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 Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 11:44 am
Some fresh air was going to be good for Orien. They’d spent a lot of time in the apartment, just trying to work through his sickness. It hadn’t been easy for Kaelan, which meant that it had been absolutely horrible for Orien, but they were doing their best.
Orien hadn’t been fired, yet.
But it also meant that neither of them were making any money and though Kaelan had been working on a resume, it was slow going, and he didn’t have a phone to be contacted through, or internet, or–well, anything. He was desperate. Most of his time was spent trying to look after Orien, anyway.
In the few days that they’d been there, the elevator had worked once, which meant that every time they needed something, they had to head up and down. It was exercise, sure, but Orien was supposed to be conserving his strength, and neither of them wanted to leave each other’s side.
Sometimes, they took little trips to the parks at night–never very far. Once, Orien had been absolutely knocked out–probably from exhaustion. Kaelan left him a note that he was going to the park and would be back soon–and, he was. Sort of. He’d been out late. It was difficult without a way to easily communicate, but.
He had his milk jug shovel, and with the amount of coins that thing could scoop up, Kaelan couldn’t help himself. He’d been worried, and desperate. He had no prospects as of yet, and Orien was so sick that he couldn’t imagine him going to work. At one point in time, he’d almost wondered if he could fill in for him to keep him out of trouble, but he still wanted to be by his side.
In the three hours that he was gone, he collected so many coins across the park that he’d wound up winded on the way back.
He didn’t take enough that it would be easily noticeable, and after he’d scooped too much out of one pool, he’d kicked the leftovers around to spread them out so it didn’t look like some criminal with a shovel had been stealing coins. At the end of the night, his plastic shovel was sufficiently scuffed and scraped, but he thought it could last a few more days. Longer, probably, if he was more careful, but he’d sort of panicked the whole time he was out.
For nothing, though. No one had caught him. Orien was still sleeping, exactly where he’d left him.
Kaelan had washed up and then crawled into bed, and finished his essay on noteworthy places in Destiny City. Which, of course, he’d completely reworked to include a few sappy, poetic paragraphs about an old fountain in the historical district, notable not only for its beautiful design but also its inspiring history. And, if his essay got chosen to be published, maybe people would throw more coins into more fountains, and then he could go dig them out.
Okay, he was tired. He needed to sleep more. But still.
He’d gone to the bank and gotten some coin rolls for free. He’d counted out the coins. He’d rolled them. Took them back to the bank and traded for paper dollars. Stopped at the dollar store to buy Orien a few things he hadn’t asked for, but while he’d been at the library he’d looked on the internet and it said chocolate might help him feel better, and he deserved a few treats. He didn’t buy anything that wouldn’t keep, and nothing that wouldn’t get used.
The thrift store was on the way home. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he stopped, just in case. Maybe a real shovel. Or a few candles so he could work without the lights on.
Or a ceramic peacock painted with soft, iridescent colors. For a moment he stared at the tiny bird, perched on a branch and surrounded by flowers.
He picked it up and looked at the emblem on the bottom–something he also recognized. There were a few other figurines–mostly birds and flowers, and an array of sad looking children.
The bird was a dollar, which was a dollar more than he wanted to spend, but he could hear his mother’s voice in the back of his head, nagging him–’Don’t touch grandma’s antiques, they’re not toys. They’re too expensive for you to play with.’
But, he recognized it, undoubtedly, and had paid the whole dollar, and a half a dozen slightly burned candles for just as much. A binder, full of unused paper, for fifty cents. No shovels, no dustpans. He couldn’t stomach the cost of the bristly old broom and dustpan they had for sale–he’d have paid a few quarters for that, but for the four dollars they were asking, he’d just keep using his milk jug until he wore it down to nothingness.
He’d left Orien home for too long; he’d said no more than two hours, and it was only just past an hour. His feet hurt from running around so much, but it was worth it if it meant he got home sooner. He’d made sure Orien had all that he could need–water, a bucket, medicine, some snacks. He would have taken Orien with him, but he didn’t want him to be out of bed for longer than need be.
When Kaelan got to their building, he ran up the stairs–mindful not to fall, and extra careful not to drop anything. He’d taken the key with him and unlocked the door to the apartment.
Even if Orien wasn’t already awake, it was going to be time to take his medicine soon so he wasn’t terribly worried about disrupting him when he arrived. “Orien!” he called. “I’m back. I brought you some treats, and I’ve got some money for us to put up for savings.”
He locked the door behind him, and hurried to set his bags down gently on the small table so he could get back to Orien’s side and check on him.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 12:49 pm
Orien hated feeling so sick. He felt like he’d been sick long enough. He missed Kaelan and being able to do things with him without feeling like he would puke at any moment. He was tired of being in bed. He was tired of being useless.
He was still in bed when Kaelan got home, although he had draped himself part of the way over the bed. The sheets ended up getting twisted as he tried to escape them, and even more twisted when he climbed back in.
“Can we afford to have savings?” he asked, although he tried keeping the skepticism out of his tired voice. But the promise of treats had him perking up a little. He tried rolling over again, but just got twisted up a little more in the sheets.
“Help,” he whined pathetically, trying and failing to kick at the sheets.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 1:02 pm
“What happened? This doesn’t look like resting, it looks like you were trying to escape and the bed caught you,” Kaelan said, resisting the urge to just outright laugh. He couldn't hide the smile the sight had summoned, but half of that at least was just seeing Orien, no matter what he’d gotten himself tangled up in.
He hurried over and began to tug the sheets away as he tried to untangle Orien without jostling him too much. He was equally quick to hook his arms underneath him and try to maneuver him out of the bed so he didn’t tumble out.
“It’s not savings savings, but–you know, I figured if there was a little bit to help with rent, you might not worry so much. Chocolate’s supposed to help, so I got you some. And some more crackers. They’re just from the dollar store, I spent like, eleven dollars. But we’ve still got over fifty. And I think I might be able to make some more. Maybe. I made an impulse purchase, you’re going to hate it. But I want to get it cleaned up and then take it down to an antique store or something to see what they’ll give us for it. It’s identical to one we had at home. Actually, it’s in better condition. But back then, Mom said it was too expensive for me to play with. So if we make more than a dollar off of it, that’s all profit. How are you doing, are you okay?”
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 1:41 pm
Orien graciously accepted the help. He whimpered and groaned and leaned heavily on Kaelan as he helped him out of the sheets, but once it was all over, he sat on the bed with his back against the wall so he could see what Kaelan was showing him.
“You got me chocolate? That’s really sweet of you. Thank you. And for helping me up,” he said with relief. He reached over to the bedside table for the bottle of water left there, and carefully pulled it into his lap so he could work on the lid. His hands were shaking a bit, so he knew he needed to use both to hold it steady, but he also had his full attention on Kaelan’s finds.
“You going to try and sell it somewhere?” he asked, curious about what it was. “I’m not feeling as bad as I have been. It comes and goes in waves. My heart won’t seem to settle down, though. It’s been racing and making me dizzy. I tried going to the bathroom earlier. I mean I did get out, but then I couldn’t figure out what I did with the sheets and it just… got worse.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 1:54 pm
Kaelan smiled sympathetically at him, and just smoothed his hair before he went to get the bag from the thrift store. He’d been extra careful with the peacock, and he was just as much so now when he moved to sit down next to Orien on the bed. He unwrapped the paper and lifted the dusty little thing to show him.
“This, yeah. I want to sell it. Maybe we can go out later today if you’re feeling better. I’m so worried that the air in here isn’t moving enough.” They didn’t have the air on much, and it was somewhat cool but he was worried about stagnant air or something. Or, maybe it was just because he’d been cooped up for so long that he always felt better when the world was open to him.
“But it’s okay, if we have to wait, we can. Or I can go alone. I’ve spent a lot of time out today, I don’t want to leave you here and alone, so miserable that you have to wrap yourself up like a burrito to make it through the day.”
He turned the peacock over in his hand; sans the dust, it was in very good condition, and there was a part of him that was very excited to see what they could get for it. Hopeful. All he had to do was make more than a dollar and that was good enough for him. (But he’d have liked more.)
“I’ll go get you the chocolate in a bit. Maybe working out a little energy will be good for your heart if it’s got you high strung now? I can get you a snack, some fresh water. We can get you cleaned up. The day is ours, we can do anything we want.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 7:24 pm
“That’s pretty. It’s not so bad,” Orien said as he leaned closer to look at the little figurine. After a few moments, he held out his hand so Kaelan could let him see it but--
Oh…
He quickly withdrew his hand and slumped a little against the wall. He knew he shouldn’t be touching things. It was best if he didn’t handle anything breakable, and Kaelan probably knew that better than anyone. It would be really stupid of him to let Orien hold something that was supposed to be valuable -- something Kaelan hadn’t been allowed to touch as a child.
“Sure, I can try to go out with you. If that’s okay? I have too much time to think about things when I’m alone. I don’t like it. They’re… not good thoughts. I mean, I hear your voice, too. But my thoughts are still pretty loud and stubborn,” he admitted, although he felt a little guilty that he couldn’t just block everything out. He wished it was that simple.
Maybe he just needed to get his energy out. Or something. He might end up passing out on the way down the stairs, but it was better than being cooped up in that room.
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 7:35 pm
“I was worried about that,” Kaelan confessed, and when Orien was done examining it, he just wrapped the figurine up and got up to put it on the table. He came back quickly to sit next to Orien, and he smiled and kissed his cheek as he did so. There were worry lines on his face already, but he smiled so much that it was almost easy to look past them. Almost.
He wasn't pretending to be happy to be back with Orien, though.
Worried that he wasn’t getting his water quickly enough, he cupped his hands over Orien’s so he could hold them–and hold them still, briefly. He made sure the cap was loose, and then settled in next to him so they could relax for a moment.
“I kept thinking about you the whole time I was out, I went as fast as I could. I just wanted to get back to make sure you were okay. I’m here now, though. I’ll try to chase away any bad thoughts. I’d love to have you come with me. We can take some breaks, too. I’ll bring some water and snacks, we’ll make a date out of it.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 7:58 pm
It was more of a relief to get Kaelan’s help than it was embarrassing or shameful. Anyone else who tried to do it for him might have gotten a bad reaction, but when it came to Kaelan, all he could feel was gratitude and love.
“Thanks,” Orien mumbled quietly, and once he was done taking a few sips of water, he leaned close to Kaelan so he could rest his head on his shoulder as they relaxed.
“I know. I know you wouldn’t leave me alone unless you were busy,” he said and let his eyes close. His free hand rubbed at his chest and racing heart, before reaching over to drape his arm over Kaelan’s lap to hold onto his leg.
“Oh, that sounds nice. I don’t need anything to be fancy as long as I’m with you. Maybe we can splurge and get a hotdog or maybe we can convince someone to buy one for us. You’ve got such a cute, innocent face. I’d be surprised if anyone could tell you no.”
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Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2023 8:11 pm
It was easy to tuck his head close to Orien’s and close his eyes for a moment. “Well, nothing’s more important than you, don’t ever forget that.” He maneuvered so he could snake his arm around Orien’s shoulders and hold him a little closer.
“I just wanted to get a few things together, things that we weren’t able to get before. I know this is hard for you, but you’re doing so well. And if you want me to go sniffle and puppy dog eye someone for a hot dog, I will absolutely do it. I’m pretty sure we can get them for like a dollar fifty if we can find someone selling them on the corner. I saw a guy earlier. We can load up on condiments. And the bread will be pretty filling.”
And hopefully a hot dog was gentle enough that it wouldn’t upset Orien’s stomach.
“I don’t need anything fancy, I just need you.” He kissed his cheek again and nuzzled close. “I don’t think I’ll need to go out again any time soon. We’ve got enough food to last us, and we’re not going through bed sheets fast enough to need the laundromat. And we’ve got plenty of books, I can read to you while you’re resting. And then my voice will definitely drown out any of those bad thoughts.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 6:59 am
“That’s because I like your voice,” Orien pointed out. It was easy to rest and breathe and relax with Kaelan around, but he knew that there was a lot that needed to be done before they could be completely comfortable. Having jobs would be good. Staying away from people who could get them in trouble would be better. He didn’t want to get arrested and forced to leave Kaelan for any amount of time.
“I’m not saying you have to, I’m just saying I bet you could do it,” he smiled even with his eyes closed. He rubbed the outside of Kaelan’s leg, and then turned his face enough to press it against his neck.
“You feel nice. I keep going from hot to cold. It sucks. But you’ve made sure I have everything I need, so thank you, Kay.” He really was the best.
There were a few moments that he was quiet, but then he looked up at Kaelan curiously. He was tempted to just keep his mouth shut but…
“We never really talked about it before but… I mean with us going on dates and all… does that mean you’re my boyfriend? I mean… people can go on dates without-- I mean. What I’m trying to say is… well, I would like that. If you would.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 8:48 am
The answer was yes, and Kaelan almost let the words tumble out of his mouth, but then the reality of it really hit him. Boyfriends. Like, actually dating. Not just whispering words of love and adoration, and stealing kisses whenever they could. He felt like there was air rapidly filling his head–in a good way! He was elated. They wouldn’t have to hide their feelings for each other.
“Yes, of course. I mean–I can ask you out officially, but I suppose I had already thought we were dating. I mean, dating dating. I should have picked you some flowers while I was out. I even passed some nice flowers in the park. I thought, no one would even notice if I just picked one. But you deserve more than just that. So I’ll get you real flowers one of these days. I’m off to a good start with the chocolate, yeah? And we’ve already moved in with each other.”
And he was already certain that he was going to be in this for the long run. He couldn't imagine any situation where he wanted to be apart from Orien. It had been miserable for the whole year they were separated, and they had a lot to catch up on–and, they would! Just, when Orien was feeling better.
For now, he was enjoying this quiet, gentle moment, just resting against him.
“If you need anything at all, I’ll get it for you. I really do want to make sure you have everything. But um–yes,” he said, and drew Orien a little tighter. “I want to be exclusive with you. I want to be dating you. Courting you. Wooing you. All of those serious, long-term things. I mean, I love you. I want to be with you.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 10:13 am
His heart beat faster for a different reason now. Orien loved Kaelan. Had loved Kaelan for years now. But given the circumstances that brought them together, they hadn’t exactly had a chance to talk about things like what they wanted to call each other.
Orien laughed softly at how cute and sweet Kaelan was--
And then groaned when he remembered that his stomach really wasn’t doing him any favors right now. He leaned closer into Kaelan, before flopping over into his lap and curled up on himself a little.
“I’m not doing a very good job of wooing you, I don’t think,” he muttered and held his hand against his mouth to make sure if his stomach did betray him that he would have some time to move himself away before making a mess on Kaelan and the bed.
“The chocolates are perfect. You’re perfect, Kay,” he said after making sure his stomach was fine for a little while, because he wanted to turn and look up at his wonderful boyfriend.
“I want to be exclusive with you, and--” he paused and made a face, waiting for the sensation to pass before quickly continuing with, “And everything else. I love you too.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 2:27 pm
As soon as Orien was in his lap, Kaelan deliberately relaxed and stretched himself out in an effort to be the most comfortable pillow he could manage. His fingers were in Orien’s hair almost immediately, gently combing his hair from his face. Sometimes, his fingers would glide over his cheeks as he tried to soothe him.
“I’m already thoroughly wooed, don’t worry. Everything now is just the icing on the cake.”
Well, he supposed there were plenty of hardships ahead of them. He was trying to take it all one day at a time, and that was enough for now. He had Orien, they had each other.
“I can’t imagine anyone else. I mean that. I don’t want anyone else. Just you, my very exclusive, very wonderful boyfriend. We should figure out where our anniversary is. I mean, I really didn’t think about it before,” he admitted. “...But I bet if I went through the letters I wrote to my mother, I could figure out when it was. I wrote to her about you.”
Not that she’d read the letters, but.
His throat felt raw immediately, but his heart was beating against his chest. He had all the letters, he could read them. If he could work up the nerve to do so, but.
“There might be some good stories in there, I don’t know. I just. I really liked you, even early on. And, you’ve already been by my side for years. That has to count for something.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 6:11 pm
Orien closed his eyes as fingers smoothed the hair from his face and went over his cheeks. He felt content. Happy.
Well, his body was trying to murder him, but that wasn’t Kaelan’s fault. That was all his own.
“Hey,” he said softly when he opened his eyes again. He lifted his hand to place against Kaelan’s cheek, brushing his thumb over his face. “You did your best. You tried. You put in the effort. She didn’t. I’m so proud of you for trying to reach out to her. You’re a bigger person than she is.”
But the idea of Kaelan writing about him had Orien a little flustered.
“I hope it was only good things you told her. And not that I freaked you out in the infirmary that first night,” he said with a grimace. “Or… tried to tell her. If I had anyone else in my life other than you, I would absolutely brag about you. You’re so smart and brave and the best person I know. You’ve always taken care of me, even when I caused problems.”
Another pause and groan. “Like now.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2023 7:02 pm
The fingers on his face felt safe. Warm. He leaned into them and wanted to disappear for a few seconds. Orien hadn’t said anything bad, his heart was just still very raw. He hadn’t tackled the rejection on more than a superficial level. He managed a half smile, anyway.
“I’m sorry, Oreo.”
He smoothed his hair and ran his fingers lightly over his back and arms. “If you need me to get something, I can go grab it.” A snack, more water, medicine–they were all close. “You’ll feel better soon. You’re doing good. You can’t be too hard on yourself, we’re going to come out of this on top. Better than ever. Thank you for always saying such nice things about me. I only ever said nice things about you, too. I was worried about scaring my mom. I wanted her to think I was okay. But.”
She hadn’t read the letters. It hadn’t mattered either way.
But Orien had read his letters. Had written back to him. It hurt a little less to know how much he cared about him.
“I’d never say anything bad about you. Just so you know. I like you too much.”
And most people didn’t give Orien a chance in the first place. They didn’t understand him. He wasn’t going to talk about anything that might make them judge him unfairly or with extra malice. He couldn’t imagine anything important enough to say if it meant Orien might get hurt from it.
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