The Calling (12) : A beautiful melody drifts on the air from somewhere far away. The vocals are in a language you don’t quite recognize, but feel somehow familiar to you. Something about the song calls to you, but no matter where you go, the song seems to sound the same distance away. The longer it goes on, the more emotional the song becomes--and the more emotional you become. Something about the song is possessive and consuming, like it’s all you can think of. Something resonates in you as the song crescendos, and the feeling is at its strongest--be they good, bad, anything, but suddenly the song fades, and there’s only an emptiness inside of you. The feeling of loss is strong, and can leave someone feeling emotionally numb. Someone out there was calling to you, and you couldn’t find them.
The balcony was probably one of Mel’s favorite spaces in her home, second only to her bedroom. It was a decent space considering the overall size of her place, and she had gone out of her way to really finish it so she had somewhere she could go if she wanted to be outside without actually having to leave. Today, after a particularly taxing day at work, Mel sought solace on the comfortable lounge chair in her private oasis, book and water bottle on hand.
She was flipping through it at a very leisurely pace. While normally she devoured books whole, that usually only applied to fiction. This was a friend-recommended book about interior design. She was looking to spruce up her place and was happy to take recommendations from the people around her. Help, too, if anyone was willing. She hadn’t asked yet, but there was that one guy the other day…
The young woman snorted at the memory.
Not all strangers were gentlemen like the one who was looking for those pods.
She was just about to pull her focus back to the book when she heard a quiet, lilting melody drifting by. A feeling of loss gradually began to settle inside of her, and she couldn’t help the sting in her eyes as the melody carried on in a passing breeze.
Quickly she got up, abandoning her oasis in search of the source of this melody. It was as loud and as clear inside as it had been on the balcony. All the way down the stairs of the complex, and even once outside, whichever way she went the melody seemed to be exactly where it had been when she first heard it. It wasn’t getting farther, at least, but she wasn’t getting any closer, either.
The wind cooled her tear-stained cheeks as it blew past her. She was frozen, gripped by some terrible, horrible loss. She couldn’t explain where the feeling came from but it seemed to ebb and flow with the melody, crescendoed and quieted alongside it. Desperation and longing consumed her the longer she listened, a deep sorrow rooting itself inside her chest as she wandered almost aimlessly around her complex.
The melody paid her no mind, just continued on until she rounded the corner…
And then it was gone.
Her world stilled in that instant, the color drained from her face as she strained to listen for the melody.
Nothing. Just the sounds of the city.
Mel stood there looking dazed as she processed what just happened. Both the melody and the emotions it brought her were gone as quickly as they’d come and now she just felt…nothing.
Her knees nearly gave out as fatigue suddenly took over. Thankfully she was by a wall, so she used it for support while she gathered her energy.
She glanced around. Thankfully there didn’t seem to be anyone else to witness her frantic exit from the building, so she quickly made her way back home.
In the elevator on the way up she couldn’t help but think of the melody again, and all the feelings that came with it. It brought to mind the memories she had from her childhood that, in her opinion, barely counted as memories. They were more like flashes, really. Glimpses of faces and very short clips of voices. A different mother, a different father, a different brother.
Just the one brother. She looked like him, somewhat. As similar as regular siblings could look, anyway.
There were flashes of them playing together, of happy moments together as a family, just the four of them. But Mel had never known them. At least not enough to have any concrete memories of them, and it wasn’t likely that she ever would.
Mel crawled back onto the lounge chair in her balcony oasis, eyes red and puffy as she continued to work through what just happened. She thought of the melody and the emotions it seemed to invoke, and of the family that she knew about but never truly knew. Her thoughts meandered to the parents that chose to make her a part of their family, to the brothers that have fully loved her from the moment they met her, and to her life now, apart from them.
She was incredibly fortunate, she knew that. It was one of the reasons why she was always so cheerful. She expressed her gratitude all the time, and tried to live in such a way that she hoped would make her family proud of her. She didn’t have it in her to focus on all the negatives in her past out of fear that she would never come out of it.
But for now, just for the rest of that day, she thought she might. As she lay back and hugged a pillow tight to her chest, she thought, “I can let myself think about that stuff. Just for today.”
822 (gdocs)
