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 Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 12:11 pm
Backdated to late November 2023.
It was going to get cold by the end of the week, like the current chill wasn’t bad enough. Evan would have been happier to be working just the kitchen, where it was toasty and safe, but he’d been in fairly good spirits lately. Most days, he had help in the truck. He’d been a bit spoiled lately, but it had given him more than enough time to recharge his social battery.
Today, he was out on his own. It was sort of a last minute plan, and there wasn’t a big event or anything so he wasn’t worried about having someone helping out at the counter. He didn’t remember the last time he’d had a slow day, business was good.
Tonight had been the perfect balance of active but stress-free, and he saw a lot of returning customers who had come out just because he’d posted on social media that they’d be out for a limited time tonight.
He got to use some of his stock before it went bad, got to enjoy the smell of fall, got to see some decorations and lights.
It was nice. It was also getting late, so he knew he had to start packing up to go. It had been a little over ten minutes since anyone had ordered, and his last customers had just finished eating and went on with their walk.
Evan was by a river tonight, so there was a beautiful, peaceful view. He didn’t come here often, so it was a treat for himself as much as it was his wallet. He might power up later, he hadn’t decided. He’d have to see if anyone else was in the mood. Maybe he could bribe them with some leftovers? He still had a bit too much to take back home with him.
He could stick it out for a little while longer.
In the distance, he could hear music playing–either a party, or some event. The moon was high enough that it chased away the shadows, and the sky still clung to the last bit of light from the setting sun. The busiest part of the city was behind him, so it felt like a good opportunity to just relax.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 12:39 pm
Riker felt stupid for being so anxious about talking to Evan. He knew he wouldn’t mind. Or at least hoped… But Riker wasn’t prepared to talk to someone else, or even show his face around Evan when someone else was there. So every time he managed to work up the courage to find Evan’s food truck but saw that someone else was with him, he quickly slunk away before Evan saw him.
Even now that he didn’t see someone in the food truck with Evan, Riker wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to approach. After all, it wasn’t as though they were even close to the same age. Was it weird that Riker wanted to talk to someone older than him? It was kind of like a mentor, right? Was that even a thing any more? Was it ever a thing?
He’d checked social media every day, of course. Sometimes the food truck was close, and sometimes it wasn’t, but tonight was close enough that, well… maybe he could build up enough courage to just say hello.
After making sure there was no one else with Evan, Riker quietly made his way over. The noise of the river was nice, and the bright light from the moon in the early evening helped with illuminating everything.
Not that he thought about how it would make it easier for anyone to see the few days old bruise that had turned an unpleasant shade of green and purple across his cheekbone. He had his jacket hood up, and his hair was shaggy enough that it poked out a bit comically from the opening.
“One mac and cheese, please,” he requested before Evan had a chance to even look up once he was close enough to the window to do so. He had to say something, otherwise he might have just turned around and run off.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 12:44 pm
The shadows protected Riker from Evan’s scrutiny, but the luxury wouldn’t last forever. Evan had to snap to attention and pull himself from his wandering thoughts when Riker’s voice cut through.
At first, he didn’t recognize him, but the voice was too familiar, and before he could disappear to the back of the truck to fetch it, it clicked. “Riker! I was thinking about you recently. Hold on, let me get your mac and cheese.”
And a grilled cheese sandwich, and a bottle of water.
“I was thinking about closing up, do you want to come in while I clean up?”
…Wait, was that weird? It wasn’t supposed to be, and now that he had a chance to see Riker, Evan thought he looked oddly curled into himself. Evan didn’t think it was his imagination, but something just seemed off. Instinctively, he glanced around and looked for some annoying gaggle of kids but tonight Riker seemed to be alone.
It was just them, and people passing through in the distance.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 1:28 pm
Evan was thinking about him recently? He could feel his ears burning as he shuffled his feet. He hoped that it wasn’t a bad reason that he was thinking about him. And he hoped that Evan wouldn’t regret helping him out and start thinking bad things about him… Not that Riker would blame him if he did.
“Oh… uh…” he paused to glance around as if trying to make a tough decision, when really he just wanted to hurry up and hide in the food truck. “Yeah, I guess, if I won’t be in the way,” he mumbled awkwardly and, after another glance around, shuffled his way towards the back of the food truck to wait to be let in.
He just really hoped this wasn’t a bad idea. It was hard enough that he didn’t know what he was doing, but if Evan decided that he also deserved to be given the cold shoulder for what he’d done to his friends-- ….. To the people he’d hung out with, then…
Riker sighed heavily, and maybe somewhat dramatically, and by the time Evan had the door open and Riker looked up, he unintentionally met Evan’s gaze with such helplessness that Riker immediately felt his ears burn darker and had to look away.
“How’s uh. Business?” he mumbled, because that was better to talk about.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 4:43 pm
The second the light hit Riker’s face, a look of worry crossed Evan’s.
“Riker, what happened?”
It wasn’t just the bruise, or the way he was wearing his hood, it was the helplessness radiating from him, too. He reached out his hand, like he was tempted to turn Riker’s head so he could see the bruise better, but he stopped himself.
“Is that new? I have some ice,” he offered. The door of the truck was closed so he hurried to close the serving window and pull a chair out for him.
“Business–are you really interested in that or are you trying to give me something else to talk about so I don’t worry about you? I’m a worrier, Riker, I can’t help it. Business is good, though. But tell me what happened.”
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 6:56 pm
Riker bristled uncomfortably when Evan pointed out the bruise. Not because of Evan! He just… was trying to ignore it. And most people didn’t say anything about it, anyway.
“What? Yeah, of course I’m interested. What am I going to do if I can’t find you so easily?”
Oh… was that weird to say? It felt weird to say now that he said it.
“Like… for your grilled cheese I mean. And I know you don’t use coconut so I don’t have to worry about, you know, not breathing,” he shrugged dramatically as though that was going to help get the point across better.
As for the bruise…
Riker tugged at the hood of his jacket to awkwardly cover his cheek some more.
“Oh it’s not that new. A couple days but. It was just an accident. You know. I just wasn’t paying attention to things,” he mumbled as he took a seat.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 7:35 pm
If it wasn’t new, maybe he didn’t need ice, but Evan still sighed heavily and gave him a look. The answer was dismissive and avoidant so he didn’t press it, but he looked at Riker for long enough that he hoped the boy understood he was worried about it.
He didn’t look like he wanted to talk about it and Evan could respect that; he’d begrudgingly tried to hide his own fair share of bruises when he was younger. He’d been embarrassed, ashamed. If Riker was feeling that, Evan didn’t want to smother him and make it worse.
“Okay,” he answered cautiously. “Well, you don’t have to hide it, it’s okay. I won’t ask if it's something you don’t want to talk about.”
Instead of cleaning, he just leaned against the counter and tried not to look like he was concerned about Riker. He looked at him, not the bruise “Even if I’m not out with the food truck, you can call or text. I can make more than just grilled cheese.” It was one of his favorites.
He might have said more, but something about Riker’s demeanor made him want to make sure Riker had a space to talk without feeling pressured or spoken over.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 7:41 pm
The suggestion about just calling or texting pulled a snort from Riker, although it was more at how desperate that would have made him seem than anything humorous.
It would make him seem desperate, right? He didn’t want to seem like he was helpless. Although he hesitantly let go of the hood, but kept his eyes very purposefully averted from Evan’s gaze.
“I bet you could make a lot of things. It’s a good talent to have,” he shrugged so it didn’t seem like he was praising him too much. He didn’t want Evan to think that he knew nothing about cooking. Although he didn’t know much.
“Um… do you think certain foods will, like… make people like someone else more? Not like, you know. Fall in love or anything gross like that but. Someone can’t apologize with a hotdog, can they? Not that. I mean. I don’t know…” he trailed off awkwardly. He had no idea where he was going with his thoughts.
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Posted: Sat Feb 17, 2024 7:47 pm
As promised, Evan didn’t needle him about the source of the bruise, or stare.
“I don’t know if a hot dog is a good apology, but. Yeah, I mean. I’ve had people apologize to me by bringing me food. When I’m sick, I really like–don’t judge me, because, you know,” he gestured to the mac and cheese, “but I really like Kraft Mac and Cheese. You know, out of the box. When I was in high school, I’d have fallen in love with anyone who made me some. I know it’s tacky.”
He was quiet for a moment and then shrugged. “It would have been nice to know that someone spent time thinking about me and trying to make me feel better.”
Evan rested his elbows on the counter behind him and pressed his lips together thoughtfully.
“I made a lot of food to apologize to people. And I think it worked because they’re still in my life. Who do you want to apologize to?”
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 6:28 am
Riker sat quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he listened. He couldn’t remember exactly why he thought ‘yes, I should see Evan,’ but he already appreciated some of the advice he was being given.
Not that he needed any advice or. Something silly like that.
“I can’t imagine you needing to apologize to people,” Riker snorted lightly again, chancing a glance up at Evan. “What? Did you have to apologize for being too nice? Too quiet? Forgetting someone’s birthday?”
Sure, he didn’t know much about Evan, but from what little he’d learned of him, he was caring and thoughtful and worried. Which, well, he’d said as much just a moment ago.
As for who he wanted to apologize to, he shrugged again.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled stubbornly.
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Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2024 10:40 am
Of course Riker knew who he wanted to apologize to, he just didn’t want to tell Evan. He wasn’t really doing a good job of being subtle but Evan didn’t laugh even if he thought the effort he was putting into his secrets was almost comical. Being a teenager was a big deal! Everything was life or death.
“Sometimes,” Evan answered, and he briefly pushed away from the counter so he could go get a grilled cheese sandwich for himself. He unwrapped the wax paper and took a seat on the little bench across from Riker.
“I was super insecure and I thought everyone hated me for everything. For existing. For breathing too much, for taking up too much space.” He shrugged and took a bite out of the corner of his sandwich, but it wasn’t so big that he couldn’t speak around it.
“I had bad taste in dates so I got stuck with people who didn’t really care about me and it didn’t do much for my self esteem so I started to think everything was my problem. And I kinda got bitchy a lot, too. I only kinda grew out of some of that.”
But Riker was being nice and complimenting him, and he made sure to flash a little smile when he caught Riker’s eyes. “I was a big suck up. I made a lot of mistakes. I wanted to try and make it up to my parents especially, I guess. That didn’t work out. But, um.” He hummed and leaned back but shrugged again like he wanted to dismiss it. “It’s complicated, it’s old news. It’s kind of boring, and in hindsight, I should have done things differently. Mostly, I think I should have been nicer to myself. I tried to do everything on my own like I had to prove myself. To like, I don’t know. Myself. I was dumb, I’ll tell you more some other time. Why are you thinking about apologizing to someone? It’s not those kids you were with the last time I saw you, is it?”
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 7:46 pm
“That’s stupid,” Riker frowned as he finally started working on unwrapping his own sandwich. “How can anyone be mad at you for taking up too much space? You’re so small.”
Was that weird to say? Probably. But Riker was taller than him, despite being younger. Pretty sure he had more muscle on him too, but that was just because he played sports.
Muscle didn’t really help when he couldn’t do anything to defend himself.
But he couldn’t imagine Evan being bitchy, much less mean. He just frowned heavily at the sandwich before finally taking a bite. He caught Evan’s glance and smile and immediately glanced back down at his sandwich so he could make sure the hood covered his ears. He could still feel them burning, and he didn’t want the color to start creeping over to his cheeks.
“Yeah, parents are kinda stupid like that,” he shrugged and then let out an incredulous scoff. “What? No way, those guys aren’t my--”
Ah… he didn’t exactly have friends anyway. Or he had a chance to have friends, and then blew it.
“I don’t know,” he mumbled again, but immediately cringed. He wasn’t trying to get Evan to not want to talk to him! He just didn’t know how to explain it. Oh, except…
“Maybe I don’t like being an a*****e.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 8:35 pm
Evan huffed when Riker commented on his size but it wasn’t like he was growing anymore, anyway. He wasn’t really offended about it, he’d made his peace.
“You’re an a*****e? Says who?”
Evan took another bite.
“You’ve been nice to me for as long as I’ve known you.”
A little sassy, a little brusque. Never mean. And certainly never an a*****e.
Evan planted his elbows on his knees and leaned forward a little bit to relax while he chewed. “Tell me what happened. I’m not going to judge you. But maybe I can give better suggestions if I know what’s going on. And if you want to make an apology meal, I can help you. If you want. But at least give me the opportunity to know if they deserve it.”
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 10:01 pm
Riker glanced wearily over at Evan, who looked so calm and relaxed, despite being told that the kid sitting in his food truck was an a*****e. He was clearly having a hard time believing it.
Oh, how wrong he was.
“Made fun of a classmate’s locker because he’d decorated it. Made fun of him. Told some other boys that they looked like girls and made fun of what they were eating. Mocked a guy on my baseball team for having a boyfriend. Made fun of a girl’s name and hair because it was a weird color and a name I hadn’t heard before.”
There was more, but specifically for the people he wanted to apologize to… and for what he’d done most recently. For people he knew he could find, instead of the poor kids his brother’s friends had targeted while he was around.
But Riker braced himself. He could only assume that this would be the point in which Evan decided that yeah, he was too much of an a*****e to want around.
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Posted: Wed Feb 21, 2024 10:21 pm
Evan was quiet for a minute and then shrugged. “That’s not too bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not good, but that’s not too bad. That’s really mature that you want to apologize, though. I bet it’ll mean a lot to them.”
Riker obviously wasn’t proud of any of this. He looked embarrassed, and obviously felt guilty about it. He knew what he’d done was wrong. Evan wasn’t going to sugar coat it, but the first step to making things right was knowing that you needed to.
“I got bullied a lot in high school. Sometimes I still think about the things people said to me. About me. There’s videos of it somewhere on the internet still, I think. You know, ‘pranks’. Out of everybody, only one of them ever apologized to me. Anyway, he’s basically my best friend now but I don’t think you’d ever hear him say that. He’s Mr. Big Macho Guy who can’t have feelings and has to be tough all the time. Sounds exhausting.”
He knew it was, he’d seen the toll it took on Zac. Not that Evan was proud of getting frustrated and having breakdowns every now and then, but at least he could have a good cry and sleep it off.
“What made you want to do all of those things in the first place? …And what made you want to apologize for them?”
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