|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
 Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 2:06 pm
(1/10)
In the end, it probably was a good thing that Elsheba didn't invite Ujiri along with her on her trip to Belrea. At the time, it had seemed logical; he was a vibrant young thing, inexplicably interested in a woman much older than him, and an impromptu trip across the world seemed like a recipe for disaster.
But in all the hugeness of the world, after all the years that had trickled past, the very last thing Elsheba had ever expected was to step off the airship, and have her name called by a man who, by all means, should have been a stranger. She was in this place to see her sister, but the voice that called was male - so she turned towards it, squinting in confusion, only to freeze at the sight of someone she'd never seen before, at least not like this.
No, the last time she'd seen this person he'd been a child, still small enough to hug her leg and not even reach her hips. She stared, unabashed, mouth fallen unattractively open.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 2:11 pm
(1/10)
With his daughter raising her children here in Belrea, it wasn't unusual for Nimueh and his husband to visit. It didn't happen often, maybe only once every few years, but they did their best to visit as often as they could, and now that their youngest were older it was easier. But their visit was drawing to a close, and on this day Nimueh volunteered to head to the station to get their tickets home, while Callum awkwardly dealt with their newest grandchildren. Nim hadn't been able to puzzle out why his husband seemed on edge around their granddaughter Yona, but he'd ask him once they were somewhere private again where they weren't at risk of being overheard.
... Imagine his surprise when someone stepped off the ship, a visage that sent him back decades to when he was small, alone and scared. Every time Nimueh imagined seeing this person again, he imagined rage, anger, or hurt overwhelming him.
Instead? He felt a surge of longing and a near desperation for her to notice him. "M-- Elsheba?" He called. And she turned to look at him, and seemed to freeze. They both froze, actually, just... staring at one another while the world around them moved, with crowds of people and--
"It IS Elsheba, isn't it? It's -- I'm... tea? Do you want tea?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 2:32 pm
(2/10)
That was- he... "Tea?" She blurted out, stunned as she stepped closer. This was her son (could she still call him that?), reunited with her after... a long, long time, and he was asking about tea? She wanted to cry, or to reach out and shake him, so she settled for letting out a watery laugh as she drew closer to him, looking at him. He was... tall. Not as tall as her, but close. He'd clearly inherited the Alkidike height from his biological mother. His eyes were bright and golden, dark blue hair ... undreaded.
She found herself reaching out as if to touch it, mournful, but withdrew her hand when she caught herself. "Tea. Yes, that sounds - yes. Lead the way, Nimueh, I'll follow." She said, softly, voice somber as she looked at him, all grown up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 2:44 pm
(2/10)
It was her. She came closer, and though she was older, she was still her. It was... strange, to look at her like this - almost eye to eye, instead of peering up at her massive form from the perspective of a child. The noise she made as she came closer was so broken and sad that it... hurt, but it also assuaged years of wondering what she truly felt.
He'd been a burden to her, growing up. He knew that - she'd been almost painfully clear how conflicted and embarrassed, she was, raising him in a place that stared down at him for existing. But she still loved him and cared for him like a mother should have, enough so that she sent him away when things got risky.
They never reunited. He... had returned to Aisha, a few times, but not sought her out, especially not after being rejected from the tree, refused Aisha's blessing.
Bitterness ate at him, which only sharpened when she seemed to notice his hair. He wanted to clench his jaw and stare at her, in challenge, but his heart still hammered with longing and he didn't want to chase her off - not so soon, anyway.
She agreed to tea, and he nodded, smiling weakly, motioning for her to follow.
He found them a nice cafe to eat at, close to the airdock so she wouldn't get lost, and due to their size he picked a nice outdoor table on a secluded little garden patio behind the cafe, since they wouldn't fit into the chairs inside.
"I ... can't believe I'd run into you here. What are you - why are you in Belrea?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 2:57 pm
(3/10)
This place, Belrea, was unlike anything Elsheba had ever seen, and yet it was difficult to take it all in when she couldn't tug her eyes away from Nimueh. He, meanwhile, didn't give it a second glance, which spoke of a certain familiarity with this place; that the wonders of a place that could make boats fly was hardly inspiring of awe in his eyes. When they finally sat, she continued to drink him in, only to start a bit when he finally spoke to her again.
"I'm... ah. Looking for Lumikani." She said, a bit awkwardly. After all... while Nimueh and Lumikani were around the same age and had shared a childhood together (although she was a few years older than him), she had also run away to join the Extremists - a group of people who, back then, had wanted to separate the Alkidike from hybrids, like Nimueh.
"But... what about you? Belrea? Do you... live here too? It's been so long, Nimueh, I - I thought... I thought after all this time, if you hadn't come back, then you must be..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 3:08 pm
(3/10)
...Lumi? Nimueh forced his face to stay blank, even though he wanted to flinch at the name. They'd not been... super close, but Lumikani had been a good aunt to him, looking out for him and playing with him. That she turned out to be an extremist... he hadn't understood what that meant, as a child, although he'd heard Elsheba talking about it back then. Now, over the years, he knew better.
Was it wrong, that he felt somewhat vindicated to hear that Elsheba was just as estranged from her as she was from him? Maybe, but he'd hold that darker feeling close as a secret.
Before he could answer, a cute lightning server bustled up to them, asking for their orders, and Nim randomly pointed to the menu, not caring what he got.
Once the server left, he clasped his hands together on top of the table, forcing himself to sit straight and not hunch over. "I went back, once or twice. It... wasn't home. Not anymore. I grew up in Zena, with a couple who adopted me." It was more information than she'd asked for, but he felt it was fair to say it anyway.
"... I'm here to visit my daughter, and her youngest children. It's my and my... husband's first time seeing them."
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 3:29 pm
(4/10)
Conversely, Nimueh fighting so hard to seem unaffected by hearing Lumikani's name sort of ... didn't work. The careful blankness only made it clear how unwelcome he found that topic, so Elsheba hastily noted not to bring it up again. She had no idea what to order so deferred to the waitress, then leaned forward towards him, eagerly listening.
It wasn't home. He grew up in Zena- oh. Oh, so he hadn't come back because...
And before she could even respond, he was dropping MORE news on her. He was married. With children. ... Grandchildren, even. It should have been expected, really, after how much time had passed, but she still couldn't fathom it.
"I thought you were dead. It's been so long - I... I know you found another home, better parents, but I-" She felt frustrated tears bubbling up, and had to force herself to be quiet for a moment so she didn't do something as pathetic as whine at him.
"I couldn't find you in Sauti, after everything, and he was gone too and-- and I... I'm happy, Nimueh. I'm happy that you're alive, and found a good home, and have a family, I'm so happy-, but..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 3:42 pm
(4/10)
Was she really... did she-- ok, no. That anger that Nim had always assumed would come, which had been dulled and hidden away behind his joy at seeing her again, finally flared to life. Ah, there it was. He stared at her, wide-eyed for a moment, and thankfully she took his stunned silence as the warning it was and quickly backtracked.
That... did a better job at settling him than he'd have thought. It was enraging, thinking she was about to try and guilt-trip him over choosing to live with his Zenan adopted parents. But she quickly scrabbled to correct herself, and so he took a moment to breath and settle down the spike of defensiveness he'd felt from it.
"I'm sorry." He said, honestly, once he'd calmed enough. "... I really don't know what happened to Him, after everything. I grew up happy, and by the time I returned to Jauhar I just..." He weighed his words, thinking.
"... I'll always appreciate what you did. I would've died, as a baby, if it wasn't for you. But you- gods, can you blame me for feeling like you'd be happier without me? I was such a crutch to you, you didn't even like to take me to markets, I- I felt you were better off. So I didn't want to just darken your doorstep again after all those years."
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 4:06 pm
(5/10)
How did one navigate a conversation like this, with someone who had been a child the last time you saw them? Elsheba had never gotten the chance to know Nimueh as an adult, not before this, and seeing real anger flash in his eyes was startling.
Back then, Elsheba probably would have gotten defensive and angry over his words. There was still a jolt of it, when she realized what he said. But how could she blame him for this? These were the hard truths she'd been kicking herself over for most of her life, the sorrow that she'd thought he was dead and had been such a bad parent to him all that time.
She closed her eyes and hung her head, hand pressed against her forehead. It hurt, to hear him say those words, it hurt so much - but it felt healing, too. Because he was alive to say them to her.
"I can't blame you, no." She murmured, finally looking at him again, smiling. "I wish you'd come, but I ... I understand why you didn't. I'm happy to see you, Nimueh. I'm just happy you're here." She wanted, so badly, to reach out and take his hand, to touch him. "I wasn't a good mother to you, I know that now. But I'll always see you as my boy, no matter what. I know I can't take any of the credit for what a fine person you grew into, but I... I'm just happy I have the chance to see it. I wasn't happier without you, I always thought of you and I... I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I just..."
She let out a sigh and leaned back in her seat. "I did wrong by you, and I'm so, so sorry I wasn't the person you needed, back then."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 4:16 pm
(5/10)
Physically, it was like watching Elsheba wilt. She sank down on the table, and Nimueh could only watch her as she pulled herself back together with valiant efficiency. The mother he'd known had been dismissive and impatient, and while he'd never talked back to her, or said anything like this to her in his life - he'd always suspected she'd balk or snarl or embrace all of that Alkidike righteous fury if he was to call her out on what she put him through as a child.
She didn't. She wasn't even defeated, or giving a meek 'I'm sorry'. She was just... happy.
And she still saw him as ... hers? She thought he was--
Oh. That was a lot of emotions, all at once, and Nimueh thought he was better at handling these things, after being a father, but - but he felt stunned into silence once more, unsure what to say. Any child would want their parent to be proud of them, but he'd told himself, fiercely, for decades that he didn't see her as his mother, not now.
He shouldn't feel so happy that she thought he grew up so well, or so relieved that she wasn't angry with him for staying away.
It's amazing, what a sincere apology will do for so many things.
"Mom, I-" He started, only to cut himself off.
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 5:48 pm
(6/10)
Elsheba perked up at that, and before she could stop herself she reached across the table to put her hand over his, beaming. "Still see me as your mother? In some small way?" She squeezed his hand, grateful that this wasn't all some... beautiful dream, and instead she was really here. Sitting with Nimueh.
He'd grown so much since back then. "Your hair... you took out your dreads. But you have a husband, and children, did Aisha..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 5:52 pm
(6/10)
Should it feel wrong, to so easily call her 'Mom' again after so long? He had two loving mothers back in Zena, was it fair to just give that title away again, especially to someone who had shaped his life in so many negative ways? Did he owe Elsheba forgiveness? Was it right?
He didn't know, but Nimueh couldn't argue that, conflicted though he was, he was... happy to see her so excited to be called that.
Nimueh had imagined, sometimes, that she hadn't really thought much of that little boy she'd had for only a few years, and even if she did perhaps he was like a brother to her, or a tiny house guest. But he'd always remember being so little, and looking up to her so much...
Talking about his dreads, again, was a touchy subject, but she didn't seem disapproving, just sad about it. "No." He said, bitterness swelling in his breast again, but this time not at Elsheba. "Aisha didn't see me as Alkidike, not anymore. So I took them out. Some of my children are my husband's, some are mine, but all with surrogate mothers. And you... you never-- do you?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 7:31 pm
(7/10)
Oh... well. It hurt to hear that he'd turned his back on the Aishan culture, though it stunned her to think that he'd have been denied access to the tree. Aisha had seen for him to be born, why would she... no. No, it wasn't Elsheba's place to question Aisha. Elsheba wasn't the girl, anymore, who thought Nimueh's parents deserved death for their transgressions.
"Love will find a way, I've heard." She said, simply, squeezing his hand again. He hadn't pulled away from her, so she took what contact she could get from her long lost boy.
The last thing she expected though was for him to ask about her. She looked at him, surprised, then gave a shake of her head, huffing out a laugh. "Maybe some day, but- no. I never did go to Aisha myself. So... you have a husband? Hm? Tell me all about him."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 7:55 pm
(7/10)
Nim looked down at her hand on his, and after a moment he turned it so he could give it a tiny squeeze back. Then, a little awkwardly, he slipped it away from hers. Nothing against her, he just - er. It was still a bit strange, seeing her again. He wasn't quite sure he was up to touching.
The conversation felt it had been going on for a long time, but when the waitress finally returned with their tea he realized it probably had only been a few minutes. He winced and sipped at his tea, considering what she'd said. She'd never married? Or... had children? He wondered - but... he didn't really know how he felt about it. Maybe she just never found that person, or... maybe it was because of him?
He wouldn't presume, but over the course of the conversation he'd come to think that maybe... maybe yes. Maybe she HAD felt his loss that keenly.
"... Yes. Callum. He's a performer - sword dancing - we traveled a lot, all throughout Tendaji, and--" He continued to tell her about his husband, sipping at his tea. He kept it brief. No point in mentioning he was also a hybrid, that he was older than him, or any other details she didn't need to know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
scarlett arbuckle Vice Captain
|
Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 7:58 pm
(8/10)
Elsheba's eyebrows shot up at that, a disbelieving smile on her lips. "Sword dancing?" She echoed, warmly, pulling her hand back as well when he let go. It was a loss, but it was ok. She sipped at her own tea, trying not to make a face - it was far too sweet for her tastes.
He spoke so fondly of his husband, and then he began to talk more about his children. That his older two were twins, and both had children of their own now - that his daughter lived in Belrea, but was thinking of moving back to the continent with her family. That he had younger children, too, who were traveling on their own these days.
It was... a lot, to hear a flurry of names and professions of people she'd never known existed, but once he got started it was like he couldn't stop, and she just watched him, heart warm and ... tentatively happy to hear him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
