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 Posted: Mon Jul 29, 2024 12:59 pm
Luke missed Julian. Like. A lot. Ever since school had let out, he had honestly missed sharing a room with his roommate and…well. Best friend? It was great to be home, he didn’t disagree with that but…
He worried about Julian. He knew his friend didn’t have an easy time with things, and he always tried to be there, to show him that he had his back no matter what…but.
Right now? He couldn’t do much of anything to help.
But! Thankfully, this weekend he was going to get to see Julian, and they were going to plan their camping trip up to Lisse, and he was…really excited. Happily excited.
He made his way to the Hillworth campus and walked inside, going to the picnic table that he and Julian had planned to meet up at. There was a permission slip signed by his mom in case he could convince Julian to come over for the rest of the weekend, but he didn’t want to push if his friend didn’t want to.
“Hey! Julian!”
The smile on Luke’s face was absolutely genuine at the sight of his friend and he hurried over, wanting to throw his arms around Julian, but holding back. “Gosh I missed you!”
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2024 4:14 pm
Julian looked up from the book he was reading and smiled brightly at the sight of his friend. He slid in a bookmark and closed the book–Floriculture: An Illustrated Guide to Flowers–before standing up. He knew Luke was a physical person and was probably looking forward to a hug, so Julian opened his arms to offer him one.
He might not have liked being surprised with physical contact, but Julian found that he enjoyed it most when he knew to expect it and had some measure of control.
“Have you missed Hillworth?” he asked, smiling despite the dismal appearance of the school behind him.
“I missed you, too. How has summer vacation been?”
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2024 7:08 pm
Luke brightened when Julian held his arms open for a hug, and made his way into them, holding his friend loosely, but spending an extra second just enjoying the contact. “I’ve missed Hillworth in the sense that I’ve missed being your roommate…but the school itself?” He drew away, but the smile on his face didn’t falter.
“I mean, I like being home as much as the next guy–and my mom actually took the advice of me and my brother and got a dog so she wouldn’t be so lonely…and you know.”
He sighed and glanced around for a moment. “...Won’t get involved in more schemes from the Negaverse, but…I don’t know. I miss how nice and calm the dorm was…our room, at least. Like, the dog is great, and a full room is also great but.”
Luke shrugged weakly. “I really miss my best friend.”
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2024 7:24 pm
“You got a dog?” Julian asked, looking a mixture of hopeful and excited. He wanted to ask more, or for a picture, but he could tell that Luke had more important things on his mind.
His enthusiasm faded quickly as the weight of Luke’s words settled in, and guilt wracked his features. “I’m sorry. I hope you’re still able to enjoy your summer, though? And it won’t be long before we can see each other more. Um, actually, this might be my last semester at Hillworth. And um, I have a friend who is making–getting–me a new phone. So I’ll be able to talk more often. And get real pictures.”
Of course Soleiyu had come to nose around when he’d found out Talia wanted to bring Julian into their home. But he needed some information from Julian if he was going to get everything on the technical side handled, so their run-ins were bound to happen anyway.
“A lot’s gone on. I’ve been really looking forward to seeing you so I could tell you. I really wanted to hear what you were doing, too.”
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Posted: Wed Jul 31, 2024 7:26 pm
“Yeah!” Luke grinned and pulled his phone out, scrolling to the few pictures of the puppy. “His name is Buttons Bunnybutt Everleigh…my mom though he looked just like a chocolate bunny so…look, Jason and I tried to make the name more acceptable going with ‘Buttons’ for the first name but…mom insisted.”
He gave a theatrical sigh, but couldn’t stop the grin on his face when he thought of it. “Of course I’m going to enjoy my summer! I’m seeing you now, aren’t I? Makes it all worth it! Also, a phone! I love that! Julian that’s so awesome! You deserve all of the good things!”
Luke watched his friend, and seemed absolutely sincere in his words, his eyes lighting up at the thought that Julian might be getting out of Hillworth. That he was getting a phone! That things were looking up!
“What school do you think you’ll be going to, do you know yet?”
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Posted: Thu Aug 01, 2024 2:53 pm
“Oh, he’s cute. I like that name,” Julian said, but it wasn’t like he’d have said anything bad about it if he didn’t. He leaned close, shoulder to shoulder with Luke so he could see the pictures.
There was still a lot that he didn’t understand about what was going on in his life right now but he knew he had a lot of people who cared for him and wanted the best. It was complicated, and he was grappling with a lot of emotions that he knew probably didn’t even make sense to them.
He just wasn’t one for really talking about things. It was stressful and confusing and frustrating and overwhelming.
He didn’t need all the attention he got, and didn’t know what to do with it when he had it.
“Um, I don’t really know yet. Probably Meadowview or Azure? We haven’t really–I’m not sure, yet. But I’ll let you know as soon as I do. I’m supposed to go over for dinner soon. I think I’ll find out more then. But, um. It’s with Talia, so.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 01, 2024 7:05 pm
“He’s super cute and very friendly. He wags his tail so hard like…he just wiggles...it’s ugh. I can’t wait for you to meet him.”
Luke felt…really happy like this. Close to Julian, happy to be chatting and happily talking about the future…
“Both of those sound good! Anything is better than Hillworth…I’ll see about asking to go where you go, but my cousin goes to Meadowview and she seems to like it a lot!” He paused, trying to figure out just why the name Talia sounded familiar and when it finally hit him, he gaped at Julian, eyes wide.
“Wait…isn’t that like…her? Lysithea?”
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Posted: Thu Aug 01, 2024 7:29 pm
Julian smiled softly while Luke was describing the dog. He sounded sweet. Julian didn’t have much experience with dogs, but he was eager to meet him. His ears looked so soft, and–
“Oh–um, yes, that’s her.” He spoke in a bit of a hushed tone, like he suspected there could be invisible spies surrounding them. Hillworth was known for its strictness, why shouldn’t they be creepily observing the students to make sure they weren’t getting into trouble? He’d already been scolded earlier today and he still wasn’t sure what for.
He sat back down at the table and gently laced his fingers together atop the book he’d been reading. “Brooklyn and I have been visiting her. She’s, um. I guess she’s sort of always been very eager to help me. I thought things were fine, but. Um, you know how things are. Just a little complicated. But Brooklyn was, um. Very convincing.”
He looked at the cover of his book and tapped his fingers atop it rhythmically. “So I asked Talia if I could stay with her and she said yes.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 02, 2024 5:27 pm
Luke was still more than a little awestruck at the fact that Julian was going to live with Lysithea…but he just nodded, and then frowned a little. “...What do you mean by that, if I might ask? Why was Brooklyn telling you where to live…? She’s like, our age, isn’t she?”
He blinked and wrinkled his nose, trying to remember what Julian had told him about Brooklyn. She was the one who had her starseed taken…and was living up on her Wonder?
That sounded right.
“I’m glad that Talia said yes though! You’ve always said how nice she is, it sounds so good for you to have a really nice place to live…You deserve good things, Julian!”
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Posted: Fri Aug 02, 2024 6:56 pm
Julian glanced up briefly but simply shrugged and brushed invisible dirt from the cover of his book. He flashed Luke a soft smile. “Talia is very nice. I think she’s been worrying about me but I don’t know why. I thought I was doing okay this whole time but I think I just make the people around me worry.”
He leaned his elbows on the table and seemed to think deeply about this.
“I hope I don’t make them uncomfortable. I don’t know what I should do different. Things always seem so complicated when you stop to think about them. I just want to do everything right. I want to make the people around me happy.”
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Posted: Fri Aug 02, 2024 7:01 pm
Another diversion. Another non answer. Luke sighed but shook his head, pushing his feelings away, wanting to make Julian feel better. “Julian, you make me happy just by being around. Like, seriously. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, you just…have a really calming…”
He wrinkled his nose and shrugged. “I don’t really believe in auras but like. I don’t know. You being around has always made me happy. I think…people worry about you because they care about you. That’s just what you do when you care about someone…and like, you clearly care about them too, if you’re worrying about them being happy…that’s just…”
Luke tried to figure out what best to say and then just shrugged again. “That’s just…healthy relationships? You care about each other and you work to make everyone happy. It’s not that you have to do anything different…it’s just how it is cause we care? They care? I care. Shoot, that all sounds so silly but…I dunno.”
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Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2024 7:53 pm
Julian’s eyes had lifted while he listened to Luke. He was quiet, honestly taking the time to listen to the words. In the end, he shrugged meekly.
“I know it’s hypocritical, sort of, but it’s just hard to explain. I worry about my friends all the time,” he admitted. “I worry about Talia, and Brooklyn, and you. And everyone. I just mean…I don’t think I know how to word this the way I want to.”
He didn’t want to sit there in silence and take the time to try and figure it out, either. He couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t just clam up in the process.
“I think…maybe, what I mean, is that maybe I grew up a little differently than everyone else and they don’t really understand me. And I think sometimes people hold me to their standards, or to what they’re used to? But I don’t have those standards, and those aren’t the things I’m used to. So sometimes I have a hard time trying to make people understand that…Oh, I don’t know. I guess that doesn’t make sense. But you said a lot of really nice things, thank you. That was sweet.”
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Posted: Mon Aug 05, 2024 8:01 pm
“Everyone is different, Julian.” Luke shrugged and wrinkled his nose, and then shrugged again. “I don’t…I don’t think that there’s any right way to be a human? And…if you grew up differently, it’s going to be…”
He wrinkled his nose again, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. “A learning curve? I think you and I are doing a lot better with understanding one another. I mean, if I’m wrong you can let me know, but I always try to know when you’re upset, and you always know when I am? I don’t think that’s what you were…saying but. Ah. Words are hard, Jules. I get it. If you have things you want to say but can’t, you know I have no issue with waiting. I think you’re amazing, and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone other than you are. You’re perfect just the way you are, and if I can do anything ever to help you feel comfy, just let me know, I really don’t mind. Ever!”
Finally he smiled, but wrinkled his nose again, and then rubbed it, laughing. “I don’t know how rabbits do the whole nose twitching thing. Now it’s itchy…but. You’re sweet too. And I’m so glad we met, and I’m so lucky that we got to be roommates and like. The Universe clearly wanted us to meet! We’re both…you know…”
Luke made a face and gave an over the top wink and shrug again. “...Special? And like, we were roommates! That has to count for something, don’t you think?”
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2024 6:12 pm
Julian smoothed out the cover of his book once more as he nodded. He didn’t know how or why rabbits twitched their nose so he couldn’t offer any useful information. He didn’t feel special. Being a Knight, sure! But–
Well, he didn’t know how the magic was distributed, or why. The universe might have some purpose for him, but in terms of being special...
He sighed, and once more let his eyes lift to Luke’s. “Why do I have to be the one with a learning curve? I’ve noticed that people keep saying things like that. I know everyone is different. I did grow up differently from you. And Brooklyn, and Talia, I think.” But she didn’t remember, so it was hard to say.
“But I feel like people keeps expecting me to make changes that work for them.”
His eyes were downcast again. He must have traced the cover of his book a dozen times but his fingers wouldn’t stop moving.
“And I will, of course. I just wonder why that keeps happening. I don’t think I’m what anyone thinks I should be. I feel like, um. I don’t know.”
Luke had said he didn’t want him to be anyone other than who he was. That he was perfect just the way he was. Luke might have meant it, or thought he did. Maybe Julian was just too sensitive. He did question everything already, after all.
“Well, some people say they like me how I am. But then I feel like they want me to change, too. I’m having a hard time keeping up with what everyone wants me to be. I’m trying, but I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know how to do it better. I’m sorry, that’s probably not a very fun conversation. We should talk about something more interesting. I’m really glad to see you, I don’t want to mess that up.”
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2024 7:04 pm
Luke tilted his head and thought for a moment. “I…don’t think you’re the only one with a learning curve. At least, like…I wasn’t trying to say it’s you who has to learn or change, but…relationships are hard. Like, with me, I’ve never had a roommate who wasn’t my brother, so that was a learning curve…getting to know you, getting to know anyone causes a learning curve…it’s not you…it’s everyone.”
He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, and was thinking things over, but shrugged slightly. “I think…there’s always a learning curve when you’re building friendships. When you’re…it’s just always a learning curve. For me too, like…when I got to meet all of your friends, I…felt like I was really off footed…it’s hard figuring out what people expect or want…and.”
Luke frowned slightly. “I’m so sorry that people are trying to ask you to change yourself…I think…that’s kind of selfish. In my opinion…everyone changes when…they make friendships, just naturally? But…expecting change…seems mean to me. I’m sure they have their reasons, I’m not trying to say anything bad about your friends! I’m just…saying there is going to be give and take naturally, and it seems like…they’re a little impatient? Maybe? Or maybe they just…I don’t know. I like who you are. I like learning about you. I like being your friend so much. I’m…enjoying the conversation but I’m happy to change the subject if you want to! I feel like this is us learning more about ourselves. And…it can be uncomfortable but it’s not a bad thing!”
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