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 Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2023 4:53 am
10th July 2023 - 23rd July 2023
One Day Auto-Hit
The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Concession Stand Brawl!
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Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2023 2:51 pm
BUH DUH BUH BAH BAHHH
I'm lovin' it
Pusha and J, the T brothers, had a hit on their hands with the tasty beats that echoed through the arena. Everyone in the building knew the shameless plug only meant one thing, the Marauders in a Concession Stand Brawl. The months long build up to Nick Williams's return match coupled with the Main Event Marauder's return to action after a multimedia tour selling Marauders and the viability of long term stock options in WWFG, was set to come to a close in what would have been one of the most highly anticipated not just matchups but match types in recent history had a certain outlaw outfit not jumped the shark and killed all the heat I had built up. Being an official contest, the match was set to start in the ring with plans to work briskly to the concessions area. The pay per view is taking place in Chicago because no one wanted to answer that in any press releases previous to the show. The area is starved for wrestling and is a stone's MHQ or Burger U, perfect place to make sure the concessions are fully stocked for patrons and competitors alike.
Smoke fills the entrance stage as SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDER PATTY Summers makes his way out from the back wearing yellow and red polka dot trunks and shutter shades. Summers is glistening but in a change from his usual baby oil, Vaseline Man switched to a grease component for the match to take advantage of his surroundings. The Main Event Marauder was flanked not just by his color coordinated coaching staff of Paul, Vaseline Man, and 'The Hollywood Hitter' Jack James, but a group of mascot suits to match the animatronic McRauder Band, Friday Freddy's Unnighted Quintetorama. The mascots began to throw out 20% off McRauder Meals over $15 coupons in an effort to drum up business for the club. The Main Event Marauder just spent months getting randomly attacked at sporting events so he was always going to have a few eyes on his back for a match like this.
SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDERS PATTY Summers would make his way to the ring as the crowd boos excluding a pocket of smart fans who watched him win the EEW World Championship, much to Cartwright's chagrin, not long before this. The Cornette face tee shirt fan in the front can be heard groaning how this won't be as great as the first one. It would have been had all the heat not been killed by mark booking these two competitors had no say over. Summers would throw his shutter shades over to the announce table as he entered the ring on the far side from the entrance stage and ramp. Once inside, Summers would run the ropes back and forth twice before nailing a perfectly executed Fargo strut with some McRauder special seasoning thrown on top. Summers would head to a corner facing the stage as Vaseline Man applied some finishing touches to the TRT tested and approved physique of the Main Event Marauder. All eyes were up top as the music faded out though everyone knew prison jacked hitman Nick Williams could appear from anywhere.
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 5:34 pm
I'm only human
I'm only, I'm only
I'm only human, human Electrifying beats surge through the speakers, filling the arena with it's melody! The entrance ramp is illuminated by a dazzling display of lights, smoke billows from the sides! The jumbotron displayed only the WWFG logo, as the company had failed to dig up previous match spots to show! Maybe I'm foolish
Maybe I'm blind
Thinking I can see through this
And see what's behind
Got no way to prove it
So maybe I'm blind  Erupting with anticipation, the crowd reaches a fever pitch! Fans found The Archangel! But I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put your blame on me
Don't put your blame on me Above the ring, on a rope, slowly descending down upon an ignorant, polka dotted dork! No show of safety, with only a hand tightly grasping the rope, and a foot in the loop! Take a look in the mirror
And what do you see
Do you see it clearer
Or are you deceived
In what you believe Quickly closing in on the ring at about fifty feet! A stern face of business to be done, he frisbeed his fedora away, and watched it flitter off! Cause I'm only human after all
You're only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put your blame on me At a good guess of forty feet high, The Archangel condescendingly stared down at his target! The brazen flamboyancy of WWF's EEW Champion, awaited Nick's emergence in near paranoia! Some people got the real problems
Some people out of luck
Some people think I can solve them
Lord heavens above Is it thirty feet now? No appearance of Nick onstage and slick Summers, smartly catching a bulb.. Raising a chin, his eyes flow upward, jaw dropping, as the polka-dotted Summers spotted Archangel bounding free from his lowered line! I'm only human after all
I'm only human after all
Don't put the blame on me
Don't put the blame on me  Song fades, as Williams managed to perfectly pinpoint crashing his chest into SIZZLIN' HOT!!
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 6:43 pm
The Archangel fell from the heavens to enact his plan to perfection as he planted himself right into Summers who had walked towards the center of ring. The two men crashed and the match before the Main Event Marauder was sent with a thud to the mat. The Concession Stand Brawl likely main events this B-Show if a certain match doesn't happen. Look at all the build to it, looks like Mick Foley, and by extension Cartwright are holding the two now viral sensations back.
Nevertheless, SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDERS patty would roll himself towards the ropes in an effort to recover all the wind knocked out of him and get back to his feet. The Archangel had been discovered to be a man sent after Summers and it was evident he took the job seriously. There was no telling how far Nick Williams was willing to go to rid the McRauders.
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 7:35 pm
Williams rolled off Brantley's face and to the ropes as well! Heaving back his breath, the arena at a high off of a thunderous reception to this match start! Sitting 90 degrees across, from what would technically, be his competitor, Nick could only glare and pull his fine silk jacket off! Be it to save the lavish threads from ruination in their beyond heated brawl or just a feeble attempt to remove restrictive wear in regaining oxygen before the McFranchise enthusiast!
At sight of Summers pushing up to his feet.. The Archangel rolled out?! And ran right at Vaseline Man!! Swinging a clothesline at the shins! Should be easy, like butter on ice, with an expectancy of a glistening man dropping face first, shnoze on the ring apron, available there for him to wipe the greasy blood off!
Hit or miss, was near irrelevant, as Nick merely wanted to ensure a one-on-one!
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 8:07 pm
Summers watched on as Nick Williams got out of the ring and used the opportunity to regain some strength. His face was sore but he had could use this time to scout out the sets Nick Williams would bust out. Would it be a throwback or a new invention? SIZZLIN' HOT would crawl over to a better view to watch how the Archangel would go about business.
Vaseline Man was in shock. The Archangel had flown in a blatant gimmick theft to slam into his boss. Distraught knowing Nick Williams likely played a part in Condom, Boy Wonder's assassination attempt on him and successful hit on Ms Sex in Allentown, Vaseline Man couldn't act in his usual heroics. He would feel his legs suddenly sweep out from under him. The slippery hero fell face first into the ring apron leaving him gushing. Vaseline Man fell to the hard floor and crawled towards the mascot Freddy's Viernes Cinco Mariachi band playing the biggest hits of today.
"We gotta hit him with the Fresh 46 Y9 champ, he's coming in too hot, man. I'm telling you. Heh, this cat is bringing some fire, WOW." Jack James looks at the ongoing action to do some scouting. "Champ, we gotta do something. I say we hit the hole to really open up our offense. Lots of plays in the stands. I say we both go in for a-" James watched Vaseline Man fall and stopped sending information to Summers. The Hollywood Hitter would go to Williams looking to pick him up from his sweeping line and aim a hard right. Summers slid under the ropes but maintained distance by peaking behind the corner. Paul would slowly make his way to Vaseline Man to give him the towel to clean up.
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 8:44 pm
David Otunga, wearing his neckbrace, sits in the WWFG production truck his eyes darting back and forth between two monitors: One focused on the action in the ring, the other a still video image of the concession stand for which neither man had yet made their way to. Narrowing his eyes, pushing up on his cartier glasses with his middle finger he leans into his walkie talkie: "Alright, Michael, we're all clear." On the other end of the walkie talkie, Michael Tarver in a overcoat, sunglasses and fake mustache glides around the corner making his way slowly towards the fully staffed concession stand. Suspenseful music begins to play in the former NXT rookie and bare knuckle boxers head, clearing his throat he arrives at the front of the stand pointing to his nametag-- "I'm Jermaine Dellecarter. State health inspector. They sent me to check the inventory?" The pimplefaced teenager at the cash register folds immediately, an easy mark if there ever was one, reaching under the register producing a clipboard documenting every item that was stashed in the concession stand. Needless to say, there would be no McRauders Fish Fillets tonight or for the next few days at minimum. Otunga listens as Tarver relays, line by line, each item on the list. As he does so, the former Mr. Hudson texts furiously on his cell phone, a wall of text the likes of which few had ever seen growing and growing. He'd expected the stands to be fully stocked, but the lawyer was aghast as the sheer volume and variety of snacks, treats and other assortments being read to him by his bodyguard. After several moments, he hits the send button on the text to Paul Summers.
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Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2023 9:09 pm
Hand catching and slipping right off the pole, Williams staggered back into the barricade! Was it the lack of wind or the oil dripping off his arm?! Know what? Doesn't matter! Disgust rolled up his face, shrugging off shameless hands of fans that patted his broad shoulders! Didn't they know he went to prison for attempted homicide?! Doubtful! Tearing his white vest off now, The Archangel furiously wiped off what grimy shmuck he could, soiling Gucci linen of luxury! Holding a ball of his pride, he casteth the top to floor! Eyes striking hard in direction of Summers, the mark. Bare chested Williams pushed off WWFG's barrier, in a charge at the mark! What will he do?! In such a rage, he hadn't a thought on it! White hot rage! Rage that could kill! 
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 3:25 am
Jack James fumbled around in his pocket briefly to discover he hadn't passed the earpiece over to the boss. He would quickly scurry over and hand it to the Main Event Marauder who would put it in. "Testing, boss are we good?" The Hollywood Hitter needed to make sure that BS could have the plays and any other miscellaneous information relayed in real time.
"Yeah we're good, Jack. We gotta figure out this Nick Williams, dude. Where's Paul? You in the channel, brother?"
Paul, after giving Vaseline Man the towel would look over at the gesturing duo of James and Summers realizing his headset was not on and would rush to flip the switch to join the channel. "Sorry boys, technology is getting out of line these days." Standard unit from the Ditka era. AC/DC's Back in Black starts playing quietly and it's clear Paul is receiving a text on his Blackberry. The older Summers would begin to relay the information in the channel to James specifically to come up with some more plays around the stands. Flamin' Hot Dorito dust eye poke? Maybe. Beer bat headlock takeover? Anything's possible.
Paul would start to walk over to James and SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDER PATTY Summers to further discuss the opening play sheet. Really test the waters and see what wave there is to ride. Suddenly all three turn towards the kid in the Cornette face shirt just as Williams charged at them.
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 3:49 pm
The cluster of dolts hammering on over tech communication, that should have been resolved, far before this match!
Now.. The Archangel was there to aggressively send a message! A hooked, ball fisted punch down Paul Summers ear canal!
A brain addling series of headbutts to the Hollywood Hitter! Enough to knock him down and then some!
"I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH!!" Nick shouted out in a fury of being disrespected, sharing a perverts grease, and the ruination of his proud wardrobe!
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 5:10 pm
Paul Summers and Jack James were huddled in front of the Main Event Marauder as the plan was coming into place. As the texts poured in, the ideas were flowing. The three pros, veterans, two of them should have been Speed main eventers, were rattling off finishes from the classic brawls. At last the powerful punch of prison jacked, greasy armed Nick Williams connects knocking the older man down to the floor. His headset went to the ground hard but luckily stayed together. Paul had been knocked lights out. No telling how long, might get a standing ten after still. Paul's phone came flying out of his hands into the hands of his boss.
Jack James then eats a headbutt, turns around to slam into the ring post, and falls backwards. There was a plant in the production truck as animated birds flew around the head of James. He wasn't going to catch any color just yet, that was for the stars.
"Trifle deez nuts." Summers quips as he takes off immediately running away from the Archangel up and over the barricade into the crowd. He would grab the Cornette face shirt guy's souvenir cup of Diet Sprite as he started making his way up the stairs. The Cornette face shirt guy just smiled knowing he was going to have an amazing and original email to send to Jim and Brian about how Summers hotshot the Concession Stand Brawl like he hotshots everything.
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 5:51 pm
The Archangel just dropped two of Summers cronies in no time flat! In JJ's last conscious moments, he managed to catch Williams off guard in a bit of buffoonery, that took some piss out of the Main Event Marauder's opponent! Who stood in a livid surprise for a moment, looking down on the Hitter, that seemed to do well in hitting his own head, until Brat Brantley opened his barbaric mouth! Then on with the chase!
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 6:19 pm
Summers was taking off up the stairs keeing track of Nick Williams. As the dangerous criminal made his way behind the Main Event Marauder, Summers would chuck the souvenir cup at Williams hoping to incite further rage from his wild opponent. Afterwards he'd continue his run upstairs while feverishly texting Otunga about Gromace Shake availability when he trips and falls. SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDERS PATTY Summers would scrape his shoulder bracing himself as he saved the phone in his trunks allowing Williams time to catch up to around 80% of the way. Can't spend too much time in the crowd because of liabilities.
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 6:59 pm
Jogging up after SIZZLIN' Summers and absolutely no selling the souvenir cup bouncing off his temple, not even a blink in Nick Williams death stare, as sticky icky beverage ran down his shoulder and arm! The other arm still had remnants of vaseline. A cold smirk crept up, as Archangel began to catch up Terminater style, off of a McRauder flub!
Suspicions started to sink in, sinking his smirk, Nick snatched a phone from a fan in passing and chucked the device at Summers! The nameless fat fan of horrid fashion, wearing a shirt of ""Worlds Best Brit: Can't Get Right without Cartwright!"
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2023 7:16 pm
Summers was caught with the phone of the Cartwright fan in the face! Following the tradition, a few fans joined in solidarity of their Cartwright shirt brother. They agreed with Cartwright's vision of holding Summers and the McRauders back. Summers would momentarily cover up to avoid the onslaught before trying to crawl up the steps. SIZZLIN' HOT LIKE A McRAUDER PATTY Summers was aiming to get to a more familiar part of the arena to him. The Archangel was on a warpath, even being covered in all kinds of grease, especially from the Cartwright fan wasn't going to stop him.
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