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 Posted: Mon May 08, 2023 8:50 pm
Woke up this mornin'...
Yeah!
You got yourself a gun!
The entrance ramp lifts up as the blood red 1966 Impala pulls into the arena to deafening roars. The crowd here at Backlash knows who's in that car. The door opens and out steps the Snypa Rifle, who was victorious against Cartwright in their Dog Collar Taipei Deathmatch. Snypa's still wearing the results of that match despite being in street clothes. Instead of face paint, he's wearing sunglasses and a large bandage on his forehead that's visible despite his dreadlocks covering most of his face. One of his arms is covered in bandages and he has a visible limp as he walks down the aisle to a hero's welcome. He walks up the stairs and into the ring, being given a microphone. This crowd is electric, as they know it was the Hardcore Highlight Reel's final match. Once the audience quiets down, Snypa then elects to speak.
"Thanks, y'all. I really appreciate that. Look, I'm not one for long, drawn out goodbyes, but I gotta say, I'm feeling the love here. We've been through the highs of my careers, the championship victories and beating some humility into a certain woman-beating R&B singer... and y'all have been with me through my lowest points, such as being forced into retirement by the same stupid son of a b***h whose a** got handed to him at WrestleMania!"
The fans boo at the mention of 2019, but cheer when the Extreme Sage speaks of the bloody affair that took place at the Showcase of the Immortals.
"I just wanna thank y'all for making me the man I've become. I couldn't have had the career I've had without y'all in my corner. Y'all have shown me love many times over and I love y'all dearly. It's a shame that my time between these ropes is finally up, but I'm just grateful to all of you that I can go out on my terms."
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2023 5:27 pm
Cigaro by System Of A Down hits the arena, causing the fans to boo as Cartwright makes his grand entrance.
He is wearing a fancy suit which shows how important he is.
The Boss is covered in plasters over the visible areas of his skin, since he was last seen being dropped on his head through a sheet of glass at Wrestlemania.
♫My c**k is much bigger than yours,
My c**k can walk right through the door
With a feeling so pure..
It's got you screaming back for more.
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGAR
Cool, in denial
We're the cruel regulators smoking
CIGARO CIGARO CIGAR♫
JR: "Who invited Cartwright out here during Snypa's career celebration?!"
King: "It's The Boss and he can do whatever he likes, he's running the show!"
Cartwright stands at the arena entrance, where he barks at a stage hand to give him a microphone.
Cartwright looks angry as he points towards his enemy.
Cartwright: "No, no, no!
I'm cutting this segment off right now!"
Crowd: "YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK!"
Cartwright: "We have heard just about enough about the Snypa Rifle!
I don't know why you think you can walk out here right now!
The World Wrestling Federation Guild is not a retirement home!
If people want to hear from you now, they can go on that Twatter website, the one with the bird logo!
Or you can send the fans a newsletter, maybe a text or a fax!"
Cartwright knows all the modern technology.
Cartwright: "Allow me to be the first to say to you Snypa....
....goodbye and good riddance!
I'm going to be so happy when I never have to see that wretched face of yours ever again!
I'm going to be here in the WWFG having the time of my life, while you sit on your sofa at home getting older and fatter!"
JR: "This is so rude!
Let Snypa have his final moment Cartwright, you jackass!"
King: "Say that a bit louder JR and you're going to be retired too!"
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2023 7:36 pm
"Oh, Cartwright," Snypa says. "You aren't still bitter that I handed you your a** at WrestleMania, are you? I mean, I'd expect you to be out here congratulating me for doing what I said I would: knocking you down a few pegs."
Fans cheer, fondling remembering the ending of their match.
"You might wanna clean the rest of that broken glass out of your ears, because 15,000 people here are telling you what they think of you."
"a*****e! a*****e! a*****e!"
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Posted: Thu May 11, 2023 11:36 pm
While the crowd chanted 'a*****e' to Cartwright, the Titantron started to fizz and distort as 'Mastermind' by Mindless Self Indulgence played
I am the mastermind
Leaving you all behind
And that aint no ******** lie
I am the mastermind
It's just a problem of mine
It's like columbine
Co-lum-bine
Your time has come
Kiss it all good-bye
Your time has come
Kiss it all good-bye
Whats that ruckus
Whats that ruckus
Whats that ruckus
Coming through the night
Thats right
Thats right
Thats right
This Message cannot be denied
The crowd wondered who was coming out, as it was music no one used... But then the music shifted to a different song I...Wanna play God...
I wanna rule it all...
I want to rule it all...
With you...
Dead starlight bleeds down on the Devil's nitrate
All the nerves of the patients bathe in shock and shame
Cause I'm the trigger that'll start this game
And the strike of the night will trash the skyline
And darken the marks I've put in your skin
'Cause I want to play God
With you
I want to rule it all
Rule youThe crowd roared, as the distorted tron became a clock, and they knew... The longest reigning WWFG World, IC and Tag Champ was here... After years... And sure enough, from the curtain, the legendary God of Time, Chrono Clepsydra walked out, in casual clothes Mic in hand, the lyrics faded and the crowd was roaring
WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!Taking the mic to his lips... " First things first, Snypa...
For everything you've done inside and outside of that ring, putting your body on the line, beating up abusers, and dishing out insane 'justice' to those who deserve it...
Thank you.
And You know, a couple of months ago... I challenged the Dragon to a match, nothing special. You'd 'think' it wasn't a big deal right?
But let me tell you behind the scenes...
You thought I'd shot the poor b*****d's mom or something.
Look listen, I apologize if I struck a nerve by challenging you to a match.
So if you wanna go '******** this', '******** that' or '******** that guy' to your friends, cool.
Just remember it was a respectful challenge. if you're retired? Hey, that's cool.
I get it. " Chrono merely shrugged and then adverted his attention to Cartwright " So... You didn't let Joey Styles call Backlash? Look Mania I get... But Backlash?
But You keep JR and King on commentary? The same King that set women's wrestling back for decades?
The same JR that barely gets the name of wrestlers right? All due respect gentlemen...
But you're not even the top 5 announce team of all time, not even close.
It's just... Disappointing and sad... But I get it.
The same guy that's the butt of everyone's jokes, the same guy that hired, fired, and then re-hired Mister... Missus Sex.
The same guy that has his little tiny circle community of buddies that manipulate him.
Hey, I get it... Brain damage from all the Cartwright Crashes you used to do?
Those little top rope leg drops? Getting brain damage because your head's up your own a**. " The crowd roared, yelling profanities at Cartwright 's**t HEAD! s**t HEAD!'" Look guys, I didn't mean to rain on your farewell moment Snypa, like I said... Thank you man. Absolute legend, an absolute class act.
And well Cart? It's too easy to pick on you.
I didn't even come out here to address that unanswered challenge.
Because I get it. We're not going to address or promote that 'other event' that's going to happen... Soon.
Somewhere where 'all' three of us have history.
I'll leave you with this, Cartwright.
Something... Someone you've overlooked will humble you, and when that day comes.
Snypa? I hope you have a nice bowl of popcorn waiting because it'll be quite the show.
So to Snypa, Thank you.
To Cartwright... ******** you
To the WWFG fans? Bye... For now. " Chrono gave a bow to the crowd, and walked to the back.
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 7:20 am
As the God of Time prepares to leave, Snypa stops him.
"Hey, Time Man! I appreciate the kind words and all, but I know you ain't leavin' without telling these people what we managed to pull off. Sure, they remember when we had our first foray into acting, but are you really gonna leave without telling the world that we bought the Power Rangers franchise from Hasbro?"
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 7:37 am
Hearing those words, Chrono stopped and tapped the mic to his head.
His back still turned to the camera.
"Well that was a bombshell I wasn't going to drop on them, I mean once you get the crowd to call Cartwright a Shithead and an a*****e...
I was, however... Going to wait until we had a few episodes in the can before we started to talk about 'that'...
Besides, this is 'your' moment, sorry some s**t head had to ruin it. "
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 10:40 am
Snypa nods in agreement that this is his moment before he resumes speaking.
"True, but I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. Fans would've eventually found out. Now, you say that you've been petitioning for a match with my mentor... I don't hold any sway with my sensei, but I'd recommend asking him up close. You'll find that you'll get a lot further and a warmer response if you approach him in person and simply ask. Closed mouths don't get fed, as they say."
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2023 1:27 pm
Merely chuckling
" There wasn't a petition, merely a challenge. I'm not pining for it.
It's all good, no. I'm not about that match anymore. Same with another individual of royalty.
It'll always be that question of... What if? That lingers in people's minds.
Besides, that might be true about closed mouths... But people with broken jaws can eat through a straw.
... Or rather suck... Through a straw. Like our pal Cartwright here.
Knows all about sucking don't you pal?"
To which almost on cue, the crowd said
CARTWRIGHT SUCKS
while another portion of the crowd retorted
AND HE SWALLOWS
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