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 Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 6:59 am
“If it’s still bothering you, I can try to use my magic on it, if you’d like? We could ask my dad to take us to his Wonder. That’s where they took me when I was really hurt,” Atticus spoke quietly to Julian as they sat on a bench in the park, not too far from a large fountain. They’d picked up ice cream as a treat, and Atticus was trying very hard not to let his strawberry cone melt all over his hand.
He wasn’t trying to pry! They still didn’t know how Julian hurt his wrist, just that he couldn’t play the violin. Atticus knew that if he couldn’t paint, he would be devastated. Then again, he didn’t think his hobby didn’t take as much time and dedication as Julian must have devoted to learning how to play.
On his other side he had Elliot, and he pressed his foot against Elliot’s since he couldn’t exactly hold his hand without getting ice cream everywhere.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 7:17 am
“Oh, I don’t know,” Julian said, in that way he did when he was trying to figure out if he wanted to accept an offer. He’d done it before when Elliot had suggested they get ice cream, and before that when they’d offered to get him lunch. He was used to people making offers to be polite, and he hated to see the disappointment in their face when he actually accepted.
So, he’d just gotten into the habit of declining.
“I don’t even know if surgery can fix it.”
It wasn’t like it was a necessary surgery, anyway. He didn’t think he had any sort of insurance that would cover it. “I don’t think it counts as being debilitating. I just can’t hold my violin properly.” Which also meant he couldn't play it. He’d gotten vanilla ice cream with some chocolate, hard shell drizzled on top of it and, because of his penchant to just listen instead of speak, he was already nibbling on the cone to get to more ice cream.
“Does your magic work like that?” he asked. “Can it heal old injuries?”
He had a scar on his wrist, though he’d been hesitant to show it. He’d told them how he’d fallen down the stairs and landed funny.
“I don’t have magic yet, and I’ve only seen a little bit. I was watching some videos online to try and figure out different techniques? But I don’t think I’m doing them right because it hasn’t helped.”
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 9:05 am
“I think it could be worth trying?” Atticus gently suggested. He didn’t know if his magic could heal old injuries, just as he didn’t know if Sessrumnir’s waters could heal old injuries either.
But he also didn’t know magic existed until about a year ago.
He didn’t know that there were people he would actually want as his family until a year ago. Just as he didn’t know people could live for a thousand years. Although he supposed magic had something to do with that, too.
He hadn’t pushed the issue when Julian had told them he fell down the stairs. Atticus had fallen down the stairs a number of times as well, so he could only hope that was what it really was.
However, making sure that Julian was safe was the priority. Even if it made things uncomfortable. Atticus just didn’t want to push him away by spooking him with personal questions.
“You’ll get magic, too. It just takes some time,” he insisted, and glanced up at Elliot to see if he would corroborate with him. “I think it’s really cool that you can play. Maybe I can start saving up money to help pay for a surgery? If it would fix things, I mean.”
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 9:44 am
“We could do a fundraiser,” Elliot mused, taking a whole bite out of his ice cream and letting it melt in his mouth.“If you wanted. We could go door to door selling my dad’s cupcakes. We should start at Mumsy’s.”
He nudged Atticus’ foot to express how pleased he was with this suggestion. And, his ice cream. This was a good idea.
Even Julian seemed to be enjoying himself, but this ice cream was delicious enough to put anyone in a good mood.
“Oh, I–that’s so much work,” Julian protested; he didn’t want them to have to put all that work into it!
“If–I mean, we could try the magic. If that’s not too much work. I don’t want to get my hopes up. But I miss playing. A lot.” He still seemed a bit guilty, but…
They were his friends. And they were good people.
…And he missed playing, and if all he could do was talk about it, that was going to have to be enough for him.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 12:47 pm
“Mumsy would buy all of them,” Atticus laughed, but made sure to cover his mouth so it wasn’t super gross for him to have a mouth full of ice cream while trying to talk. “Or she would organize a huge bake sale with your dad, and get everyone in the city involved.”
He wouldn’t be surprised if they just paid for Julian’s surgery, either. But they seemed to be a little more cautious about throwing around money at everyone. Probably because they knew how easy it would be to be taken advantage of. Although did people really need as much money as his family had?
That wasn’t for him to decide, and they did good things. It was just weird knowing he didn’t have to dig through dumpsters for food any more.
“I want you to be able to play again. I bet you’re super inspiring. I would love to listen to you and then paint. Oh, is that weird? I like listening to music and then painting how I feel sometimes,” he explained, and then took another lick of his ice cream before it dripped down the cone.
“We can definitely try all of our magic. I bet there are even more powerful healers than what I can do out there. I bet my dads would know.”
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2023 1:04 pm
Elliot almost laughed and said something, but his mouth was full from a too-big bite of ice cream, and he had to raise a hand to make sure he didn’t make a mess. He nodded enthusiastically, for Julian’s sake. He wouldn’t mind listening to music while watching Atticus paint.
Though it was still so much for Julian to consider, he couldn’t help but smile at the two. “I’ve heard a little bit about healing magic, but not a lot,” Julian admitted. He wanted to know more, wanted to have hope.
If magic could do as much as he’d seen, could it heal his wrist?
Absentmindedly, he rolled it a little. It clicked. It hurt. He had some ice cream to make up for it.
“I’m a little glad I’ve never had to see someone use their healing magic on something serious.” Or, really, he was just worried about what he’d see them using it on. He was squeamish, this whole ‘being a knight’ thing was hard on him–and he’d only been doing it for a fraction of the time the other two had been. He didn’t even know what type of magic he might have, or if it would be anything he could use on himself to try and help. “I don’t think my music is that inspiring. I’m pretty average. I don’t compose or anything, I’m not creative enough to make new music. I can just sort of play what people put on the page for me.”
He wasn’t even that great of a player before he’d hurt his wrist. It wasn’t self-deprecating! He was just surrounded by people who were actually talented, and he hadn’t been practicing much at all since his injury.
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2023 5:28 am
“I don’t think it matters if you compose your own music. It’s what you feel when you play,” Atticus insisted between turning his cone around to lick the sides of the melting ice cream. “As long as you’re enjoying yourself when you play. So if it’s something you enjoy, I want to experience that. Please. If that’s okay. Once your wrist is better.”
He shivered a little at the thought of having to heal a serious injury, but hopefully it just looked like he was shivering from the cold of the ice cream. He knew there had to be something they could all do. Or at least figure out a plan.
“Maybe we could listen to some music to get inspired to figure out a way to heal your wrist,” he suggested, but it probably sounded a little silly so he tried to explain.
“I mean, like… music that you would like to play. Do you have anything recorded of what you’ve played before?” he asked, tilting his head curiously.
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2023 8:16 am
Julian considered Atticus’ words, perhaps with some hesitation. It wasn’t that they were incorrect, just that he had spent so much time trying to distance himself from the idea of being able to play again. He didn’t know if it was possible and was afraid to set himself up for disappointment, but listening to Atticus made him dream of playing again.
“I don’t think so. Maybe there’s video somewhere online, but I don’t have any, myself. Everyone was really busy so didn’t have a chance to come to any of my recitals.” He was quick to explain their absence and quick to move on from the topic; Atticus was more sensitive than Elliot and he didn’t want to hurt his feelings or make him worry.
“I don’t go on the internet a whole lot though, but I’m sure the school has some videos on their social media. I didn’t always go to Hillsworth,” he explained, because his current school didn’t really seem friendly.
“I can get you a list of some of the music I liked to play, though. If you want to look it up some time. And about the songs I wanted to play.” Julian kicked his feet a bit as he ate his ice cream, and was glad when Elliot spoke up so he could try to finish it before it melted.
“My dad might be able to help. He plays music, I can see if he has any tips or anything. About your wrist. He played guitar though, so I know it’s different. But he hurt his wrist in a car accident and couldn’t play for a while. Well I mean, I don’t actually know how bad it was, I was pretty young. I just remember drawing on his cast. But he still plays. He was in a band before I was born.” Elliot was obviously proud of this. He didn’t offer to share his music now, like he usually would, but only because they were trying to think about ways to help Julian. He could brag about his father later. Ideally, after Julian could play, too.
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2023 10:36 am
“Thank you. I’d really like to listen to the music you like. That way we can talk about it and share other things we both like,” he suggested, and then gasped as some of his ice cream managed to get all over his fingers.
“Oops. It’s really hot today,” he laughed as he made a face and tried to awkwardly lick the ice cream off his hand, but it ended up on his cheek and his hair fell into it a little while he was trying to get cleaned up.
“Elliot’s dads are really nice though. They helped me figure things out about myself. I mean…” he paused so he could glance up fondly at Elliot, before turning to give Julian a little smile in the hopes that he wouldn’t feel so out of sorts.
“I wasn’t always ‘Atticus’... I mean, it’s not the same,” he quickly added, feeling his cheeks flush a little because his comparison really didn’t make the most sense once he said it out loud. “Just… um… I know what it’s like to be something or somewhere that you don’t belong.”
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Posted: Tue Aug 15, 2023 11:02 am
Elliot laughed, fond and good natured; he’d gotten extra napkins just in case, and was quick to pass one over to Atticus so he could clean up. Although, he took it upon himself to gently wipe at his hair before it could smear anywhere. He nodded in agreement but didn’t interrupt, especially because Julian seemed like he was processing this information.
Julian’s ice cream was melting, but he’d eaten enough of it that he didn’t have to worry about it dripping. He watched Atticus while he spoke, eager to give him his undivided attention.
There were plenty of things that he didn’t understand, but he accepted this, and was learning as he went. Magic was still new to him, and he knew he’d only just scraped the surface of understanding it.
He knew bits and pieces of Atticus’ life, but he felt like he still had so much of that to put together, too. He didn’t pry.
He did look forward to getting to know Atticus and Elliot better. He liked the idea of being able to talk about things–unimportant things. Things they liked, or had in common. He was mostly private, out of shyness and worry, but it was easy to relax a bit around the two of them.
“You both say such nice things about them. They sound like good people.” It was refreshing, in a way he didn’t really know how to describe. He just wasn’t used to hearing people say such good things about their families and seem so earnest about all of it. His stomach still churned at the thought of meeting them.
Julian’s lips pressed together in a small smile and he looked into his melting ice cream for a moment before he looked up at Atticus again. “I’m glad they were able to help you. That you figured out things about yourself. Was it hard to become ‘Atticus’?”
There was more that he wanted to ask about it, but even that seemed invasive. He left his question at that and hoped it wasn’t too personal. He looked away, though. Just in case Atticus needed an easy out not to answer.
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2023 6:44 am
Atticus giggled a bit sheepishly when Elliot had to assist with cleaning him up, but he looked at him with such adoration that it was impossible to believe that he wasn’t head over heels for him. It was a little embarrassing to make a mess, but he didn’t feel like Julian was judging him or going to make fun of him, so that was nice.
Once they’d managed some damage control with his melting ice cream, Atticus leaned a bit closer to Elliot so he could rest against his shoulder. It made it easier to turn and look at Julian anyway.
“I think…” he started, but then paused so he could really think about it. He also took a moment to glance up at Elliot as if wanting to make sure it was okay to say anything to Julian.
He smiled softly, a bit bittersweet, when he looked back at their quiet friend. “I think I was always ‘Atticus’, but for most of my life I was made to believe I wasn’t. I don’t know if I’d recognize myself if I saw who I was over a year ago. I wasn’t really living. Just surviving. I don’t think I was doing a very good job of that, either,” he admitted.
“So… I know what it’s like, being where you don’t belong,” he reiterated, hoping it made sense that he felt as though he could empathize a little, without making it seem like he was dismissing Julian’s troubles or concerns.
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2023 9:21 am
Elliot instinctively wrapped an arm around Atticus to hold him close. He was careful to keep his ice cream away; he didn’t want to drip any on his nice clothes. He smiled, to encourage Atticus. He could say whatever he wanted, good or bad. Things weren’t always perfect, then or now, but the important thing was that they stuck together to support each other.
He trusted Atticus, and he trusted Julian.
It seemed like Julian understood. He thought about this for a while, and then nodded. He held his ice cream but didn’t touch it, otherwise.
“The first part sounds really difficult. I’m sorry that you had to deal with that.” He didn’t know everything that had happened, but every now and then he saw something in Atticus that he thought he recognized. “I’m glad you get to be Atticus, though. And that you found your place. I like you a lot. Well, both of you. I don’t have a lot of friends at school.”
He hesitated for a moment, because he didn’t really want to talk about himself when he thought it was easier to listen to Atticus. But, he’d said that again–that he knew what it was like not to belong.
Maybe he could tell that Julian felt out of place.
He felt out of place as a Page; he didn’t know what he was doing, and it felt like everyone else was already so much better than he was. But, he was trying. He didn’t feel like he belonged at Hillworth; it was so rigid and structured and the people there treated him like he wanted to cause problems. He didn’t. He didn’t belong in foster care, but he didn’t talk about that much.
“I wish I went to school with you two. But I’m really glad we got to hang out today. I hope we can do things like this more often. As long as I’m not a third wheel!”
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2023 6:01 pm
He could feel his heart ache. Even with Elliot’s arm around him, Atticus felt as though there must be something more they could do to help Julian feel welcome around them. He hoped that his obvious affection for Elliot wasn’t offputting. He didn’t think he could easily distance himself from his boyfriend, but would do his best if Julian felt like they were too clingy.
Oh no, he hoped he wasn’t too clingy. He was just comfortable with Elliot!
“I wish you went to school with us, too. We should definitely hang out whenever we can, though. I know our dads won’t mind,” he insisted. They would probably feel more comfortable with Julian staying close to them anyway. He was safer with them, anyway.
“But if you ever feel like a third wheel, you should let us know,” he insisted. They could always have their other friends hang out with them, too. But he also liked being able to have some time with just Julian. He talked more when he wasn’t around so many people.
“I was really lucky,” he admitted after a moment, because he knew that he wouldn’t be there if he didn’t have the people he had in his life. “Elliot saved me. My dads, too. They were there when I needed them the most. I just hope you know we’ll be there if you need us, too, Julian.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2023 7:52 pm
Julian never seemed to be too fussy about their displays of affection–on the contrary, he thought it was sweet! Sometimes he didn’t quite know how he should be responding,but that wasn’t on them, that was just him. They were his friends and they were happy, that was all that mattered.
Elliot liked all the attention too much to ever think that Atticus was clingy, and he rubbed his shoulder as he held him close.
He liked listening to Atticus talk. He liked how he was more honest now. Careful about what he said, just like always, but he seemed more able to say it. He squeezed him a little closer, and then kissed his cheek. He didn’t want to interrupt him, but he wanted Atticus to know how much he loved him, and that he supported him, and that he was so proud of him.
Julian looked at the two of them and didn’t feel like a third wheel. He felt like he was with two friends who cared a lot about each other, and who cared about him, too. Just, differently! Obviously!
“I appreciate that. I’m trying to stay out of trouble so I hope I won’t need too much. I know I can’t do much right now, but if either of you ever need anything…”
He shrugged, because he knew there was so little he could actually offer that they probably didn’t already have under control, but he smiled softly anyway. “I’ll help, too. I hope one day I can get the full story. If it’s not prying too much. I just.” He hesitated, and then smiled again. “I guess I like stories that I know have a happy ending.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2023 5:25 am
Atticus smiled at Julian, and would have reached out to take hold of his hand or… something… if his hands weren’t covered in a sticky mess of ice cream. It wasn’t so bad that he needed to jump up and wash his hands, but he knew he would have to clean them before touching anything else.
“It’s not prying too much,” he promised. “I… don’t know if I’ll be able to say everything, any time soon. But I trust you and once I’m more comfortable reliving things… yeah, I can share,” he nodded, even if he felt anxious about the idea of telling anyone his whole story. Even Elliot didn’t know everything, mostly due to shame and embarrassment, but he was grateful to all of his friends.
“You can do a lot,” he then insisted, knowing that Julian felt like he couldn’t. “You’re a really good listener. And you don’t make me feel silly for making a mess. You’re a good friend, and that means a lot. I’m not used to having a lot of friends. Not before, well… I became Atticus. I would like to learn more about you, too. When you’re ready.”
He tilted his head back onto Elliot’s shoulder to grin up at him, but then quickly had to lift his head up as he gasped as another drip of ice cream got onto his hands. “Oh nooo.” But he was laughing about it and quickly licked as much as he could off his hands, then took a huge bite of what was left of the ice cream so it would stop melting.
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