|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 3:42 pm
Faustite understood that, despite his best efforts, that conversation with Heliodor was a ******** disaster. It proved so obscenely counterproductive that Faustite was certain the boy would walk out on both of them permanently if he didn't have the power to summon Heliodor back against his will, but far worse than that, even Albite's attempts to assuage him proved wholly useless. Heliodor would not allow himself to make amends with either one of them, nor would he forgive himself the accident that provided Faustite with a far better outcome than the one he intended. It was a frustrating result, and a difficult one that stung him long after their conversation had concluded. Foremost in his mind, however, was the fact that Faustite could not get through to him despite anything that he said.
Second to that were the old memories the boy conjured. Faustite spent careful years of his life distancing himself from Schörl, from everything she subjected him to, and Heliodor thought it potent payback to dredge all of that out of its grave and torment Faustite with it. He was at a loss for what to do; he was supposed to be the Heliodor authority for Albite and he found himself at a crushing disadvantage when it came to finally confronting him.
There was only one other he knew he could turn to, and that was a relation that Faustite was only dimly aware of until a recent ******** exposed the brothers to each other. This boy, now an Eternal, had an office that was now closer than before; this was important for Faustite to abstain from talking himself out of this venture on the way down.
True enough, it was a short walk to Fafnir's new office. Hardly a minute had passed in transit and Faustite was still fuming over his own ineptitude and over Heliodor's persistent animosity. When he knocked, it was with enough force that it sounded as if he bodily threw himself at the damn thing. He supposed, then, that his ire and his aura announced him without having to put forth a name.
And, owing to that same rank, he could dispense with the pointless courtesy of waiting for Fafnir to open it up for him. Faustite let himself inside, all bluster and flame, as he headed straight for one of the boy's chairs.
"Your ******** brother," he seethed, fire coloring the insides of his cheeks as he hissed out his frustration. He collapsed into a chair with a metallic thud, crossed his legs, and fixed Fafnir with a lidded stare. "Was he always so ******** bullheaded when you were growing up with him?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 4:06 pm
The new office was a delight, as were many things since reaching his long-sought promotion. He'd taken full advantage of the new rank to requisition the space, had put actual money into a fine Italian marble desk and plush leather chairs, and over all had fully put his stamp on everything in the room down to the rug on the floor and the pens in a cup. Everything was artfully arranged and almost painfully tidy, though Fafnir expected over time and use, some of that hard edge would dull down. He was proud of it, and of himself, and suddenly paperwork was not nearly as much of a chore as it had been.
Even better was the fact he no longer needed to share and if he wished to deny entrance to anyone, that was his right... but he'd forgotten there were still some who could go where they pleased.
It was lucky for Fafnir that there had been a breath between the pounding and the door opening, as it meant Faustite had not seen him jerk at the slam of fist into wood. He may have been a little wide-eyed when the door swung open, but he recognized the figure immediately and his posture eased. Relaxed back into his chair, one leg crossed over the other, he watched with curiosity as the general king flung himself down into one of the seats. It had not been meant for the levels of heat Faustite could produce and Fafnir made a mental note to fix that at some point, since he now realized having his general king in his office would probably be a fairly common occurrence, knowing Faustite.
"Helio has always been stubborn and dramatic." He said calmly, wondering what his younger brother had done to put his... husband into such a state. Again he was reminded that, if he'd been asked, he would have told them that marriage was a bad idea. It wasn't his place to say anything, but he viewed the whole situation as one who knew a trainwreck was coming, but had no power to stop the conductors. "If he'd been tractable, its likely my mother would have had two dutiful sons to inherit her company instead of just one. But there have always been ways to manage him, to an extent. Why? Trouble in paradise?"
He knew the last part was perhaps a little too revealing, but he couldn't help poking a little bit. What could they possibly have to argue about now? Unless its about Helio's damn jealousy. With a husband who was a General King, what else could Helio possibly take issue with? He had all the vast resources and prestige of the Negaverse laid out at his feet...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 4:18 pm
Sitting up, Faustite reached as if to throttle the boy for his comment about trouble in paradise, but the gesture died halfway and Faustite curled his fist tightly before bringing it back to the arms of the chair. Fingernails dug in with intent to keep him seated, though he was certain the chair would be showing signs of his wrath for some time to come. He tried to tell himself that it was better the chair than Heliodor, but beating the boy's face in with the chair sounded like the best possible outcome.
"He's been in a ******** mood since the mission," Faustite tried to explain, his sibilance sizzling on the tip of his tongue. "Won't forgive himself the mistake, no matter the outcome. Now he's taking it out on me, like I] don't know what I'm doing."
Faustite used to think he knew what he was doing. He remembered times when he felt certain in his course of action and didn't pause to doubt himself. But now? He wondered if Heliodor's mistake led him in an outcome that was worse in ways he hadn't expected. If the boy's impulsiveness set Faustite up for confronting his own ineptitude and failing to overcome it. Such thoughts caused him to tighten his hold on the chair, as if the unpleasantness of his thoughts could be mitigated with enough tension in his muscles.
One hand was granted freedom as it spun through the air, following Faustite's words. "Thought I could reassign him to Albite, get him some lessons on self-acceptance, but he blew up at Albite soon as he ******** saw him. Like Albite was the worst possible fate he could have. Then he started —" Faustite clenched his ******** it. Doesn't matter. Boy's more than out of hand. How the ******** do I get him to see reason again?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 4:38 pm
A dark eyebrow raised and there was a hint of an unpleasant smile in the corners of his mouth.
"If you'd assigned me to Albite, I'd have blow up at you too. Though I suppose I can't say what relationship Helio has with him. I assume you thought he respected Albite enough to accept the transfer." Obviously, that assumption was wrong, but Faustite must have had some reason to think it would work. That or he was woahfully out of touch with his subordinates, which was a possibility. Just not something Fafnir would have expected. The tall man shifted in his chair as he thought about it, considering what to say.
"Were you giving him these 'self-acceptance' lessons as a General King... or as his husband?" He asked finally, his head tilted to spill dark hair over his shoulder. "Is his regret and self-hatred interfering with this duties? Do you have cause to take him to task for shirking or ruining missions?"
It seemed that Helio was not going to be punished for ruining the ambush, something that both surprised and relieved Fafnir even if he thought he truly should face some sort of consequence for it. There had been a moment when it happened when Fafnir would have happily beaten him black and blue for it... but there was still part of him that disliked anyone else raising a hand to his little brother.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 4:56 pm
Faustite rolled his eyes at the hypothetical. "Albite can teach him something I can't. Doesn't ******** matter how much respect Helio has for him." Obviously Heliodor didn't trust Faustite's judgment, else he wouldn't have balked at the transfer. And if Heliodor didn't trust Faustite's judgment, then what the ******** purpose was there in keeping the boy under himself anyway? Their relationship was often strained, so Faustite was loath to think that Heliodor would have suddenly taken it better if Faustite had come up with a better way to make that arrangement. If there was a better way; Heliodor seemed determined to take offense at everything.
"It's just a temporary reassignment. Told him that. Like I'd keep him under Albite for long — the boy doesn't know how to govern himself, let alone someone else." Faustite huffed.
Though the next question piqued his ire. Sitting up in his chair, the arms were the victims of his clutching fingernails as they sought to break it under their grasp. "What ******** difference does it make how I hand them down?! They affect all areas of his life, duty or not! ******** dammit, Fafnir, stop looking pretty and mocking me at the same time! I'm not as much of a ******** moron at personnel as —"
He paused, rapped his fingernails on the besieged material. Maybe I am a ******** moron, he thought to himself. Small wonder he doesn't respect me.
He was often the common denominator in their fights. Never did he see Heliodor rail against anyone else as harshly as he did Faustite. And while he often saw their spats as Heliodor failing to see what Faustite was saying, it could have been that everything Faustite was saying was wrong and Heliodor was losing his mind while trying to get Faustite to see truth. It would make sense; after all, wasn't Faustite the one proving inept at his position, rather than Heliodor, who had been a Super for years?
Faustite rubbed his temples. "He's already punishing himself so much that he's proving unfit for teamwork. The ******** am I supposed to do with a single soldier? It's like he hates himself enough that he wants no one else getting to know him, and that's the crux of functioning in a team."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 5:21 pm
The expression Fafnir wore eased and he uncrossed his legs to lean forward onto his desk, his hands loose and open on the top.
"If he is not performing professionally, then you have every right to assign him where he can get the help he needs or the discipline he lacks, and his outburst is a severe sign of disrespect that should be dealt with accordingly. You do not have to care whether or not he likes your orders." He said, trying to explain his reasoning. There was no smirk to his mouth now and he met the other's eyes with his own. "If you are concerned as a husband that he needs help, then it was a mistake to try to provide that through orders. I get that there is more cross over for you between the professional and personal than for anyone else, but that might be all the more reason to keep the two strictly separate. I don't think you are wrong for trying, but... it may be a case of letting the spoiled child scream on the floor until he gets tired of it. Helio is not a child and the stakes here are not just missing a treat."
He shrugged a little, rolling one shoulder.
"I don't have truly good answers for you, I'm afraid. I... feel like I'm also at the point where I can no longer put up with his tantrums and he'll just have to grow the ******** up." Which was maybe a little harsh, and never something he would have said in front of Helio, but... things had changed, both between them and in their life. They could not afford kid gloves any more... actions had real life or death consequences.
"Your situation is complicated by the fact that you're married now, and no doubt he'll carry over stuff he doesn't like professionally into your personal life and vice versus. Its either tough love or... hiding the bitter pill in something sweet. You could have told him you needed to assign him to a general because you could no longer over see his activities as a super, and only told Albite what you wanted to accomplish. I can't guarantee manipulation will always work, but sometimes... its expedient."
"And I agree, for what its worth... a singular soldier is useless at his rank. Good for nothing, but gathering energy and at that point he might as well have remained a lieutenant."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 5:40 pm
The youmafied boy sighed heavily. There were no easy answers when it came to Heliodor, it seemed; even his own brother admitted that he was tired of holding out patience for him. On one hand, that was relieving for knowing that it wasn't just Faustite who struggled so, but on the other, it proved deeply disconcerting for the implication that Faustite would have to do away with Heliodor, at some point, should he fail to get over himself.
"Stupid of me to have hoped for the best," Faustite admonished himself with a shake of his head. "Thought that getting married would have," he shrugged, "gotten his head out of his a**. Even one ******** margin. Would've shown that I care about him in and out of uniform.
"Guess I expected too much. People like him can't see beyond their own experiences." Which was torturous, in a way, for Faustite could never rely on Heliodor to understand the strange intricacies of his being part youma. The boy would never get it; he would always cling to Faustite's human side, then, and fail to grasp that the two were inseparable and one in the same. It was a struggle that Albite faced, too, but Albite had enough empathy and awareness of others to put those pieces together. And Faustite had thought that, if Albite could manage it, then surely anyone who wasn't braindead could do the same. He was wrong in that, too.
He was wrong often. More often than when he was a General.
"This ******** boy…" Even Fafnir wasn't able to provide a good answer. There truly was no dealing with Heliodor, and it came back to what Taenite had warned him about months ago. It came back to Schörl, years before that — the boy was an albatross around his neck, and one day, Faustite would suffer irreparably for it. But he didn't want to give up on him, and that impasse was so insurmountable as to be torturous.
Faustite paused, sniffing the air. Then he stood abruptly, turned around, and found that he'd left a black char mark on the chair. It smoked somewhat, filling the area with an acrid stench that he wafted away without thinking of it.
"So I have to hope he sucks it up eventually. Or rely on Albite to get through to him. What ******** choices." He rubbed his forehead. "My General told me he'd be my undoing. She was never ******** wrong."
That was it, then. "Thanks, Trey." He turned, then paused. "Send the bill to Taenite," he added, motioning to his previous seat. He finished turning, then, and headed for the door.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 5:57 pm
Fafnir settled back as Faustite rose, eyeing the charred chair he'd left behind. It wasn't overly concerning... disappointing, but easily replaced, and something he should have thought of to start with. He was put off, however, when Faustite immediately made for the door.
"Faustite, wait..." He called as he rose himself, feeling a little bit at a loss from the whole conversation. He had not expected the man to stomp in here, grump about his brother, and then rush back out...
"Stay for a while. Drink some wine." Fafnir said as he waved at the sideboard with its crystal decanters. "I feel like you need more than to just be told its a lost cause, which wasn't my intent. Relax a little bit, let yourself... cool off. Stay."
Maybe he'd been too fatalistic about it... there felt like there was more to this than just what was immediately apparent. And for all that Helio was the one having emotional issues, it felt like maybe he wasn't alone in that. Not that Fafnir was an expert in these things... but he didn't like the feeling of ending things on that note.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 6:12 pm
Faustite paused in his step, mainly because he hadn't expected anyone to stop him when he was leaving. He'd expected a simple parting note, or maybe some admonishment for burning a hole in the chair, or even Fafnir pointing out that Faustite had a hole in his uniform somewhere, but the offer for wine and a change of subject was furthest from his list of expected outcomes. At first, he was at a loss for words, and could only stare at Fafnir owlishly until his thoughts caught up with his language processing center.
His first instinct was to inform Fafnir that, if he stayed for wine, then that chair would become far more burnt than it had been when he initially tried to leave. But Fafnir wasn't stupid; he understood what would happen when mixing alcohol and fire. Maybe the opportunity came up because Faustite accidentally set the chair on fire.
He managed a simple okay, for it was an opportunity to talk to Fafnir without wearing heavy laurels. But if Fafnir thought he needed more than to be told how stubborn and petulant Heliodor was, then Faustite couldn't tell him what he needed to hear instead.
Maybe Albite could, but Faustite started to wonder if he was relying too much on that boy. Spreading him too thin. Making him take up too many tasks that Faustite should have kept to himself or delegated elsewhere. And Fafnir had never needed him, never wanted for Albite's insights, anyway. He was smart enough to get this far and keep his head about it. Maybe it was Faustite who was the one who needed so much more help and guidance now.
The boy backtracked his way to the chair, considered it, then unclipped his cape and laid it over top of the damaged upholstery. It wouldn't help much, he knew, and it certainly wouldn't undo the damage done previously, but it might prevent more damage when Faustite started drinking with an open flame.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 6:48 pm
There was a wash of relief through the corrupt when Faustite stopped. As he retraced his steps, Fafnir left the space behind the desk to step to the sideboard instead and pour the two glasses of wine from something deep red in one of the sparkling bottles. Rather than take the seat at the desk again, he came around to the front and handed Faustite his glass, kicking the other chair around until he could settle into it facing the other man instead.
"I feel like there is more to this than just Heliodor being himself..." He said softly as he settled himself. He didn't comment on the cape, simply accepting that chair as a necessary casualty. He'd make better plans, and better purchases, later.
He mentioned another general... curious, that he'd never heard of or seen this general before. Faustite never mentioned her, though some part of him had always assumed he must have had one before he'd reached that rank himself.
"You can tell me about it, if you want... Something has you feeling helpless, which is a surprise from a man like yourself in your position." He said as he swirled his glass gently. "...Or we can just drink the wine. "
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 6:58 pm
Faustite's eyebrows rose with Fafnir's forward comment. He felt stung for it, mainly because Fafnir was so sharply correct that Faustite nearly checked himself for a bleed. It was a moment of thoughtlessness that had him running his mouth to Fafnir about Heliodor, and he must have said too much for Fafnir to think there was something else lurking in this miserable debacle. For that, Faustite was grateful for the wine; it would soften the sting, at least.
Faustite took a long pull of it to buy himself time for that intimated question. Fire flared up in a hearty burst once the wine hit, and alcohol suffused him much more easily than it had with Aelius in the past. But even thinking the name had him on edge. His thoughts were ever a mess, and Fafnir was asking him to organize them enough to form something coherent — something that someone completely uninformed of his upbringing in the Negaverse could understand.
And that was where he felt far more helpless, for his answer was to decline talking about it by virtue of not having the competence to assign words to those years. There was nothing he could say that conveyed it appropriately.
Nor could he identify the growing isolation he felt, as if his choices were being taken away from him slowly. While he understood his back wasn't to any wall, that this must have been in his head, he couldn't banish the feeling nor rationalize it away. It only grew stronger, despite whatever meager counterpoints he threw up in his defense.
"I don't know how," he ventured carefully as he swirled the glass in his hand. He frowned, thinking that Fafnir was owed more than such a mediocre response. "Been some things I've had to keep to myself. After so many years, it's like I've lost the ability to talk about any of it. Just exists like an instinct now. But Heliodor knows just enough to be an absolute <********> about it, and I'm ready to beat him to death for it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 7:12 pm
Fafnir nodded slowly and sipped his wine, outwardly relaxed even as his curiosity ate at him.
"I feel that we have that in common." He said as he crossed his legs, letting his robes fall back from his bare knees. Some things were to dangerous to talk about with most people. He always avoided getting too deeply into his complicated relationship with Labyrinthite for that reason. It would be too easy to use the helplessness and desire for control against him, if someone wanted to use him as their stepping stone.
Still. It was just the two of them now, and he already had what he'd wanted. Who else in the Negaverse could he trust with it, beyond Faustite? Not that Faustite had to feel the same, when Fafnir was hardly at a rank to be equals with him.
"Is this something that would benefit from a real knock-down, drag-out fight about it, with... angry sex mixed in?" He asked, putting a measure of lightness into his voice that invited Faustite into the joke, if he wished it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 7:32 pm
He flinched at the thought of having that in common. "Hope not." Faustite wouldn't put anyone through Schörl, but if he expected anyone to survive it, it would be Fafnir. He would come back changed, as no one could endure that and stay quite so constant, but he would fare far better than someone like Albite. Better than his brother did, though Heliodor only got a taste.
Maybe it would be easier to talk about the way she treated Heliodor instead of what she'd done to him. Maybe that would give context to Heliodor's behaviors and spark some new ideas for how to handle him now. Maybe it would gain a margin of pity between brother who, surprisingly, seemed less inclined to give each other succor anymore. Faustite couldn't help but feel a margin guilty for that, too, especially in light of how they found out about each other. There were no simple solutions when problems involved men, he found. It had him long to return to the Rift instead.
He tried to laugh at the joke, but Faustite was as good at faking a laugh as he was at covering his own expressions. The attempt was appreciated nonetheless. After swirling his glass again, Faustite downed the other half of the glass.
"Much as I'd love to kick his teeth in and ******** him for bleeding on me, I doubt it." Would've been more in his realm of experience if he could do that and they'd be alright afterward. But that would mean that Heliodor would have more in common with youma, and that boy was the furthest thing from a youma that Faustite had ever met in his life.
"Didn't take well to being brought into the Negaverse. Unsurprising — he was awakened before, so he had to change identities." Better that he leave out the thorny ******** that Faustite had been in at the time that forced his hand on Rowan, too. "Took that out on everyone around him. Himself, too; tried to walk into the Hall of Shadows and it took everything in me not to throw him in there myself." He set his teeth on edge.
Pausing, he reflected, then added, "But he didn't have it easy, either. Got stuck with the same s**t training schedule with four, five hours of sleep. Got put through his paces. Trained half to death. All while fixating on a boy who didn't exist — who had to be held from him at the time. Got himself into trouble, too. Know he didn't take well to getting his feet caned.
"Now he's inflicting all that on me, like I was the one in control. ******** c**t," he huffed as he poured himself another glass.
"Trying to feel for him ******** sucks."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 7:55 pm
Fafnir grimaced a little, hearing the training Helio had to go through. It put into context some of the things he'd seen in his brother, but not all. And that had been years ago, now. Years where he had Faustite to help him, and now Faustite was in a position to keep him safe from everything, if he chose. That Helio should be having troubles now made so little sense to him.
"I can see where the troubles started..." He said, echoing his thoughts. "But its hard to understand why they persist, when he has you now. I can understand he needs to process guilt over how he botched the mission... maybe that just needs time. I hate things that can't just be fixed. But regardless of any of that... its unfair to take his troubles out on you."
"Hopefully, at least this time, he will calm down after a while and see some measure of reason. Maybe he just needs to let it all out, and then he'll be able to think at least a little clearly again." Fafnir could hope that would be the case. It was a long shot, but he could hope.
"If you have another plan for him, let me know... maybe I can help suggest ways to implement it. Or if you need me to drop some choice words in his ear..." He lifted his chin in a small salute. "We can conspire together."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 17, 2023 8:10 pm
"Might be my fault, too. Protected him from…" Faustite squinted. "Most of it. Never told him. Would've hurt his pride too much. Should've done it anyway."
Faustite leaned back in his chair, then propped his foot against the desk to keep himself at a precarious balance. He sipped the wine thoughtfully, now pleasantly tipsy enough that he could feel a numbness brewing in his lips. It was easier to talk about such things without so many sharp lines and cutting phrases to navigate. Schörl never seemed as bad drunk as she did sober, for nothing seemed to matter quite so grievously like this. Would that he could stay a constant level of inebriated, he would probably prove better at his job.
But he wasn't so lucky, for that was an expensive (and noticeable) habit for his boys to afford. Not that Taenite would miss the money, but the wine? He'd notice the bottles disappearing. And if he leaned on Albite for it, then the boy would notice his spending money dwindling. He had to assume the same for Alkmene, though he expected such a sharp-tongued boy to lash him for it. And Heliodor would've wished him to burn to death from his own poor mix of alcohol and fire.
Well, that was sobering. He took another pull of wine.
"I never let him suffer," Faustite reflected, half to himself. A black knuckle rubbed against the tip of his chin in thought. "So he never had to outgrow it. Didn't let Schörl beat it out of him, either.
"Don't know anything about the General he was under when he went to — wherever it was. England?" That seemed so long ago, now. Faustite never thought to look into it; he knew he hadn't the clearance as a General, and after the promotion, he was too swept up into the maelstrom to think on it again. "Reports he filed might tell me something. But I expect there wasn't reason to suffer out there."
Fafnir's conspiratorial salute was charming, drawing out an unguarded smile from the boy. "If you could convince him that he had it ******** good in the beginning, that'd be a start." He huffed, setting his wine glass down as he rubbed his face with his palms. "Should've gotten mixed up in you instead."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
