- 聖: kiyo, “holy, sacred.”
志: shi, “purpose, will, determination, aspiration, ambition.”
桜: sakura, “cherry tree (esp. Prunus serrulata, Japanese cherry); cherry blossom.”
沢: zawa, “marsh, wetland; blessed, highly favored; having in abundance; mountain stream.”
Nickname: Kiki. Magdalene Yotsuya Wilde on all the socials for his drag. Call him “Yoshi” and you can meet the business end of his cute pumps.
Gender/Pronoun: Exhausted. Needs/Nap. (Cis man, any pronouns except “it.” Usually goes with he/him, but is comfortable with she/her or they/them. If using a personal pronoun in Japanese, prefers atashi あたし.)
Age: 25. 26. 27. 28. 27, according to his shiny new civilian ID (but he knows he had his birthday back in February).
Birthday: February 29th, 1996. October 31st, 1996.
Sign: Pisces. Scorpio.
Gemstone: As of his purification, opal and tourmaline (but he still remembers that the original answer was amethyst and doesn’t plan to stop liking them).
Blood Type: B+
Fav. Food: He really doesn’t want to discuss this right now. (The answer hasn’t changed—strawberries, his godfather’s mac and cheese, his grandfather’s shiitake udon, and chicken nuggets—he just doesn’t want to talk about it.)
Hated Food: Nor this, either. (This answer hasn’t changed either: blueberries, limes, avocado, mayonnaise, and Taco Bell.)
School: None, at the moment. He may start back at DCU again eventually, but he needs some time to settle before he can handle that, emotionally. Also, he needs space to think about his goals and dreams and all of that.
Occupation: Why can’t “Sailor Murikabushi” be his occupation, exactly? That used to be a thing a thousand years ago, right? Frankly, given how complicated and exhausting the senshi life is, this sounds like the most sensible and reasonable idea. Honestly, asking Kiyoshi to pick another job is senshi-phobic against him personally. ……Also, Blossom loves him very much and gave him a job at Puppy Paws doing pretty much anything BUT baking.
Hobbies:
i put on some makeup, some lavern baker. i’m pulling the wig down from the shelf (Drag): Prior to his purification, Kiyoshi had officially been a drag queen for ten years, but unofficially, his drag journey goes back to childhood, the first time he and his drag mom played with makeup together. Reestablishing himself as an entirely new drag persona……sure is an experience. Right now, a lot of his drag lives on social media: TikTok videos/Youtube shorts where he does dramatic before and after transformations set to music (or acts out silly sketches with himself in drag vs. himself out of drag, or does things that are relevant to various drag cosplay looks); Instagram posts of different looks, with a mix of selfies and photos that his best guy Yuki took for him (including his cosplays); making dumb “relatable” posts on twitter or tumblr to get attention; preparing to rope any willing participants into doing Drag Race reviews with him on Youtube (because Drag Race content appeals to the algorithm gods more than any drag artistry that isn’t somehow related to a reality TV competition); etc.
This social media queen schtick is all well and fine, Kiyoshi guesses? It’s tiding him over because he doesn’t want to swan back onto the local scene as Magdalene Yotsuya Wilde so soon after Sayuri Kurobara Disobedience “mysteriously went missing.” But he doesn’t understand how or why any of the so-called “bedroom queens” of social media choose to live like this. He’s glad they’re happy, but he is LITERALLY DYING without the electric energy of a live audience (read: he strongly prefers performing live and he’s going to be pointlessly dramatic about expressing it).… If anybody wants to get put up in drag and help him make the House of Wilde a thing, he’s down, just call him. Please, for the love of god, let him do drag things with an actual human person, having to care about algorithms and using censorship-safe nonsense word-substitutions like “unalive” and “corn” is LITERALLY KILLING HIM.
one stitch, two stitch, dead b***h, blue stitch (Textile Arts): In particular, Kiyoshi tends to favor sewing and garment construction. This isn’t to say that he doesn’t do anything else by a longshot—he’d actually list knitting or crochet as his favorite form of textile art, if pressed—but he does the most sewing, hands down, no question. It’s an unavoidable reality of having both the fashion sensibilities that he does (which is to say: a smoothie blended out of several specific flavors of Lolita fashion, every gender-ambiguous goth-adjacent babe from your favorite shoujo or josei manga, and Kiyoshi’s lifelong dream of being a princess in the “fantasy novels and Disney movies” sense of the term) and a body like his (meaning: tall, broad-shouldered, could easily pass as a cis gay gym-bro if he dressed differently and didn’t work hard to cultivate his Femme Vibes). Almost nothing he wants to wear tends to come in sizes he can wear, so Kiyoshi makes most of his own clothes, even before you account for his drag wardrobe. That said, he’d rather make things for other people, and if Kiyoshi cares about you, you can expect to be given gifts like handmade scarves, crocheted plushie friends (he’d love to make some that look like the critters on some of his senshi-friends’ home-worlds), and articles of clothing (please let him make you a pretty dress, he’ll work with you on what kinds of styles and fabrics you like, and do his best to make you something that makes you feel fabulous).
canon is a deer in a habitat where the predators have been driven away, and i am a coyote discovering a wonderful new hunting ground (Fandom/Fanfiction): More the fanfiction than anything else about fandom participation, if he’s honest. He writes his silly little gay stories (and sometimes Cersei/Jaime, the only M/F ship he writes with any frequency), about his silly little media that he likes, usually smashing his silly little favorite fictional dolls together because it makes him happy and people on the Internet give him validation about it. If not that, then he’s making silly little dragged out cosplays to post on Instagram, TikTok/Youtube shorts, etc. (primarily to get attention for his drag, but also [usually] out of genuine love for the characters and fandoms he does this for [though sometimes, it’s for the algorithm]), or turning his fics into homemade zines, like he learned to do from his grandmother.
Very occasionally, you might catch him expressing an opinion about one of the books, shows, movies, or video games he enjoys without putting it in a fanfic, but he has learned the hard way that he doesn’t want to do that too often. People will jump down his throat about writing fic about “the wrong character” (e.g., Jiang Cheng from Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed) or “the wrong ship” (e.g., Cazador Szarr/Astarion Ancunín from Baldur’s Gate 3, one of his current favorite “Bad Wrong And ******** Up, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” ships) as much as they will for expressing that he enjoys these things. Better, he thinks, that he should make his fics (which people can choose not to engage with) than say random opinions on social media or fight people in the comments section.
i could make it longer if you like the style & i wanna be a paperback writer (Fiction Writing, Generally): Kiyoshi has a lot of ideas for original fiction and a lot of desire to pursue them in some capacity……but he doesn’t have a lot of faith in his original ideas to be “worth” the time and effort. Part of his reluctance comes from how fanfiction has long been something that he shared with his Obaasan, and purification makes that sort of complicated right now—but he also knows that she loved and supported his original ideas as much as she did his fanfic ones. At the moment, a lot of his ideas for original stories (many of them overlap with similar sorts of enemies to lovers, Complicated Relationships With Romance, and monster boyfriend themes you can easily find in his fics) get written down in notebooks, his google docs, his Notes app, or texts and DMs with friends, then mostly collect dust. He’s trying to reach out and find more original fic-writing friends, though.
there are many names in history, but none of them are ours (Space History): Kiyoshi will admit: this hobby is extremely dependent on any fellow senshi or Knights being open to working with him; he just feels extremely feral about history, space, and doing history research in space. On his own, he can only access the ruins of Murikabushi and his own past life’s memories. These things fascinate him, yes, and he spends a lot of time between homeworld visits vibrating with anticipation, waiting for his senshi phone to tell him he can visit again. But Murikabushi isn’t the only world out there, nor did its history exist in a vacuum, and Kiyoshi wants to learn everything about any worlds and/or Wonders he can.
Kiyoshi would love to sit people down for interviews about the histories of their places of power (especially Deep Space senshi, but not exclusively). He would love to visit other people’s places of power and see different parts of their stories. He would love to dig in the ruins of Fang’s homeworld until they find records they can use as a Rosetta Stone, then work to try and reconstruct the Fangan language……but he also knows that all of these ideas depend on other people giving him those privileges.…… Please? He can provide references or tell you about the scholarship that informs his personal approach to doing history, if you want??
Virtues:
never forget what you are, for surely the world will not (Earnest): Kiyoshi Sakurazawa always wants to live as his most authentic self and very strongly dislikes being asked to fake as though he is anything but Entirely Himself. Most people don’t actually ask that of him, outside of maybe asking him to tone it down a little, but the point remains: he doesn’t enjoy wasting his time on pretending anything that doesn’t align with his personal sense of who he is and/or the version of himself who he wants to be. This does not mean he is always honest—e.g., he will stifle his own upsets and hurt in order to be there for someone else; if he feels Threatened or Attacked, he will probably push people away and get bitey about projecting an appearance of what he feels is confidence; etc.—and he does regret some of his impulsive decisions later. But even if how he’s actually feeling differs from the energy he’s giving off, the way he behaves does ultimately come from his desire to be the self he considers The Most Authentic One.
i am a lioness. i will not cringe for them / so, give a round of applause for nerve. ‘cause with y’all vicious ********, it *DO* take nerve (Determined): When Kiyoshi cares about what he’s doing, he goes in full-throttle and won’t stop until he’s either accomplished what he set out to do or been forced to stop. It’s not enough for him to make a good time on his 10k run, write a perfectly sufficient paper, or give an adequately satisfactory performance; he must aim to constantly top himself and outdo his old bests. Even if he doesn’t hit the high, self-imposed bar, he needs to know he tried. Not trying, to Kiyoshi, is the worst thing he could do. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? You may not particularly like what Kiyoshi is bringing to the table, but he’s still going to bring it and whatever happens, happens because at least he can know that he tried.
do you think that this might have shook the love from me? how could you think, darlin’, that i’d scare so easily? (Compassionate): No matter how snarky he can be or how little he censors himself in an argument, in his heart, Kiyoshi is someone who cares very deeply about people, their pain, their problems, etc. While the Most Authentic Self he wants to be is definitely a lot of things like “confident,” “dazzling,” and “special,” the real core of that Most Authentic Self is his desire to be the sort of person who would’ve helped his younger self, when he was going through his own rough patches. Listening to people vent, offering solace or advice, giving them leeway and patience when they need it, putting on a drag show that makes them smile—Kiyoshi wants to do whatever he can to help make people’s bad times more bearable, and offer them at least some semblance of understanding when a lot of the world either can’t or won’t.
if someone ever tells me it’s a mistake to have hope, i’ll just tell them they’re wrong, and i’ll keep telling them ‘til they believe (Idealistic): While some of Kiyoshi’s old willfully self-deluded tendencies remain very much intact, a lot of his experiences as a member of the Dark Mirror Court have inspired him to work on them. He may not be the best at reality-checking whatever nonsense he’s gotten it in his head to believe today (e.g, he currently believes that he is incapable of Transcendence because it obviously only happens to “cool” senshi like Ida and Kerberos, not wannabes like he sees himself). He’s at least open to asking people for a reality-check and admitting it when he’s wrong, though, which is a considerable improvement. However, you are never going to convince Kiyoshi to stop believing that things can get better, or that people deserve better/don’t deserve to suffer unnecessarily. You are never going to convince him that it’s wrong to hope for people to make better choices or be their best selves, even if they’ve done terrible things before. You are never going to convince him that things being shitty and unfair right now means that they need to stay that way, and if you want to try and break his faith, then he cordially invites you to go ******** yourself.
Flaws:
is it me? am *i* the drama? i don’t think i’m the drama.…… maybe i am. ;D (Dramatic): Kiyoshi Sakurazawa always wants to live as his Most Authentic Self, which sure sounds great on paper, doesn’t it.
Unfortunately, his Most Authentic Self is an emotional maximalist. He feels things very intensely (even when he wishes that he didn’t), he cares too much for his own good (even when whatever he’s caring about today doesn’t strike anyone else as significant), and he does not go gentle about pretty much anything (even when he knows it would be a better idea than however he has chosen to handle things today). Statistically speaking, Kiyoshi is more likely to Do The Most in any given situation, whether you want him to or not, regardless of whether or not it’s a good idea, and even though “calming down and being less Like This” is almost always a perfectly valid option. If you’re exhausted by dealing with him, he empathizes, he really does……but please consider: you actually get to take a break from the way his emotions are constantly turned up to 11. Kiyoshi has to live with himself all the time, so how do you think he feels?
no one’s gonna need me anyway, right? i’m okay with that (Self-Value? Who Is She?): Kiyoshi does not, per se, hate himself and one of the quickest ways to make him angry is to say that you think he does. Excuse you, no, but he would very much like to be excluded from that narrative, and in fairness: yes, he acknowledges that he has strengths and talents.…… He just doesn’t believe that any of them are worth mentioning unless someone else benefits from them, or tells him they’re worth mentioning. Pretty much his entire concept of his value as a person comes from other people’s reactions to him or his own sense of what he means to them. Writing profiles on dating sites or the Order Connections app is a ******** Ordeal for Kiyoshi because he feels like he is the epitome of Nothing Special. His value depends on what he can be, do, and give to/for others—and if you ask him, none of what he offers is so unique that nobody else could do it.
i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror; it must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero (Martyr Complex): Kiyoshi has heard of this notion that you shouldn’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm, and he has deposited that idea in his mental dumpster fire of unnecessary nonsense, where (he feels) it belongs. It’s not that he enjoys being in pain like this, because he doesn’t……but he cares more about other people’s pain than his own. This self-sacrificing tendency has been a problem for a long time with him, but it has gotten even worse since he Awakened. In his mind, his senshi magic comes with a responsibility to use that power for the sake of others—especially civilians, whose ability to protect themselves is so limited. He has dozens of extra rationalizations, if you don’t want to hear him out about great power inherently conveying great responsibility, but ultimately? The point is that Kiyoshi feels it’s better for him to be in pain than someone else. He feels that wanting things is proof that he “doesn’t deserve” to have them, and probably also that he isn’t taking his duties seriously enough.
(None of these judgments apply to other people, even other powered individuals, because Kiyoshi assumes that they have some inherent value outside of what they can sacrifice for others. But it’s different for him, see, because his value is determined by what he can give for others. Yes, it’s hypocritical; he isn’t pretending otherwise. He just thinks that it’s perfectly reasonable and justified hypocrisy, so no, he doesn’t plan to give it up.)
my little french vanilla fantasy / a self-contained illusion. a maze with no exit, where prey is lured and led astray (Willfully Self-Deluded): Despite having the idea to work on this, Kiyoshi very much remains prone to getting certain ideas in his gay little brain and sticking to them in spite of evidence to the contrary. When Kiyoshi decides what feels most true to him personally, he commits to it and feels his fantasy so hard that it becomes his personal reality. Whatever he feels may not reflect actual reality. In fact, it regularly doesn’t, even when his fantasy version may be based on reality to some degree (e.g., how he interprets someone else’s behavior toward him). Regardless, Kiyoshi is going to cling to it until he can’t anymore. It’s better to disabuse him of these ideas sooner rather than later, but if he keeps them more or less to himself (as he often does), nobody can be blamed for not correcting him. After all, it’s hard to address an issue that you don’t even know exists.
