything! I was a little worried that maybe we did something to upset you so I was trying to be careful while I figured it out. I’m really glad to know it was just a mistake. Because, um. Actually, we were writing you letters, too. Just. We really all need to sit down and learn how to spell each other’s names because I definitely have been writing to Sterling. With an E, like the silver? And now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t know if Reims or Yvoire or Dering are spelled at all like how I say them. Are you okay, Brooklyn? I’m really sorry, we had no idea you weren’t getting our letters. And we had no idea that you were trying to write to us, too.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:18 am
Ephesus -- and then Atticus -- was already in tears by the time they reached the park. He was trying very hard not to draw attention to how absolutely embarrassed and horrified he was that he’d been writing the wrong name.
It was bad enough that he had to awkwardly mumble every now and then about being dyslexic, but there was no excuse to just completely misspell his friend’s name, right?
He realistically knew he shouldn’t be too hard on himself since he was clearly not the only one misspelling names, but it was still horrible to think about how long they’d all been trying to contact each other only for their letters to not go through.
Thankfully, Elliot was always cheerful and chatty, and could fill in the gaps of silence. Atticus only hid behind Elliot long enough for him to try and compose himself before quickly crossing the distance between them and throwing his arms around Brooklyn.
And breaking into sobs again.
“I’m -- so sorry -- I didn’t know!” he blubbered, trying hard to only get tears and snot on his own clothes and not on Brooklyn.
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:19 am
Brooklyn gave a small smile at Amarynthos, and nodded as he transformed back into Elliot, and she was about to say something when suddenly a crying, unhappy Atticus was hugging her.
And the hug felt wonderful. Of course. As the warmth of the hug enveloped her, Brooklyn also began to sob, unable to hold it back as she wrapped her arms tightly around Atticus. “I’m so sorry too…I thought you guys hated me! I can’t believe I was so stupid! I always call you Effie and Mary and I just…those aren’t your names!”
She clung tighter to Atticus and buried her face in his shoulder, not caring if he got her snotty and tear stained. It was fine. He cared, and that was all that mattered.
“I’m so sorry...”
It didn’t seem enough to just apologize, and she finally fell quiet, still shaking slightly as she cried. She had wanted this. Missed this. And now that she had it?
…What then?
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:29 am
Elliot knew Atticus was prone to tears but Brooklyn seemed far less so. He wasn’t one to judge, though! He hoped that they could find comfort in their embrace. For a moment, he stood off to the side, and then he figured that wasn’t enough so he wrapped his arms around both of them.
“You’re not stupid,” he told Brooklyn. “Please don’t say that about yourself. It was an accident, and we all made the same one. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m glad we figured out what the problem was so we could talk. I was really worried but I’m glad it was just something silly! It’s okay,” he insisted, and rubbed their backs.
“I’m sure we’ll all be able to laugh about this soon. The important thing is that we’re all here and I’m glad everything is okay. And we’ve learned how to spell each other’s names, so that’ll be really useful in the future. We’ll write much more often now, Brooklyn. We worry about you, we want to make sure you’re okay. Are you okay? We never get to see you anymore!”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:30 am
“What?” Atticus gasped in surprise, having pulled back just enough to look at Brooklyn’s face, before his own expression crumpled again.
“Why would we hate you?” Had they done something to make her think that? Sure, they hadn’t been able to communicate through their Knight messages, but Atticus never thought that she hated them! He just thought she must have been busy or needed some space!
He tried not to cry harder. It wasn’t very useful when trying to have a conversation. So he held his breath and scrubbed at his face with his hand since his sleeve was too short. He was grateful that Elliot had his arms around them, too, because he really wanted to hug both of them.
Atticus was also grateful that Elliot was already thinking positively about everything, and he nodded quickly in agreement, even if his eyes were still leaking and he was still sniffling grossly.
“I didn’t even think about the others,” he wibbled pathetically. “We’ll need to have a list or something. Yes, are you okay? We heard you were staying on Lysithea but… that’s so lonely, isn’t it? Oh, or… does Lysithea visit you a lot?”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:31 am
“I’ll write you two more often too…I…I really.” Brooklyn swallowed and buried her face in Atticus’s shoulder, shaking her head. “I really. Thought you did. I was so sure of it. I. All I’ve ever done is cause you trouble. From the first of it all I did was cause you trouble. Mary, I got you hurt when I first powered up and I just…I just wanted to prove myself so much…and then…I just cause trouble…”
It was only the truth, and it was something she believed with all of her being. Look at how she had pushed Julian…look at how she…just.
“I’m so sorry…It made sense. I…I really just. It made sense that you wanted nothing more to do with me…and uh…yeah it’s…fine. It’s a place to live..and she doesn’t visit, no not really…she’s busy. And I don’t want to bother her. I have some really cute squirrels though…they visit me…and Dering too.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:41 am
“Brooklyn,” Elliot sighed, but there was still a smile in his voice. He was still gentle. He gave her a half hug and squeezed tightly. “We’re Knights, we’re going to get hurt! It’s okay. I’m still in one piece, it’s not like you pushed me in front of a car or something. I’m tough. Don’t beat yourself up over any of that. I never thought of you as a troublemaker, and I definitely never blamed you for any of the times I’ve gotten hurt while you were around. I’m sorry that’s been eating you up, I would have told you sooner if I’d known.”
Did she really think Atticus was capable of hating anyone at all? Probably not. She’d probably just let her insecurities get into her head and was projecting.
Elliot thought he could understand that but he still wanted to chase away whatever negativity she plagued herself with. She was their friend and they cared about her.
“Maybe we could visit you some time? I’d like to see the squirrels. Hanging with you seems fun, that doesn’t sound like a bother. And if you ever want to go visit the Moon or anything, you can come up with us, too? Or just hang out around Destiny City while you’re in town?”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 10:42 am
Atticus tried not to feel hurt that it made sense for them to not want anything to do with her, but he couldn’t stop his heart from seizing up and his throat tightened with emotion.
Maybe he was too emotional. He was grateful that Elliot was calm and collected and still smiling, because Atticus didn’t know what to do. Everything that made sense to her made zero sense to him. But-- he knew everyone came from different backgrounds and places of understanding. He just didn’t understand what they’d done to make her feel like that. No… or maybe there was something else he wasn’t understanding. He would just try to not take it personally.
He sniffled and rubbed at his eyes and tried not to look even more distressed. He knew they were trying to figure things out. It would be okay.
“I have healing magic to help, remember?” he tried not to let his voice crack. “And you have your shield, so we can all work together.” He also nodded along with Elliot’s suggestions as he mopped up his face some more with his shirt.
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:13 am
“I’m just used to being thought of as a trouble maker…it’s just. How things always are…” Brooklyn shrugged and pulled away after a moment, wiping her face roughly with her arm and forcing what almost passed for a smile. “It…is nice to be wrong though…” She amended, in an almost small voice. Their words were reassuring, and she wanted to believe them…it.
It was just so hard to change the foundations you were made upon. Even if they sucked. “Yeah…we do…we do work well together, I guess…I haven’t been in a fight since that last one…not really, at least. I haven’t done much…I just…keep trying to exist. I need to talk to Soleiyu about…some things…maybe helping me not be illegal anymore…that would…that would be helpful. But.”
Hesitating, Brooklyn shrugged and glanced at the ground for a second. “Look. I know I act tough. I’m really good at acting. But. Guys I’ve had the world crumble so many times that’s just. What happens. And I expect it. And trying to think that things could really be different or better or me be happier or whatever…? It just.”
Closing her eyes, Brooklyn shrugged again. “I don’t get a happy ending. But yeah, please come visit me and the squirrels. They’re so cute and I know they’ll like you and Atticus a lot.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:26 am
Elliot rubbed Atticus’ back and rested his cheek against his boyfriend’s head as he looked at Brooklyn.
Elliot didn’t say that Brooklyn wasn’t as good at acting as she thought, but maybe he was just looking harder than most people. He’d picked up on a lot of times when she wasn’t quite herself, or when her mask slipped. He didn’t press her about it because she was tough, and he didn’t want to accidentally offend her or chase her away.
She wasn’t quite as reactive about it as Riker, and she wasn’t quite as emotional as Atticus, but Elliot knew there was more to her than she showed them. He understood. He respected it.
“What makes you think you don’t get a happy ending?” he asked. “You’re still really young, Brooklyn. I don’t think you need to be thinking about any sort of ending right now. Your story is only just beginning. And maybe you have a few rough chapters, but I don’t think any of that defines you. Unless you want it to. But don’t let the bad weigh you down. You can be whoever you want to be. Whoever thought of you as a trouble maker probably never got to see the real you.”
He wasn’t even sure how much of the real her she’d let him and Atticus see but he was glad for every little snippet of truth she shared.
“Is there anything we can do for you? Do you want us to do supply runs for you or anything? Or do you and Soleiyu have that figured out?”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:30 am
He wasn’t really sure what to do, especially not for Brooklyn, but he appreciated Elliot’s closeness. He didn’t want to be rude and turn around to bury his face against his boyfriend’s shoulder to hide, so instead he reached down to gently tug at one of Elliot’s arms until he could get it wrapped around his waist.
Atticus also wasn’t sure what Brooklyn was talking about when she said she was a troublemaker, or how she was looking for happy endings as a teenager.
There was a small wave of dread that twisted in his stomach, and he held Elliot’s arm tighter against him as if he were a shield against anything bad that might threaten to eat at his thoughts. How long ago had it been since Atticus last wondered how his ending would be like? When he needed blood after being stabbed, and the only safe way to get it was from an alien with some makeshift set up on another planet? Or when Elliot’s house collapsed?
Before that, he didn’t even expect to make it to highschool, let alone be where he was standing now.
“Things will get better,” he promised, his voice still a little shaky, but he sounded confident. “Things got better for me. They will for you, too. I, um… I can’t explain how I know, but…” He didn’t want to say the first step was to believe in herself, because he knew how hard that was. “Trust in those who believe in you,” he said instead, taking a moment to wipe some more tears away.
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:50 am
Brooklyn was quiet for a long while after the two stopped speaking. She was thinking. Hard. And…honestly…what Atticus said made her feel…hopeful…there were people who believed in her…and she just…she did know that. It just. “It’s hard…” She said softly, finally and after a moment she shook her head in answer to Elliot’s question. “I haven’t…spoken to Soleiyu yet…I…I haven’t had the courage.”
No, that wasn’t…really the truth, but…she hadn’t…wanted to be told that things were impossible. She didn’t want to be told that the best chance she had was to just keep doing what she was doing…
“I’m not. Scared to talk to him. I’m just. What if I don’t like the help he can give? Or the answers he might have? What if he just tells me that…this is the best that I’ve got? That he can’t…do anything else? I…”
Brooklyn wrinkled her nose and pulled away from the two, beginning to pace in a small circle, trying to keep her thoughts moving without losing herself to them. “If this is the best I’ve got…I don’t want…to hope for more and be disappointed. That sounds…lame but…It’s how I feel.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:52 am
Elliot rubbed Atticus’ back in slow, soothing motions. Even if Atticus’ voice trembled, even if tears filled his eyes, he was still so strong. He spoke with such conviction, such hope.
Elliot was proud of him. Elliot loved him. Unconditionally and completely. He’d been through so much–Brooklyn had, too, though she kept much of her struggles to herself.
He could imagine, though. Her silence didn’t really bother him and he was comfortable giving her the time she needed to sort through her thoughts and feelings.
He watched as she started pacing but he kept his arm wrapped around Atticus.
“So if he doesn’t give you an answer you like, press for more. You know Soleiyu likes to show off how smart he is, right? Don’t be afraid to give him a challenge. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say ‘too bad, that’s the best I’ve got’. If you’re not happy, then you should hope for more. And you should keep hoping until you’re happy. Do you want us to go with you to ask Soleiyu? We can be backup for you if you’re worried. Or a cheer squad if you just need the motivation.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 09, 2024 11:54 am
Atticus was grateful for Elliot, even as he twisted his hands anxiously together as he watched Brooklyn pull away from them so she could pace. He didn’t know what to do -- maybe he would have awkwardly tried following her around had it not been for Elliot’s gentle arm around him.
“If he says anything that disappoints you, then we’ll just figure something else out,” he said quietly, not wanting to upset her more, but also not wanting her to give up so easily. He nodded along to everything Elliot said about Soleiyu as well.
“If Soleiyu doesn’t know, then we know two other Mauvians who could help. But I think it’ll be really easy for him to do something to help you. He helped me when I needed to hide,” he explained, feeling his cheeks flush a little with embarrassment and shame. Not because he needed the help, but because of who he was-- well, it felt like a lifetime ago, now.
There were still things about his old life that haunted him. He still panicked at the sight or sound of sirens. He could never seem to get a good enough grip on things to open them. Jars, bags, sometimes even door handles if they were the type that needed to be twisted. He doubted he would get taller than he was now, but he wasn’t too upset by that. He didn’t want to grow out of the clothes that Devyn lovingly embroidered for him.
“We will support you no matter what,” he promised with a small nod of encouragement as he wiped at his face once more.
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