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 Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2023 12:38 pm
Backdated to 16 December, 2022
Kyrie stared down at the small, worn book she'd taken from her home. It rested on the table, one set far back from the rest of the bustling cafe. The sounds of life and holiday cheer from patrons, staff, and stereos contrasted painfully with the looming silence of the book. Blue fabric was long faded and frayed in sections, threading evident in spots along the spine where pages had begun to come loose and she'd had to stitch them back into place. No markings along the cover hinted to the contents, though swirling script along the spine in quick inked scrawl told her enough.
Solarian text, slightly faded in turn and clearly written over a few times to refresh the words, stared solemnly back at her when she glanced at the spine. The year she'd started that volume, followed by… nothing. She hadn't filled the book with tick marks. There was still proverbial sand left in the glass. Kyrie didn't need to see what was on the pages--a set number at the start were kept blank to allow herself space to write important notes. Then the pages were marked off by small strips of cloth, signifying a passage of a decade when filled with ticks, one for each day. She'd figured out the correct spacing she'd needed per line, per page, front and back, to equate for that time period.
Back in her home, she'd filled multiple books like that. By her approximation, the four books she had filled--and fifth she was working on--since the last of the major fauna had died off… it had been around two-hundred years. Thousands of ticks.
There were other books of notes. About different wars. Different eras. It'd been easier to keep track of time when settlements had been around, more people intent on preserving as much of Solarian life and knowledge as possible. Then they died, and she had to maintain a track of time herself, and--
Kyrie drew in a deep, shuddering breath, extremities tingling and chilled that she needed to wrap her hands around the warm cup of caramel coffee.
She'd asked Devyn to meet her there. Sure, it was in public, but they were far back enough that between the music and other patrons, no one would hear or even comprehend what they were talking about.
Not sure I'm doing good had been part of her texts to him a couple days prior.
Think I need to go back
Figure some stuff out
I'm not feeling okay about it
Can we meet?
When you have a moment?
Sorry, know you've got a lot yourself
They'd set up a time, a place. Kyrie wasn't sure who else she could speak to. Who else would get it, even slightly.
Metis, Cybele, Realta… Encke, they were all kind and friendly, yeah. But they didn't…
Kyrie took a sip of her drink, the sweetness and heat a necessity to push back the terror and guilt rolling inside her.
She didn't think they could ever fully get where she was coming from. But maybe that was just her own doom and gloom pity party talking.
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Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2023 7:40 pm
Devyn hadn’t been here before, but with the help of a well-programmed phone, he had arrived effortlessly and without any difficulty. A little device that could show a map and tell you exactly where you were was particularly convenient for him, given his affinity for finding himself lost.
It wasn’t that he couldn’t read a map, it’s just that his feet were a bit overzealous and he often traveled so fast that he wound up in all sorts of places. Most of which he hadn’t meant to visit.
But this, this was deliberate.
He’d dressed for the cold, as fashionable as always. He took great pride in his appearance, and even the dreary chill and bite of winter wasn’t enough to dampen his spirits.
It took him almost no time at all to locate her; he’d hardly even seemed to sweep the room before he was walking in her direction. He didn't order anything; as much as he liked a good snack, this was a planned meeting and it was important. He wasn’t going to let himself be distracted with sweets.
“Kyrie,” he greeted. He smoothed out his outfit as he sat down across from her.
“It’s good to see you again.” It was, even if the situation wasn’t the most pleasant. He didn’t know where she wanted to start, but he smiled warmly all the same.
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Posted: Mon Oct 09, 2023 3:07 pm
The sight of the well-groomed and well-dressed man brought a light to her otherwise gloom. Kyrie sat up slightly, her shoulders losing some of their tension as she offered Devyn a small smile back. "Hey, thanks for coming. Sorry for the short notice," she offered by way of greeting and apology--though the plan had been set for a few days, she still felt the need to do so.
The fact he didn't order anything both made her self-conscious of her own choice, and anxious to begin talking about.... the actual subject she needed to talk about. That she asked him here to talk about. Ugh.
Her lips pursed and twitched to the side, a faint scowl to herself as she considered how it'd been... a while since she'd felt the urge to run away from what she needed to do. Old habits die hard, as the saying goes, and she had to force herself to not ceased to the old temptation.
One of her hands left her warm cup to tap on the warn book on the table. "This is.... the book I brought here with me. I dunno if I mentioned it before." A quick flick of her fingers, and the aged pages opened, tiny tick marks covering the displayed pages in neat, strictly kept rows and columns. "I uh.... I used these to keep track of time. And notes about things, events... places, stuff... things I didn't want lost or forgotten, y'know?" It was a gradual babble, and she knew it, letting out a low breath that tossed about her bangs.
"....I'm dragging my feet here, sorry. I'm just... I'm... scared to go back. There's nothing there and it's empty and alone and I don't want to get stuck there and--" Kyrie closed her eyes, bringing her hand up to rub over them and take a deep, slightly shaky breath to attempt to ground herself. At times, it felt easier to keep her composure as Solaris. Falling back into the mentality of a soldier, rather than a scared civilian.
Without opening her eyes, or moving her hand away from rubbing at them as if she were trying to push away a growing headache, she asked, "How did you... handle going back?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2023 8:21 pm
Devyn waved his hand dismissively at first; it was no burden to be here, and it wasn’t like he had to shift plans to meet up with her. He listened as she spoke, and his eyes fell to the book she carried with her. Really, he didn’t mind letting her talk for as long as she needed, especially if it was to work up to something bigger.
He was patient, but she hadn’t needed as much time as he’d figured.
There was a weight he carried on his shoulders that seemed to lessen as he watched her. She was being vulnerable, he didn’t have the heart to sit here with any ounce of stoicism.
Her hand to her face hid it from him, but he didn’t think he needed to see her to imagine what she was feeling right now.
“With purpose.”
To be fair, he’d returned to his world to dissect a lie he’d been telling himself for–maybe centuries. He didn’t really remember when he started pretending like Percy was somewhere else, waiting for him. He wasn’t going to tell her that. If she came to him for strength, he didn’t know if that was the best approach.
Confronted with the truth, there had been a moment of emptiness. His sick, infected world was still home, so he’d retreated there.
It had been with purpose, though.
“I’d always intended to heal my world. I didn’t stay on Earth for long before I went back. Maybe a few days? You’ve seen a Mauvian about a phone, haven’t you? That’s what I used to get back to Earth. I took many trips back and forth before the Chaos was purged from my world.”
They were in public so he kept his voice low; he’d leaned in for a bit of privacy and so he could keep his voice soft, but he was attentive. If anyone had ventured too close, he was prepared to change the subject, but with no threat nearby there was no point in disguising the conversation.
“I’d been worried that it would get worse without me there. I don’t think it did. But I had strong defenses to keep it at bay. Every trip I took, I fortified something else. I suppose…I just treated it like a job. I’d been fighting for years, it wasn’t much different than any other day. Easier, maybe, because I knew I could come back to Earth if I got into a rough patch. If you’re going back, do you have anyone you can take with you? For your first trip, at least. Someone to have your back, just in case? It might help.”
He didn’t say it out loud, but the expression on his face said he was willing to accompany her if she didn’t have anyone else in mind.
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Posted: Mon Dec 23, 2024 6:57 pm
Her hand stayed at her eyes, as if the pressure could help ease the growing tension headache forming. Or stress headache. Or something. Anxiety headaches, were those a thing..?
But Kyrie listened intently. She'd asked to speak with Devyn for a reason, after all. His opinion mattered on this, and as fearful as she was of being... stranded, alone again... there was still the reality she knew she'd have to face back there. At least hearing of his experiences could give her... not insight, she knew better than to hope their circumstances would somehow be the same, but a level of hope that facing that history wasn't going to be in vain.
Still, she flinched slightly as he mentioned always intending to heal his world. She'd escaped. For a year, she'd ran from that place. A year was so, so short compared to the centuries back there. Not nearly long enough to ease those pains and fears.
How had fighting her own people been easier than facing an empty planet?
Taking a deep breath, she lowered her hand and opened her eyes, exhaling slowly as she stared down at the book on the table. If her eyes were slightly more red-rimmed, a tad shinier and wetter, she didn't comment or rub at them further. Kyrie had nodded somewhat to confirm she did have the necessary phone to go back, she'd just.... moved that app to a back page on the screen and refused to look at it.
Now, her lips twitched as she considered his process. Treating it like a job. Working in steps. But not stranded.
Lifting her gaze, she met his and understood the unspoken offer. A faint twitch in her lips signaled an attempt at a smile as she shook her head somewhat. "No, I... I haven't mentioned this to anyone else yet. I didn't... feel like anyone else would get it. The weight of it, I mean." Kyrie knew, logically, she was underestimating so many of Order in that broad statement. Casting a vast judgement over people who were just as much apart of this war as her and Devyn, and she did them a disservice with this disregard. But some part, some... old, jaded piece of her, cynical and bitter at the universe, felt ready to lash out at them. They haven't dealt with it as long or They haven't seen the worst of it rang in nasty hisses and amidst other ill whispers in the back of her mind, things that she knew she'd no right to deem of those born here on Earth. She had no idea what they had been through.
But just like with her world and her responsibilities, Kyrie ran away from facing the depths of those problems of hers.
She licked her dry lips slightly, looking back to the book. "Can I take you up on that though another time? Another set of eyes on things would likely help a lot... I don't even know where the source is, or what it is... but I know it wasn't near where I'd set up a place for the time being." One of her hands lifted to tangle absently with one of the long locks of her bangs as her brows furrowed. "I'll... have to see if I can find any of the old reports from other regions. I'm pretty sure I've got a record back there with the different locations of caches from some of the militaries and settlements..." Her nose wrinkled as she pulled herself back from falling into memories, shaking her head slightly. "Sorry. Thinking aloud. No, not going to bring someone this time. I need to figure out where I'm even starting from. But I'd really appreciate the help once I've got a plan going," she finally said, meeting his gaze again. This time, with a far more genuine smile that actually reached her eyes. First time for that in a while, really.
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Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2024 7:39 pm
“Of course,” Devyn assured. It was a lot for anyone to process and she had the burden of her years to carry with her. There was so much to take in, so much to do. Things felt like they moved so slowly and then so quickly.
It was so much to grapple with. She would have to go at her own pace or she’d lose her mind.
“You have time to research and make your plan. I’ll be ready when you are. And if you need any help, you need only ask.”
They’d been on their own for too long. It would have been callous not to offer assistance if he could be of aid–especially after all the help he’d received, too.
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