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 Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2023 3:57 pm
Of course Cybele still hunted, still patrolled, and of course she did so as an Eternal senshi. Of course Cybele sought out the Dark Mirror aura.
It wasn't like the fact that she had more power now instantly turned her into some type of diplomat, but if people thought it meant something, if people thought it made her into some sort of leader, or the very least someone to turn their eyes to, then that meant something, and it meant something about her relationship with other factions.
She hated and opposed the Negaverse, which she was fairly sure was clear to everyone involved. On the other hand, she deeply respected the Dark Mirror Court in a way that she didn't even fully understand, but in a way that she wanted to make clear to them.
That was, until she turned a corner and found out just who it was who she was approaching, who happened to be a tall man in a black dress. Right. She wanted to make her deep respect clear to most of them.
"He lived, you know," she told him, her tone polite and face even although she wasted no time in getting to the point. "And now he's a General-King with the stated goal of turning every human on this planet into a youma."
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Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2023 4:39 pm
All Order auras were a total crapshoot, and they would be until Reiki managed to scour the Chaotic coating from his starseed. Stop being psychically smothered. Stop getting treated like some abomination whose very existence made him guilty because he tried to help people. Stop trying to change himself for a boy he had no chance with in the first place (the fact that he had thought similar things about Faustite and been proven wrong didn’t enter into his assessment of his chances with Levi—why should it have? Levi and Faustite were different people, obviously).
But as the approach of an Order Eternal’s aura so kindly reminded him, Reiki hadn’t scoured the Chaos from his starseed yet. Hadn’t faced Mirrorspace and demanded its magical leash so he could take it to Ida and get her to destroy it. Strictly speaking, whoever was coming had no reason to attack him, at least not based on the current situation. Yes, Reiki lurked in an alley, watching a pair of civilians as one walked the other home from a date, then danced around the matter of a goodnight kiss. But both of Reiki’s mirrorshards remained in his subspace, exactly where he’d dumped them months ago, maybe broken for all he knew because he paid no attention to them whatsoever.
He objectively was not doing anything wrong by making sure Michel got home okay. Trying to breathe deeply steadied Reiki’s nerves somewhat—until that specific voice shattered any illusions of calm. As he rolled his eyes and fixed her with a pointedly unimpressed expression, he could practically feel all his incentive to behave flying out the window.
“Don’t know what you’re so upset about, Your Worship,” he told Cybele, his tone distinctly neither kind nor polite, but also not exactly hostile. He’d used a similar tone on Faustite before, when Faustite had first stormed into his life and acted like he had the exclusive rights to linger at Kerberos’s bench. Reiki liked to hope it made him sound like someone who had neither the time nor the patience to let Princess ‘Now Starring As Hermia in a Community Theatre Production of A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream’ bully him.
“Based on his current track record—” Reiki gestured at Cybele herself, “—he doesn’t seem like he’s very good at making youma out of anybody.” He paused, considered whether or not he wanted to point out the obvious point that she wanted to elide—and then decided that yes. Yes, he did: “You’re welcome, by the way, since making you stop trying to savage him is probably a big reason why you were even alive to pop your pretty, pretty princess wings.”
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Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2023 5:25 pm
Cybele blinked twice, and when she spoke, her voice came out softer, without the slight air of performance that came behind so many of her actions. "Don't," she whispered, shaking her head. "I don't expect anyone to worship the ground I walk on." He was being facetious, likely even meaning it as an insult, but even still, something about it rubbed Cybele the wrong way. If people decided to see her as some kind of leader now, she'd do her best, but even if that happened, there were lines that she was going to have to be careful not to cross. She took half a breath as she tried to decide where to go with this, with what to say. She wasn't necessarily good at this, good at diplomacy and compromises, but she really didn't want to fight right now, or make things worse. Context, perhaps. That seemed to be what he was missing. "You know, when I was corrupted, and it was bad, and I was pulling all the starseeds I could find, someone from your Court stopped me. He talked me down. He made me think. I respect him deeply for that, especially now that I'm here, now that I'm free." There might have been something deeper there, but she didn't have the memories to know exactly what it was. "We're friends now, and I promised him that I would be a friend to your Court, as well. That's why I had enough respect for you to listen to you, that night. It's because he told me that what I was doing was wrong." This one had some sense of morals, too. She could respect that, in a way. It probably hadn't looked good to see her beating Faustite to deal when he wasn't in much of a state to defend himself. She'd been winning. She would have lived with some scars to show for it, but she didn't think it would be all that useful to argue that particular point. "And I understand why you stopped me, too, but by the same token, you shouldn't brush off what Faustite tried to do to me just because it didn't work. He'll do it to others." Her face turned a bit grim. "Most of them won't have some magic that comes and saves them." She thought about Faustite's good traits, about the leadership that she'd used to admire in him, about the way his story was so similar to her own. Once more, she shook her head. "He's not worth defending. Trust me. I used to try."
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Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2023 7:26 pm
That initial response, Reiki met with a bepuzzled frown and a tilt of his head. “Uh……okay? Sorry, I—I didn’t actually mean to imply any expectation of literal worship? It’s just……” Folding one arm over his chest, he dismissively waved the other hand. “Look, my Dad and I watched Star Wars together when I was a kid, okay? He’d put my hair up in Leia buns for me and everything. And Han Solo always calls Leia ‘Your Worship’ when he’s being an argumentative brat with her.”
Reiki hoped he didn’t need to explain why “argumentative brat” felt like kinda The Vibe for him.
Not least because……well, going off on all that explanation wouldn’t have given back the same energy of Making An Effort that Cybele was choosing to give him. And if he didn’t give back that same good faith Making An Effort energy, then he was going to shame and disappoint his family, most especially Mom and Obaasan, who had unquestionably raised him better than that. Reiki’s entire family had raised him better than that, true, but……Mom and Obaasan were special.
He sighed, combing his fingertips through his hair. “I see what you’re trying to do right now,” he told her, tone falling far closer to politeness than it had before, when he’d thought that this was gonna be his Standing Up For Himself Era, rather than his Being Earnest With Someone He’d Apparently Misidentified As A Feral Murder Gremlin Era. More than anything else, though, the dominant feeling in Reiki’s tone was Tired.
“Not intending to knock what you’re trying to do, because reaching out to a Mirror skank by talking about how you have a friend in the Court? Generally a sound tactic, and I actually know someone who needs to hear this more than I do so she can stop picking stupid fights and getting herself hurt.
“You just……sort of picked the wrong Mirror skank for it.” With a soft huff, he turned to face her more fully and slouched back against the wall. “Hearing more of your mysterious princess backstory is fascinating, don’t get me wrong? Never would’ve guessed you were ever with the Negaverse, for instance. And for the record, I might sass-mouth and say whatever, but I don’t actually dismiss the importance of what Faustite tried to do to you.”
Partly for reasons that involved Greg and hoping, no matter how much Reiki knew that he shouldn’t, that Faustite would actually youmafy the son of a b***h. Mostly, though—“Delightful nightmares on and off since that night,” Reiki said, “and more so since I found someone who could clue me in about how to actually make the thing I most want happen. All specifically about him doing that to me.
“About believing in his ability to be better, even if it’s for selfish reasons, then finding his hand in my chest like ‘Is this really what you want? The person you know, the person who knows what you do to people on a not-irregular basis and still feels how he does about you? You’d rather smash him into pieces just so you can have a broken doll that has his face and his body and his hair but who won’t ever be the same again, because you broke him’……and getting his ‘Yes’ answer when he crams so much pure, unleaded Chaos into my starseed.”
Reiki hugged himself and scuffed one of his pumps on the concrete as he crossed that leg over the other one. “Which is why……” He shrugged. “I’m sorry for accusing you of being feral and down to just murder everybody who’s Chaos. But your friendship to the Court will probably matter more to somebody who plans to stick around.”
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Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2023 12:41 pm
Star Wars, Cybele knew. She wasn't a die hard fan, wasn't able to pick out quotes at the drop of a hat, but she'd been told they were classics, and so she'd watched through the series once since she'd purified. She'd even sat through the newer, less popular ones, and without the emotional attachment to the older ones, hadn't minded them. So, she nodded. "I suppose if you want to be an argumentative brat, I can't stop you," she told him, but her tone was lighter, like she didn't mind it as much if it was some reference, some joke. "And everything I say still applies if you're leaving." It applied more so, perhaps. In an ideal world, Order Senshi should be the most discerning. They should be the first to stand up against extreme acts of evil, against defiling people, against destroying their souls. Realistically, it wasn't always like that, and this seemed like a bad time to start a lecture, anyway. "This, especially. Pay attention to those dreams. That's what he's like. I'll stop the Princess backstory if you don't want to know what kind of grudge match you walked into the middle of, but you need to know to be careful." Especially if he became one of her allies. Then, it would be her responsibility if he got himself killed. "I'll welcome you with open arms, by the way," she told him, and while she was being polite, there was more to it than that. There was something interesting about him that she liked, despite everything. It was the sass, the overt references. She could almost relate to it, a bit.
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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2023 10:55 am
Reiki pursed his lips pensively, still deeply uncertain what to make of all this whatever it was going on between him and Cybele right now.… Hearing some of her responses, he didn’t feel like he was explaining himself clearly enough? Or maybe the both of them just……still didn’t have enough of the right contexts? They wanted to be on similar pages with each other but had different editions of the book, or something?
“Sorry,” he told her, finally slipping into the gentle and earnest tone that he preferred to use for Complicated Conversations like this one, “I didn’t mean to imply that any decency from you wouldn’t stand, just……” He gestured vaguely. “It doesn’t really make a difference to me one way or the other that you have friends in the Court, y’know? That’s your business, not mine, and even if the Court were as terrible as some people like to treat them, it’s not like I have any room or high-ground from which to judge anybody for the company they keep. Faustite has genuinely treated me better than several of my exes by sheer virtue of not lying to me constantly, not trying to make me into something I’m not—” At least not yet. “—and not handing me all his problems like ‘Fix these or you don’t really care about me.’ And we’ve still had a somewhat tumultuous course? To get to where we are right now?”
Meaning that most people, Reiki thought, would probably get hung up on things like “Faustite kidnapped you to a burned out basement to complain about you with his friends” and “He has at least had the intent to attack you before” instead of focusing on the more important parts. For example, how Faustite at least complained about Reiki to his face instead of behind his back, and how Reiki actually had attacked used his magic on attacked Faustite vs. Faustite mostly having the intent and leaving, and how Faustite really had a lot to be upset about in his life. It wasn’t his fault that most people didn’t make an effort to understand where he was coming from or try to understand his half-youma point of view instead of holding him to anthropocentric bullshit standards that fundamentally did not apply to him.
……Granted, Reiki hadn’t met another half-youma to, like, get an actual sense? Of how any of them besides Faustite acted or felt about anything? And given how singular each of them was, judging one by any of the others seemed at best massively unfair? But it made sense to him that judging Faustite by his ability to act like a human was deeply unfair and ******** up, never mind being about as useless and rude as judging a non-magical pet fish by its ability to discuss quantum physics.
“I meant it earnestly, too,” Reiki added, “about your princess backstory being interesting. And whatever friend you have in the Court, I am glad that he helped motivate you to leave the Negaverse.” He took a deep breath. Asking outright if Cybele thought it was valid for him to leave the Court less due to any generally applicable moral objections and more because it just wasn’t right for him personally…… Reiki wanted to, but maybe it was better to come at the issue a bit more obliquely: “Was leaving about the morality of it, for you? Like the perspective of ‘Chaos bad and destructive, White Moon nominally good or at least as close to good as anybody can really be in wartime’ issue? Or were there other reasons?”
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2023 3:58 pm
"All I was saying was that I thought he was a decent person, Dark Mirror or not," she said, perhaps a bit petulant, perhaps acting a bit like your worship. She hoped he took the inspiration from his current allies, that was all. Cybele took things she'd learned from the Negaverse all the time, and she hated that whole organization in the depths of her soul. It wasn't that important, though. If he wanted to sever any ties entirely and didn't want to think about it like that, so be it. "But anyway. Purification," she said, and straightened slightly, pressing her lips together and looking upwards as she gathered her thoughts from a time that she didn't always think about. "It had nothing to do with morality." She smiled again, but there was something thin about that, too. "The way the Chaos affected me, it was like there was a hole where any of that was supposed to be. Nothing I did bothered me. Nothing felt wrong." It was hard to describe, exactly. She remembered that time, but it felt distant, like a dream. "I took many starseeds. Many. There were people there who did have morals, who didn't like the thought of taking souls, so I would do the things that bothered them to make sure that the Negaverse had enough, and I remember telling Ganymede the night I left that I didn't regret any of it." Strange to think, in retrospect, and she shook her head. "The guilt crept in after, which was also a strange experience," but something that would likely not be relevant to him. She only knew so much about the Mirror at this point, with her memories the way they were, but she didn't think it had a deathgrip on people's minds in quite the same way. "No. Princess backstory; I was an Order Eternal when I was corrupted at my own training event." This was a story she had told before, enough that she was able to relax into it, like it wasn't so personal. "Apparently I was a powerful threat. They saw me as a prize, and that was how they treated me. Called me things like 'the acquisition' to my face, and as shell shocked as I was, I bought into it. Took some pride in it for a bit, but," She waved her hand, because this could easily turn into a long story. "Order treated me like a human, and my old friends were kind to me, even when I was doing terrible things. That was what it took, in the end."
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Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2023 8:52 pm
Reiki nodded along as Cybele spoke, mulling over whether or not he actually wanted to say what he was thinking. Namely, that whoever Cybele’s friend was, he probably drained energy from non-consenting people. He probably had all kinds of justifications for why it was okay, and why it didn’t matter, and why the Court was “better” than the Negaverse by any conceivable measure when they did the exact same thing but not as efficiently and without an actual goal in mind. Not that the goal made anything better for the Negaverse or their arguments, since the goal was giving Earth to Metallia, but still.
Even though the goal itself was as wretched and rotted as “The Negaverse (institutional)” itself, it was infinitely more concrete than “Uh, idk, Mirrorspace needs energy, I guess, and maybe it will grant us boons but, like, probably not, who knows.” Reiki couldn’t respect the why and wherefore of Negaverse energy-draining, but he could respect that it wasn’t just stealing for the sake of stealing. Because what else could you really justify calling what Dark Mirror Senshi did when they fed other people’s energy to Mirrorspace as if that gods-forsaken s**t-hole did literally anything successfully?
Nothing more than making themselves feel powerful at the expense of people who lacked the means of protecting themselves.
Not that Reiki had any right to judge. He’d done it too, same as any of the rest of them. Plus, he genuinely believed that Jet cared about making the Negaverse better and safer for its people—doing harm reduction work to protect them as much as he could—so what did he know about whether or not Cybele’s friend was a decent person?
Nothing, that’s what Reiki knew. Period.
Anyway, the rest of her story was much more interesting: “I’m sorry all of that happened to you,” he told her after thinking about what else to say and coming up empty. “Even the parts about what you did—that strikes me as a situation like ‘Something terrible clearly happened to make you okay with doing that when you wouldn’t be normally.’ Even if the guilt only set in later, that’s still something heavy you had to deal with. Plenty of people might have let something like that stop them completely, which……I mean, you’re standing here, talking to me, instead of curled up in bed, incapacitated by misery, so clearly, you didn’t let the guilt stop you.”
Whether or not her guilt was worth anything relative to the endless infinities of possible lives that got sniffed out by each individual starseed that ever got destroyed? Reiki couldn’t say. He didn’t know that anybody could. The reality of the reincarnation cycle worked on a level that most mortal minds could only fathom theoretically. At that, there was the argument about all those lives only being hypothetical for the moment.…… Too many factors, too many variables, not enough convincing points about who could say that any particular hot take on the situation was either right or wrong.
“……Thank you, by the way,” Reiki added softly, earnestly. “For answering that honestly.… I’m still sorry for everything that happened to you, but it’s nice to know that it’s not always a moral issue.”
He glanced out at the street, at the building where Michel’s date had dropped him off. “My friends who’ve gotten out of the Negaverse, I don’t want to say too much about their stories, since they aren’t mine to tell? But suffice to say, one of them has sometimes.…… He’s never meant to make me feel like I don’t deserve to leave the Court? But I’ve still felt that way sometimes, just because he had more concern for, like? The morality of what he did in the Negaverse, and whether or not it was fair or right for his Cosmos Knight friend to want to save him after everything he did, and if he deserved a chance to do better. All of these bigger picture things that speak to how little he values himself and how much he cares about others, basically.
“Meanwhile, I’m just here like……if I could stand being in the Court any longer, I’d stay where I am. Partly because one of the boys I’m sweet on is in the Court, and he’s happy here, and holding purification over him like ‘We can’t be together unless you do this’ would make me feel so gross and shady. Trying to make him give up everything he’s built for himself in his life for a boy just sounds so……”
Reiki shook his head and made a blech! sound, sticking out his tongue. “Then, part of me wishes I could stay just to spite all the people I had in mind when I assumed you were some feral, Chaos-hating murder-gremlin. Keep proving them wrong by not draining people, by doing whatever I can to help people, by defying their bullshit ideas about whether or not you can be with Chaos and still choose to help people and use your magic to protect them. Very Richard Siken energy, like in one of his poems: ‘The princess looks into her mirror and only sees the princess while I’m out here, slogging through the mud, breathing fire, and getting stabbed to death. Okay, so I’m the dragon. Big deal. You still get to be the hero’—like, my attitude with a lot of more presumptuous White Moon people has been very that?
“But there’s something wrong with how the Chaos works on Dark Mirror starseeds. It’s like a straitjacket, it’s suffocating, and even worse than that?”
Fumbling some of his hair behind his ear, Reiki sighed and looked her in the eye. Needed her to know that he was serious when he said, “All of my exes have tried to change me for their own benefit. My mom’s parents have spent my entire life trying to either ‘fix’ me or, more recently, to exploit their daughter’s gay son to get more votes when her father’s been up for re-election in Kyoto. I only know I have ADHD because some teacher at Knightside told my parents to get me evaluated, because she thought getting put on Ritalin would make me stop wearing the skirt uniform to school.”
He huffed. “No matter how I feel about Elsa and Faustite—no matter what friends I have who are still Chaos—I’m not going to compromise who I am, or let Mirrorspace just have its way with me, for the sake of boys.”
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Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2023 9:23 am
She was silent for a while as he spoke, because she knew her manners, and she knew that the most important part of having a conversation was to listen. She didn't hesitate, though, when he was done, to shake her head lightly at him. "Purification has nothing to do with what you deserve," she told him. She hadn't deserved the chance she'd been given. She was the first to admit that. In the short time that she'd been in the Negaverse, she'd managed to bring about a countless number of terrible deeds. She'd taken innocent lives, and helped strengthen the Negaverse's reserves. There were people who argued that it was good that she had this second chance, and of course she was grateful for it, but just looking at the numbers from a practical perspective, it was obvious that things would have turned out better for the world as a whole if one of her old friends had snapped her neck when she'd hesitated at the sight of them rather than reaching out a hand. She'd seen it with others, too. Plenty of awful Genrals showed up in white eventually. The purification magic still worked, regardless of if someone should have killed them a long time ago. She was almost grateful it hadn't come to that with Faustite. She had a feeling that this man might try to argue with her on those points, so she didn't mention them, not when this wasn't really about her. "It has to do with what you choose, and where you want to go from here. I don't know much about the Mirror, but I understand the feeling of suffocation. It was a strange feeling afterwards, because I wanted to be alive." If people were asking for her advice, she would advise that they go for that freedom every time. She knew that she wanted to say something about relationships, but she wanted to pick her words carefully. She rocked back onto her silver heels. "And it's a very personal choice, but it's one that people make for all kinds of reasons. If this Elsa does chose to follow you, that doesn't cheapen things for him, or for you. I know people who have purified together." She was trying to be more careful about what information she gave away, so she didn't mention that they were her own partners. "And," she raised an eyebrow as a thought came to her, "I purified for relationships as well, I suppose." She hadn't thought of it in those terms before, but it was true. "Not romance, that came later, but all the same." She'd done it to be with her friends. "And by the same token, you can stay if you want to be with him, or with," she paused, unable to stop a slight sigh and twitch of the lips, "Faustite? I suppose? Which would be a terrible decision, but again, it's up to you." She could give advice at times, but she knew she couldn't truly change people's minds, and she didn't try the way that some of the others did. Her nose wrinkled slightly as she added, "Faustite's made his choices very clear, for what it's worth. Very. That's why I'm at the point where I am with him."
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2023 9:46 pm
“He won’t choose to leave with me,” Reiki said without needing to think about it. Really, the idea……sounded nice? He guessed? But—“I mean, for starters, there’s no reason for him to do that? Seeing as we’re not together? In any romantic capacity?” Shrugging, he supposed he’d maybe given her the wrong idea by saying that he was sweet on Elsa. Fair enough, the phrase was pretty vague. “I have feelings for Elsa. I’ve never told him. And honestly, I don’t want him to know. Until recently, it’s just been garden-variety bullshit like ‘What if this makes things weird, what if he doesn’t like me back, what if I lose him as a friend too because I had to go and want too much, blah blah blah.’ But now……”
But how much help can we offer when we’re just trying to survive?—Reiki’s brain helpfully decided to replay that explanation that Levi had tried to offer for why it was actually secretly okay to drain energy from people and ******** around in Mirrorspace instead of helping people out in the real world.
But……were they, though?
Were they really?
Sure, there were fewer Mirror senshi running around than anyone else, but regardless of their numbers, they were literal magical girls who had literal magical girl superpowers. In what way were they the ones just trying to survive and not the innocent people who got hunted, and starseeded, and nonconsensually youmafied, or who had friends and family and people they loved just up and disappear, and who—Reiki could not stress enough—did not have any adequate means of protecting themselves from LITERALLY *ANY* of this high-concept magical nonsense?!
The math in that argument simply was not mathing.
Regardless, he went on, telling Cybele, “I mean, what’s the point of telling him how I feel when he’s had plenty of time and opportunities to indicate that he might reciprocate, but he hasn’t, and then I’m leaving anyway? Telling him ‘I have feelings for you, but also, I’m ******** off from the Court, so in the incredibly unlikely event that you reciprocate, these feelings can only amount to anything if you abandon your sister and her wife, and your career, and all the good work you do for people in your civilian life, and everything you’ve painstakingly built up for yourself’—like……?”
Hugging himself, Reiki quirked his shoulders. “I don’t know, that just sounds pointlessly cruel. At least, in this case. But……it’s nice to know that some people have had things work out that way for them.”
After a moment’s consideration, he added, “Elsa’s too good for me, anyway. Aside from luck of the draw in getting found by a Chaos Mauvian instead of a White Moon one? The whole reason I wound up in the Court was that I’ve known him as his civilian self for a while, and he does do a lot of good work to help people, so I thought ‘Obviously, any magical girl team he’s on, they’ll be the same way. He always works so hard and so tirelessly for others, he would never be with a group that uses their magic to hurt people for no good reason’…….”
Which, Reiki abruptly realized, he had been wrong about.
Which, in turn, possibly undercut his entire argument about Elsa being too good for him.
But that thought was stupid, so Reiki dismissed it with a shake of his head. “The point is, Elsa’s never done anything to indicate that he might fancy me. And if that chance had ever existed? He’s so fiercely loyal, I’m pretty sure that me abandoning the Court is gonna obliterate the possibility of anything romantic ever happening between us.”
Which was just as well, really. Elsa deserved better than some nasty, ill-tempered slut and perpetual ******** class="quote">stari_maga ……you ever feel like "i've had enough of this dude" about your own character? ;__;
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2023 3:26 pm
As Murikubushi detailed his relationship with this Elsa, Cybele's lips pressed thinner and thinner and her eyes narrowed a bit, too. It turned out that the relationship between them didn't actually exist in any romantic capacity. It wasn't like they were partners. She wasn't even sure from the way that the senshi before her was talking that they were that close of friends. Cybele had been jumping to conclusions. He'd have to forgive her for thinking that someone who was making him hesitate about getting on a better path for his life was more than just someone he was fantasizing about. "Then he doesn't leave with you," she said, matter of fact. She shook her head once, twice. "Then, in the worst case scenario, this ruins the romantic potential between you." She leaned in a bit, violet eyes sharp. "Trust me, Murikubushi. He's not worth it." He seemed to be figuring that out on his own but sometimes, people could use that reminder.
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