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 Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:26 pm
Now I know that this is an issue that most parents dont like to talk about but lets face facts its out there and it is something that needs to be delt with. For instance I know this woman that is a very good SINGLE mother who has 4 kid betwwen the ages of 6 & 1 her oldest is a very moody disobident little girl and one day she was throwing a fight and hitting her youngest brother (who is 1) so her mother picked her up and put her in the closet. Now keep in mind that she only put her there so she could clam down and so she could no longer be a harmful to her brother. In all she was in there for maybe a minute and the neighbors heard her screaming and called the cops. When they showed up she told them exactly what happened(including the fact that she had put her daughter in the closet )*I know because I was there* so the cops arrested her and toke her kids away. In the end she ended up spending 6 months in prison and lost all her parental rights to all 4 of her kids and know she cant get them back.
On the other hand I know these people John & Crystal who are bf&gf (I usto babysit for them) Jhon has 3 kids 2 girls and a boy and Crystal has 1 kid a boy named Sybastion. When Crystal moved in with John Sybastion was a happy, healthy, all around normal little boy. The John started to beat on him and starve him. He even toke it as far as dangleing him over the balcony of a 2 story building all infront of Crystal and she did nothing to stop it. John even had his kids trained to were they would tell him every thing I feed him will I was watching him so i had to sneak him food when they werent watching. So one day i called CPS (for those of you who dont know what that is: Child Protective Services) and they came out and toke all 4 kids. Sybastion ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks and they told me that if I hadnt called we would have died in a few weeks due to the fact that his body had already begun to shut down on him from being so malnurished for so long. In the end they got all 4 kids back after 2 & 1/2 weeks with no consiquenses (sp?)*
*Yes I did use their real names because I feel that these people should feel ashamed of themselves and have to live with what they did for the rest of their lives and if you dont like it I'm sorry.
I also have a friend who got pregant at the age of 14 she was so addicted to meth that when her daughter was born 3 moths early she was also addicted to it she got her taken away for 3 months. After getting her back she contiuned to use meth infront of her and then had 2 more girls both born addicted to meth as well the only difference is that they werent taken away from her. Now she contniues to get high infornt of her kids and sells drugs infront of her kids, but no matter what she dose CPS wont take her kids away.
These are just a few cases that i know of and at this time I would like to ask your oppinion on this very important topic. You may also commint on the cases that i have shared and if you would like you can also share a few cases that you know of. But most importantly I would like to ask you what do you think that we as a socity can do to stop this dreadful event from happening or what we can do to put an end to it?
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:49 pm
I think abuse is wrong. I also think that CPS can be closeminded and wrong. My mom got them called on her when I was 4 and I got interviewed I remember it pretty welll they asked me why my mom hit me *Kmart called them because someone saw my mom pop me on the mouth with her finger tips becuase I was throwing a temper tantrum about 2 minutes later I sprung a bloody nose they assumed she had hit me hard* WHen they asked if I ever got spanked and I said I had they told my mom and dad that it was not a exceptable punishment and that if they ever ot another report on my parents they would take us away. I have also had a run in with those people becuase I didnt call to make my son an appointment directly after his home care nurse left. I dont think you should have a friend addicted to meth and I think you should get those girls help.
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:22 pm
wotfan I think abuse is wrong. I also think that CPS can be closeminded and wrong. My mom got them called on her when I was 4 and I got interviewed I remember it pretty welll they asked me why my mom hit me *Kmart called them because someone saw my mom pop me on the mouth with her finger tips becuase I was throwing a temper tantrum about 2 minutes later I sprung a bloody nose they assumed she had hit me hard* WHen they asked if I ever got spanked and I said I had they told my mom and dad that it was not a exceptable punishment and that if they ever ot another report on my parents they would take us away. I have also had a run in with those people becuase I didnt call to make my son an appointment directly after his home care nurse left. I dont think you should have a friend addicted to meth and I think you should get those girls help. Let me make this perfectly clear I was friends with her long before she ever started doing meth(our moms were best friends before the had use) and the only reason I am still her friend is because her oldest daughter is my god daughter and I cant just stop coming around it would just crush her and I cant do that to her. Another thing I want to make perfectly clear is that I have tried getting her girls help but CPS wont do a damn thing about no matter how hard I try they just keep telling me that they will look into it(which they never do) then after about a week they tell me that they cant do anythign and that it would be best if I just left it alone.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:55 am
My daughter fell off my partners lap (he was only sitting on the sofa) and she fell pretty hard on her side. We originally thought it was her head, butwhen she was still crying, but never seemed in pain when we touched her head, I took her up to hospital.
Now, the first doctor I saw made it seem as though I had been abusing my child, because I didn't completely see what happened, even though I was sitting right next to my partner at the time. The second doctor reassured methat they would only take it as an abuse case if she had fractured or broken bones (complete load of bollocks, because a child only needs to bruise themself falling over for Social Services (Our child protection system) to be called in) My mum had the same problem when I fell off the dinner table (my nan was changing me and I had suddenly learnt to roll)
My mum had Social Services round like a shot. I didn't have them round until three days later. Admittedly, I should've called my Health visitor on the Monday morning (It was Sunday when I came home from the hospital with Kyra) but after havign to pend a few nights on the sofa with her until she felt better, I was too tired to think, my partner was worn out and didn't think, and we saw our Health visitor on the Thursday after we'd called her Wednesday. Thankfully, my mum still kept me and I've still got Kyra.
The only way for your CPS to do anything is to take pictures of this happening, or record it with a video camera. Being hard to do that, it may be best to borrow or rent a camera that will fit discreetly in something you wear.
Another thing you could do is to campaign AGAINST them. They're not doing their job properly, they are taking away the kids who don't need 'protection from their parent's because their parents are doing the right thing, yet leaving the vulnerable in the dangerous situation.
Society needs to ake things into their own hansd if they want the right authorities to do what they're meant to. But, if society doesn' do soemthing (which frankly they're just sitting on their a** and letting it happen) then children are going to die because of neglect not only from the parents/carers, but also from the authorities whose job it is to protect them, and are at the moment getting paid to sit on their a** until it's to late.
You did a brave thing reporting the abuse, and don't give up on trying to protect the children. They are our next generation, and any who survive will think that they need to abuse their kids as well, and the circle isn't broken. If I were to know a child was being abused, I'd do everything possible to help get that child out of the abusive situation. It's not right, it's nto fair, and it only makes the next generation worse in society than the generation in society now.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:26 am
@Kyra_uk I agree completly with you but CPS in Nevada dosent give a s**t about and child unless they are dead or half dead and I'm sorry to say it but if thats all they are going to do is sit around with their thumbs up their asses maybe we shouldnt have a CPS devision here. And I sorry about your daughter and I hope she is doing good now heart .
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:39 am
If you can make others listen, you may be able to start your own CPS. As I said, campaign, get others involved, make a petition. If you can people to listen, you may have a better chance to keep the children alive and keep them protected.
It's like the "Fathers 4 Justice" campaign. One of them planned on kidnapping Blairs son to make them notice. (And although it would be wrong, I agree dads deserve to be parents, so long as they're not abusive, which is how a lot of mums make them out to be just so they don't have access)
If you can make them see it before it's too late, then try it. Try getting any other authorities involved, police and medical staff. The more people involved, the more noticeable the problem is.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 8:01 am
Kyra_uk If you can make others listen, you may be able to start your own CPS. As I said, campaign, get others involved, make a petition. If you can people to listen, you may have a better chance to keep the children alive and keep them protected. It's like the "Fathers 4 Justice" campaign. One of them planned on kidnapping Blairs son to make them notice. (And although it would be wrong, I agree dads deserve to be parents, so long as they're not abusive, which is how a lot of mums make them out to be just so they don't have access) If you can make them see it before it's too late, then try it. Try getting any other authorities involved, police and medical staff. The more people involved, the more noticeable the problem is. Thats really good addvice thanks I give that a try.
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Posted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 10:57 am
Whoa, I'm going to have to say don't do something ILLEGAL like kidnapping. And who DOESN'T think abuse is wrong?
If CPS isn't going to get involved (and CPS is a VERY busy entity, it's not a perfect one), go to the local news station, the newspaper. Get it out there known. Kyra gave some good advice otherwise. Documentation is of the upmost important, BUT do so in within reasonable laws here. You have children too, you don't want to risk jail time and then the authorities focusing on you. Trust me, I know it seems callous, and I agree it would be so much simplier to just snatch up the kids and take them to a safe place, but it's not the most practical.
I have friends who work in social services and yes, we ALL know stories about how CPS didn't work, but I think people also forget when they do save lives. I don't think it's fair to generalize. It's like saying all military people are idiots, all cops are lazy and corrupt. I'm not saying there isn't some ******** up cases with CPS (my family was one), but saying they get paid to sit on their asses all day, get to KNOW the system and people who work in it. Go up there and talk with them, but don't throw around accusations and insults. They can't go above the laws and the laws in your area might be extremely fishy.
PLEASE do not take the advice on doing things bordering on breaking the law. This is going to bring attention on your family and if your "friends" decide to, they can have you arrested for trespassing, harassment, etc.
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Posted: Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:11 pm
I have a friend who is an absolutly wonderful mother. One day, her youngest was throwing a tantrum when he hit his head on the corner of a table. He was still mad at his mother when she took him to school (this happened in the morning) and, when the teacher asked what happened, he said "mom hit me with the table." This was just a little kid being mad at his mom and telling a little lie, but if his lie hadn't been so ridiculously unbelievable, who knows what might have happened?
I'm torn with the abuse stuff. On the one hand, I want to protect kids who are being hurt. I want society to be there to take them away from dangerous situations. But on the other hand, it's just so easy to go too far and you have perfectly good parents having their children taken away because of misunderstandings.
I can imagine how frightening it must be for parents, never knowing if some idiot is going to walk by, see your child crying, and assume that you are beating him/her.
Sometimes, the system just seems so unfair. I know that, as Luna said, it's a taxed system and it's impossible to expect them to be perfect. But sometimes it just seems like so many parents are having their children taken away without any physical signs of abuse (no malnutrition, no marks, no broken bones, nothing) and other children are in the hospitals again and again and again and nothing is done about it.
As for what I would do if I saw someone abusing their child, I honestly don't know. I think I would call the cops, but I'd have to be pretty damn sure the child is actually being abused first.
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