In the warm summer nights, little glowing lights begin to bob and dart through the city. Fireflies are mating, so this isn't uncommon in itself; in the past few days you've probably seen hundreds of fireflies. What makes these lights so unique is that they seem to change color; you might see a blue one, a green one, a red one. They flicker randomly, and something just seems off with them. If you come into contact with one, you will find yourself with a strange electric jolt. They cannot be caught, and will flicker away if you pursue too aggressively. This isn’t the first time they’ve appeared in Destiny City, but no one’s been able to tell where they came from or where they’re going. No matter how quickly you chase them, they always seem to disappear before you can find any answers.
He could’ve thought that they were done, they were leaving, they were going home. Rakovanite was injured, probably at least as much as he’d done to the knight. It took all of a second once they’d landed from Rakovanite’s teleport to realize otherwise.
“Don’t go back,” Narcissus pleaded, fingers tangling in whatever scrap of fabric on the General’s uniform that he could reach.
He didn’t know where they were, somewhere dark and lonely away from any hustle and bustle. Away from any chance of Narcissus making his way back alone, if Rakovanite got away from him now. Leaves rustled all around, blades of long grass tickled his feet where they crept over his sandals, crickets chirped, fireflies blipped. Some intensely forested area. High up. He could see city lights well off beneath him. Distantly. This barely even seemed like the city. No one would be around here. Narcissus definitely had never placed mirrors this far out…
If Rakovanite left him here, Narcissus wouldn’t be finding his way anywhere until he was retrieved.
He sucked in a gulp of air, fighting to maintain any sense of rationality, anything more steadfast than blatant desperation. “Please, Rakovanite… Nataniel. I-it’s done now. We should just go home- We don’t- You don’t n-need to fight her. Please. Please.”
Narcissus would be safe here. Safe and out of the way until Rakovanite could come back for him in a few minutes. Just a few minutes. Once it was just him and the girl, no other distractions, no interference, it wouldn’t take long. Rakovanite was so sure of it.
His lover said Rakovanite didn’t need to fight her.
And that wasn’t incorrect. There was no contractual obligation that said he needed to kill as soon as he laid eyes on her- and he usually didn’t. This sort of brash and reckless behavior was a departure from Rakovanite’s preferred method of observing and waiting and carefully picking the most opportune moment. Something with the least resistance or smallest risk.
He didn’t know anything about this girl besides her planet and her name, hardly worth her immediate execution. But even that much stirred something especially unpleasant in his gut. Nidavellir. That was his name- except it wasn’t. It wasn’t anything Nataniel had ever gone by or had any affiliation towards, and he didn’t want to. That person felt no different than someone he might see on the television screen: an interesting story, but no connection beyond that. Nidavellir wasn’t anything to Rakovanite.
But he had been Narcissus’ lover.
What Rakovanite felt was… very strange. Turbulent. Doubt.
He didn’t ‘need’ to fight her. But he couldn’t let her live. “I will be five minutes,” he promised softly, clasping his fingers around Narcissus’ wrists and gently (forcefully) prying the Senshi off of his coat. “Count it out. That will be a suitable distraction until I return.”
He notched Narcissus away with a forceful nudge and stepped back before his fiance could lunge for him.
Narcissus could feel it in the set of Rakovanite’s fingers around his arms that there would be absolutely no compromise. There was zero insinuation- no moment of ’maybe he’ll listen…’ Narcissus was well and truly one hundred percent aware that he was not going to have his way this time. No matter how much he pleaded or how desperate he was…
“I’m begging! Rakovanite, please-” But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.
They were partners, and they’d been together for years now, and Basyl knew that Nataniel valued his opinion and his feelings. He didn’t want Basyl to be unhappy. It just happened that some things superseded Basyl’s wants. But he was sure- so sure!- that if he could properly communicate how important this was to him, Nat would relent. He usually did. He didn’t want Rakovanite to be a murderer while they were together.
Not that there was any getting away from it, and Basyl knew that, just as he knew Rakovanite couldn’t- or wouldn’t?- stop, and they were in a war, and Basyl wouldn’t hold it against him for doing what he felt was necessary… It was complicated, okay? It was complicated for both of them- they were a strange pair, but it genuinely didn’t matter most of the time because Basyl knew Nataniel wasn’t a bad person…
It just happened that this moment fell outside the boundary of ‘most of the time.’
“Don’t leave me, don’t, don’t- Please…”
Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2024 5:06 am
He’d made his decision. Perhaps it was cruel to ignore the blatant desires of his lover, but Rakovanite already knew what he was going to do. Knew it wouldn’t take more than an instant or two to teleport back to where they’d been, catch that knight off guard, snatch up her starseed, and return to Narcissus’ side. It was a kindness to leave him here. They both knew his sweet Senshi didn’t want to be anymore a part of what Rakovanite was about to do than he already had been.
“I will be very quick.” The promise was muted and stiff, expression a perfect mask. Narcissus knew what he was. These priorities should come as no great shock. Rakovanite teleported away, leaving his lover there in the forest, overlooking the city below.
The interim of his absence was perhaps a bit longer than he’d promised it would be.
When Rakovanite returned to Narcissus’ side, it was with an ever-so-slightly shifted countenance. He was hardly expressive, but someone particularly tuned into him, as Narcissus was, would probably be able to recognize an almost somber air about him. -Not because of anything he’d done, but more accurately the lack of what he’d accomplished, and what that meant…
That he’d left Narcissus here and broken his trust- for nothing.
He was still holding his keys and their fuchsia charms, a symbol of their life together and all the years it had been. How much of it had he thrown away…? Rakovanite couldn’t explain why this felt significant- he’d done worse, surely? But…
He lifted his gaze from the ground to find the man he’d left in the forest.
He’d known- Narcissus had known what was going to happen- Had known that Rakovanite wouldn’t be swayed by his begging. But it still stung. It still stung to be pushed away and left here, alone, in the dark. He couldn’t do anything- It didn’t matter how quickly Narcissus lunged to grab him, to try and hold him here, he wasn’t faster than an instantaneous teleport. He could only look on, gaze awash in a pained mixture of desperation and longing and defeat, magenta depths swirling with something like betrayal.
A part of him thought he didn’t deserve to be so hurt.
Rakovanite would do the worst things that Chaos compelled him to do. Narcissus had known that forever, didn’t hold it against him, didn’t- didn’t love him less because of the atrocities he would commit. Maybe he should.
Narcissus stabbed his teeth into his lower lip, hoping that sting would distract his thoughts enough to keep the sob lodged in his throat. He had seen Rakovanite kill, still had the evidence of it in his space pocket. And that person hadn’t even been an enemy! But it had been so sharp and quick and immediate that it almost didn’t even feel real… And the excuse had been that it protected their identities. Rakovanite did it seamlessly, painlessly, and to keep them safe.
Narcissus had never seen- or even heard of?- Rakovanite acting out of spite and anger. It must happen, because Narcissus knew those feelings were there. They’d spoken of them. But it was sometimes hard to imagine his disaffected and placid lover in a murderous rage on the battlefield. Narcissus had seen him upset in a fight, and even then, he prioritized keeping his allies safe, rather than slaughtering. Narcissus knew it happened- he had seen it- he knew- he knew.
This time was different… Rakovanite could’ve prioritized Narcissus. He’d chosen not to. The knight girl was something personal, Basyl understood, eliciting something dark and angry in his fiance that he hadn’t seen before…
’Don’t cry, Basyl. not cry…’
He could think it as hard as he wanted and as many times as he wanted, but it only barely helped. And the longer he just stood here, thinking about Rakovanite and waiting for Rakovanite, the more difficult it became to not break into a trillion pieces. Narcissus was going home. ******** this place.
He curled his arms tightly around himself and started shuffling toward the city lights. There was no road, no path, and if he was really going to walk home, he’d have to skirt around the drop in the mountainside. A wave of dread sideswiped him- it would take <******** hours- keep it together! You’re not going to wait like a lonely puppydog, so just keep it together, and do it. Narcissus swallowed, tucked his head and took a few larger, less pitiful strides-
Only to stop on a yelp as a bright sting lit up the exposed skin of his shoulder. His head whipped to find the source, only to see a bobbing light drifting away. A firefly bit him. Or stung him. Whatever they did. He glanced up- and there must be dozens of them up on this hill, fluttering about.
…He did cry then. It wasn’t even a hurt worth crying over, but it didn’t matter. It was a large enough domino to topple the pieces he’d been desperately trying to keep upright, and now there was a whole field of obstacles in front of him, just waiting to hurt him if he got too close, and home was so far away, and his lover had picked hate over him, and why did he even leave his house, why, why- So Narcissus broke down, dropping into a crouch on the grass and folding his arms over his knees and burying his face there. Rakovanite would think he was so <******** pathetic, but honestly, what did that matter? He’d made his choice.
Narcissus didn’t keep time as he’d been instructed. He didn’t know how long he cried or how long Rakovanite left him there for. Just knew that the worst of the tempest left his system as he felt the stirrings of an energy signature at his side. He felt hollow.
His face turned up slightly, just one magenta eye peeking up from the safety of his arms. “Well?” He croaked softly, flat, defeated.
Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2024 5:19 am
Every awful feeling churned in his stomach: doubt, regret, spite, rage, loathing…
Rakovanite did not usually think he was so stupid- he almost always put more forethought into what he was doing, into how it would affect him, what he would get out of it as a result. Or if he was doing something at his own expense, it could only be to the benefit of someone he cared about. He could suffer insurmountable inconveniences to make Basyl happy. Or Tanwyn or Gideon… But these actions had been driven by something outside of logic and reason.
He hadn’t done any good for himself at all. He hadn’t done any good for Narcissus, his love.
Rakovanite wasn’t happier, and his allies weren’t safer, and he should’ve realized that this is exactly how it would end up. No one of sound mind would’ve expected any alternative. Of course she would leave, as soon as he gave her the chance. Of course she would run. Obviously she would. He could have spared himself that look Narcissus gave him as Rakovanite shoved him away.
He could’ve (should’ve) relented then, to appease the man he loved.
But Rakovanite hadn’t, and standing in front of Narcissus, he could feel a shift as something physical in the air. Something unpleasant.
He had to look away from the magenta iris boring into him. “...She was already gone,” Rakovanite muttered, the words catching like dry paper on his tongue. He had nothing to show for the damage that had been done, both physical and emotional. She’d escaped, and the way Narcissus looked at him was unlike any way he’d looked at Rakovanite before.
