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Equivalent Exchange ( 18 ) - It seems as though this place has been forgotten by the world for a long time, and those laid to rest here were forgotten along with it. Some graves have been given small, strange little gifts, and some have flowers that are old and withered. There are many graves that have nothing. If you bring a gift down to the graves, you will be filled with a soft warmth, and it feels as though your worries are lifted. The sensation follows you home, and when you sleep that night, you have pleasant, safe dreams. When you awaken, you will find some sort of strange gift next to your bed–a dried flower, a string of beads, a small charm–something strange and dated. It is not often something of value, but there is a warmth in the object. It feels like a gift given with love.
Tonight, he would return to the graveyard. It had been years since he had come here, afraid to find his own headstone again. Things were better now, he had Liam, he sort of had his sister, and he had carved out his own path as a Sharp. Dressed as if he was going to one of his recitals, he carried his grandfather's viola with him alongside a few gifts to leave on the graves. He would pay his respects to the past, even if some of those he lost may not have names on their headstones that he would recognize.
Once he made it through the gate, he took a deep and calming breath before making his way toward the small section that was for the Sharp family. The headstone that had been there for him was nowhere to be seen, in its place was an unused plot that would be for him in the future. It was still a bit unsettling but not as much as it had been in the past. He took a moment to wipe the dried leaves and dirt from his grandfather's grave before moving to unpack and prep his instrument. It had been a tradition of his, to come here and play for his grandfather.
The sound of his music seemed too loud at first in this lonely graveyard but he continued as he played pieces that he had been taught by the man who laid beneath the grave in front of him. He hoped they could hear it as he played so they would know he kept up with things and didn't quit even when things got bad. How he wished they were still around as he pulled his bow across the strings of his viola, he stood tall though. He needed this though, to feel close to those times he so dearly missed.
As he reached the end of his song, he took a moment to kneel in front of the grave and speak with the dead. "I miss you.. so very much. I wish you could meet my partner, I know you would have approved of him." Unlike his parents, names and status were not what motivated his grandfather. Respect was earned and not given as a birthright. They would've seen how kind and loyal Liam was to him and the family. "I am sorry... for not coming back to see you these past years. A lot has happened and I wish I had the same strength you had, although I think I can begin to build myself up to it. Maybe one day at least..."
Placing down one of the roses from the garden, one that Alexandre had helped him figure out how to grow again, he smiled a bit between his tears. "I know they may be a bit different than yours but, I brought roses back to our old home. I know how much you cared for them." Sitting back up, he took a moment to just be there with them, even if he wasn't sure if they were really there. He had always hoped that they watched over him, even if some of the choices he made would have given his grandfather pause.
"Next time, I will bring Liam and Melody. I hope you rest well Nonno." Standing back up, he walked through the rows of graves and looked over them. So many of them had lost their names to time and he wondered if any of them were from those he had lost in the Negaverse. One of them, near the edge of the cemetery, looked even worse for wear compared to the others. It filled him with more sorrow as he looked at the barren headstone. Maybe it would be a bit odd but he felt he should do something about it, in honor of all those he had lost. Even if names had been lost to time, he felt that they all deserved to be remembered.
Kneeling down carefully, he dusted the grave and placed another rose. He thought of everyone he had lost, those he knew were dead, and those who had gone missing. As he paid his respects to the past, he felt... warm? As if someone had wrapped their arms around him to soothe his hurt. It felt reassuring as he stood once more with his case. That feeling remained with him as he walked home, helping ease the weight he had on his shoulders. Maybe the dead were trying to absolve him of the guilt that clung to him and it was time he let them.
Closing the door behind him as he entered his home, all was quiet. Liam and Mel were probably out working on something to try and reunite his partner's family. Putting things away and hanging up his coat and tie, he made his way upstairs to the room he shared with Liam. He was so very relaxed now from that warm feeling that he only half got under the comforter before falling asleep.
What met him in sleep was far different than what usually came. Gone were the pained faces of those he had lost, replaced by his grandfather standing there playing the same viola he had just played for them earlier. The sound of happy music and words of encouragement and how they were proud of him pushed everything that normally pained him away. He slept well, for the first time in a long time, and when he awoke from that dream he had longed for, there was a dried purple rose on the nightstand. Just the same as the original roses from the property that had been ripped up years back.
Touching it carefully, afraid it would turn to dust or that it wasn't real, he picked it up and held it close. It felt warm as if it had only just left the hand of whoever had placed it there. As he held it, he felt calm and more confident of how things would get better. After all, the one who had given him his name was still watching over him even after all these years.