When Yukio had a lot on his mind, he processed it in the privacy of his own apartment, going out on the balcony to have a smoke. Even in the wintertime, like this evening. It was the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, and a light snow was falling around him as he lit up a clove cigarette and inhaled deeply. It was almost his birthday, too, and he idly wondered before getting to the meat of the matter if his parents had gotten anything for him. Probably not – this apartment, bought and paid for by them, was a huge enough gift to last several birthdays. Still, he should do something celebratory. Maybe he'd treat himself to dinner at the Korean cafe where Holland worked.

Holland. There was the meat of the matter, right there.

He was almost embarrassed to admit he was more than a little fond of the young man. Not just as a friend either, though that was definitely a factor in the mix. And he didn't know what to do with that feeling. That accidental kiss they'd shared after escaping from the frozen-shut storage closet behind the cafe was stuck in his mind. Sure, he'd playfully planted a big wet sloppy kiss on more than one fellow DJ at many an after-party, but he was usually quite inebriated at the time and thought nothing of it; and a good number of those DJs were female besides. But the kiss with Holland…

Yukio huffed out a cloud of smoke and steam. If you could even call it a kiss! Their lips had brushed against each other's when both men were struggling to get to their feet after landing in a very awkward position in the snow, that was all. But the contact was… kind of amazing. Not good technically, but warm and plush and tingly in a way he couldn't explain.

And therein lay the conundrum. Yukio liked girls, though he never seemed to have much luck with them. Abbey was the closest he'd come to a relationship in years, but she was so busy and absent from his life she may as well not have been there at all. And Holland.. Above all else, Yukio liked cute things, cute people especially. And there was absolutely no denying that Holland was about the cutest little thing he'd ever seen. The curly pink fringe, the wide teal eyes, that widely smiling mouth, those lips… Yukio felt his face flush red and he took another drag of his clove. Did this mean he liked boys instead? Or in addition to girls? He was so confused.

Stubbing out his cigarette, he went back inside the apartment and plopped down in front of his non-hacking computer, shoving his long legs under the kotatsu it sat atop of. Time for some research.

After several hours of typing and reading and learning and thinking, Yukio could only come to one conclusion: it was possible to like both boys and girls and there was nothing wrong with that. It just made him unique, made him capable of finding the attractiveness of both men and women appealing. Made it possible to like – really like – someone like Holland. (Hell, who was he kidding? Not "someone like" Holland, Holland specifically.)

Looking out at the snow falling, he smiled to himself. He was going to have to write a song now, wasn't he?

(wc: 570)