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 Posted: Mon May 13, 2024 8:32 pm
She was thinking a lot about Lenka. Was thinking about Adria. Needed to spend more time with Adria. The space Senshi that she had helped. It had been nice. She enjoyed assisting them, and though this one had features that were easily seen when he was powered, she hoped that he would be more careful and not keep poking around in other’s gardens.
Julienne made her way into Malcolm’s room and gave a friendly. “Hello!” And then gave a stretch that seemed to take up her entire being. All the way from the tip of her nose to her tails, her toes spreading with the action and a deep, rumbling purr coming from her chest. “Oh heavens. I needed that badly.”
Hopping up onto the arm of Malcolm’s chair, Julienne waited for an invitation to either climb onto his lap or for him to start petting her, and the rumbling purrs continued.
“How are you, Malcolm? I know…I’m not…the greatest with things…but. I would like to be better.” A better partner? A better friend.
A better Mauvian.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 3:22 pm
Malcolm had been sitting at his desk, hunched over and typing in a room too dark for his eyes. He was already wearing a set of wrist compressors–a clear indication that he’d probably been here all day. The dark circles under his eyes insisted that he hadn’t slept, but his eyes were bright and alert. Probably thanks to the energy drinks he’d been helping himself to, though only the most recent remained on his desk.
The light of the computer reflected from his glasses and he had to blink a few times as he tore his gaze away from the screen and looked at Julienne. As soon as he’d seen her he had naturally moved his chair back to invite her up, and as soon as she jumped he began to stroke down her back.
“Where is all of this coming from?” he asked, earnestly surprised. Sure, she’d been withdrawn and a bit avoidant for a while now but she’d always been kind and friendly–even when she hadn’t wanted to leave the house or engage with anyone else. Despite how many times he’d offered or invited her, he understood her desire to stay inside. He just wanted her to know that she was welcome.
“Is everything okay?”
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 3:29 pm
Julienne was still purring and looked up at him, nodding. “Everything is okay. I’m not. Going to do something drastic. I just…suppose that I decided I don’t want to keep moping any longer. I want to live. I haven’t been…productive in society in far too long and…”
The Mauvian lifted her head and turned towards the screen. “Are you writing another best seller? I would love to read it if you have the time…and Malcolm…you should have some light on in here…you’ll make your eye strain so much worse if you don’t…”
Maybe…perhaps she could make something that would help him with eye strain…that was productive. That was helpful...
And that was what Mauvians were supposed to do. “Do you want to go for a walk? We should go for a walk, Malcolm. We both stink, I bet.”
It wasn’t true, but they could both use fresh air.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 4:09 pm
Malcolm immediately looked flustered. “I don’t,” he insisted, but she was a Mauvian so maybe her sense of smell was different. But he’d taken a shower just last night! Worriedly, he grabbed the front of his sweater and aired it out but all he could smell was the detergent.
His brows were still knit and his face had colored with embarrassment. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “I guess I lost track of time. I only meant to write a few pages but I guess I really got into it.”
…The sky was a totally different color than the last time he checked, and now that he was looking away from his screen he could feel the strain on his eyes. They were dry, so he reached for his eyedrops even as he attempted to blink away some of the discomfort.
“It wasn’t so dark earlier,” he promised. The curtains were at least partially open to let sunlight in–when there had been sunlight to let in. Hastily, he turned on the lamp by his desk and a warm glow cast across the room.
“We can go for a walk.” He was stiff, he practically cracked even from just that much. Placing the glasses on his desk, he tilted his head back and applied the eye drops to both eyes. “We can pick up dinner, too? I haven’t eaten in a while. I don’t know where Linnea is right now, I should ask if she wants anything. But I didn’t pull anything out for dinner.”
Oh, but she had mentioned how she didn’t want to mope, how she wanted to be productive, and here he was trying to think about dinner and forget that she said they stank. She didn’t smell so he had no idea what she was talking about.
“Are you sure nothing happened? I’m glad to get out and do something with you, you know you have my full support! I just don’t want to have missed something important! I care a lot about you, I’ve been worried for a while…”
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 4:29 pm
“You don’t really stink! I’ve just heard that phrase used when people need to get fresh air, you smell fine, Malcolm.” Julienne had to laugh a little at his reaction. Clearly she wasn’t wrong, and he had been cooped up for far too long. “That’s what happens when time passes, it gets dark…even worse that it’s lighter later in the evenings now, so you’ve really been at it. I hope that it was productive for you.”
She winced slightly as she watched him moving…if only humans could stretch like Mauvians could…it would be so good for everyone involved. “I would love dinner, yes please…and I’m sure that nothing happened. I helped another Senshi from Space earlier and I just…I miss being helpful. I miss…doing my job. And I wanted to hold myself accountable…so I’m telling you, and I’m promising that I’ll be…here more often.”
Sighing, Julienne rubbed against his leg.
“You deserve…have deserved better than I have been able to give.”
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 5:35 pm
Malcolm blinked at her, at first because he was trying to see through the eyedrops and then because he just wanted to make sure he was seeing her.
“You don’t owe me anything,” he said softly. He capped the eyedrops and smoothed down her fur again. “I’m glad you were able to help another Senshi. I’m proud of you.” It wasn’t said superfluous, he meant it genuinely. He knew how much responsibility a Mauvian carried. Finding senshi, awakening them, explaining things to them, upgrading them, looking after them…
It was a lot of work. She had to pour so much of her heart into it. He could imagine what that took.
Of course, he was glad that she didn’t think he really stank, and he was flattered that she thought he had a best seller, but honestly–
No, he was supposed to be working on the self-doubt. He’d been enjoying writing this, if nothing else. He felt good about it. And even if he still had a burning muse, a break was probably a very good idea. His stomach very nearly groaned so he preemptively rubbed it–and then her again.
The words could wait. He knew what he wanted to write and an hour out and about wasn’t going to challenge that.
“What sorts of things do you want to do?” he asked, partly to hear her out and get a better idea of what she was hoping for–and partly to try and plan what he could do to support her. He didn’t get up just yet because he didn’t want to disrupt her but he’d need to change into something just slightly more presentable–and brush his hair–if they were going to go out and get dinner.
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Posted: Wed May 15, 2024 6:51 pm
“Thank you, Malcolm. That means a lot to me…I just…want to make up for lost time…and just…” She sighed and rubbed against his leg once again. “It’s been hard. With Lenka. I just…I’ve been feeling. That I should have done something. I keep just…going over it in my mind if I had been there…if I had been more watchful…I just. I’m trying so hard to not let it eat at me…Or, that’s the…that’s what I’ve been trying to do. I just…hope that she’s happy. And okay. I want her to be okay.”
It was hard to say out loud. This…was something she had kept to herself…something she hadn’t wanted to face. But. Malcolm…deserved to know.
“I just…want to do what I’m supposed to again. Be a partner. Be…a friend. And not…a useless lump who can’t…keep her mind on anything…but. I feel like…I can start now.”
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2024 6:42 pm
Julienne didn’t talk about Lenka. It was almost as if her name alone was some sort of curse on her ears. Malcolm hadn’t known her but he knew that she was important to Julienne so he always listened attentively any time she was mentioned.
Malcolm gently stroked down her back, taking his time to work his fingers through her fur as he did so. “I know you can do it. I’ll support you in any way that I can. But don’t be too hard on yourself. You went through a lot…and it was totally out of your control.”
He understood wanting to make up for lost time, he just didn’t want her to push herself too hard or spread herself too thin.
“I hope she’s happy, too. And I hope you get to be.”
He already thought of her as a friend–and even if she had needed to take time to herself to rest and recover, he’d never thought of her as a useless lump. He’d always admired and respected her.
“I know you can do anything you put your mind to.” She was smart and determined and resilient, and kind and caring. He offered a hopeful smile. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
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Posted: Thu May 16, 2024 7:09 pm
Julienne listened…really listened, and she nodded, seeming to relax slightly, melting under his ministrations. “Thank you, Malcolm. I really, honestly appreciate that more than you can possibly know. I…I would like for you to keep inviting me places, and just…give me a look if I refuse? I…want to do things again…and I want to be held accountable if I try to isolate…”
She hoped it wasn’t too big of an ask, and hoped that he wouldn’t mind.
“Also…salmon is always a wonderful way to help me…I’m just saying.”
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Posted: Fri May 17, 2024 3:31 pm
A light chuckle fell from Malcolm’s lips and he nodded. “I should have guessed. We can do salmon.” Maybe they could get some good soup for Linnea, too.”
He didn’t really know what he wanted yet but he already had a restaurant in mind; he could just look at their menu from the app and order now. If he timed it right, they’d get there just in time to pick it up fresh.
Reaching for his phone to start the process, Malcolm smiled at her. “I don’t know if I’ll be good at giving you any sort of ‘looks’ but I’ll try. What do you have in mind for accountability?” He wasn’t really sure how to hold anyone accountable–her, especially–but he was going to try and play his part as best he could. He was sure she didn’t want him to just pick her up and carry her around with him if she tried to isolate but he was certain they could make a plan that worked best for her.
He had his own days where getting out of bed was hard, or doing things. It was far less common now than it used to be, but he understood that some days were just hard. He’d try to help her navigate through them if that’s what she wanted. He’d support her even if she did need some days to herself, though.
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Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:55 pm
Julienne made a happy chirping noise as Malcolm agreed to salmon. Really though, if more people in the world would just indulge in salmon…the world would be a far better place. “Just…don’t let me say no as often…if I do…and if you have time, I understand if you don’t, but just…ask me again and…I don’t know…remind me that I want to be better. There’s…there’s just a line I feel…where it’s not that I don’t want to do something…it’s that I’m so…used to not doing it…that it seems the normal thing…and I…need to break myself out of that pattern.”
It would be hard but…she truly hoped that she wasn’t asking too much of him. “I know…there will still be days when I just can’t…and I…I know you understand that. And I appreciate you so much for understanding that.”
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Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 5:17 pm
“I’ll do my best,” Malcolm promised. He didn’t have the most resolve and he had a hard time telling people no, or nagging, or taking up too much space, but for her? He’d try. He didn’t know how he could make sure he didn’t let her say no–he respected her boundaries! He understood when sometimes it was just too much!
He didn’t want her to resent him for badgering her or pushing her well outside of her comfort zone when she wasn’t able to handle it.
This felt like a very delicate, very important task.
Malcolm didn’t want to fail.
“We’ll figure it out together.”
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Posted: Tue May 21, 2024 6:54 pm
Julienne nodded, loving that idea. “I want to figure things out with you…I think…this is going to work out well!”
Or, at least she hoped so…and it was about time that her hopes came through. And came true.
This would work. This would absolutely work.
It would just take time.
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