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“Yanno, when you were debriefing me on this — I think you missed a few key points —“ Albite groused tiredly as he slipped into Faustites office, tension lining his face and frame. He itched to check his phone, the same one he’d sent the S.O.S out to Faustite on, letting him know exactly when he’d be by and for what reasons (however little sense it made with his garbled shorthand full of incomprehensible emojis). It helped his nerves that he knew Aelius was sleeping, that he’d checked and double checked and triple checked the man was duly out for the count and down, before getting up to slip out and – just for a little while – steal some much needed comfort of his own.

He couldn’t do this alone, dealing with Aelius—with Faustite it’d been so ******** different. Maybe it was the lack of knowledge that made it easy? He’d never needed to know Elex, that wasn’t a person that’d existed for him in any context until so much further down the line–

The person he loved, the being he loved? Eion, Agni, Faustite draped in all his blackened, fiery wrappings; that was who Waru wanted to know, and anything that existed in his boys past didn’t mean nearly as much as what Waru wanted to see exist as his present, in his future. Faustites trauma had always seemed something of the body, a glaring visual that he could aim to lett like old blood from a poorly healed wound. Something he could solve with *his* body, a fight, a ********— even just the chance to hint at it.

Aelius did not work that way.

Aelius went on about a past he had no context for, no vision into, he didn’t even know how much to take of the man's words with or without salt! It frustrated him to no end, left him snapping at air and staring at walls wanting for answers.

“Like—-like—-I knew he was hurt, Ei. I just didn’t know it was like this — n holy ******** does he fight dirty! Like a force of ******** nature dirty. Did he learn that from you? From Trey?!” his words useless spillage, he wept frustration like a heatwave, contemplated going back to the door he’d come through just so he could slam it shut in something like a satisfying way instead of creeping around on eggshells, he paced a short leashed line as if he couldn’t decide between two points—

As if he couldn’t make any good decisions at all.

It was likely that wasn’t true, his thoughts on Aelius, his thoughts on himself. Entirely possible that maybe Aelius’s vicious determination to commit so thoroughly to sabotaging all he held dear stemmed from somewhere far deeper n more traumatic what could’ve been taken on via some weird familial osmosis—

Like some primal instinct rearing up all hydra-like, breathing fire, salting the earth. Why was it that everyone he loved had a temper? Oh, right, hot people were hot, but this?

There was nothing sexy about any of this…

Not that it mattered terribly much if his c**k was in it or not. It was about Aelius, for Aelius; his friend, his husbands lover, Treys brother. A man who had people who cared for him more than enough to make it worth Warus while.

And wasn’t that a b***h? Knowing it was worth it, because for all that Waru had been more than willing to grab hold of the challenge labeled Helio? He realized now that he had that hold, he had to keep it; white knuckled, bronco style, having the bull by the horns. He had to match the initial intensity he’d started with, even long after his hands had gone numb, because the second he let his grip slip he was gonna get the business end of so much ire. He’d earned it, he knew he had. He believed in his soul that it’d be just n fair for Aelius to take a chunk outta him in the process of fleeing from *himself*—

Knowing a thing didn’t make the doing of it any easier, any less exhausting, any less frustrating….

No one said running a team would be easy, though, did they? But unlike the rest of his found family? Here, with Aelius, he felt like he had a chance to right something, to make amends and be a remedy. They could for once be proactive instead of reactive!!

'Now if only I could figure out how!!'

“Some ******** instinct — you remember when you asked us all to bring in a bounty of starseeds for that secret project with Tama? N the way Trey looked all surprised for Aelius’s haul…I didn’t pay nearly enough attention then…” and he was panting at phantoms, ******** beat n weathered n the shadows under his eyes rivaled that of a raccoons—

For all that he wanted to fix s**t, he also just wanted to be held by something warm n still for five whole minutes. Wanted someone he could hug. He wanted Faustite freely, without feeling guilty for it, and when the ******** had that become a thing he felt?! And how long would he tolerate that feeling in himself!?!

The answer, was not ******** long at all—

If Aelius was aiming for a different reaction than patient understanding? Then Waru knew that was a sure fire way for the boy to get it from him. Couldn’t let Aelius know that though, that was the trick. Shirking his own need to throw low blows in the face of such daunting summits of self-hatred. If Aelius wanted to wallow in all he thought he couldn’t have, in what he perceived as stolen goods, wholly undeserved? That was fine, but Waru would only take so much more of feeling blamed for it before he felt the need to hear something new from the man.

“He’s so different from you and the others. S’gonna take time,” and there was a spark of something — new thoughts that tilted him towards Faustite, seeking eagerly the open invite, a grant of seating, a chance to have what he needed by basking in his boys flames till his skin prickled, perfectly overheated in every way. “Think the fleeing is ******** genetic though, cause Fafnir does it too! Piss him off enough n he blows up n then gets evasive in the aftermath of that…so some of it’s learned…makes me wonder what their parents were like.”

Waru’s expression was bursting with gratitude for the easy offer, because he needed something easy just then, and leapt at the chance to sit and mull things over aloud; to talk about them the way he always did. To talk through them with Faustite the way they always had—those safe and same familiar paths, tread and retread with trust, so he knew there were no pitfalls.

“Mmmhmm, made it clear to me too. S’fair—I’d protect my moms image, too. Would keep her outta lines of fire…” the words hissed sorely as he sank into the nearest surface that’d hold him, scrubbed his blunt nails through his dreads—hated the dryness at the roots and the itch of weight that needed taming. His hair needed Aramis’s tender mercies — a nice thorough wash, n oil, n maybe he’d go with box braids instead of butterfly’s this time? Would get a bead color Faustite liked woven into the ends…

“I think—I think I need to convince him it’s not about sex? With me. I Need to do that first, N’then…..n’then I need to convince him that….I don’t even know….it’s like pulling up an anchor, right? Normally I’d say the chains tethered to you— caught on you—deep down there. Except the more I pull the more I realize it’s not that, or maybe not just that? There’s so much more and there’s no light down there and be would rather it all stay in the dark than come up…” His frustration boiled up in time with water, the words steamed from his mouth with a similar hiss, because for a brief and terrible moment Waru wanted to close his eyes and stay where he was forever. To just let this become someone else’s problem—-

Except he loved Helio, didn’t he? Loved him and Faustite. Needed them whole. He’d gone and pushed the boulder off the cliff and now— “I can’t pin anything on you, Ei. Can’t say if any of it’s to do with you or not. Not when I don’t even know what makes him - him - where Aelius exists with himself in all of this.”

Schorl — a’course it was Schorl, the 100% that b***h in the body of a silvery, sociopath on stilts! Albite groaned derisively at hearing her name. Of course he’d mentioned her once or twice to Aelius, but mentioning a name wasn’t the same as asking direct questions. Pointed questions. He was quickly learning that being vague got him flipped the ******** off and ignored. He nearly growled for the sourness of those thoughts, gave Faustite his full weight and more by pushing back into the solid body that housed so much fire. <******** did he like the feel of it; the intricate metal grate and flames beyond it being raw, open, bare or any covering. He wanted the imprint of Faustites center on his skin, to have the marks linger like sleep lines when he left— His husband was so strong. Strong enough that Waru didn’t feel like he was taking advantage now, not when the comforting hold was so freely returned.

“S’not too much though—“ there was a smile down there somewhere, some tired little thing that enjoyed karmic comeuppance and divine retribution. “Cause I know how much I ******** pushed on you to do everything you’ve done. To take what was yours n have these people be in your life? S’alls fair in love — there’s probably something to be said about Senshi being war-faring beings! M’into it…” just about as into it as he was into slowly relaxing into Faustites embrace, feeling the tension in his body melt away one small degree at a time.

The scent of tea soothing to his soul as the touch of heat was to his form, familiar things he could just as easily want for as he could have.

“Just — maybe I need to be more into it then I have been? Yanno that— the memory trinket thing? Y’mind if I borrow it for our— ******** — heh, our Corentin?” Had he even said that right? It felt almost right! If his mother knew how poorly his ability to language was now — she’d have beat him with a spoon. He’d have deserved it. Could probably practice the word with Yuuri – with Aramis too.

He wouldn’t fail his boy, his beloved, his husband! Not in this. Waru thought he maybe still had enough b*****d in him to manage Aelius — why be blessed with a thick skin n thicker skull if not to take a few extra hits? He was sure whatever scars Helio left on his hide would be just as otherworldly n pretty as Faustite’s had turned out to be.

“Thank you Eion,” awestruck as always by his boys delicate gestures, eager to take the bit of magical flash and tuck it into subspace quickly so he wouldn’t be distracted by it. “For everything—m’not too worried bout falling though. I mean, how could I be? Knowing you’re gonna be there to catch me at the bottom every damn time,” the words uttered with hushed sincerity, a newfound relief in his voice. There was low hanging fruit available, jokes he could’ve made about being surprised there were any layers in hell left to fall through! He was too tired even for that, loathe to disturb their hard won peace with something so silly.

“Maybe I’ll try it on you, just the one more time t’get the feel of it again? Innaminute, though! ******** missed you like ******** it’s insane how solid you are now. S’good—“ and it was so, so, so very good! Albite unleashed a better growl, squirming happily until he could nuzzle himself right up into Ei’s clutch of draped limbs and feel caged, kept, owned within the field of his boy's expansive aura. Things he’d never thought he’d want, things he’d balked at so early on — like it was the most desirous thing to be some flea bitten, collarless stray! And look at him now? Married twice over. The husband of a King. An Eternal Senshi —- if he ever met himself again in the next life? He’d want to show himself this exact memory — right here n now.

Just this.

"A memory—“ and Waru hoped to divine like a seasoned water witch a good memory to source from, to find some bit of happiness buried in his boy's brain that would buoy him for all the hard times he sensed ahead. He’d glimpsed an image of Rowan and Elex once in a silver framed watch face, saw two people meant to be, even if he hadn’t known then how vastly different those two different lifetimes were — there might as well have been a thousand years between the before and after where they were concerned. He knew the difference now though, and he knew, even after everything had fallen apart that there must have been some good there that had lingered!

Aelius did not come back for Elex, he came back for Faustite, found Elex in him. Was loving him before and after and again by Christmas, was Marrying him by late spring—And it was even more funny to imagine all of Faustites proposals, quiet spring themed ones, fire and flower petals, bright Easter designs. Terribly macabre the way Aqua had always wanted it for all of them.

“—and that tea smells ********’ delicious…” the sight of light purple made him smile for the coincidence — Aelius hair was a tad more indigo, but still? The awareness stalled him from giving into his typical urge to dump all manner of other into the cup and drown the tea in sweetness. He wanted this one as it was, clean, unburdened, hot enough to burn if his mouth had ever cared for being burnt. He would take the pain of heat and then savor the delicate flavor of the brew after.

“Mmm, and also—I already know I’m gonna need chances to be alone where it’s just you n me. If that means training in the Rift? Oh, n’there’s all that Earth kingdom s**t I’ve been meaning to make you walk me through!” a fresh train of excitement, Waru had plans, wanted the team involved, wanted to branch Aelius' supporters out once he was strong enough to bear using them as just that—and in asking for Faustite Waru wanted to ensure himself supported too. If not much else, he liked to think he could sometimes be self aware — could sense his own limits approaching — gauge when to put up and when to pull out….

At least some of the time…

With Faustite was always hardest, with Aelius? He’d learn where the line lay, knew the man would tell him when he’d crossed it, game of operation style. The same way Faustite did with claw and fire.

“It’ll be so cool—” the words huffed hotly between heated sips, the tea made him think of the kind of meadows wild fruit grew in, the kind he would’ve liked to eat. The warmth suffused skin deep, deeper still, both what he swallowed out the cup and where he pressed against Faustite, until he felt something like calm and human and right in his skin once more.

He could do this.

They could do this.

Everything would work out, they had plans! They just needed some time.