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 Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:30 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:39 pm
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“I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Even if he wasn’t fine, even if it was a lot, he was sure he’d manage it because he needed to for the others sake. He needed to understand and know. Taking the offered earring he was careful in removing the one he’d been pierced with. It was still a bit tender, though healed, because he kept rolling onto it at night while he slept. He knew it was a bad thing, the piercer said as much, but he couldn’t help it. At least it had healed with no issues and he was able to change it out finally - so he did just that. He was careful in removing the old and putting in the new earring but it was done.
Wrapping an arm about the other he nosed at the others hair gently. “You ok? I know this is a lot and if it’s too soon you can tell me. I’m not going to push.” Even if it was the others idea. He was willing to back off on this, to call it off for now, if it was too much for Aloysius and he was pushing himself. Liam wasn’t going to let the other push himself more than he could handle, even if he had been pushing him on things. He’d been pushing, yes, a lot on certain issues but it was to make a dent and get the other to acknowledge the issues and let him work on a plan to handle them at a pace they could work with.
Liam felt like he’d broken certain walls down and the other was at least allowing the discussions and knew he was planning a doctor's trip, and wasn’t against it as much now, but now he just needed to find the proper doctor. He could do that not aht Aloysius was willing to even speak on the topic and tell him what he needed to do for things to happen.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:39 pm
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“Okay, just let me know.” The arm around him felt good, and reassured him that he wasn’t going to fall apart. He’d already taken the step of getting his ears pierced, something he’d never planned on doing before, so he had to keep on with the plan. They’d given him an out though, a chance to step back on this, unlike the other things they’d pushed him to do. Part of him wanted to take it as he brought his arms up to wrap around them but he really needed to stop running from it.
“Just.. have to rip it off like a bandaid right?” A nervous laugh as he closed his eyes and buried his face in their neck. “This is… the crow..” Focusing on it, that last image he’d seen, of a warped and tortured monster down near the gate to the Rift. Trying to portray how he’d felt, how he’d been so shattered by the whole event. Trying to work through it as the moment stared back frozen in time. Another moment, one where he’d first met them with his General, where they’d had their starseed taken out and he’d given it back to them. When he’d been confident and curious, pulled in by the poisonous man. That tension in his neck built as he had to focus on it to make sure the images got across like a slow-motion flip book.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:40 pm
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“I do agree with that a lot, as you know.” He did prefer ripping bandages off and dealing with issues, it might be sudden and abrupt, but it allowed issues to be dealt with quickly rather than sit and fester.
While the other focused on what he wanted Liam to see the blond had closed his eyes in order to focus on what he needed to see. It wasn’t what he wished it would be, no scene to play out in his mind, but rather images and sort of feelings to go with it. It gave some idea of what Aloysius wanted him to understand but it wasn’t the best; but it was all he’d get he knew.
So this person, this General with feathers, had a huge influence over Aloysius and something big and bad had happened. Not only that but they’d hurt the other…and why hadn’t Aloysius hurt them back? Either way this person had once had the others respect, clearly, for him to feel so upset over the person winding up so twisted looking. Why had this general allowed their starseed to be taken? Was it just a demonstration? He did understand showing others how to do it, not that he agreed with starseed pulling, but to use yourself for the lesson…that was messed up. He didn’t get why how the relationship had gotten to the point where Aloysius would feel such emotion over seeing them with features but he was sure there was a story behind it. “Why let yourself feel so broken by him?”
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:41 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:41 pm
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“It seems like they more than pulled you in, what I did pick up from that feather vision of them. They more than pulled you in but how? How close were the two of you that they managed such a strong feeling to that sight?” Holding the other just a little bit tighter as they spoke, as he himself spoke, he needed to understand and he was certain by the end of this he’d better understand things. He would understand a bit better how Aloysius was the way he was, and how to perhaps help more and more efficiently.
“You didn’t end up like they did though, and I doubt you would have. Even if you share some of the same things it doesn’t mean you share everything and it doesn’t mean you are them. But i can understand the shock it must have had and the worry that those few things in common would cause the same results for yourself.” Though he’d have hoped Aloysius would have seen what they’d become, and how they’d become that, and avoid it for themselves without making too many drastic changes and having too much panic.
“I’m certain you tried to do your best for them, considering how close you two must have been, and the fact they still wound up dead was not your fault.” He knew the other well enough, at least he thought he did, to know they’d have done their best to save someone they were close to. If he’d failed it wasn’t for lack of trying but rather something else…something which couldn’t have been helped. “You aren’t at fault for it, I know that without even knowing everything which happened.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:42 pm
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It was hard, looking back on it and knowing there was nothing really there. “Poisoned words… they knew what to say and had such promises that catered to me. It was nothing though, one-sided if anything. I thought I was the one to pull people in to use them up, not to have the same done in return.” That sick taste in his mouth at how he’d been, how very much like Mel still was. “I was far from a nice person back then Liam, trying to put up walls and keep people out but I still got entangled in things. It was always about me…”
Sighing as they held him tighter, he felt terrible about things. “It just kept happening too, each time I would put up new walls and keep to myself. But people kept popping up and then disappearing just as I got comfortable.” Focusing on other moments, a dark alley looking down at his broken arm. The overwhelming fear of being hunted by a senshi and then a bystander who found him, Marot. Scared to be seen by a doctor, to be found by the senshi, and finished off.
Another moment, looking down at a phone showing the line had been disconnected, that Marot was gone and the sadness that came with it. More scars, more wounds showing one by one in still images as he looked down at himself in his memories.
A gravestone with his name on it, fuzzy beneath a thin layer of liquor that hazed his memories. A corrupt senshi pulled him off the ground, then a flash to Benitoite’s office. That feeling of coming apart at the seams without that haze of alcohol to dull things. It felt overwhelming. “They told me that they too had died, after becoming a traitor…” He hadn’t even been there to do anything, hadn’t even known. Just holed himself up in the Rift when not teaching, days blending together.
“I knew so much, everything I had seen and heard written but it was worthless. Just stuck in a loop until you found me on that bench. Day in and day out, all in a haze barely limping through.” Just the thought that he should have died so long ago. A dull image, a man with a face similar to his own above him, his father. Hands wrapped around his throat as the edges of his vision darkened. Pure fear coursed through him as he struggled, unable to get them off him until the image turned black.
“I could have died there… but he figured that when I stopped breathing that had been it. Part of me had wondered for the longest time if I would have been better off if it had.” Holding onto them tightly, he took a few shaky breaths. “Things are better now but… there has been a lot that comes back up to haunt me. Even now I am still scared that something will happen to you and everything will cycle back to the same day in and out, caught in a haze with no real reason to keep going. I know that you say it cannot be all my fault or that I should not hold myself accountable for things that are out of my control but that was and is how I am. I am selfish if nothing else and I do not like it when I fail.”
It was more than that and they’d seen it when they pushed him, how everything had to be fine so he could keep denying the problem and keep going.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:42 pm
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“Yes, but you also I think had a certain arrogance…so think of it this way perhaps. They were beneath you so of course they failed - of course you couldn’t save them…they were too far beneath you?” He questioned whilst pressing his lips to the other’s temple gently. “I can understand a bit better now. You’ve lost a lot, you’ve almost lost yourself, and I see what now. I can assure you that unless death itself takes me I’m not leaving you. I’ve told you I turned down potential families - all to wait.” He was loyal and he knew it was, for him, not some virtue as most would think it. He’d stabbed himself in the foot, multiple times, because he was too loyal. Here though it might just be a good thing, for someone who needed a person to not leave them or betray them.
“That one who hurt you…the feathered one. I’m sure he did it to everyone around him. All he knew was how to use and abuse and manipulate. Sometimes those sorts of people we don’t expect…why would we? “ Petting the other's hair he pressed another kiss to his temple.
“To survive it all, to drop the bad habits, and to face it again and remain in this war. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You haven’t left, by one means or another.” Aloysius had a lot of respect from Liam, now more than before even, but the other would see to it that the other remained safe and unharmed from others. He’d been hurt too much. Liam would just need to be his shield and he was ok with that. He could do that for Aloysius who had provided him so much.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:43 pm
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“I… am not sure.” He hesitated as he spoke, focusing more on them trying to comfort him with kisses. Aloysius hugged Liam tightly as the tears started, tension fading a bit now that he’d gotten it out enough for them to understand. He was so tired from it all, the hurt, the running, and handling everything on his own. “I need you Liam, you have to stay safe. Just like with the other night when I fell through the ice, anything can happen. If you need to, bring Desiree when you go out to keep hidden or at least to have someone with you if I cannot go.”
Another kiss right after a punch to his gut, a truth he had learned from Benitoite but had kept skirting around and avoiding. “I know that now… he got to so many people, hurt so many people. My fellow general, Benitoite, was affected too. They are the general I told you about, the one who I have as a backup. When the building burned down they had to be carried out because they did not want to leave. They had not seen where I had teleported the other out and wanted to stay to not abandon them…”
It felt odd to be called a survivor, foreign to be called strong, and he wanted to deny it but he was so tired of fighting things. But he’d made it through sobering up and things were a lot clearer now, for better or for worse. Tilting his head up a bit, he kissed them back. Maybe it did make sense though…. He had done a lot, had even helped and saved a few people. Even now he was working on things that would protect people in the Rift and help others survive in that wasteland of a place.
“I just have to build myself back up, bit by bit. You have been doing so much to keep me on the right path, to keep me from falling back to my old crutches. I am so glad you found me that night and that you agreed to be with me when I asked.” They hadn’t run even after being faced with all the ugliness of things. Even now Liam was helping, understanding, and making sure he was okay. “I love you, so very much Liam.” He said it firmly, making sure they knew it. Because he needed them to know it after all they’d done for him.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:44 pm
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“I’ll be safe, I’ll make sure of it.” He would, if it would assure the other of things, take the mauvian with him. He knew she couldn’t do much but she could do enough to make Aloysius feel safe with him going out. “We should have her keep a cell phone in subspace as well, for her own safety as well.” Just in case, it sounded like a good idea in his own head. Weren’t mauvians good with technology anyway? He couldn’t see her turning down her own cell phone, especially when they taught her to use it. It would allow her to reach one of them as a civilian if need be, wherever she was, it would be a good safety net for her as well.
“Then it really isn’t your fault, not if he manipulated others as well as yourself. It sounds like he left many broken in his wake…and for that you should hold some anger. Not all this sadness and anger at yourself. You should hold some anger for them, for what they did to you and others.
“I’m not one to back down from things…not when they matter to me. It’s a terrible weakness of mine, though it works for us here.” When normally it did not work for him, or at least it hadn’t in the past. “You aren’t going to shake me, I’m here to help even if it’s hard to accept and even if it is a long path. I’ve faced worse, I’m certain of it, at least here I have people around me and a family. I have you, and your sister, I have my court. I’ll help you build back up because I want to see it, and because you deserve it, you can’t just continue letting the ghost of a long dead officer triumph over you as they have been all this time.” Pressing his lips to the others cheek. “My wish is to help with this.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:45 pm
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“Thank you.” Just any small precaution, any advantage would help. Whatever he could do to help stack the deck for them to be safe. Though the idea of giving his cat a cell phone felt odd for a moment until he really thought about it. Her being a mauvian was still a new thing he was getting used to. “We can bring her to pick one out here this weekend, if all the little gadgets that have been popping up around the house have anything to say, I figure she will have no problems using one.” All his metronomes and tuners had been updated and upgraded since they’d found out about her being a mauvian.
“I know, I know but I still cannot bring myself to do that. Maybe over time, I will get there but I am still so tired, so very worn out after everything all these years. I kept running myself ragged, and even now I still try to. But you know that and have been trying to get me to stop and rest.” Sitting up a bit to look at the other, he held a hand to their cheek and rubbed their skin with his thumb.
“I think it works here, I need someone who can get through my stubbornness, through all the walls I made.” A peck on their cheek in return as he settled in more. “You are doing a great job, making that wish come true. I will do my best to make sure I stick around a good long while with you. For now, though, I want to just lay down for a bit. I think I pushed a little too hard and I feel run down again. You can swap back to the other piercing and if you ever want to show me things of your past let me know. I think they work over long distances as well so it might be good when out and about too.”
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:46 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:46 pm
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“That would be cute to see, a cat playing with a cellphone.” He could already imagine how many things she’d tinker with once she had one. It was cute how she did things to try and make his life a bit easier, even after all this time. He still preferred the simple things though, like when she curled up in bed by him. It was like old times and it helped when Liam wasn’t home.
Grabbing Liam’s wrist as they pushed him down, he frowned a bit. “You are not unwanted, maybe back then by your selfish family but not anymore. Not for a while now. Mel would agree with me on that, probably one of the few things we agree on if I am being honest.” Pulling them down to the bed he hugged them and settled in for a nap. “You can look later, time for rest and for you to stay close. No exceptions, I will not accept excuses.” Watching them, daring them to try pulling away, he pulled the blanket up and yawned a bit. “I will always be busy, I am a teacher for a lot of people both civilian and powered. I will try to manage things a bit better though so I can steal a bit more time to spend here with you. I think I would prefer that to be honest.” Leaning his head against their chest, the words started to soften as he closed his eyes to rest. It was easier to relax with them around. Hearing their heartbeat let him know that they were safe and right here with him.
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Posted: Thu Jan 04, 2024 4:46 pm
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“It will be, I think seeing her unwrap it and start tinkering on it in the car will be nice. I’m sure she won’t wait till we get home to start using it.” He had no doubt she would get to tinkering with it as soon as they left the store with the phone in her hands. The idea was sounding better and better as he thought about it. It also somehow felt domestic and like a family thing…oddly enough.
“I know, and I’m glad I’m not unwanted anymore. I have a lot of people who want me, and who I want in my life.” Laughing as he was pulled down to the others side, and held, he ruffled the others bangs. “Fine, but when we get up and I’m going over things. You need more time for you - you need to unwind and recharge more often. You are not a machine.” Rolling his blue eyes. He was glad that at least the siblings could agree that they liked him, he didn’t want Melody to dislike him even if she didn’t get on with her brother, he wanted to try and play middle person between the Sharp siblings.
He wasn’t getting up, he knew that, and he settled in to sleep as Aloysius had won this round. The others head on his chest proof of the victory. “I’ll fix everything…in time.” He whispered to the other, a promise to them both. He would rebuild the other and piece him together and make his life better. He really did want better for Aloysius and himself. Letting himself drift off to sleep, warm and comfortable, Liam felt himself drifting as he wrapped an arm about the other.
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