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 Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2023 6:44 pm
For Dawn, the last few months of the year generally meant her mother was kept busy with party planning. With so many holidays crammed into a relatively short period of time, her mother was booked out well in advance. Football season kept Dawn busy with cheerleading, but in her minimal free time she liked to help at whatever event venue her mother was needed at on any given day. She had a lot of repeat clients, so Dawn got used to seeing some of the same faces.
“Does that look okay?” she asked, adjusting some black, gauzy material meant to drape along the wall.
Dawn had climbed up onto a ladder to help with the decorations. Ms. Starmount was throwing another Halloween party, which was probably just an excuse for her to flirt with a bunch of wealthy men and attempt to find herself a new husband, but she was one of Mom’s most loyal clients, so Dawn tried her best not to judge. Ms. Starmount’s son was decent company, at least. He was usually around during set up, either because his mother forced him to be — as if she did any of the work herself; Dawn hadn’t seen her since arriving after school — or because he was bored.
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2023 6:56 pm
“Looks fine to me,” Riker commented with his hands in his pockets as he awkwardly tried to stand in a way that didn’t make him seem like he was slouching, but also not trying too hard to look, well, cool. Somehow he doubted Dawn would ever think he was cool, but he was worried about other people coming in suddenly.
Not that they often did, but he always felt agitated when his mother was around.
As if she was often around. She was probably testing out the wine choices.
He shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the next, not really knowing what else to say, but while also wanting to say a lot. Of all the people he knew, he probably knew Dawn the best. So that meant she could probably keep his secret, right? Or… no, that was probably a bad idea. He shouldn’t tell anyone.
“So, uh… how’s cheer stuff? They promote you to captain yet?”
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Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2023 7:09 pm
Dawn gave the drapey fabric one last look, shrugged, and fastened it into place.
“I’m only a sophomore. One of the upperclassmen is captain,” she said with a smile, descending the ladder before hopping back onto the floor, blonde ponytail swaying with every move. “Cheer’s good, though. Busy. You should come to a game sometime. Meadowview’s not as fancy as Azure, but it’s nice. No one’ll give you a hard time.”
Dawn went to one of the boxes of decorations to rifle through what was left, looking over some of the plans her mother had drawn up to make sure they were setting things up correctly. There was a crew there, too, doing most of the work, but Dawn and Riker had a section of wall to themselves.
“You do cross country in the fall, right?” she asked. “Doesn’t Azure have a pretty good track team?”
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Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2023 6:15 pm
As Dawn made her way down the ladder, Riker was a bit more attentive, as though he was ready to step forward to intervene if she lost her footing, but once she was on the ground and commenting about no one giving him a hard time at Meadowview, he just shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and slouched a bit more and mumbled about how no one was giving him a hard time.
He didn’t have to put up a front around Dawn. She knew. Probably more than anyone. And yet, she still bothered to give him the time of day. She didn’t have to, but he appreciated it. Even if he didn’t really know how to say it.
Being Riker always felt awkward and different from being Reims. He didn’t have as much baggage to carry and could be himself easier.
Riker had too much baggage that he was slowly being crushed under the weight.
“Track is okay. Not good enough to get a cheer team. But yeah, I guess I can see a game.” Not for the game, of course. He would go to support Dawn. Not that she had to know that.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 8:06 am
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Dawn reassured him, taking his mumbling and slouching for uncertainty. She got the feeling Riker was made to do a lot of things he didn’t want; his mother wasn’t exactly winning any awards for her parenting. “Just if you want to get away from Azure for a while, hang out with some different people.”
Dawn wasn’t insistent, just friendly, accepting, making the offer without any expectations for Riker to follow through. She’d like it if he did, for his own sake if nothing else, but she wouldn’t be offended if he didn’t. Not everyone was comfortable hanging out at a different school, around a bunch of people they didn’t really know.
It might be good for him, though — the not knowing anyone. Riker put too much pressure on himself to impress all the wrong people.
“Is there anyone at Azure you actually like?” Dawn asked, as delicately as she could. “Like, as friends. Real friends, not the kind you hang out with because of who their families are. I guess that could be said about me, though, right?”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 8:23 am
“I have friends!” Riker sputtered, maybe a bit too quickly in response for how delicately she asked it. He could feel his ears burn and his whole body felt tense. Frustrated, he crossed his arms tightly over his chest and he tried to stand up a bit straighter as if that would exude the confidence he wanted to give off.
If only the color of his ears wasn’t bleeding into his cheeks.
“Yeah, whatever,” he grumbled without any idea what else to say. He had friends! He just… okay, no, he didn’t have friends. But she didn’t have to be so obvious about it! So he made a bunch of scoffing and irritated noises as if that would clearly express that she was definitely wrong. Even if she was right.
The people he did like… could never know who he actually was. They would never accept him if they knew he was just Riker. Even now, the Code saying how it could change someone’s identity was… appealing. But he knew it would only be for selfish reasons that he wanted to change his. And what good would that do? He’d be out on the street with nothing to his name.
“Think what you want. It doesn’t matter.” Even if he couldn’t help but feel hurt that she was so quick to give him a chance to say he didn’t want to go to a game. Even if she was trying to give him an option, it felt like she was telling him she didn’t actually want him there.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 12:23 pm
“I didn’t say you don’t have friends,” Dawn gently countered. “I just asked if you like the ones you have, or if there’s anyone else you could see yourself being friends with who you wouldn’t have to worry about impressing all the time.”
From the little Riker told her about himself, she’d figured out that most of the people he usually hung out with could probably be described as friends of convenience. Not that she couldn’t be described the same way, but Dawn thought she’d made it clear that he didn’t need to impress her. He just needed to be himself — something he couldn’t always do around others.
Dawn felt bad for him, but didn’t want him to know it. He might be offended by what he saw as pity. All she could do was encourage him down a better path, and hope he found other people to be there for him one day. Dawn could only do so much herself, especially when they didn’t see one another regularly.
Then again, there wasn’t anything stopping them from making it a more regular occurrence except themselves.
“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Dawn assured him, then tried to change the subject to something she hoped might be more comfortable for him. “Hey, were you planning on going to the fair at all? Some of the girls on the squad were talking about going together, but they’re all going to be bringing other people. Did you want to come? It could be fun!”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 6:00 pm
Riker clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth and shifted from one foot to the next. He was embarrassed, of course. There were plenty of people he wanted to impress, but there were reasons why more than just to get them to want to be his friend.
It was selfish, and he knew it. He mostly wanted to be on their good side so his life would be easier, but in exchange, he knew he made others’ lives harder.
It was pathetic. He was pathetic. And then there were people who were still nice to him despite it all. Dawn. Elliot.
Would the other knights he’d hung out with before even want to associate with him if they knew what he was like? He doubted it, and he didn’t blame them.
“The fair?” he blinked in surprise when she asked, but then felt his shoulders drop with disappointment. “Oh… I mean… I don’t really have any, um…”
He didn’t have any money. A little, but certainly not enough to go to the fair.
Maybe he could scrape up enough for a ticket and then just… say he thought rides and fair food were stupid. Or something.
“You don’t have any other friends you’d rather bring?”
She was a cheerleader. There was bound to be plenty of people who would be better to hang out with than him.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 6:14 pm
“I go out with my other friends all the time,” Dawn said.
Which was true. She was social by nature — not quite an extrovert, but she didn’t usually have trouble talking to people and she liked to be with her friends when she could. Social situations weren’t awkward for her, and tended to be draining only in very specific circumstances that she couldn’t even pinpoint until they happened.
Dawn had given up rifling through the box of decoration and turned to perched against the edge of the table, watching Riker with a natural smile.
“You don’t have to worry about paying,” she added as lightly as she could. “I’m inviting you, so it’s my treat. You can pay me back with coffee sometime or something. Or win me a prize at one of the games. Or just… you know… relax. And smile. Have fun. We don’t even have to hang out with the others from the squad the whole time if you need to chill out.”
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 6:20 pm
All Riker could do was stare at Dawn. He could feel his ears burning. He could feel his cheeks burning. He crossed his arms tighter over his chest and eventually had to look away from her because she had such a nice, pleasant smile that seemed too good to be wasted on someone like him.
He wasn’t even trying to feel sorry for himself. He knew he’d done some shitty things all for the sake of self preservation. He knew he hurt others, but at this point he wasn’t sure how to escape that.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked before he could stop himself. He immediately regretted it and shuffled his feet some and pulled apart his arms from over his chest so he could rub at his hair.
They weren’t even friends, were they? They didn’t hang out more than whenever his mom had Dawn’s mom do work for her.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 6:28 pm
“Because I want to,” Dawn said, like it was the most simple thing in the world.
Maybe she was privileged to be able to do what she wanted. Her mother didn’t breathe down her neck, or embarrass her, or want anything from her, or expect anything more than Dawn could give her. Dawn didn’t have a broken home life. She could go to school without worrying about what sort of gossip got back to her mother. She could be friends with whoever she wanted, and generally trusted that the ones she made had her best interests at heart.
“We’re allowed to be friends, aren’t we?” she asked.
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Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2023 6:33 pm
Were they allowed to be friends? Riker wanted to say it was more complicated than that, but Dawn had been so nice to him, and without wanting anything in return, well… it was strange. She didn’t make fun of him, at least not without reason. She talked to him like he was just another teenager… which he was, but he always felt like he had to keep his guard up.
Unless he was with her. Or as a knight.
Should he tell her about that…? Would she understand…? The ring on his hand felt heavy suddenly. It was just a blank ring now, but he knew once he powered up it would have the symbol of Ganymede on it.
He absently rubbed his thumb over the smooth band.
“I guess,” he finally shrugged. “I just hope you won’t regret it…”
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