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 Posted: Sun May 28, 2023 4:06 pm
She didn't really want to face Fulgurite. There was no way he was still gonna like her after this. This was big. This was bad. This was, like, Betrayal with a capital B. It might have still helped the world as a whole, she didn't know if it made her a bad person or not, since some of the stuff that they'd found in the bank had been messed up. There'd been a youmafying device in there, and a bunch of draining stuff on top of whatever financial control stuff was going on that Nectaris didn't really understand. But it was bad for Fulgurite. Like, unforgivably bad, and since he was obviously not gonna love her anymore, she didn't wanna have to deal with that face to face. It would be easier to just shove that all away, pretend he still liked her, and if he purified in the aftermath, then maybe he'd lose his memories and try again. Only, ghosting wasn't a good person thing to do. You were supposed to like, take responsibility and stuff. In their meeting spot in the gardens, Nikki gave an audible sigh. Quote: If you wanna talk about it, I'm here at the place She sent it off, on a boring yellow sticky note she'd gotten from Luke, 'cause the cute ones seemed kind of flippant considering the situation. Then she internally screamed while she flopped down into the grass, and she laid there for a long time looking at the summer stars through some willow leaves.
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 4:31 am
Did he want to talk about it? Matt hadn't really eaten in days. The nausea was in some ways all-consuming; after he had lost his lunch the first two times, trying to refill his still queasy stomach didn't feel worth it. A lot of things didn't; what did he do, what did he explain, how did he explain? What did he say to his babe? What would he say to Orah, to Dad? What did he say to what he was certain was the source of Order knowing too much? But could he even blame her for that? Should he have even said anything? He sure did protect her from the bank, which was his goal of bringing it up in the first place, but at what cost? What ******** cost-- To himself? The botanical gardens weren't the balm they normally were with the surrounding circumstances. Even the deep breath he took when he normally teleported in was accompanied with an odd background of queasiness that left him feeling unstable. The bright aura didn't necessarily help. With the amount of times Fulgurite had purposefully sought those out, they no longer felt as severe, but-- He breathed and swallowed it down. "Nikki?"
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 5:37 am
Oh. He'd shown up. Nikki didn't know if she'd been expecting that. She also didn't know if it was better or worse this way than if he'd decided to play the ghost card instead. She did know that the second the Chaos aura popped up, it felt like there were a million knives just under the surface of her skin. She smiled anyway, 'cause that was who she was. She was Nikki, he was all smiles and butterflies, so she smiled at Fulgurite when she saw his silhouette around a crepe myrtle. It was a weak attempt. Her eyes were still a hundred percent dead inside. "Hi," she said, "I'm here." She bit her cheeks before she could say anything else. Anything else she said at this point was just gonna be a weak excuse and she respected Fulgurite too much for that.
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 6:06 am
Should he have just ghosted? Was he ready for this conversation and the realities of it? Should he just ghost everyone? Would it be better this way than telling anyone the truth? He doubted his babe of ice would appreciate how much his loose lips upset the balance-- But would his father be able to stand that after what happened with Orah? Would it get worse when he realized the disappearance was not ultimately temporary like hers was? Were the nerves even necessary? Could he just keep his head down and act like an obedient little agent boy? "Figured you'd be." The note kinda said she would be -- but that felt like a pathetic attempt to fill the heavy silence, and it was. Of course she would be. What the ******** did he mean that he figured; this meeting had been spontaneous but it had been arranged. Just not with enough time to gather his thoughts and to take some Dramamine or some other anti-nausea bullshit... He shook out his shoulders. Where did he start? Should he? "Did you intend for that?" And there it was, anyway.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 6:20 am
Nikki took a shaky breath. "No," she said. There wasn't a good way to talk about any of this. The knives in her skin were kinda digging into her lungs, now. but she'd tell him the truth. She'd talk. She'd offered him that much. "I was just telling my patrol partner," her acquaintance? Her friend? Her sister? Whatever, it didn't matter right now. "Not to invest there, because of, you know, the Negaverse thing. I didn't think much about it, afterwards, but like, I guess it kind of exploded from there."
Literally. Literally exploded. Her face fell. "When I got there, it was already burning." She couldn't hold onto the smile now. "What about you? Are you okay?" He didn't look okay, but he looked alive, which was good because she was pretty sure that the worst case scenario here involved him getting executed or turned into a youma or something. "Do they know? Are you in trouble?"
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 6:51 am
He didn't quite know if it was a relief that she didn't intend for this or somehow even worse. With the news that the Negaverse was involved in something so heavy, acting on it would have made sense and been logical. It not being intentional pointed to this being out of anyone's control to some degree -- was that worse? Was that better? Did it still ultimately fall on her shoulders because she was the one who had told her patrol partner, who clearly found it understandably worthy of telling someone else? Did it fall away because she was trying to help someone else out, too, and it wasn't necessarily her secret to hide? It fell to him, who couldn't keep his ******** mouth shut to even save his life around the people he-- "Yeah, exploded. Maybe set ablaze is a better term." He definitely didn't look good, but he was definitely on his own two feet and relatively physically uninjured. It was, at least, a starting point, even if it was a shitty one. A shitty one he wished he could discard. "Don't know if they know yet, honestly, but," he was being derelict on his duties anyway. Maybe Faustite nearly dying and then going to his general-sovereign status had been a decent distraction, but he still hadn't provided any updates on that summer operation, and he had always been ... distant and sardonic. He had to be a point of suspicion. Almost everyone on his team would have to be considering they were the first to know, sure, but he could eliminate a few people off the bat. Plus, "Albite's already accused me once. And he wasn't wrong, really." And just about killed him with tears in his eyes. "The team members are gonna be the first people with the most knowledge they could have handed over, and I'm already a known issue. It's only so long before the connections are made, I think." Would this put Cryolite in danger, too, for being so close to him? What had he done?
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 7:29 am
"Exploded and set ablaze," said Nectaris, flatly. There had been bombs. There had been fire. It wasn't an either-or kind of situtation. Her eyes were glued to Fulgurite's face, and she didn't understand how he wasn't mad even as he talked about how people were suspecting him, how it was only a matter of time before his life started falling apart. He wasn't yelling, which was kinda how things usually went in this kind of situation. Not with the Bells, but- On top of that, he was still talking to her. Still talking about her about important stuff, still talking to her with tears in his eyes. Her heart broke to see him like that, even more than it had over the last couple of days of assuming the worst and working herself up. Maybe what she was supposed to be giving him space right now but she couldn't help it. She stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing. "Yeah," she agreed, "It's not a good situation." She pressed her cheek against his arm, soaking in the warmth for her own comfort and hoping, hoping that this wasn't going to be the last time that she was going to be able to be this close to him. "I'll do everything I can to help keep you safe, okay?" He knew she'd stood up to Albite, knew she'd stand up to the rest of them, too. "If you want," she added, softly, though it broke her heart to say it. "And-" she took a breath, took responsibility, "I'm sorry. For, uh, my part in making this worse for you. Like, really really sorry. I should have been more careful."
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 1:23 pm
Right, it was an all of the above scenario -- That didn't really make it any better. He knew Jadarite. He knew Borax, especially -- that ******** would be happy to kill him personally if he knew. And honestly, perhaps he deserved it. Couldn't keep a secret to save his life. Couldn't do anything right to save his life. Couldn't even keep doing the things that he felt he was doing right because he had to lead to his own downfall in the process-- Oh, she was hugging him. It registered a bit more dully than it might have otherwise, but that didn't mean he moved to stop her. He let her continue, some of the knots in his muscles and his stomach easing slightly. Slightly. Not enough to stop his eyes from welling up more, especially when she apologized, especially when she said she should have been more careful-- "I should have been too right? There's so much s**t this not so underground organisation does that I haven't ******** talked about at all. It costs nothing to be quiet, right?" Was he complaining about himself, or was he trying to convince himself that was the truth? He was choked up, either way, and his words were becoming less coherent. "What do I tell my sister? My father?" He swallowed air. "My Cryolite?" Would he even still be his after this? Would anything still be his after this? Would-- Fulgurite crumbled and stopped talking.
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 3:22 pm
Nectaris's heart was fluttering against her chest, against Fulgurite's. He wasn't pushing her away, and she thought that she could almost feel some of his tension softening as she leaned close to him, the way it had before. She also wasn't on the list of people who he was talking about, who he was worried about. She knew from all the times he'd talked before that those were the people that he was afraid to lose. She bit her cheeks again. He was the one who was freaking out. This wasn't about her. "I'm not gonna try to tell you what to say," she told him, trying to sound soft. She wished Pendour was here. She'd know what to do. "I'm not gonna try to tell you what to do, either. Not right now. If you don't wanna say anything, if you just wanna stay on the path you're on, uh," The tears came to her own eyes, because she hated to see how the Negaverse made him suffer, hated to see how much worse things when he'd been telling her things because he'd been trying to protect her."I might be able to make it work. I'd have to kill Albite," and this was said steel-faced, dead serious, "But I might be able to take the pressure off of you." He needed to escape. He needed to purify, but he wouldn't and she knew it, so she was just going to have to do what she needed to do to save his life.
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 4:26 pm
She was right, he didn't want to say anything. Not because he wanted to stay quiet, but because he couldn't think of anything to say, because he couldn't think of anything to say around the fact that he felt like he was choking and strangling himself to death, and perhaps he had in some way, he had seen how the negaverse had worked over his decade in their service. His decade too long. But it was interesting that she offered to let him stay on the path he was on, and to try and resolve things from her side so he didn't have to flee. He appreciated it in some ways, and it was an interesting change from her usual approach, the one where she was encouraging him to purify almost every time they talked. To think that you would do that for him, especially all things considered, was a bit mind-blowing and took him aback even if he didn't necessarily change his expression. It was hard to between the tears anyway. But he didn't want her to get herself killed either-- "If you did kill Albite, all you'd do is get yourself baked by a general-sovereign on fire." He swallowed, hard. "Don't recommend that." Not only did he not recommend that, he didn't want it. The guilt of her doing that, and leading to that kind of result, would eat him alive. "I know there's only one decent option in front of me, especially because the Negaverse will find out. They will probably even find out if I leave." Gods. Maybe he was just being too paranoid, maybe he had covered his tracks better than he thought, maybe everything was too chaotic in that whole mess to point at any one person, but those were comforting balms over the reality. "I hope they don't go after Cryolite."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 5:44 pm
"Yeah, leaving is your best bet," agreed Nectaris, doing her best to make sure that for all the sobs, Fulgurite was still supported in her arms. It had seemed wrong to bring it up at a moment like this, but since he'd mentioned it, she wasn't going to deny it. He didn't belong in the Negaverse, and the Negaverse didn't have any tolerance for people who didn't belong. "But leaving's been your best bet, and you haven't wanted to leave, so I wanted to let you know that I'll do what I can to save you, no matter what that looks like." Right now that meant being the strong one, even though she was crying to, even though she was pretty sure her pulse was skyrocketing to mars. She'd been thinking so much about Fulgurite dumping her that she hadn't thought about what might happen if he died, but now that possibility was staring her in the face. She pressed her lips together, tried to meet Fulgurite's eyes. "Cryolite, too. I don't think they'll go after him, nobody blamed the people I was close to when I went traitor, but, like, if they do?" She shifted one hand to reach for his hand, and squeeze it, "We'll save him, too."
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 6:33 pm
She wasn't going to deny it, but it still felt wrong to be reminded at this time, and he might have grimaced for it, might have defensively said, "If I had left when you were for suggesting it, I would have never fallen in love with Cryolite. We would have never gotten the time to bond like we did." Did that apply to him and Nectaris too? Part of why they managed to magnetize to each other was because he remembered what they were, the fact that they had been on the same team before, that they had been friends before, and she was happy to continue that! If he had purified then, would he have even really remembered it? Would they just have been two people with no memories trying to grasp at something they might have possibly had? Maybe hindsight was 20/20, but maybe it wasn't so easy either. This wasn't time to ruminate. "It's true, I was left alone when you left and I was one of your teammates... I guess I'm just paranoid. We're really close, I think everyone on the team knows that. Will what I do lead to him being questioned for the same actions?" He fidgeted, swallowing down the nausea, and swallowing down some of the salt from the tears that wouldn't leave his face-- She would be willing to dedicate the time to getting him out too? He was touched by that, honestly. "He might be harder to convince than even me. He likes stability. He's a creature of comfort -- comfort in what happens to him, although he does like creature comforts too." Creature comforts they would not be able to share in as much anymore, would they? "And he's really close with Albite. Albite brought him in."
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 7:43 pm
"I mean, maybe," said Nectaris, and she couldn't keep the defensiveness out of her own voice. She couldn't keep the jealousy out of her head. Maybe it wouldn't have been quite the perfect storm with him and Cryolite, but maybe it would've worked out anyway. She was pretty sure these star-crossed romance situations weren't as rare as people thought, and Cryolite hadn't had problems with her, so she didn't see why he'd have had problems with an Order version of Fulgurite. Maybe it wouldn't have worked out, but he would've found someone on the Order side who he clicked with just as much, and it would've been another cute story. The thing was, even if neither of those things had happened, it wasn't like Fulgurite would have been sad and alone. He'd have had her. Which, like, she understood that she was ace, and she was an airhead, and she wasn't gonna be enough for something, but she still didn't think it would've been some kind of tragic ending for Fulgurite if it had ended up that she'd been the one that he'd been able to actually date instead of just sneaking kisses in the park, if she'd been the one that he got to think about marrying instead of the one who he had to worry about the repercussions of seeing. And, like, maybe that made her jealous and weird and a bad person and a bad partner, especially because she liked Cryolite and she liked the way that he made Fulgurite happy. She couldn't help the way thinking about it made her stomach twist and her heart squeeze, though. Focus, she told herself. Keep Fulgurite alive.That meant keeping him reassured about Cryolite. "I mean, if Albite gets weird about Cryo, my offer's still on the table," she said, trying to sound a little more lighthearted, a little bit more like herself and not like someone who was trying way to hard not to get upset. It didn't really work. "But even if they ask him about stuff, he should be able to answer them honestly. It wasn't him. He didn't know." A second passed, and she added, "And if he wants to come with you, I've got a lot of comfort stuff. Teddy bears and whatever."
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Posted: Sat Jun 17, 2023 9:16 pm
Maybe? He was honestly certain of it. If there had not been the moment where he had been invited back to his apartment after the blight, they would not have ever gotten into that conversation over wine, the conversation that seemed to last the entire night, when they got unusually personal for both of them and realized that they actually really liked each other's company. It broke through the walls they tended to put up with other people: for Matt, the walls he tend to put up with other people in the Negaverse, for Syrus, the walls he put up for everyone. But perhaps he was missing the reason why she said that. And perhaps he had never explained the circumstances between the reason why they had actually ended up getting together. Maybe it would do to explain it, if someone else knew, maybe they could fill in the blanks. She might have to do that for him in a lot of aspects. He's supposed he did the same for her for a while. "Heh, that's the dream, right? At least the people I love would be with me, not split apart by side." That was something he wished he had now honestly, but it seemed that just wasn't in the cards for the moment. If it was ever. He knew Syrus. Syrus loved his stability. But by the same token, he wasn't sure he liked all the fighting either. Focus, Matt. "An honest answer might help keep him safe, at least." And maybe out of his reach forever, just like his family would be. His heart was breaking into a million pieces and he didn't know what to do about it. "But I mean, my statement still applies too. If you go after Albite and succeed, all you're going to do is get roasted by a general-sovereign. ******** guess at least I have time to write my last will and testament as you will." What was the right approach? Should he tell his family? Or should he just fake his own death?
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Codebreaking Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Jun 18, 2023 6:02 am
She tried to suck in a breath, tried to let it all go. That was what people said, right? You breathed and things were fine, and you didn't end up spouting unhelpful things at your- At your whatever Fulgurite was to her now? The feelings didn't leave, but at least she was able to focus on what he was saying. "It's okay to have dreams," she told him. "It's okay to work towards them, and okay. I won't kill Albite unless I have to. Don't really wanna get fried." She didn't wanna get stabbed, or lassoed, or to deal with whatever other tricks the team had up their sleeves. She didn't wanna die, and for all of her weird feelings about Albite she wasn't actually sure how she felt about bashing his head with the moon staff until the light left his eyes. That sounded kinda terrible, actually. "Are you going to tell your family?" she asked him. "If you still haven't found any evidence that they're in the Negaverse, it's probably okay. If it's not, then we'll go from t here." She wasn't even gonna offer to kill his family. That seemed like a little much, but there had to be ways to protect him without it coming to that. She took another breath, and that one didn't help at all, and she was asking, "You keep talking about them, about Cryo, but what about us? Are we-" She pulled away a little bit, all of the fear back in her own eyes, all of the tears now overflowing from her eyes and streaming down her face.
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