|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 10:51 am
It took a few more days for Orien to start feeling better. He knew it was thanks to Kaelan’s attentiveness that he wasn’t worse. Without Kaelan, Orien was pretty sure he would have wasted away or suffered from severe dehydration since he was unable to get up from bed at some points, much less get himself a cup of water. Food was another thing entirely. Sometimes he could keep things down, but most of the time he couldn’t.
He hated that their money was being spent on medicine for him. He had enough saved up so that they didn’t have to worry about that month’s rent, but if he couldn’t get back to work, and if Kaelan couldn’t find a job, then they would have to figure out how long they had until they were kicked out.
But that night he was feeling better, at least physically. Orien managed to pull himself out of bed and washed his face and brushed his hair, and pulled it up into a nice ponytail so it stayed out of his face. He was even smart for once and dragged over a chair so he could sit in the little kitchen area as he worked on getting dinner ready.
Yes, he was making dinner. Or attempting to. He usually just ate cereal when he was on his own, but after being out all day, he thought Kaelan deserved something a little more substantial.
They had some frozen chicken nuggets, so those were put on a baking sheet and placed in the preheated oven. And then the box of macaroni and cheese was dumped into the boiling water to cook.
Everything was going well! He had cups of water set over on the little fold out table he had in the corner of the room, and plastic forks that were washed and reused were set there as well.
It was when he was draining the noodles that he remembered… they didn’t have the butter or milk that was needed to mix in with the sauce.
Orien stared at the box for a moment, wondering what he could do instead. He’d already cooked the noodles so he’d either have to throw them out or… maybe they would taste fine if water replaced the milk? Okay, he would just have to try that…
He was working on stirring up the powdered cheese into the watery noodles when the oven timer went off. Orien cursed under his breath and set the pot aside. He was feeling overheated, but that was probably from standing over the stove and near the oven. He didn’t remember sweating as much when cooking before, but his body was s**t and he hadn’t eaten anything of substance in days. At least nothing he was able to keep down.
Except… he couldn’t remember where the oven mitt was. He had one, right? Or had it been misplaced at the laundromat? He figured a towel would probably work, so he quickly grabbed that so the chicken nuggets wouldn’t burn, reached in to pull them out and--
Immediately dropped them onto the floor. The metal baking sheet banging on the linoleum probably drowned out his pained cursing. Some of the nuggets were still stuck to the pan, but the others had flown off around the tiny kitchen.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 11:31 am
The door to the apartment opened only a few seconds after the sound of metal echoed into the hallway. Kaelan might not have gone out today if he hadn’t specifically had to. Orien was feeling well enough that they’d decided he could stay out for a while, so he’d made the best of it.
He’d been at the library for a little while. Finished his resume. Kept his appointment. Felt discouraged. Donated some plasma. Got sick after an hour of needles. But at least they hadn’t rejected him! Even if the whole place seemed a little shady. But they paid him, so he was one step closer to covering the cost of a phone plan, and then after that, real job.
It took him almost twenty minutes to make it up the stairs because he had to stop and catch his breath at every new floor.
He’d hurried down the hall when he heard a clattering from what he assumed to be their apartment. It smelled good! But–yeah, that was Orien swearing. It took a split second for Kaelan to piece together what had happened and he quickly insisted, “Run your hand under some cold water, I’ll–hold on, I’ve got these,” he said, and maybe wasn’t thinking entirely clearly when he began to scoop up the hot chicken nuggets from off the floor–but his hands were so cold that it felt nice. Even if he had to play hot potato to make sure he didn’t accidentally burn himself, too.
“Are you okay? What can I help with?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 1:28 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 1:53 pm
“Oh, really? I was worried I was running late,” he said, and managed to set the nuggets he’d collected down on a plate. Going up and down was a little dizzying, so then he just took the plate with him and sat down on the floor so he could pick up the others.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind. They smell so good. And you’re hurt. Keep your hand under the cold water. I still have a damp towel in the freezer,” he said, because even if the worst of Orien’s sickness was over, he didn’t want to risk a random flare up. They didn’t have any ice packs, so it was better to be safe than sorry.
“I mean, it’s frozen now, but it was damp when I put it in,” he added, realizing that maybe the half thought sounded a little crazy without clarifying. “I brought home cookies, so we can have a little dessert afterwards.”
There were a few more chicken nuggets across the kitchen, so he nudged the plate and crawled to get closer, pausing behind Orien so he could place a hand on his back. “I love you, I’ve almost got all of these. I’ll grab it in just a second.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 2:19 pm
“I actually have no idea what time it is, but I was starting to get hungry, so I figured you’d be home soon,” he admitted as he tipped his head back when Kaelan paused behind him.
“I love you too,” he sniffled, although he was trying not to cry. “I should have done this years ago. Maybe if I didn’t have any fingerprints as a kid, I would have gotten away with a lot more.”
He knew the joke fell a little flat and probably wasn’t funny at all when he had tears in his eyes and there were chicken nuggets all over the floor.
“Thanks, Kay,” his voice wibbled a bit as he reached up to unkindly rub at his face to try and get rid of the tears. And sweat. He still wasn’t sure if it was from being over the stove or from being sick.
“I just wanted to do something nice. You’ve been out and working so hard. You got cookies? I-- why do you look so pale?” he asked suddenly, his eyes narrowing with concern on Kaelan now that he had a moment to really look at him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 3:20 pm
Kaelan paused and, for a split second, there was a guilty look, but he just rubbed his back a little more and carefully pushed himself up. He wanted to say, ‘I’m not pale’, as if his hair wasn’t the easiest thing to compare to. It was only a little dizzying to stand up so quickly, but he was careful. He passed the chilled towel to Orien and stirred the macaroni and cheese while he was up.
“Well, because we have to have a phone for me to get call backs for a job,” he explained. “I got brownie points for bringing my resume to my meeting today, and now I’ve got an appointment with the temp agency coming up, so I just wanted to be ready. There’s a fifteen dollar plan or something at Walmart, and I can get a flip phone for cheap. It’s super lame, but also affordable, because this donation center by the library said they’d give me one fifty for my plasma. And it’s–Oreo, it’s super gross, but it was like, the fastest money I ever made. And I can donate again in two or three days and there’s a bonus for that, they’ll pay me two hundred for my second visit. I can go up to twice a week, they said. They suck out your blood and put it through a machine, pull out the plasma, and then put your blood back in you. And then I get a hundred for my next eight visits, and then it drops to like, fifty. And sometimes they have promotions or bonuses or something. But if I donate ten times in the next two months, we get a bonus gift card to this local steakhouse. Oh, and I brought us some oranges for breakfast, too. And I’ve got half a bottle of Powerade. It’s the blue one, so it’s good. Electrolytes or something. You should have some, I bet it’ll make you feel better, too.”
The macaroni looked a little weird but he didn’t comment on it, he just kept talking to fill the silence, and then sat down on the floor next to Orien so he could rub his back and pick up a few more nuggets.
“But they paid me in cash, right on the spot. They told me if I qualify for some bone marrow thing they pay up to like, seven hundred or something, so I’m going to ask about that when I go back. But um, yeah, I thought that sounded pretty okay, since we’re going to clean the fountains out soon. It’s something for right now.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 5:44 pm
Orien pushed himself up enough to be able to turn off the sink, and then slumped back down to the floor so he could sit there with Kaelan. He took the frozen towel to wrap around his reddened hand and held it close to his chest so he could cool the rest of himself off as well.
Here Kaelan was, thinking about their future, planning ahead, making sure they had everything sorted out… and Orien was there. Still sick and now wasting the little food that they had.
He felt the tears well up in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He was gracious for everything Kaelan had done for them, but felt horribly guilty for not being able to contribute.
“Maybe… maybe we can alternate days? That way I can take care of you on the days you’ve done it and, I mean, if they accept mine. I might have to wait for a period of time I guess. I don’t know how it works,” he mumbled and used his free hand to rub at his arm.
Did he like the idea of Kaelan selling his plasma for money? Not really. But if it got them a little extra money for food and other bills…
“Thank you… you really didn’t have to do that, Kay,” he sniffled again, trying to keep it together. But he was in pain and emotional and feeling like he wasn’t pulling his weight.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 5:54 pm
The tears didn’t alarm him; Kaelan had picked up the last of the chicken nuggets and then leaned back against the counter so he could rest against Orien. He could see the wetness in Orien’s eyes and knew he must have been working so hard to hold it together. He must have hurt. He must have been stressed.
“You’ve been taking care of me since I got here,” he reminded gently, resting his head on Orien’s shoulder. “You picked me up, brought me home, you had clothes and necessities for me, and food. Just because you’re sick right now doesn’t change anything. I’ll get sick down the road, too. Anyway, this looks much better than the sandwiches I was making.”
He reached for one of the nuggets, blew on it, and then took a bite out of it without any hesitation. “Mm. And they’re good, too. These are really juicy in the middle.” He offered the other half to Orien. “Oh, but we should wait until the macaroni’s finished, probably, yeah? I’m sorry, it just smelled so good. Your poor hand.”
He wanted to hold it but he supposed that right now was probably a bad time, so he just kissed Orien’s cheek instead, and adjusted positions so he could wrap his arm around his shoulders and draw him close. “You should take some ibuprofen so it doesn’t hurt so much. I’ll get it when we get up.”
…Except, for right now, he was just fine sitting on the floor with him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 6:10 pm
Maybe it was just because there was so little that Orien owned, that everything was kept surprisingly clean. Even for a cheap apartment, he wouldn’t have been upset about eating off the floor. Other places? Absolutely -- although he would if he was desperate.
The oven was kept clean as if it were new -- as new as a new tenant could keep an old oven. Everything was put in its place. Maybe after being locked up with nothing to really call his own, Orien was very particular to how things were now. It could have been something more than that, maybe from Orien’s childhood that made him want to keep everything clean now. Or maybe he just wanted it to look nice for Kaelan.
Orien blinked back the tears, but some still managed to escape. He scowled at them, because they weren’t supposed to fall.
He knew he probably shouldn’t be eating while he was about to cry, but he took the other half of the chicken nugget from Kaelan anyway, not wanting him to think he was refusing him. He wasn’t! He would just be very careful not to choke on it.
“The macaroni is probably ruined anyway,” he mumbled and let Kaelan pull him closer, his voice thicker with emotion now that the adrenaline from being burned was wearing off. “I forgot we used the rest of the butter and milk already. I’m sorry. I wasted a box -- I mean, I’m going to eat it, but. It probably doesn’t taste very good.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 6:30 pm
“I’m going to eat it too,” Kaelan assured, gently rubbing his back as he tried to get Orien to lean into him. “I forgot we were out of milk, too. I should have picked some up when I got the cookies. I think we have some slices of American cheese left. Worst case scenario, we’ll just throw some of that on and let it melt. But I don’t think it can be that bad. After the old cafeteria? Don’t worry, Oreo.”
He was always so worried that Orien was going to be hard on himself, and he used his free hand to tug the sleeve of his sweater down a bit so he could gently wipe at Orien’s eyes. Especially since he still had to hold that icy towel and make sure his hand was taken care of!
“I think it’s really sweet that you had dinner waiting for me. I really wanted something warm, too, so this is perfect. It’s okay,” he promised, and rested his head against Orien’s. “I’m more worried about your hand than anything else. What happened?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 6:38 pm
He had no idea how he could tell Kaelan how much he appreciated him. How good Kaelan was to him, how he made him feel better, and how he made him want to do things like make dinner and try to make things easier for him.
“I used a towel instead of an oven mitt,” he mumbled thickly with embarrassment. Especially since now he remembered where it was. He hadn’t lost it or misplaced it at the laundromat. He’d put it away in the drawer next to the oven with the express purpose of not forgetting where it was.
Frustrated and angry with himself, Orien rubbed at his face again, even as Kaelan gently wiped his tears away.
Maybe another reason he kept things so clean was because he didn’t want to misplace things so easily in clutter. His memory was bad, but Kaelan knew that. Orien just didn’t like being reminded about the problems that had plagued him since he was young.
“I just want you to know how much I love you,” he blubbered now, the tears coming a bit harder with his shame. Kaelan was so thoughtful and considerate, and Orien was just messing things up. “I missed you all day. I wanted to go with you, but-- I didn’t want to mess things up again.”
And he didn’t blame Kaelan for not insisting that Orien went with him. He was still recovering, so that was a good enough excuse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 6:47 pm
“It’s okay,” he soothed, and shifted positions once more so he could wrap both arms around Orien and hold him. He nuzzled closer, still gentle despite how badly he wanted to just be close to Orien.
“I love you, too. At least part of my day would have been super boring if you came with me, I don’t know if they would have let anyone come in with me when I was at my appointment. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. I wasn’t really thinking clearly, I guess I got a little anxious and was worried that when I do go talk to the temp agency, they’ll tell me no one wants me. So I was preparing for the worst, but. I don’t know. I think, when I panic, I go into overdrive. Like, I have to do everything all at once. I don’t know. I’m really scared of weighing you down.”
He shrugged a little, and rubbed at his back, his arm.
“I just want to be able to do as much for you as you do for me. I feel like I’ve got such a long way to go. I know how hard you worked to get this apartment. I really do want to make your life easier. So–maybe we can hang the oven mitts up with a magnet? We could put them on the side of the fridge so we can see them easily. Maybe that will help for next time?” he suggested gently.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 7:12 pm
Oh… magnets would probably be a good idea. He hadn’t thought about that. They would have to get magnets. But Orien nodded as he leaned against Kaelan.
“You have the best ideas. I don’t know what I’d do without you. The fountain, the--”
He paused. There were other things, like blurs on the edge of his memory. He could remember Kaelan’s smiling face, could hear the sound of his voice, but the words weren’t there. The actions weren’t there.
Orien could hear his heart pounding in his ears as he tried sorting through the blurs for the right memory, but instead he was drawing a blank. He squeezed his eyes shut as if that would stop any more tears from forming, but he knew that it sounded like he wasn’t paying attention enough to recall simple, kind things that Kaelan did for him to make both of their lives easier.
It was overwhelmingly stressful. It was probably why he could only focus on the day to day and not plan ahead as much as he wanted to.
“Was your appointment okay?” he asked thickly after rubbing at his eyes and nose and cleared his throat of the emotion that tried closing it. “I’m proud of you. You’ve been doing so well. And you never weigh me down. I feel like I’m the one doing that to you.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 7:27 pm
Oh, Kaelan’s heart hurt. He could see Orien trying to hold it together, could see him beating himself up about all of this.
“Orien, lay down in my lap for a minute,” Kaelan said, kissing his temple. He reached above him and carefully moved the macaroni off of the burner to make sure they didn’t have milkless, butterless, burned macaroni and cheese powder
“Let’s just sit here and relax for a minute. I bet you’re as tired as I am. We both had long days. You’re not weighing me down at all. You’re keeping me afloat. You give me the chance to try my hardest. And right now, I know we’re on rocky footing, but–we’re moving in the right direction. My appointment was okay, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t getting into trouble. Which is ridiculous, because if I didn’t have you, I literally wouldn’t have a place to stay. I don’t qualify for any of the assistance. He gave me some other places to try, but.”
Kalean shrugged. He knew what his chances were, no matter how hard he tried–and he’d much rather spend his energy doing something productive. He wasn’t going to let himself get too emotional, he couldn’t; he wanted to be strong for Orien.
…And, he really didn’t have the energy to tap into his emotions, he’d just start crying and knew he wouldn’t stop. He’d been keeping things bottled up since he got out, and he’d keep it up for as long as he could.
At the very least, until Orien was feeling better.
“I’m just really lucky to have you,” he said, rubbing his arm and leaning over to kiss atop his head. “I can’t ever thank you enough.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon May 01, 2023 7:47 pm
Orien whined like he intended to protest, but even as he was making a fuss, he was leaning over to rest his head on Kaelan’s lap. More than that, he practically crawled into Kaelan’s lap and pressed his face against his stomach, and wrapped his arms around his waist. It wasn’t the most comfortable for him, but he didn’t care. As long as he wasn’t making Kaelan uncomfortable too.
He’d wanted to make a nice dinner for Kaelan, and instead he was crying against his stomach on the kitchen floor in their tiny, studio apartment. Orien was just glad he had enough sense to get everything set up for Kaelan when he got out, instead of him finding some way to ruin everything.
“I love you. I love you so much, Kay. I’m sorry I messed things up-- that I mess things up. I’m lucky to have you. I’m scared that if I didn’t have you I’d just… end up where I was before. But worse. You make me feel like I’m worth something, Kaelan.”
And after his mishap in the kitchen that evening, he was feeling pretty worthless.
But not when Kaelan was holding him and reassuring him. Kaelan was perfect-- which Orien knew wasn’t true. They were both very imperfect, but it was Kaelan’s compassion and kindness that made him perfect for Orien.
“Those guys were assholes. They didn’t care that I had nowhere to go. Just told me that’s what happens when people break the law,” he tried to growl out his frustration, but it came out as a grumble.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
