Nickname: No, thank you.
Gender/Pronoun: Disinterested/ambivalent. He/they.
Age: He’s about 1,037, but his people aged more slowly than humans, and functionally, he’s in his mid-twenties.
Birthday: The math would put his birthday on October 23rd, 986, if he felt like doing it.
Sign: October 23rd puts him on the Libra/Scorpio cusp. By the Eastern zodiac, he’s a Fire Dog.
Gemstone: October birthstones are opal and pink tourmaline.
Blood Type: N/A.
Fav. Food: The kind that he stole from someone else or otherwise obtained unethically. Look, food tastes better when you steal it, this is just science, probably. (That said: he loves fish, aquatic crustaceans, and seafood in general. Give it to him raw and he’ll love you forever, or at least until he next gets hungry. Also, these Terran chicken nuggets are wonderful. Heibing would like all the chicken nuggets you have, please.)
Hated Food: The kind that someone says he can’t have.
School: N/A.
Occupation: N/A.
Hobbies:
with all your cheap words about hearts and accidents, who are you kidding? (Lying): Heibing isn’t particularly dishonest in normal situations—no more or less than anyone else is, at least—but he has fun by messing with people. This often takes the form of making up a tragic backstory that never happened and presenting it as an unvarnished truth, but that’s not the only kind of lie he’ll tell. As long as whatever he’s saying is objectively false, Heibing will say it just to watch how people react to it. In the moment, when Heibing is messing with someone, he mentally inhabits whatever role he’s made up for himself. People react to whatever he’s telling them, and he enjoys seeing where any particular nonsense leads.
This pastime basically exists at a particular intersection of method acting and Internet trolling. The biggest differences between the latter and Heibing taking people for a ride are: 1. he does this to people’s faces and wouldn’t understand the appeal of doing it online; and 2. he isn’t exclusively trying to inspire rage but enjoys all kinds of potential reactions to his stories. Please, surprise him. Don’t be boring. Few things earn Heibing’s disdain quite as much as people being boring in reaction to any of his ridiculous tales and nonsense.
yeah, it’s always cloudy except for when you look into the past (Journaling): Forgetting anything, no matter how inane it might seem, could easily get you into trouble, so Heibing works to avoid that. He is almost never without a journal and pen, jotting down notes throughout his daily comings and goings about everything, even (or perhaps especially) the trivialities. If anyone tries to trick him later, claiming that things he distinctly recalls never happened, he values having a written record to prove them wrong. Wherever possible, he also likes to hoard things like receipts, letters or notes from other people, etc. that might supplement his own writing. Anything to make sure that his records of his own experiences are complete, and that no one can question him about them. (He thinks this may also be valuable practice for learning his way around twenty-first century English, but even when he learns English, Heibing’s journals will likely be written primarily in Thalassan.)
well-read and poised, we’re the best boys (Reading/Research): It’s unfortunate that life on Heibing’s home-world didn’t allow them to create a more formalized education system, because Heibing would genuinely do well in academia. He strongly values knowledge, both appreciating and respecting the efforts made by those who came before him to find answers to various questions in the universe and record them for future generations. Digging around in libraries is nothing new to him (though he is going to need to learn how to read 21st century English and learn his way around how Earthling libraries are organized); once he has a better idea of where he’s going and how to read the things he finds, he will easily spend entire days losing himself in the stacks. Doing similar searches on the Internet will have a likewise powerful hold on him, as soon as he learns what it is and some of the basics of how to navigate it. And in the cases of questions or topics about which there hasn’t been much written already, Heibing will gladly come up with ways of trying to find it himself. He will always consult previous work first, but if he digs around and comes up with nothing, he’ll be ready to come up with some kind of experiment or other means of finding out what he wants to know.
maul the world like a carnival bear set free (Martial Arts): In the past, Heibing picked up this hobby for two reasons: 1., his people never wanted to give up in a fight if possible, so they prepared to fight without weapons; and 2., Heibing and his old friends regularly got into scraps with various opponents during their adventures, heists, etc., and he wanted to stay on his game. In the present, Heibing has found that the techniques he remembers from back then are not going to work for him as well as they once did. For the past thousand years, his world has kept him from aging while he fought the Chaos that infected it, but his current physique (tall, gaunt, gangly) is greatly changed from what he used to have (tall, yes, but think similar to a seal or sea-lion: fat to protect from cold, but strong and full of raw power). In light of that, Heibing is trying to learn new techniques. Getting him to attend classes might take some effort, but he’s still going to work on teaching himself (as soon as he learns about youtube, he’ll be looking up martial arts tutorial videos to practice with) and anyone who impresses him with their individual style can expect him to ask questions, request demonstrations, and otherwise try to learn whatever they’re willing to teach.
the gentle pull of a tide that rolls over and over again (Swimming): Coming from a functionally amphibious people, Heibing has spent much of his life in the water. Yes, his world had an arctic climate until the Chaos infection that killed his people, but Heibing and his people were built for things like swimming in frozen waters and pushing their way through pack-ice. As much as he can and will accept that most things in life will happen on dry land, and even though he can only breathe the waters of his own homeworld, Heibing strongly prefers being in the water. His best idea of a compromise is that he will either make time to go swimming at least a few times a week, or everyone else can deal with him being especially tetchy and irritable.
Unfortunately for him, the practical execution of this compromise may be more complicated than he wants it to be: Heibing is sensitive to the chlorine used to sterilize Terran swimming pools, and he will need to adjust to it over time rather than plunging head in. Swimming in the Destiny City reservoir is generally not advised for several reasons, and several of the lakes, ponds, and rivers in or near town don’t allow swimming. If he somehow finds access to an enormous, swimming pool-size bathtub, it may help somewhat but it won’t be the same. One of his best bets is likely going to be getting on decent enough terms with other Order senshi or Knights who have easy access to relatively clean water up in outer space, then visiting their worlds and/or Wonders in order to swim there……but that is going to require making friends, something that Heibing has always struggled with. He’s going to make an effort, though, because to Heibing, not being able to swim is by far the worse option.
Virtues:
i’m sifting through sand, looking for pieces of a broken hourglass (Patient): Heibing doesn’t mind waiting for things to come to fruition. Sometimes, one must have a larger view of the things laid out before one and be willing to put in work over a longer period of time. He isn’t going to fuss about an idea requiring preparatory work, or taking time to unfold, and will gladly try to calm others down by reminding them that the end result will be worth waiting for. He is not always quite as good at staying patient when he has to deal with people rather than situations. People can find his raw nerves more easily than situations can, but regardless, Heibing knows the value of allowing someone’s growth to unfold without trying to force it.
His interpersonal patience is often more not wanting to be bothered than genuinely giving someone grace, but either way, he’ll allow their growth to unfold however it needs to.
i’m in the deep details with the devil (Thorough): Getting Heibing interested in something—whether a hobby, a research topic, a groovy mystery, an elaborate heist plot, a household task like cleaning the kitchen, or whatever—is a good way to ensure that no stone will be left unturned. As long as he can find said stone, Heibing will kick it over and check what’s under it for anything he hasn’t already learned or considered. Yes, it can be incredibly time-consuming, but so is making proper, cooked food. In his mind, there is no such thing as being over-prepared and he requests that you please trust his process while he digs up minutiae that most people wouldn’t think to check. Better, Heibing thinks, to check all the potential sources and learn nothing new than fail to seek out new information and/or perspectives that somehow become important later. Better to have more backup plans than you need than to get caught on the back-foot in the middle of a heist. Better to get into the nitty gritty, granular details, searching for the one little fragment of a shard of broken glass than to only find out because the shard-fragment in question wriggles its way into your foot. Hey, you never know what might turn into some horrible, toxic mold-growth if left alone, so it’s probably best to clean everything, even if it looks like it doesn’t need it.
my words are my faith, to hell with our good names (Follows Through): When Heibing says that something will be done, consider it done. When Heibing decides on his own that he’s going to do something, then you should also consider it done. His people and their culture highly valued the keeping of one’s promises, so he generally avoids making promises (or, in a similar vein, threats) unless he intends to make good on them. If you do not specify a due date with him in advance, him making good on things may not happen on the timescale you’re expecting—especially with threats; letting you know exactly when he’s coming for you doesn’t sound like any fun—but he will still get things done. Yes, he still remembers that promise he made you a thousand-and-five years ago. He didn’t forget, now shut up and let him make good on it.
i’m yours ‘til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away (Loyal): “Ride or die” is some strange Earthling colloquialism that Heibing has only recently learned about, but he thinks he likes the sentiment quite a lot. He chooses people to attach himself to very rarely, but once he does choose someone, they’re his and very few things could make him sever that tie. Once upon a time, actions that greatly harmed his people might have caused Heibing to break off a friendship or alliance, but obviously, that’s no longer an issue. These days, he doesn’t even feel that someone he cared for reincarnating is good reason to stop being loyal to them (though he may sometimes express said loyalty very roughly or in ways the someone deems “unideal”).
Flaws:
my conscience called in sick again / this is the road to ruin and we’re starting at the end (Amoral): While Heibing’s home-world had a complex society, ultimately everyone knew that there were only two options before them: death, and survival. Even when people tried to band together to survive (which they did both easily and regularly), the severity of the climate and life on their world meant that most choices you could make to ensure survival for yourself and your own people might very easily damn someone else to death. Growing up like this has left Heibing feeling like he cannot be bothered with such nonsense as “morality.” Most things that others consider “complex moral and/or ethical quandaries” seem, to Heibing, incredibly silly and overly relative at best, and outright hypocritical at worst. Sure, you might save a random teenager from a youma, but maybe that teenager is a rancid, gossipy little jackass who’s spent the past six months bullying a classmate without mercy. Better, in his mind, not to think about these issues and to just do what you want, what most helps you pursue your own goals and your own happiness, and what does right by the people you value personally.
when it all goes to hell, will you be able to tell me “sorry” with a straight face (Blunt): Heibing can mince words. Heibing can be diplomatic. Heibing can speak in ways that consider other people’s feelings before he starts talking. He is perfectly capable of doing all these things, but more often than not, Heibing chooses not to. Pretty words and empty promises seem, to him, like massive wastes of effort in 999,999 situations out of a million. Instead, he will tell you to your face exactly how stupid your idea is or how little regard he has for you. If he has a use for you, he might temper his negativity somewhat, but frankly, even his best friends have to deal with Heibing looking them dead in the face and telling them that there are quicker and more efficacious ways of killing themselves than whatever rubbish idea they just suggested, which is, without question, the dumbest idea they have ever had this week.
i want these words to make things right, but it’s the wrongs that make the words come to life (Vindictive): Grudges are not things that Heibing lets go of easily, and he very quickly loses any sense of scale about handling them. If he feels that he has been slighted or wronged in some way, then his instinct is to pay that back at least in kind, and probably several degrees worse than the original injury. He might let the grudge go before managing to pay it back, but you’d have a better chance of getting a hurricane to renew your driver’s license. This impulse also includes anyone Heibing considers family or a close friend, but the fact that he’ll go seek revenge for slights against his friends is extremely “Cool motive, still murder”—and if he isn’t held back, the “murder” part of that phrase might be literal. No, Heibing doesn’t think that he’s “overreacting” or “being unreasonable” for trying to arrange things so he kills his enemy and it looks like an accident. They insulted his late mother, okay? He wants their head on a spike.
say my name and his in the same breath, i dare you to say they taste the same (Haughty): There are a lot of things in the universe that Heibing simply considers himself above dealing with, and he will let you know. When he considers someone beneath him, he blows them off and refuses to speak to them. If they try to press the matter about getting his attention, he will give it to them……for as long as it takes to push them off a roof or to just tell them that they are beneath him and unqualified to speak to him. Yes, he does think that he has the correct approach to surviving in this universe and yes, he knows that he and his people are better than you and yours. No, he doesn’t think your counterarguments are worth hearing. Do not try to put yourself on his level unless you can very conclusively, objectively back it up (which he won’t appreciate, but will at least begrudgingly respect), or you desperately want him to develop a grudge against you for the unforgivable crime of annoying him.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTIONEyes: #FFED6D. Big and a bit wide, with a slight bulge.
Hair: Black. Long (about hip/a**-length), largely straight but untamed.
Face: Gaunt. Pointy. High cheekbones.
Skin Tone: #FCF7EF. Pale, sort of ivory-toned.
Body Type: 6’3”. Gaunt and pointy. Gangly limbs. A long and nasty, but faded, burn scar across his stomach, under his navel and around the path of his hips. Similar burn scars on the insides of his arms (down to his elbow) and thighs (ending slightly above his knees).
Clothes: Many layers, lots of black. Heibing has just learned of these Terran “fleece legging” inventions and thank you, he’ll take all of them.
